Sunday, May 19, 2019

Looper Review

note; i spel;l ike futyure style
this is my review on looper from the 2010s
its got joseph gordon levuitt from that live action g i joe movie and brice willis from dire hard
so it starts with joe in a field learning the evil language of french
a guy pops into his area and he caps him
he sez in 030 years there is time travel thats banned and its used by crooks
as law breakers are expected to follow the law
in the future its impossible to get rid of a body so they send em to the past to get whacked
hes a time hitman, a looper
the body has silver on it that he exchanges for cash
so the future is cr-ppy and slummy but not as bad as violence jack
he gives his homie a lift as his hover bike like in robotech wont start
also theres psychics now that can make small things float
jow goes to a bar or str-p joint or w/e and has a gf
also they are called loopers cuz if they are alive in 30 years, they get rid of their future self and evidence and send em back with a bunch of gold to get whacked
then i think joe does drugs as the film egts all f'd
next day he wacks another guy and more guys loops get closed(self iced)
btw in x men the 90s cartoon cable sez "when da gov made time trravel illegal, they also kept a few time machines"
reminds me of that
later its night and this guy he nows comes to him for help
he was sent a guy to ice but couldnt cuz he was singing a tune he liked and he knew it was him
theres a powerful new force in the future
the rainmaker
he's super deadly and is closing all the loops
joe lets guy stay in his floor as the forces come for guy
so jow is takes to this place and is told their guns are called blunderbuss's cuz you cant hit anything after 15 years but cant miss less than that\
oh and he seez the boss of the city
is that the guy from dumb and dumber?!
turns out curty bosss saved joe after joe outed their operation and gave him a chance to work for him instead of icing him
like kenichi from violence jack
and sez he can choose between giving up half his stash of silver or his guy who needs him
and if his future self is around in our time it could f things up
city boss wants joe to avoid soviet france cuz hes from the future
he gives up his guy and future guy starts losing fingers and gets words carved in his arm as past scars
he goes to where the words told him to go and they ice him
oh and his legs come off too
they just unexist
his nose too
they mutilated his past self so they would get his future self there
won't that f up the time line?
then again, just going back should f it up
imagine if they were b0ning him and made his future self recall it?
then joe goes to ice another guy but the futrue is late
then bruce willis comes back
he blocks the shot with the gold on his back and throws a gold brick at him to0 stop more shots
then slugs him out and gets away
btw city boss sez "people r like spiders, the little ones you gotta watch out for"
that will come back later
at joes home the guy who came for other guy (he's called blue kid like from violence jack) attacks but joe escapes
then we see the unaltered timeline where joe killed bruce, and lived his life
he went to soviet china and did drugs
then got into crime and turned into bruce willis
he met a black woman and they fell in love
wait, she's asian
i misremembered it
after 30 years the rainmaker attacks and ices his woman
even though the whole point of loopers is that its impossible to get away with killing someone
he busts outta his cuffs and takes out the peoprle about to send him back and goies back uncuffed and the movie retutns to its thing
at night bruce saves joe
i think
i'm not sure as its dark and i;m talking to my gf and editing something
later its day and they meet at a diner
they talk about time and life and possible futures
timelines and burces memories become clear or cloudy the morte of less likley they become and he rememberes what joe does after he does it
so what if joe gets into being b0ned by guys to turn brue gay?
bruce tells joe abotu how the woman who saves him is really good and she bit it after she made a noise when the rainmakers goons came for bruce and one capped her on reflex
in 6 months rainmaker took over everything and executed many
he has a syntethoc jaw and saw his mom getting capped and hes closing loops
bruce got info on him asnd is gonna trerminator him as a kid to save hi future love
joe suggests showing him the picutre and he's avoid her and she'd be safe by not meeting him
just like in thre butterfly effect
bruce don't wanna and they fight
then goons come in and bruce wacks em and they ecsape
joe gets on a hovercycle and drives away
he gets away by a farm and the chick there pulls a gun on him but hes in the cornfriend and she dont see who it is
she iced several hobos and i think the laws on murder are different in that near future
like with the unborn in canada and korrea
blue kid has failed city boss too many times and he busts kid's hand with a hammer
imagine if he did that to his parts?
at night he comes up to her and she shoots but f's up and falls
joe falls and barfs and is having withdrawl from not getting his drugs
her kid helps him
she helps jow and bruce is having trouble remembering his woman
later she wants joe off but he dont wanna go
he has info on a page he got from bruce but she recogiznes it and shoots him in the chest with rock salt
rock warriors! sand blast them!!
he tels her the story and that if bruce ices her kid, the rainmaker wont happen, he wont be sent back and he;d be with his woman
but the kid i innocent now
is this a pro life movie?
bruce then caps a kid on a house who was on the list of peope who might be the rainmaker
is that a ref to king harod?
btw despite brucre killing kids, he's not really the good or bad guy as hes doing it for love yet still taking innocent life
and joe isnt a good guy as he's an a55 hole
btw start wars did this 1st with anakin chopping up jedi kids to save padme in ep 03
so mom tells kid to be carefil of joe and kid is kind and helpful
but kid spends time with joe and is quite smart
kid wants to stop bad things from happening
alaso mom wasnt kids real mom and just looks after him
kids real mom got iced and che wasnt strong enuff to save her
mom reveals to joe shes actually kidds real mom who let her sister on da farm raise him and kid thought she was his mom
double retcon
like psycho 2 and 3
later the kid goes mental and his psychic powers activate and she hides in a safe in the closet
so its like akira?
who was this kids dad?
prosesser x?!
so later kid sez sorry and after dat a man coms by moms farm looking for joe and bruce
kid helps joe escape and hide in tunnels his grandpa made
joe reveals his mom sold him to a gang or something and he escaped on a train but didnt save her as a guy gave him a gun
oh and the film is set in 2044, around the time of rthe 3rd robotech war
and is written and directed by the guy who made star wars 08
then joe b0nes mom and shes revealed to be psychic
she sez when she 1st saw kid after leaving him, he lood at her bad and she abandoned him
but as long as she's alive, he's gonna be looked after
then guy who came by b4 has mom at gunpoint and kid sees
guy points gun at kid, he falls down da stairs and mom gets joe out as kids powers blow the place
oh and bruce got joes memory and saw that kid is the rainmaker
mom sez if she can raise him right and he can conrtrol it, he can be good
also its implied he blew away her sister
joe comforts kid who's coated in the blood of the guy he used his powes on, implying he blew him apart
also now the gang knows where joe is
a kid bluey brings in bruice to city bosses place and bruce gets free and wastes everyone
bad a55
hes like the terminator
years of experience made him superior
blue kid survives somehow and sees the map of the farm
bruce faces joe over if the kid should live and kid blue comes in on a hoverbike
joe shoots the ground to make dust and caps kid blue as he gos by cuz hes a j-rk off
mom drives kid but bruse shoots at em so kid uses his powers to flip the truck
they get out and run to the corn and bruce is after em
mom falls and tells kid to run but bruce gets kid in the face
is just a cut on the cheek
kid uses his powers to go dbz ki power up and lift bruce
mom tells kid she loves him and he calms enuff to stop his floating
she sends kid to the fiends and bruce is gonna ice her standing in front of his path
joe sees the possible future where bruce kills her and kid becomes the rainmakler outta revenge
a circle of hate
so joe ends the circle
and blows a hole in his chest
bruce unexists and kid and mom survuive
that was powerful
i'm kinda choaked up and teary eyed
ultimate love
the end
that was grand
i can see why they got rian johnson to do star wars
yeah evryone hatws the new movies but this was good
its more about the people than the sci fi time travel
i can see his becoming a classic like starship tropers or total recall
its got good themes of love and sacrifice
sorta like a lon chaney film
theres not really a good or bad guy
just sides fighting for what they see as right
sorta like robotech
i liked this
and that ending
nowadays films try to have sequels or always have positive endings
this was its own thing and does it well
plus all the little things that come into effect later
like watching out for little spiders as the kid is kittle but deadly
for looper 2 i want the crimelords to have regained control and are taking out anyone who gets in their way. the kid from the 1st movie is now a teen and has gained more control over his powers. His jaw was damaged and had to be replaced so now he's got a metal jaw and he can use his esp powers to block gunfire and bust through people like spears. he decides to take on the criminals after his friend is turned inside out and left on the sidewalk after crossing the crimelords. also its a 16 bit action game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as the kid and use ur powers to bust through guys with a shield button and a spear button and a jump buton and you fight cyberized guys and people who are mutated with animal dna to become furries.

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