Sunday, May 5, 2019

Snow Day Review

Note: In soviet canada, ewverty day is a snow day


this is my review on snowday from the early 00s

its by nickelodeon when they were good

so chevy chase is a weatherman and hates his job

and its a warm winter and the principle is BBQing

a kid nails him with a snowball from last year

whenever its warm in any area they promote global warming

but when its cold, they say "just because its cold now dont mean theres no global warming"

also this teen is into this female teen but she dont know he exists

hes the narrator played by ferris bueler

he falls in da pool and finds her necklace

huh, she was cheetara in the 2011 thundercats

and was in the crow 4

so teen comes home and his snowball throwing sister is playign with his he man knock off toys

oh and chevy chase is their dad

so chevy gives girl a lucky snow globe

later teen wants to talk to his crush over the necklace but queers out

girl wishes for snow on the globe

and it happens

in her room

but its not real

but then chevy at work gets work theres a sudden snowstorm

the next day it snowed a lot and its a snow day

but the evil snow plow man comes by in his mad max machine and bad teeth and scuzzy look

he has a pet bird and chases kids in his plow

dumba55 kids playing in da road!

girl wants to get 2 snowdays in a row

even in soviet canada we never had 2 in a row

and teen wants to win the girl he likes

While going to his car, princilpe is nailed a lot by kids snow balls

later the girl and her droogs are in a snowcave they totally had time to dig out, rig with lights and put a tv/ps1 in

the mr plow comes by and they gotta book it

they bulit it in the road!?

freekin idiots!!

they throw a snowball at him and get him in the face

he stops his plow and the kids go near

then freak out as he wakes up and his truck stars

is he connected to his machine like in escaflowne?

he busts theoir snow base with they used an escape tunnel slide to get outta

they had time to make that too?

also it was actually on the grass

meanwhile, all the guys in town are trying to win the crush

what is she? yuria from hokuto no ken?!

but the alpha male who wants her comes in on his snowmobile and drives em away

teen notices crush watches his dads channel

also dad is on location dressed as a snow man (cultural appropriation?!) and teen goes to see him as he sleds down a hill fast to early 00s music

he says on the air he knows her fave things and wants her to give him a chance

chevy understands why his son did this as she "gets his blood running"

is that a b0ner ref?

oh and alpha male broke up with crush b4

but now they are riding together on his snowmolbile

he follows and it plays the song "there she goes"

meanwhile girl puts ketchup on her droog played by josh peck and he lays in the stree like a murder victim

mr plow gets out to check on him and steps on his gut, causing pooting

he eats the ketchup o him with fries which i;d like to see reedited as cannibalism

girl tries to take his keys but his bird attaks em

they steal his bird so mr plow catches josh peck

totally now against the law

the 90s were a more innocent time

nowadays they'd suspect him of b0ning the kid

later at the sk8ing rink, crush asks alpha male if he knows anythign of her and he don't

to stop the sk8ing rink guy from playing calm music, teens female homie lies to him about an 80s punk graphitiing a bathroom against his fave singer

teen says nice stuff to crush (who's named bonner like shriek if you know what i did last friday the 13th) and alpha male wants revenge on him for caring abotu a girl he says he likes

btw alpha male is played by David Paetkau from flashpoint and aliens vs predator requiem

so mr plow goes to girls home to find her saying he gives kids snowplow rides and its her turn

jposh peck is trying to get her attention but she dont get it as he s-cked at it

girl calls mr plow and black males him into giving them a 2nd snow day

he really care about his bird

i assume its his gf

interspeices romance?

its robotech all over again

wtf iggy pop from the crow 2 was the sk8ing rink guy

later mr plow comes to meet the girl with josh peck chained to his snowplow

i think mad max ripped this off in fury road

also teens female homie asks crush to give him a chance

eventually the bird flies to mr plow as there was nothing keeping it from coming and he goes off

teen dug a whale in the snow for crush as he thinks its her fvae animal

but she likeds zebras

then alpha male and his gang come in on snowmobiles to murder teen

but he loses attention and focus;s on crush and teen escapes on a snowmolime

theres a battle and chase and teen gets away

man this is mad max

oh and theres a subplot of chevy having a rivalry with annother reporter

he goes mental a few times and at an ice carving thing he accidentally busts a huge a55 statue

wtf this as rated 11+ in Norway

candy a55 country!

so girl gives up and her action figures have a stop motion pep talk about their 80s adventures to revive her spirit

why does meltar look like akima from street fighter?

also its got quite good stop motion in here

also teens female homie is into him and smooches him

also chevy exposes his rival as a sham as he knows sh-t about weeather and is just talking out his a55

later teen sees crush at the pool as shes addicted to diving

he tells her hes got mixed feelings about what girl to go with like in Robotech

so then its night and theres 1 street left to plow

but girl stands up to him for doing his job and getting the streets clean

you know, in case an ambulance or firetruck needs to get to the scene

then a horde of kids come out like orcs in lord of the rings and tie him to a sign

he has a monologue and says hes already won as hes already plowed the streets

but the kids jack his plow and are gonna unplow the streets to make another snow day

you know to do that they'd probably cause serious damage to property

the snow is on the road side and side walk and lawns

then they leave him to die in the cold

oh and alpha male attacks teen over the girl

but girl saves him by driving into him and trapping him in snow

in real life that would probably chop him up

btw these kids dont really know how to drive the plow and would probably cause serious damage

then teen goes to the rink to talk to female homie

she dont wanna talk, he falls, and makes her fall by grabbing her legs when she goes to him

in the real version she probably stepped on him in her skates

then narrator gives a speech about how snowdays can change your life and princilpe goes home and gets gang nailed by snowballs

then credits to cheerful 90s music

the end

i liked this

although critics hated it and it got low review scores

its got fun, heart, its mostly clean and rips off mad max

its sorta like the opposite of do the right thing

its set on a snow day instead of the hottest day of the year

its got a good message instead of an angry one

its fun and cheerful and positive

its a good slice of life movie thats just innocent and fun

it isnt long and goes by fast

its got good flow and pacing

sorta like the ten commandments

its enjoyable and doesnt ever drag

for snow day 2 i want it to be about them going around at night and unplowing the roads. but they keep tearing up the area around them. also there are weapons hidden in the plow like flamethrowers and lightening blast cannons. the cops eventually see this and try to stop em. but the kids go for broke and battle em. all to get one more day off school. its also a car battle game like the driving levels in technocop on sega genesis, snes, turbografix16, atari jaguar and gba and you play as either the cops trying to take out the plow and arrest the kids, or the kids trying to unplow the streets.

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