Tuesday, April 30, 2019

The Shock Review

Note; i spell better than calefornia does anything
the shock
this is my review on the shock from the distant future year of 1923
its got lon chaney who usually plays cripples who sacrifice themselves to sav the chick they love
its also got walter long who was gus in birth of a nation
its directed by Lambert Hillyer who also did the 1943 batman serial
and base on a story by william dudley pelly who was into some freeky M Bison stuff
so it starts in chinatown in soviet san fran sicko in a mandarin cafe of vice
lon chaney is there and is a bada55 who is called dangerous
in the cafe he gets a message i think in morse code to go to queen anns
he gets out on crutches as he always plays disabled guys
he goes to the evil underworld queen anns place who rules things there and is sent on a mission to fallbrook
man, young lon chaney looks like lon chaney jr
fallbrook is near there but dont have as much crime
while there he starts softening and made a friend whos a nice chick
for once in his life hes happy
also she helps him come to terms with his disability
but he hasnt told her of his crime past
but she dont care as we can make a good future irregardless of an past
she gives him a book called "right thoughts" which nowadays would be politically correct sodomy
she gave him her moms bible
and gives him hopeful positive words
so the chick's dad is the leading banker in town
also he dont like lon chaney
later lon chaney goes to see the chick but she has a bf and it tears him apart
he starts to leave but she catches him and chats
bf's dad owns the general store
lon looks bummed and has given up
he was a great actor
you can really see it in his face how hes all busted up
oh and chick is engaged to bf
lon supports bf as he wants chick to be happy
but if he dont, lon's gonna b0ne him dead
at night dad gets a call from queen anne and she knows hes been stealing from his bak for her
she tells him not to run as shes got a guy there for weeks
and when the bank examoner comes, he's going to jail like how he sent her there years b4
dont drop the soap
lon is conflicted as he dont wanna f up the girl he likes but cant go against queen anne as she'll have him wacked
lon goes over to da bank and tells dad he works for queen ann
but b4 he can say anymore, dad knocks his dead a55 out and runs off
meanwhile, chick worrys abotu dad and goes to da bank
but lon woke up and set up dynamite and is trying to get out b4 it blows
but he's crippled so its rough
he gets out but sees chick and bf there and it goes off and the wall crushes her
bf digs her out and everyone in town comes by
chaney is busted up over what he did to her, the only one who was nice to him
bfs dad tells him to dump her and dr tells lon that she's crippled
unless she gets surgery
also dad wants to use lon chaney to his advantage
he tells lon he knows lon did it to save him
and he wants to see queen ann
dad was gonna marry her but he found out shes a b--ch and outed her to the cops
now she wants revenge
10 years ago she tricked him to sign stuff that could send him to jail
she black maled him and he had to pay and to pay he stole from da bank
cuz the bank blew theres no bank evidence
but he needs to get the documents back from queen ann so they wont be used against the chick
lon agrees to take on the evil queen elisabeth i mean ann out for him
meanwhile, the papers say a surgeon is coming for chick and her dad faces ruin
chick goes to get surgery and lon returns to queen anne
she grills lon over how the bank blew and how the daughter is gonna recover
and how hes happy
she sez shes gonna f up his daughter to get to dad
btw this queen ann is pretty evil
no redeeming traits
shes just bad to the bone
like the witch in the wizard of oz
or megatron in transformers
nowadays we can't have female vilians unless its got a girl fighting her
plus in soviet canada, women weren't considered persons under the law until after sound movies came in
but here a strong and evil woman isnt usually what people think of being a thing in the 20s
so lon looks for the documents in queen anns place
he finds a vault behind a picture and in a hidden passage comes queen anns men
lon cant get to the box its in cuz hes crippled and its too high
meanwhile bf breaks up with chick
lon gives up and uses a phone to call bf and tells him to meet him at the mandarin cafe after midknight
queen anns men tell her about lon and she sez to not interfere as she can she this
later at da cafe he tells bf he needs him to reach the safe
he dont care as he dumped her but lon makes him as hes a p o s candy a55
at da cafe queen ann has her goons get them
qeun an wants bf to call chick down there for her to f up
lon trys to stop em but hes criplled and cant
he still tries like with ironhide clinging to megatrons leg in the transformers movie
she tells bf to say lon was in an accident and for her to get in a cab
he tells her and she comes
she tells chick her dad ruined her life and now shes gonna take it out on her
and its cuz of lon she has her
she orders chick to be taken to her place until she comes and lon attacks but gets his dead a55 kicked
chick is taken away and lon prays for a miracle
then then God smites san fran sodom with an earthquake and the house chick nearly went into goes into the sea off a cliff
good effects showing the city f--king out
lon celebates as they all go to h-ll
then comes the flames
but somehow lon survives and recovers from getting crushed in a building
just like wat happened with the girl
the film ends with lon and chick together outside and on can walk again
i guess getting crippled 2x uncrippled him
like how a negative X a negative make a positive
or 2 wrongs make a right
the end
that was really nice
and for once, lon chaney gets a happy ending
9/10x he bites it and norman kerry or whoever the other guy is gets the girl
but this is the odd one out
i liked this
good simple story
good effects
good acting
good characters
the bad guy is a woman and has no redeeming values
even in anime they usually give the bad guy some god past or something like in wedding peach or sailor moon
here its more like cutey honey how the bad guy is just bad
lon chaney is great as always and the other characters fill their parts well
it doesn't show much of lon as a bad guy and goes right from intorducing him to reforming him
but it works
plus its only like an hour long
check this out if you can
and put it on the history channel
its set in 1906
for the shock 2 i want lon and the girl to have a family but it turns out that queen ann has survived and is a torso and head with spring and gear limbs connected to her and giving her some movement. she wants revenge and wants the chick's limbs for herself. so she sends her minions to catch her/ but lon is now more than recovered from his crippilage and is big and buff like hulk hogan. as is the chcik. they fight their way through waves of queen annes men in the partly rebuilt ruins of san fran sicko and work tehir way to her hidden lying base.its also a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis and snes and turbografix16 and atari jaguar and gba and you play as either lon or the chick and beat people up.

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