Tuesday, May 28, 2019

The Lady Vanishes Review

review; i spell in english but americano engligsh so its better
the lady vanishes
this is my review on the lady vanishes from the 30s
its by alfted yankovich i mean hitchcock and stars a buncha brits i never heard of
I've never seen this b4 and avoided spoilers so everything is a surpirze
it starts with a miniaturte vilage in thre snow and the camera moving around it
at this inn or something at this italiano place the head hotel guy sez stuff in like 8 languages and sez cuz da train is late they gotta egister
threse probably americaco chicks go up with him and these 2 fruity brits chat about little things
they go to getta room and get the maids room after wanted a room with a bath
are they gonna b0ne??
is this the same hotel from the 30s invisible man?
it ooks like it
so they chicks chat about guys and 1 sez she has 0 regrets
later 1 fruity brit uses a phone to find out about cricket in soviet england
at dinner cuz there's too many people, there's no food left
i say they eat one of em
works in hansle and gretle
this geezer chick goes on about her living here for 6 years and goes off
no ragrets complains on a phone about th guest abone her banging around on da floor
headguy goes up and its these ugly people dancing and a snooty guy plasying a flute like ferris bueler who tells headguy to gtfo
so no ragrets pays head guy to shut em up
but flute guy comes in at night to her room and locks himslef in her bathroom and sings to make her pay toe manager restore his room
da next dae thae are leaving and no ragrets is it in the head with something
she leaves on a train and later goes to get some tea with the geezer as brits are too unevolved for pop
she's going to be married at home
i gotta say, i like the late 20s eartly 30s style of this
its got a charming feel
the camera and all
later no ragrets goes to look for the geezer but she's gone and no ones seen her
she meets flute guy who sez the people probably didn't know what she said
they ask around and 1 guy is a brain surgeon like american hero ben carson
they ask around but no one saw the geezer
this is turning twilight zone
remember that one where these guys went up in an experimental aircraft and one by one they were erased from existance?
that scared the h-ll outta me
more than urotsukidoji and violence jack
brain guy says a had hit can make people see things
and its all in her head
later this married couple chats about if one of em was lying or cheeting or something
oh they are talking about the geezer
the wife tells no ragrets she saw geezer
the couple are married to other people
and she said she saw her to avoid a scandle that would finger em as cheeters
no ragters and flute cop find a woman matching geezers clothes description but not her body as this one is german and young
they ask around but the people say the german chick is the one they saw
flutie and no ragters talk about his dad and life nd he comes on to her
she sees where geezer wrote her name on the window b4 but they go through a tunnel and its gone
she freaks out and stops the train
after a 10 min offscreen break, they go on and no ragtres and fluite look in the baggage area and see a moving box
but its got an animal in it
also they foind a poster about an act about a vanishing lady
also they find a trick trunk for magic shows to make someone vanish
they find geezers glasses but a hand comes for em like in a silent film and its a guy who claims to own em
they struggle and roll around on da floor like less 18+ mma
in the fight she busts his head and it cracks open spilling out gooey brains
it just stuns him and they hide him in a box
but they realize he's got the glases and when they look he's gone as its a trick box
they look for brain dr but cant find him
fluite suggests brainy is geezer in disguise
then that german choick was swapped out for geezer
they try to check brainys patietns face but brainy comes in ad stops em saying its just raw flesh under there after an accident
brain dr tells em to have a rink with him but plots with his nun assistant to do something to their drinks
also its implied he's beind something with geezer
at the drinking car they tell brainy smurf about what happened in the lugage van and how da nun is in high heels
better than a bikini like the uncut 3 stooges movie
flutites takes a drink
as dores no ragress
later he tells em he's gonna operate on the patient who is the geezer but hes gonna f it up on purpose
and he drugged their drinks an its gonna knock em out
they black out and brainy leaves but they were faking
they gotta stay awake and keep stimulated
gett9ng a b0ner keeps u up
he hangs out da window and crawls to the patient car
nun there sez she didnt drug em an is on their side
they take off da bandages abnd get her out then go back to their car
brainy xsees em and thinks they still asleep
at the station brany puts geezer in the car but its not her
the ambulance leaves but nun and brainy are on da train
he has nun iced for turning on him and theres a bad geezer with em
they show the geezer to the people in the train and its stopped
the nun is not iced but bound and gagged and a cop comes on
fluitie dont trust him and busts a chair on his head
oh and dr brain and bad geezer are outside in a car
the cops come for him but he holds em off with a gun
but brits hate guns
guns are manly and cool
the cheeting husband hads a gun but is afraid to use it
this guy is all kinds of s-ck
so there's a gunfight and geezer reveals she's really a spy and is gonna make a run for it
she teaches fluitie the song thats a code to a pact between 2 countries
she runs and they run outta ammo
cheeting husband wants to surrender in hopes of being spared
he'd let them b0ne him if they tried
they restart the train and the car chases after em
then cop wakes up and pulls a gun on em
no gartets sez there's only 1 bullet left
nun gets out and changes the tracks switch but gets capped
they get away and look like they gon leave
but get in the same car and make out
they go to da forign office but after b0ning in the car, he';s forgotten the tune
they hear the tune and its geezer who somehow made it there before them on foot through the woods
the end
that was pretty good
good mystery and twists
good balance of not knowing if its in her head or not
good suspence
i liked it
its got that late 20s feel that a lot of european films in the 30s had
its sorta like hitchcock's other films like the lodger or vertigo
ur not sure who's right until its too late
its a well made film and i think publicv domain probably
watch this one
for the lady vanishes 2 i want it to be revealed the geezer is making a pact to have england crush another country who it fears might surpass it and who wants to be the next america. flute guy sees the guys trying to ice her were trying to save their country and the grezer was the bad guy. he tries to take her out but she phases through him and reveals she has ancient tech soviet england has acquired from pacts with daemons and has used it to get to the place they are at b4 him. the girl reveals she has now got psychic powers from the head hit and overcharges an esp blast to obliterate her. but she is gonna reform in a brit daemon pit hidden in england and will make the deal then. so its up to flute guy who ca use his flute to fire sonic burts and the eps girl who gradually recovers her esp after overcharging it to find and destory the daemon pits to keep her from reviving. its also a 16 but game like master of darkness but on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as one or both of em and fight off brits and daemons.

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