Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Angel and the Badman Review

note; would john wayne spell right? or would he spell manly?
Angel and the Badman
this is my review on Angel and the Badman from 1947
its got john wayne, jim i mean harry carey, bruce cabot from king kong 1, irene rich from captain january and paul hurst from gone with the wind
its directed by james edward grand (t r edwards and vince grant from robotech?) who did hondo, mclintock and the alamo
i've seen it b4 but dont recall everything of it
so it starts with a cowbpy shooting and running away on horse with his homies as credits happen
wait, i think they are after him
his horse f's out and these 2 people offer to help
1 is a chcvk who hes gonna fall in love with
they take him to a phonre or telegraf place and its after hours but they go in
john wayne is quint evans who telegraf guy is afraid of and he blax out
telegraf guy sends his message and sez how bad a55 and manly and cool quint is
oh his name is quirt
like squirtle?
imma call huim jw 4 john wayne
the good guys bring him home to heal him
later jw is full of drugs to dull da surgery pain from bullet removal but not totally out as drugs cant stop john waybe
they give him his gun back (w/o the bullrets like with rebel w/o a cause) and he settles down
later the grl's mom tells her how she met dad
he fell off the barn and she hugged him
like back to the future 01?
after dr takes out his bullet he tels em to get rid of jw
in his sleep he talx about babes he b0ned
he sez he smoked cornsilk as a kid
i assume thats slang for crack
the rents think they otta write his words in case the cops show up for him
its still da dr
dr sez his homies who draws men as animals they resemble would draw jw as a coiled cobra
1st; cobra dont coil
2nd; is he a furry??
3rd; the power rangers and their ninja animals from the movie
later jw wakex up and meets the girl who's nice to him
girl tel;ls jw of the chix he talked about
after jw eats a lot like that fat chick in shallow hal, the girl reveals they arte quakers
she tells him about how hurting others only hurts you
later some guys stop by telegraph guys place and beat him up loking foir info on jw
later girls kid brother is homies with jw and sez a guy told him some guys were looking for jw
girl asks jw about love and he finds out his gun is empty
the bad guys are at the farm and jw sits in the shadows as the guys come in
bad guy leader talks about how he wants to buy some land from jw for 5$ but jw wants 20$
j signs the land to him and he owes jw 15$
you could buy like 3 packs of yugioh for that
they leave and jw wants to go
he gives them money but they dont wanna take it as they were doing the right thing not for cash
jw sez they dont believe in force so he cant force him to take it back
girl is in love with jown wayne like most normal women but he lets her down easy
later jw is still at the farm for some reason and does some farmwork
later he finds theres not much water as the guy above them in land or river or w/e isnt letting em have it
they prayed for the guy but he hasnt turned yet
so jw goes to the water guy and tells him to let some water in
he sez hes quirt evans (like cole evans from power rangers wild force?)
its like in futurama how bender saw how hard it is to be God and the monks were let out of the closet after bender came back
watch that one
its good
also jw rides with water guy and they become homies and he agrees to be more neighborly
water guy comes over to farm and they help him with his boil
just pop it
squeeze it til the pus shoots out
see how far you can sQUIRT it~!!
as he leaves they give him some food
this is like an episode of mr rigers neighborhood or something
and as he leaves he's glad jw made him help as it feels good
later a guy named whistful mclintock according to the captions comes by asking about jw and jw sez hes a marshal or something
oh and quirt was wyatt earps deputy
so mclintock wonders why quiret is is at da farm andthinks its insidious
later they walk by a guy i mean on a horse cart by a guy who quirt knows and he don't wanna seem like a candya55
later at a getogether the guy he knows comes by and invites him to a crime to make cash
but he dont consent
at da get together they give quirt a bible and say nice things of him
good acting by joghn waynw in that scene
he seems surprized like he's never seen human decency
he goes off on horse with some guy and the guy is reading the bible and thinks its cool
spoiler; the bible is pretty hardcore
its not just happy days
theres some pretty dark stuff in there
usually from the bad guys
just like any historical account
look at japan
the sengoku era had many violent battles
tokugawa kills a lotta guys
so later the crime guys attack a convoy of cows
and jw and his homie are up on some rocks
homie sez he dont like capping people and jw and him and a 3rd guy take out the crime guys with sticks while riding horses
its hammer time!
i think some got crushewds under the cows after falling
oh and 1 guy is named hondo
i think these crooks are the bad guys from b4
later jw and homie are with some bimboes or h00kers or w/e  in a casino
casino night zone
john waynes bimbo is a singer in the club in a glittery dress
nothing in this film really makes it to pg
no swearing in skimpy outfits or violence
looney toons is more
jw gets a drink but interrupts 2 guys who are p-ssed at him so they fight
it spreads and the place is busted up
homie gets the bimboes out and jw and homie get beat outta there
they all go to some place and when quirts bimbo jokes about him having a bible, he gets offended and leaves
he goes back to the farm and girl is upset he left
she sez he left cuz he was worried of not being good enough or w/e and they smooch
then marshal mcclintock comes by and asks about the cow thieves
jw sez he was with his homie and the bimboes as alibies and she thinks he likes his bimbo more
she gets bummed but they smooch and its better
later mcclintock sez he figured in using a new rope in hanging jw as he respected him and his chutzpa or w/e
later quirt and girl are in the plants and a flower she has got a wasp on it
jw was gonna crush it but she stopped him cuz she dont like killing
what about the sausages they fed jw b4?
thats donkey meat or w/e
later they driving a horsed carriage and horsemen come shooting at em
if he had a firearm he could defend instead of hoping he can run away
1 guy gets hit off his horse by a branch that was above jw in the carriage
that dont add up
he cariage is higher than the horse
so they crash into a river off a cliff and get away
later jw gets giru home and they get a dr
later dr sez she wont last
jw goes off to waste the guys who attacked em (its the bad guys from b4 with the 5$ and cow thing)
right after he books it she instantly recovers
maybe jw's ki was malreacting to hers?
is this hancock?
so homie goes in da salloon to tell the baddz jw is outside
so jw is gonna have a gunfight but da fam comes by with da goirel and he gives her his gun
the badds are gonna cap him but marshall caps em
marshal sez if he iced em he's have hanged jw
and its only a matter of time til he hangs jw
but jw sez hes now a farmer and rides off with da fam
marshal sez da only guy who carrys a gun needs one
yes cuz if you dont have 1, the thugs kill you are ur dead
the end
that was pretty good
nice, lite, soft, warm
its like mr rogers doing  a john wayne western
ts got good stuff to it and some bada55 moments
but aso good heart
i liked this one
its like the opposite of unforgiven
plus its public domain
watch it on wikipedia or w/e
for Angel and the Badman 2 i want it to be about him working on a farm but ufo's attack the state. the quakers pray them away as they are actuallty space daemons. so quirt gets his gun back and has a priest bless the bullets so he can kill them. no. he uses prayers at them to send them away. its also a platform game like the nes or gameboy ninja turtles 1 game on nes, gameboy, game gear, master system and turbografix 16 where you play as john wayne and instead of using hits or guns, you blast them with holy words which kills them cuz they're evil.

No comments:

Post a Comment