Thursday, June 13, 2019

As You Like It Review

Note: i spell like a55 as shakespere is usually a55
as you like it
this is my review on as you like it from the distant future year (to shakespere) of 1936
it stars Laurence Olivier rom wuthering heights and clash of the titans, sophie stewart from Devil Girl from Mars and felix aylmer from the iron duke and rhodes of africa
its directed by paul czinner and the script was worked on by peter pan creator j m barrie who was aparently still alive in the 30s(i didnt know that(i learned))
and its edited by daviv lean
ive never seen this before but i wanna do this one
also it was on a few dayds ago but i was gonna review the cold light of day so i put it on holde
after credits like paper from the castlevanai or robin hood days, we get some outside skys that look colored
but it turns outits just blue tint film
so a guy called oralnda talks to some geezer about all the cr-p his dad left him
orlando cant take it working for da man but oliver his big bro comes by and orlando gets b--chy over big bro getting the lions share of the inheritance
orlando keepts talking of his dads spirit in him growing stronger
i think hes possessed
after orlando grabs and holds olivers coller (which is assault in soviet new york) he storms off
later cousin oliver meets with the duke (not the g i joe guy0 oh wait, he's talking about the new duke how the past one kciked his a55 to the woods
and this fata55 wants to wrestle with olranda for his love oliver
oliver wants fata55 to ice orlando in a raslin gone wrong
btw oliver is kinda fruity
not sure if its the brittihs or the shakespere
later ceilia meets rosaloind who omma call roz and they talk about boys they crush on
i only know the names as i got the closed captions on and read it
eventually a frenchie comes by and takes em to a carvinal with a fat muscle man (stongfat?!)
after hollywood hulk hogan, this guy aint so big
the girls see olanrado and got the hots for him
ohhhh, strongfat is fata55
so orlando jabbers on about his cr-ppy life and eventually wrtestles fata55
at least its not mma where it looks lik 2 centipedes b0ning
they just grapple standing up
put him in the camel clutch!
so oliando wins and it takes several men to carry fata55 away
so fred who is a big a55 ruler or something finds out olrando is the son of his dead enemy and goes off to j-rk off on the floor
and roz's dad liked orlandos dad
so the chicks give orlandoa necklaces and roz is gay for him
so afetr the chicks go, frenchie tells orlando roz is the kid of the beat duke and the other is the kid of the current duke
i think fred is da duke
not the xbox controller
also orlando is gay for roz
so after more girl talk, duke fred comes in p-ssed at roz for being a traitor or something
ceileia sez if roz is a traiort then so is she cuz they slept in the same bed or something gay
duke dont care and wants roz banished
remember in yugioh zexal how vector executed all his men and did seppuku?
in the dub they said he banished his men and found himself banished
in fact, zexal said banished instead of iced a lot
so celiac and roz run away together in the woods
is this robin hood?!
in da woods, past duke whos new dukes bro leads his merry men in a clean, bug and draft free place without damp soggy a55
they live happy and play music and dont worry about cannibals or robbers or purvurts
are they in a castle? o the woods?
it seems like both
dungeon forest like dexters lab monsters and mazes
so the chix ran away to da woods and new duke thinks olnanda is connected
later geezer warns olanarda thot oliver is gonna ice him
they book it
in da woods, the chixks and their frenchie are b--ching about how walking is hard and frenchy is really fruity
not sure if its the french or the shankesm[oere
btw the backgrounds are sorta german espressionist
later sylvious and some dink walk by as the chicks are there and roz is dressed like a dude like in queen christina
a sheppard sylvio chatted with takes them to past duke who rambles on about some clock cr-p or something
orlando shows up for no reason and wants a swordfight or beybattle or something
but past duke dont wanna fight and lets him have free food
olnaoda is moved by past dukes non a55 holery and is nice
after past duke goes on a long wordy monologue about life
sometime later, new duke is p-ssed at not finding orlanda and takes all olivers property until he finds him
in america that wouldnt happen
we have property rights there
but in soviet england or w/e the h-ll this takes place, humans havent evolved into rights holders
also olinAINGEWo is stabbing innocent virgin trees with his big blade to carve his words of love to roz
imagine if this was a sci fi movie and he carved them onto a lesser alien race?
or if this was england and he carved em onto irishmen?
oh and he writes on paper too his love for roz
its like a devientart post about someones lust for their fave sailor scout or bleach grl
frenchie keeps talking in rhyme and roz keeps smacking him as they laugh
sado masochism
common among the french
sadism was named after famous french author the marquis de sade, best known for his novel, the 120 days of sodom
its like the human centipede in castlevania times
so roz and celia dance and sing and hug and act like lesbians while talking about the love note guy
then reaize its orlando and at some point i think olrando meets oliver but i wasnt paying attentuion
also roz looks like georges future wife from seinfeld
so roz meets orlando and he thinks its a guy
how can he think shes a chick?
is he professer oak?
meets a kid; are you a boy or a girl? also: what's my grandsons name??
I'm not sure hes fit to be a pokemon prof
so they go on for a while about her wanting to cute his love
later frenchie is chatting with some redneck girl and it fades out as he rubbs her hair
i think in the real version they were b0ning
later the chix are waiting for olanda and some guys come by in the background
also roz is not open with her dad about being his kid
to be fair, cross dressing is a good way to hide
look at robotech
lancer was a wanted man so he faked being a female singer
no one would expect it
its like if madonna was really gacy
later synvio sawatari is with redneck and i think it was him b0ning her b4 2
so roz eventually meets olianga and has him call her roz and fakes being a man being a woman
its victor victoria 0!
they role play for like 5 mins about acting out how he'd act around the real roz (which he dont know she is) and they fake marriage and she tests his love for her
i can see robotech doing something like this
eventually he leaves and sez he;d be back at 2;00
so when olinha gets to somewhere he sees a snake crawling over a guy (whuch should be safe as it looks like a constrictor and thus isnt poison and isnt coiling on him) and a lion shows up
there are lions in... where the h-ll is this set!?
i'm pretty sure its somewhere in europe but theres dukes, frenchies and probably brits
i dont recall them saying where it is but if it did i wasnt paying attention
later olinver queen comes by and tells them orlando found his big bro under a snake and he iced a lioness to save him
then goes on saying they patched things up and took em to the past duke but nearly bit it from blood loss from the lioness
roz faints for a bit and i';m having flashbacks to bram stokers dracula
also i think he knows shes a chick
later frenechie chats with redneck girl and her 25 age chubbo bf comes by
i guess it was feenchie who was was b0ning her b4
he holds bf's hand and intimdates him into skipping toewn or he'd ice him
but i think it was a sick joke he was playing
wow, the frenchie is evil
kinda surprized i didnt see it coming
the maquis de sade mk II
i guess the lion story as true as later orlando has an arm sling and survuived the lion
they skipped it and only talked about it later?
cheap a55 dinks!
imagine if they had ben hur and the chariot race was skipped and they only talked about it for a few mins later?
also sylvio and this chick named phoebe are in love
i dont remember her
them and orlando say who they love but roz sez shes in love with no woman
could've fooled me with ur cousin or w/e
its like sailor moon in here!
so roz comes out as a woman like a reverse yellow dancer but less clothes removal and gets married to orlando
then new duke comes in but the new duke has turned good after meeting an old religious man and returned everything he took
well that came outta nowhere
imagine if in batman if at the end of the movie the joker just turned good after meeting harvey bullock offscreen
then we getta epilogue like harry potter and she just jabbers on about nothing
the end
unlike most skhakesepe, i liked this
it was soft, lite, positive and innocent
it went by at a decent speed and a lot happened or felt like it anyway
not sure on a lot of things like where or when it happens but its still pretty good
unlike most shakespere, its not bummer or dark
and the cinematogoraphy is sort of silent style
like a high end late 20s film
before talkies came in and ruined things
like how the 2d games were great but then 3d came in and we got cr-ppy polygon games
look at earthworm jim
but this was pretty good
sort of like a god 2d sega saturn game
so for as you like it 2 i want the fat bf to come back for revenge on the frenchie who theatened him. He;s not big and buff like hulk hogan and has battlescars from fighting lions in the woods. frenchie has chained his gf in his chocolate house and has been overfeeding her to make her so fat she can't walk and she just lays in her ben beimg fed by him and dripping with sweat and grease. also he has the ability to control the lions from learning ki powers and ants to safe her from being his human waterbed. its also a 16bit action game like rastan on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, turbografx-16 and gba and you gotta go through the woods and free all the many chicks he's enfattened to immobility for his fetish. also you fight forest spirits he summons as hes really a daemon who feeds off pain and likes having these female blobs roll over on him and crush him under their tonnage.

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