Sunday, May 12, 2019

Taken Review

note; I spell unfrench, but better than French
this is my review on taken from 2008 or w/e
its got liam neeson and xander Berkley from candy man 01 and jon gries from napoleon dynamite
its written by the Frenchie who did transporter and directed the 5th elemnt
so leem buys a singing thing for his teen daughters birthday
but at the party his ex woman is kind of a b--ch
mom don't want girl to be a singer and has an expensive party and her step dad gives her a big black horse
later his droogs come by for beer and they say he nearly got em iced by skipping out on a mission to go to her birthday lomg ago
then they need him to bodyuguard some pop bimbo for a concert
nexrt day they bring her in and liem asks her for advice on becoming a singer
singer sez dont be 1
is this like with minmei in robotech?
at da concerty his gurl cals and wants lunch with him tomorrow
later some maniac fans get in and 1 guy pulls a knife
liim beats his a55 and saves her
to thank him, she gives him the number of her voice coach
later girl and ex woman lunches with liim to get consent to let her go to soviet france for a vacation with a friend
liam dont like it but the chicks get b---chy and he consents
also ex woman b--ches at him over how he's foolish to think soviet paris is dangerous
back in the 1800s my grandpa's great grandma was at home in slovenia and some frenchie came in and tried b0ning her
her husband killed the frenchie and threw his body outside
later the frenchies found out and killed him
she later married my grandpa's greatgrandpa and tarted the family lineage
plus theres dominique strauss khan, the SVU Pepe le pew@
that guy who tried b0ning maids
so later liem finds out girl is gonna be following u2 around soviet europe and lied to him to get his consent
shouldn't that negate it and mean ahe cant go?
so she goes to paris with her friend and they meet a frenchie
he gets em to share a taxi and they go to the place her friend and her stay
they are alone there as friends cousin's fam is in soviet madrid
he invites em to a party and calls someone aying "2 girls around 18" and their location
also friend wants to b0ne the frenchie
liem cals but she's rocking out to bad music with friend and she calls him back
she tels him the cousins are in spain
then some guys come in and catch friend
she sees and liem tels her to hide as he sets up recording cr-p
he tels her to tell him what she sees when they catch her and she told him of frenchie
she tells their stats as they catch her and he ells em over da phone if they let his girl go he wont kill em

guy sez good luck and hangs up
leim goes to ex woman and tells him he knows her new man had shell companies and bad deals with soviets
huh, the chick who played chrisrtie in DOA Dead Or Alive is the singer in here
so liems droog scans da tape and finds the guys catch female travewlers and sell em as secks slaves
they have 96 hours to save her
this is why i stay in the 1st world
so liem goes to soviet france to save his girl
the cheetahmen ran off and now the cheetahmen
he listens to the tape over and over
at the place they gor grabbed he crawls around the outer wal and looks around for clues
he trax do3wn frenchie and atacks him as he's about to get into a cab with a blonde
but a bystander tries to stop him so he kicks the guys a55 and drives after frencies
frenchie jumps off a bridge and onto a truck but on the road another truck kills him
one less problem without him!
a high rank frenchie confronts loin over his damage and ilim sez he'd tear down the eifle tower to save his girl
if i had to choose between some 3rd world continent getting nuked or my gf getting iced, i'd let the 3rd world get nuked
later liem asks a guy to translate albanian to english and talks to a h00ker and her p-mp hassles him
heis grabbed by p-mp but puts a tracker on him
this wouldn't happen if we sided with zee kaisesr
he goes to car and translarot tells him what they ar saying
he tells trnaslator to get out and gets an albanian english dicktionary
btw, a white adult straight american male being cool and tough and right and awesome is a breath of fresh air from modern day cr-p
nowadays he'd be the bad guy
so liem goes to this slum and theres junkies or 5kanks there and he sees his girls jacket
the girl with i dot knoew english and liemn beats a guy guy who came at him
then more guys
is this double dragon?
bimmy and jimmy gotta save the chick who was captured
maybe final fight and liem is mike haggar
lien gets out and drives away, knockin over a garbage can on fire, which spreads fire, then blows
theres a car chase and crash and liem is getting the junkie w/o english out
i this like violence jack slumking where kenichi has to save his gf?
in da car chase, 1 guy gets is head taen off by crashing into a bulldozer blade
he aint gonna be in taken 2
or maybe he'd be a brain in a jar like in streets or rage 3
liim hot wires a car and goes somewhere to chat with a guy who sez his wife is in charge of him
women are the more manly frenchies
also he gives medical care to the no english grl
then he goes to meet high rank in da park but only chats by phone
they track his signal and want him brought in
turns out, he was talking in 1 phone to another phone next to a 3rd phone so threy went to the wrong place when they tracked him
dont trust da gov
good advice
later no english wakes up and liem sez shes being filled with medication to counter her drugs
she knows some englidh and sez she got jacket from daughtewr at a party
he goes to where she had party and acts like a gov agent
he meets with the higher ups and sez he's here to negotiate the rate and the guy they dealed with b4 was moved
he tell em off about their being bad guys who take advantage of the counry that took em in
nowadays he'd be made to be the bad guy for dat
he gives em a paper to translate and the guy sez good luck
from this liem recognizes him and sez he talked to him b4
then he fights/wastes em
he looiks for girl but finds friend
shes bit it from drugs
then he tortures the guy with electric shocks to get info
cook him and feed him to his droogs
he sez he sold liims daughter for a lot of cash cuz she was A VIrgin
that money is doing em a lot of good now
in h-ll!!
liem then cooks th guy by turning the power on and leaving
he won't be going woody allen on any little girls now
later liem goes to see high rank guy at his home with his wife and kids
turns out high rank guy is involved in it and he pulls a gun on him
but liem has the bullets somehow and liem caps high rank's woman in the arm
then threatens to waste em both if he lets his kid bite it
nowaday's he'd be seen as the bad guy for this
so after getting the info he slugs out high rank frenchie and goes to the place with head bad guy
he gets in by shoving the frenchie at the door into an elevator and beating him dead
then going onto other floors and taking out more guys
he brings booze to a buyer of girls and tey bring in his girl in a slave outfit
liem pulls a gun on buyer and makes him buy her
they go out to get her but liim is knocked out from behind
btw had she not been a virgin, she'd be f'd dead and drugged up by now
good thing she's not a 5kank like her iced friend
liem sez hes her dad and the head bad guy sez hes a dad too but cares more for business
he leaves and his men try to strangle liam but he breaks out of his bondage and kills em
he then caps head bad guy a few times and gets the info where his girl is b4 finishing him
so liem goes after em in a car and drives off abridge onto their boat
so he takes everyone out and fnds the bad guy holding his girl at knifepoint.
liam takes him out david vs goliath style (head shot) and he brings her home.
then he brings his girl to meet th4e singer he saved at the start
the end
that was cool
bad a55 fights and manliness
i liked hoew the mom and teen were shown to know less than the dad and he fixes things
its like the opposite of modern things
its got an easy to follow plot
and the hero isnt afraid to ice people
its like a stalone or arnold movie
back when heroes had chutzpa
plus it warns of the dangers of going to bad countries
my cousins go to mexico sometimes
yeah most of the time its safe
but every now and then, someone gets it
like russian roulette
which is safe 5/6x
for taken 2 I want it to be a few years later and she's a popular singer but a demented fan comes after her. Turns out, her songs are really lusty and she dresses like a p0rn0 star in music videos and theres a bunch of people so enthralled by her looks, they cant help themselves. And its up to liam to take em on and fight em off at concerts as her bodyguard. also its a 16 bit beat em up on snes, sega genesis and atari jaguar with 1 layer as liem and 1 as his homie.

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