A place where I post silly reviews of various movies from an "everyman" or "contrary" P O V. Done in the style of a newspaper article and a grade school book report. Don't take these seriously. Its all in good fun. Also, each review ends with a crazy sequel idea.
Monday, February 18, 2019
Galaxy Quest Review
note; I never saw this b4 but imma spell like I never spelled b4
galaxy quest
this is my review on galaxy quest
its got tim allen and the guy from die hard/harry potter and the chick from aliens/gorillas in my a55
its a parody of star wars and maybe star trek or something
I hear its good
lets find out
it starts wirth a cheesy fullscreen sci fi show in fullscreen
they goes to a widescreen sci fi con with s reunion of the show
but tim allen is late and others are malcontent over their careers
tim comes in and he has to convince snape from harry potter to go out
but tim allen loves his cheesy a55 fame
at the signing a guy who was in 1 ep wants to get in on it
snape hates being part of it and tim sez alienz chick might've been b0ning
also these weird guys want tim
later tim goes home, drinks and watching his show
he wakes up and the weird guys are there outaside his glass house
they say they are from the klatu nebula and their people are being f'd out
klaatu barada nikto
they come in and tim thinks they are ust nerds
they take a limo ride and they tell him their peoples history
he dozes off and they get sucked into space
tim has a meeting with the bad guy and tim orders opening fire on him
he wants to get home but is coated in blue goo and fired toward a worm hole an sent back to urth
it was real!!
later tim comes late to an add for a electronics shop and tells da cast but they think hes nuts or drunk
eventually the cast chooses to go with him and gets teleported to the space
then some tentacle monsters come in and use power tools on em and it freaks em out
but they use appearance generators to look human
they are glad to meet em and think their 80s show was a historical thing and they remastered their cr-ppy society into theirs
also they made a real ship like theirs from the tv show
tim is confident and the crew isn't
the black guy who drives it is able to getta hang for it kinda but scrapes the wall
then gets out and i'm not sure the ship could scrape the wall like that with its big a55 wings
later they eat food made just for them and snape gets gets alien ticks
the bad guy wants the omega 13 that if activated, could wipe out all matter in (chaos number infinity) the universe!
also the last commander was tortured dead
tim meets the bad guy who gives em 10 seconds b4 he ices em and he tells aliens chick to kill the signal
she thinks it means "we're dead" and dont kill the signal
tim bashes bad guy who opens fire on him and they go to warp jump but the ship cant take it
they go through a minefield in space and the ship gets f'd
also the power source cracked and they need a new one
the nerds think its their fault as tim and friends got outta worse thing on their show
the crew trys to explain make believe but they only recently found out about lies and think high of tim and friends
also they find a new power source on a planet
they go there and theres midget aliens who mine there
1 is wounded and they eat it
they discuss over how to get the item and they start rolling the item
but many cgi midgets come after em
they get away but tim gets left behind
he has to fight this monster and they wanna teleport him up with an untested thing
they test it on the monster and it turns inside out and blows apart
then tim burton fights a rock monster
remember that syfy or w/e tv movie rock monster?
that was pretty tongue in cheek good
so after good bickering, tuim gets the guy who played the weapons alien in men in black and the autistic guy in monk to teleport him out
so its revealed they are the last of their kind
but the bad guy got on their ship and tortured one of the nerds
he wants to know what omega 13 does and is gonna b0ne the girl dead
but tim comes out about it being a show
tim tells space nerd its all make believe and its a sad moment
he takes it better than commies who get told global arming is fake or rednecks who get told wrestling isn't real
bad guy is gonna dump em in space
and nuke da ship
tim fakes an argument with snape and a fight and in the chaos clubs out a guard and traps him in the airlock and sends em in space
also the space nerds are running outta air
tim sends em to fix the issues and sends a message to a fan who got his communicator and he didn't answer the question at the con for info on how to shut down the overloading core
nerd webchats with his nerd friends to get da info and tim and aliens chick go across this metal plank over a fan
also the omega 13 can send u 13 seconds into da past
snape and a space nerd open the air thing to save the space nerds
tim and alienz chik get to a hallway of crushers like in a bad video game
they get through
also the bad guy sends men to the ship hearing tim and crew got out
but monk sends the rock monster into the teleport room and it crushes em into paste
also monk makes out with a space tentacle monster
they launch rock monster into space and the aliens who were saved by snape say tim saved em
1 space nerd gets capped and has a scene where he sez snape is like his dad
then he bites it and goes to space h-ll
snape is moved by this and attax the alien who capped da guy
tim needs the nerd but mom made him take out da trash
he hugs alien chick but the core don't nuke as it always stops at 1 on the show
the crew gets back and flys through a minefield with bad guy chASING EM
they get by the space mines and charge at the bad guys with mies following em and turn to bust the bad guys with all those mines
thats pretty clever
the tortured space nerd comes back and says he thinks the actor thing was fake
space nerd ants tim as their commander but he sez no
hey go through a black hole to get home but monk is revealed to be bad guy in disguise and kills everyone
toim does omega 13 and gets a 13 second redo
he beats up monk and tortured nerd clubs him out
they go to urth and launch a pod with the actors and is going super fast
so nerds at earth use fireworks in daytime to help em land
they crash at a con and come out to cheers
oh and tentacle alien gf went with monk
buit bad guy comes out after em
so they pop him with a space gun
good guy with a gun!
tim smootches aliens chick and I hope she didn't put a xenomorph in him
then galaxy quest comes back for galaxy quest GT and the extra guy who was in 1 ep is now a main character
the end
that was good
nice 90s sci fi comedy with heart and wit
if you love star trek you'll love this
tim allen is great and the other cast fits just as well
the protoculture of nerd stuff is well done and they really knew what they were doing in this
for galaxy quest 2 I want it to be about the gov trying to stop their show as they are too close to the truth. but the aliens intervene and appear in public and the people realize that theres life out there. also the gov blames the cast for this an tries to have em taken out. but it turns out, the gov is working for another space race and don't want competition. its also a platform game where you play as one of the cast and get through hidden areas to get this alien disc to the public to tel the people da gov is with other aliens on play station, sega Saturn and n64.
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