Sunday, May 26, 2019

Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story Review

Note: i spell horse
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
this is my review of Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story from 2005 (the year the transformers moivie is set)
its got kurt russel, dakota fanning and kris kirstofferson
I never saw this before but the actors i like so it could be cool
its directed by the guy who wrote kong skull island and the 2017 power rangers movie
he also acted in witchboard 2 and pumpkinhead 2
so dakota lives on a horseless horsefarm in kentucky
her dad kurt russel works and dont spend much time with da fam
dakota stands in front of his car as she dgoes and he brings her with him
they go to a race track to watch horses
man kurt russel looks like bill murrey
imagine garfield as snake plissken
they chat with a black mexican and work on the horses
then this rich guy named prince something, wait i think he is a prince, wait, its a guy who works for prince to help him get horses to beat his bro
he wants to buy a horse and they watch a race
but da horse they liked trips and splatters into a pile of guts on the floor
it just falls over
it broke its cannon bone which i think star wars did when disney took over, and they gotta put it to sleep
princeman don't care and fires kurt for not liking his tude
he owes kurt 9000 $ but only has 6000$ so kurt gets the horese too
they get home and its raining cuz its more dramatic and kurts dad kris kiristoferdsoncomes by and sez they otta put it to sleep
kurt remembered how kris saved a horse with a broken cannon bone as a kid
kris sed it let da horse walk a few years and he capped it
send that pony to H E Double Equestria
So kris helps
next day they say the horse cant race but might walk one day
but they can use it for breeding
and sell it for 300 000 $
later Dakota feeds the horse long t-rds i mean chocolate popsicles and puts the sticks in the ground
later the other helper sez his story of coming in 5th once and in his 2nd race he got run over by 3 horses and got all f'd
sounds like he should be a cyborg and take horses out for revenge
also he has dreams of falling off da horse but b4 he hits, he wakes up
then dakota feeds the horse anothe t-rdsicle and puts the stick with the dozen or so others
later datkoa chats with kurt about how their farm once was great but now s-cked
he got tired of raising horses for others to win with a kept a few for himself
at school dakia writes a story about a king, his castle and their magic horse
what is this? my little pony?
later a horse dr sez da horse can breed
what kind of b0ning experiments did that dr do to find that out?!
then kurt and dakoma go to see horses that won races
the guy there brings out a midget horse to help with the breeding
then shows them the horse he chose; grand slam
is this a p0rn0?!
but breedr wants 150 000 to breed with it as the usual breeding fee for grand slam is 200 000 $
horse h00kers
later kirs talks about grand slam and i think hes got a thing for him
and gives daokta papers about horse info her dad dont want her to know
and has dakota give him a coffee can with 20 000 $
he dont want it but kris talks him into it
later kurt tels darkonda that the horses name is spanish for dreamer
later kurt needs cash as things r f'd
hes gonna breed it but horse dr sez she's not able to
later mom who's not in most of this film sez kurt gotta spend time withdaoka
but he sez if dakoma wreent there that night he'd have let em ice it
dakota hears and is gonna run away
and is using the horse to ride out on
kurt comes in, horse spooks and runs and he drives after em
kurt drives ahead and gets out and daemoe jumps into his arms
that horse is going to the oven now
fire it up!!
later horse dr sez da horse is healed and there was a horse that had da same damage who won some thing
kurt sez da horse is too fat and had too many popsicles
fat horses?
thats brony
so they try racing it and it comes in 3rd
but after the race hes sold it and dakota gets p-ssed
turns out he didn't wanna but had to so they could enter or something and only 1 other horse got bought
bt dakotas characters name is cale like that wiener in dragoin ball super
so dakota gets whiny about her hosre getting sold and we get  bummer moment
next day kurt has to go to dakolas school for parents night like in degrassi jr high
at it he reads her story about this king whos kingdom got f'd and he got a horse that gave him the hope to go on and find their kingdom restored somehow
that stor6y dont add up
was the kingdom teleported to the top of the mountain where they went?
kurt komes back to damomoko and they reconsile
nexrt day horse is back by spending his coffee money
and kurt gives legal ownership of da hourse to kardoma
then we getta montage of dakoma doing stuff and drinking coffee she made (witch tasted like a55, based on her reactions)
later daomoa decides to run in the breeders cup
so she goes to the comitty but there's an entrance fee of 40 000 $ and another 80 000 $ later
oh and her name is cale crane like Jonathan Crane, the scarecrow, from batman
later da horse gets in the breeders cup
later princeman offers them 20 000 $ for da horse
then 40 000$
as dakota dont wanna, he offers them 100 000 $ and dads job back
she almoist does it but turns it down
but later is gonna drop out
yet the other guy is over his ptsd and is gonna race again and it brings her back
they go to the brother of the prince for cash as they can beat the princes big a55 horse and he consents
at the race the princemans horse freaks out thee horse and it f's its leg
so cuz da odds are 8-0 to 1, kurt bets 250 odd $ on it
so they race and other guy nearly falls out but learns from last time and gets his foot back in the hoop
they win and 257$ at 80 to 1 is 20 000 $
the end
that was pretty good
nice light clean film
good acting and mucus i mean musci i mean sumns i mean music
good simple story and good flow
it doesnt drag and has good pacing
not much to say
i like it
its got hope
sorta like dbz or yugioh
even if it looks lost, as long as there's life, there's hope
for Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story 2 i want the prince who lost the race to em to send his goons to take out the horse who beat em. but dakota gets in the way and gets bown open with a mini bazooka. to save her, the grandpa uses a forbidden ritual he learned in his youth to fuse the wounded horse and whats left of dakota into 1 body. noew she's like a centaur but is waist up from the horses shoulders. she also can communicate with the horse by mind link and they go on a revenge attack to get back at the prince and his goons for trying to wack em. also its a 16 bit action game like strider on snes, sega genesis, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba and you go around stomping goons and people who fear you and try to take you out. also the prince is the game boss and he's a weird humanoid horse creature like bojack horseman but in bad cgi and was created when his dad b0ned a horse in a black ritual and has lightening attacks and can transform 2x into bigger badder formes.

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