Monday, July 29, 2019

The imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus Review

note; i spell better than the monky python brits make sense
the imaginarium of doctor parnassus
this is my review of the imaginarium of doctor parnassus
ive never seen this b4 but its made by the monty puython guy who did those cr-ppy awesaome carttomns on it
its got heath lrdger and johnny depp this was heath's last film so i assume its gonna be good
like brandon lee in the crow or orson welles in transformers the movie
i used to call this film "the sodomarium of dr d-ck a55es"
it starts in soviet england and this building transforms into a carnival like thing
a guy on it claiming to be mercury of the gods shows a cr--ppy shiow about dr[arnassus
then some modern day people come in drunk and cause a ruckus
i thought this was the 1800s
drunk throws off the guys and trys to b0ne the gurl but she escapes into this cr-ppy area behhind the area
she beats him up, he falls in sh-t and gets caught by tentacle monsters in this weeird cgi nightmare land
is this how they'd do live action la blue girl with the shkima realm?
he finds a pyramid and huge steps and a guy tells him of a great glory with dr parnassus
but he goes to get a drink, the bar blows and the geezer on the show sez someone won and he lost
the cops come and want him gone and shut him down
later at their show a kid goes in the mirror land and takes out a big cgi balloon
but the freaks drop him back with a magic trick
also i think mercury is gay for the chick in tthis shpw
later geezer sez someones come to collect and the midghet comforts him
also chick wants to escape her life of living with freanks
chick smokes and sez shes gonna be 12
then really 16
both ways is too young to b0ne
and is the same as being 6
she complains about being forced to fake being 12 to geezer
geezeer tells a story about his past centuries ago as hes like 1000 like |Saiilor Mini Moon
in his monk cave with other monks, this guy came in and sealed the other monk's mouths
i think hes the bad guy
a bird poops on bad guy and geezer takes it as a sign
so geezer did something i missed as i was getting my spaghetti and got eternal life but it kinda s-xked
then in the now, the freaks see a guy hanging from a bridge and get him out
they cpr him alive and stuff him in a box and later he wakes up and metts the midget
he dont recall who he is and his cell phone goes off and speaks soviet russuian
they bust his phone and geezer recognizes him as having been sent as he has the tarot card of the hanged man
they give him a long nose mask like a tengu and put him in the show
but geezer is drunk and f's it up
so tengu saves the show by selling cr-p
so later geezer is hung over and bad guy comes back and bets him 1st to get to 5 souls gets the win
and hes got 2 days
later geezer puts a cap and wires on tengu and does a reading to find hias name is tony sheppard
like chris sheppard from student bodies?
then tengu tony wants this music thing from the mercury guy as he sez its his
but mercury keeps dopoing slight of hand to f witgh him
midhget tells geezer chick and mercury have love and hes not pleased
later they do another night show and mercury nearly kidnapps a girl
they gotta book it and use fireworks at the ground to escape
also they crash their cr-pmobile show thing
wasnt this like some weird cgi phantasy thing?
thats what the trailors and adds lead me to believe
but we're over an hour in with adds and only got 1 shot of that
so then we get some flashbacks on geezers issues dealing with bad guy or something
later tony tengu i think nearly smooches da chick but geezer comes in
tony offers suggestions to improve the show for geezer and they do it
it looks and seems kinda clockwork orange
at the show this chick wants to adopt the midget in blackface thinking its a kid
then the adopter goes intio this cgi land like a weird ps2 game and tengu goes in to save her
i think hes played by a different guy in now as they take off his maask and he looks weird
btw its weird seeing cgi with ciolor
i mean its not bold and vivid like dragion's lair but its still miles beyond harry potter and its dead chaercoal pallet
h takes her to a desert and offeres her a choice to go 1 of 2 wasys
1 is a gondala with photos of dead celebs who are "immortal" as people remember em
he starts takes her items and bad guy's face on a big cgi cobra body comes outta the black ooze
she goes on the gondora and tony is ejected from the mirror world
then she comes out on a swing and hives them a blank check
so bad guy is watching and so are soviets who see tony and chase him into da mirror
they speak english in the mirror woeld and chase tony up a ladder
tony sees newspapers of him ssaving the world like bill anmd ted and he breaks the ladder to stoop the sioviets
he walks on it like stilts and trips on a branch, only to land on mercury crossdressing
the soviets get him but hes played by another actor
they say he stole their money and they'll ice him and get a noose
but cross dresser trys to save him but gets his a55 kicked
they start stringing tony tengu up bit a show of brit cops comes in wanting to use their violence for good
but brit cops are candy a55es who cant even have guns
they go to a soviet mom and she blows into fire and i think is a robot like in men in black 1
so tony chex ion mercury but he dont recognize him
tony tells him he accepted a lone and laundered dirty cash through his charity as he needed cash
also during the chase, the sky went black and area endarkened
crossdresser mercury wont tell him how to get to the ladders and leaves through a curtain wall
so bad guy shows up and sez 4 soviets who bit it make em even as they each nead 1 more soul
geezer tells chick he made a devil bargin and his woman bit it giving birth to the 16 year old chick
he let geezer be immortal but any kids he makes would be bad guys at age 16
thats old enough to b0ne in soviet canada
also; why not just pray?
I mean if the devil is real, then so is God.
also theres a new bet and if they get 1 more soul they win so they need to do a show
chick runs away and tony ewants to be the 5th soul
she returns and mercury fights tony over a newspaoer he found about to9ny and tony throws him away and chick goes to the mirror
theyu escape into mirrorland and its a colorful cgi land like a modern sonic game and thry make out til its night
they find a kid by the land and see tonys past as a father or maybe that kid is his gf as celebs like kids often
i think hes played by another actor
they meet da president and i think its FDR
a midget sez he was arrested for selling organs of 3rd world kids to wealthy 1st worlders
tony beats him up and everyone sees so he books it
then the building starts cracking apart and its sorta like distortion world in pokemon platinum
mercury was the midget here i think (not the same midget from b4) and falls off a cliff saying he loves the chick
geezer tells tiony he gives them the oppertunity but its tony fault he f'd it up
tony throwws him down and chick runs in a black void with glass shards
she finds bad guy and sez she deserves h-ll
bad guy dances with her in a glass shard kalidoscope and after she runs he sez hes won
so bad guy gives geezer a chance to get back his girl if her gets some info on occult markings
tony gets to da top of the steps and geezer takes his music thing and f's with it
then hangs himseklf after swallowing it so he wont die
tony cprs him back and gets the item (a pipe)
the guys chasing him string him up and he bites it
then geezer talks to bad guy and bad guy dont know where chick is
years later geezer is roaming the wastelands and looking for her
then hes in the city as a hobo and sees a chick with bells on her leg like his girl
he follows her to a restaurant where shes married with a kid
the midget is there and tells bhim not to see her as he'd freak out the grandkid
also geezer is dr parnassus
later he does a puttet show and bad guy is there
the end
that was kinda good
a bit weird
and the trailers mostly showed parts that were hardly in the film
its got good acting and good twists and good music
it feels like it should be an 1800s set film but its modern
the cgi is not realistic but looks good and the film has good meaning even if i don't fully grasp it
its well made and as heath legder bit it, they had to have like 5 other guys play tony
i think it worked and this film was pretty good
fpr the imaginarium of doctor parnassus 2 i want the daughter to find the geezer and tell her that her daughter is having some kind of supernatural things. turns out, its remnants of the pact of the bad guy from the 1st movie. to save her, the daughter and the geezer need to go to several temples and put on a show to appease the daemons there to get the magic jewels they guard. also its an 8 bit game on nes, master system, tg16 and atari 7800 where it plays like the pokemon contests in pokemon emerald, platinum or white2.

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