Sunday, April 21, 2019

The Basketball Diaries Review

note; drugs are for losers. as is spelling right
the basket ball diarers
this is m review on the basket ball diaries from da 90s
its based on a book by a junkie I never read
its got Leonardo decaprio, Michael imperioli, ernie hudson and mark Wahlberg
and other dinks I never heard of
I never saw diss b4 butt I red da wikipeeda page
it starts with leo in bed and a woman praying franticly across the street
then he sez at 8 he invited God to watch the world series with him but God never showed
1st; that's not how God works
2nd; baseball s-cked
then after an a55 paddling at catholic school in front of da class, he and his 90s droogs go out for a bit o de ultra violence
they hang onto the back of a bus, harass a hotdog man and sniff napkins on a boat
someone needs to get these kids a sega
I think this is soviet new York as they have those accents
then threy go to another school to play a b ball game
they sign a ball for bobby who is either bobbys world or that little p o s from king of the hill
coach offers to help leo get a good scout to find him and go over schools
oh it is sovirt new York
they talk like joe pesci
so reos good at the b ball and his mexican homie breaks into lockers and steals during the game
the mexico looks like joey jeremiah from degrassi jr high
hes got the hat and coat
at a burger place the team orders more food than coach can pay 4 so he don't drive em home
then they fight the guys who mexico stole from
so is this like clockwork orange?
the main guys r da bad guys?
at night they're hanging out and a probably drugged up h00ker comes by offers a cheap b0ning
they dump trash on her and leeo sees his sick friend and gives him the ball they signed
sick friend is the best player on da team and his best friend
just like zeo or faust or tobey or w/e his name was in beyblade metal masters
Beyblade ripped off a movie about drugs
leo breaks him out and wheels him around at night and lets him read leoz poems
then thry go to some place where a chick takes off her clothes in a room
sick friend don't like it as I think it turned him queer so ryo takes him back
later leoz mom wants him to getta job to learn responsibility
he writes poems and worries about some psycho following him
then this big black guy comes by and plays b ball
I like the look of this film
very mid 90s
then his droogs come by and read his journal
he gets p-ssed and goes off with em to screw around in da park
they go by a cliff and mexco friend don't wanna jump
so 1 guy jumps and eventually so does mexico
b4 they jump, 1 guy tellz leo hes gota surproze
1 guy takes leo to meet 2 girls, winky and blinky
what are they? pac man ghosts??
she gives him drugs and sez it'll make him like superman
Donald trump and weird al never did drugs and would turn this down
but leo isn't as moral or honorable as em
so he b0nes the girl and writes some cr-ppy poem
he keeps rubbing is nose so I think he did blow
later he goes to da medicine cabninet and does drugs
then leo sees his sick friend who just bit it
after a b ball game in the rain (which I like torrents but not b ball) he gets into drugs at the mexicoi's basement
his mom tries talking sense into him but hes too high
then he has confession and tries to tell the priest his sins but cant get it out
after he starts a tirade the priest shuts the window as he don't want this little c-ck suckers b--chyness
after more drugs and the head priest seeing him, he has a drug fantasy of shooting up his class
wait, its just a dream
we all have crazy dreams
I often slice through people or bust their heads
later its time for sum b ball and they do drugs to get em through it
but cant tell which ate boosters or lowrers
1 homie; i'll see you in the nba
me; is that the b ball version of; see u in h-ll?
so they play  ball all drugged up and f it up
what do ja know, arcade games are right
winners don't do drugs
hitler was big on meth
now people do drugs on his birthday
so the cops don't fine any drugs but they get in trouble
so leo and droogs quit school and the team and life
1 guy stays behind
hes called neutron
is he an autoboot??
well leo's character is jim so I guess this is where jimmy neutron came from
an r rated drugs and h00kers movie
well both basketball and jimmy neutron s-ck so I guess it works
lotsa ugly a55 characters in it too
at least dexters lab was cool and fun and had babes
so 1 homie and leo are still high and are more worried about the missing drugs than their lives
he sez f u to his mom and she's had enough of his sh-t and kills him
she tells him to gtfo and he goes to da streets of new York to get b0ned
He should never have gotten into drugs
On Blue Bloods: This girl nearly bites it from an overdose. She says"I don't do drugs! I only tried it once today" Me: I don't f--k raccoons! I only tried it once today! See how much sense that makes??
later his droogs are breaking into cars at night and riding in em
the take it to a guy but da car gets toed
the guy is 1 guy's brother and breaks his arm for f ing up the deal
later they do drugs, drink and talk about their experinces
lyos mom prays for her junkie son for God to save him
later the h00ker from b4 comes by and I think they b0ned
then the guys break into an ice scram shop and eat cr-p and trash da place
mexico is drinking cr-p he made and 1uy busts his head and ditches him as da cops get him
he's gonna get b0ned dead
man they lost 3 guys from their gang
at a bar they see newtron at an all American game on tv
that could've been him
later 1 guy I think goes to see winky and blinky but they are clean now and theyre dad is there and they say they don't know him and guard kix his a55 out
later a skinhead beats up leo over not giving him back 20$ for the bad drugs he gave his gf
so leo is left to bit it in da snow and the black guy comes and saves him
he wakes up at black guys place and black guy flushes his drugs as leo attacks him
black guy sez lreo helped him b4 and hes repaying him
then loe is  jonesing an detoxing at black guys place
hes moaning and drooling and crawling around like an animal
in the real version I bet he was smearing his own waste on himself and the walls
so after that he's writing in his book but don't know what to write
he digs around and finds the key and gets out and asks the h00ker for drugs
she gives him change and tells him off and they yell at each other like pushy new Yorkers
they he meets with a 1 guy and buys some drugs
but they goy jewed and 1 guy chases the dealer with a gun across the empty streets of soviet new York
you'd think there'd be more h00kers out
and homies
they chase him to a rooftop and drug dealer falls off and Wilhelm screams
1 guy gets caught and beat by new Yorkers and da cops get him
then leeo comes home to mama like the prodigal son
but instead of wanting to come back he wants cash
he has an episode and she lox his a55 out
he also sounds sorta autistic
i'm getting gilbert grape flashbacks
maybe one of the drugs he took was a flu shot
mom calls the cops and they eventually take his cady a55 away to be put to sleep
after 6 months in jail and getting clean cold turney
later he meets his mexco homie and hes a junkie
also 1 guy got 15 years as he was tried as an adult
then leo gives a speech about the various kinds of junkies
its to a high school audience or something
then text sez leo wrote the basket ball diarieahs at 17 and at 22 did more books
he lives in soviet new York and does stuff
had he stayed clean he'd be a b ball star
the end
oh and tobey huss from king of the hill and Halloween 2018 is in here
that was pretty good
the music was good
the credits music is pretty early/mid 90s
huh, it was written by the guy leo played
good acting
good effects
good story
good 90s feel
as a 90s kid I enjoyed it
although this film is based on actual persons, events and cr-p are fiction
so its all fake?
but I liked this and watched te pg version on fox with te swearing and drug use and nude scenes removed
for the basketball diaries 2 I want him to be successful on his new book but the guy who went to jail gets out and wants revenge. he is huge and muscley after years in jail and is on roids now. he wants revenge for leo leaving him in jail and don't know leo went to jail roight after him. also he wants to get himk back on rugs and chases him with needles of chronic. its also an 8 bit platform game where you play as the jail homie and hunt down Leonardo and try to throw drug needles at him to addict him

No comments:

Post a Comment