Friday, August 23, 2019

Ghostbusters Review

note; i spell beteer than naecro purvurts... probably
ghost busters
this is my rebirew on ghostbusters from 1984
its got bill murry, harold raymis, rick more anus, the chick from aliens, the dad frim that brittany spears movie and the black guy from the crow
i only saw a few eps of the 80s show with garfield as bill murry but liked the 90s gx sequel EXTREME ghost busters
and no i haven\'t seen the 20110s feminist one that everyone hated
i've seen this b4 but it never really made me laugh
i did beat the sega genesis ghost busters game and thsat was pretty good.
so it starts with a haunted library with good non cgi effects
then the ghost busters song by that black guy
then bill murry is testing zener cards withna dink and a blonde and its rigged so the blonde wins by him lying
also he shocks the dink
he does it to test negative reinforcement on esp
btw this happened with magneto in x men 1st class
so bill murry trys to b0ne the chick but dan akroid comes in saying they found a ghost
so harold raymos lplaying the nerd egon meets em at the haunted library and bill mumy asks the librarian is she's nuts
they search the place and find j-zz on the furniture that bill murie collects
hes gonna get pregnant
so they find the ghost and they dont know what to do
they talk to it and it sez shhh
so thhey try attacking it and it transforms and they run
why not pray?
so back at the university egon sez he can trap ghosts indefinently based on his readings
but the dean has kicked em out as they are kinda non scientiffic
like evolution
so they decide to go into private business and morgage dan arkanoids house
they buy a firehouse from a chick who looks liek tim currey
meanwhile, the chick from gorillas in the mist has rick more anus as a dingus who is gay for her
she'd just dump you for a monkey
also the ghost busters have adds on tv for taking out ghosts
or a reverse beetle juice?
in aliens chicks house her eggs start popping and her frigde is a porthole to h-ll
so den ardoind buys a cr-pmobile and the receptionist flirts with egon
so aliens chick comes in and billy murr comes in to try to help her
he wants to b0ne her
her name is dana like that chick from robotech
they all have crazy theroys on why she saw the daemons and look into it as bill murie goes back to her place
btw where's the gorilla?
in the ghost busters by filmation there was a gorilla
bill miria screws around at her place and she sez hes more of a game show host than a scientist
he chex mix the fridge and its fill of juck food
she's gonna get fat
and in the 3rd ghost busters (the pst game) its implied venkman likes fat chicks
so he comes on to her and she send him out
later they get a customer and go to a hotel to de ghost it
you know you could just call a priest and he'd bless it clean for free
i mean if ghosts and daemons are real then that also means the holy stuff is too, right?
thy have nucular blasters on their backs thar shoot proton beams
surprized they allowed that in soviet new york
so they meet slimer whos based on john beliushi as hes a disgusting slob
in the show he's their pet, which is kinda like having the giant bat from castlevania 1 as simon belmonts pet in the kids show
slimer soaks bill moorry in his goo and now hes gonna get double pregnant
so they fight slimer in the ballroom and trash the place
egon sez don't cross the streams or they gonna get nuked
they trap the slimer in the ghost trap with cool 80s effects
billy sez it'll cost em 5000$ or they can release it back into there
then an 80s montage of the gost busters cleaning up the undead of soviet new york
maybe its haunted cuz of all the sin and crime?
also they becime celebs
but unlike the royals of soviet eengland or the kardashian, they actually did something to earn it
then the black guy from the crow who's name i ccant remember joins the team
ernie hudson
i wanted to say eddie redmaybe
so it turns out zool was an ancient pagan god who worked for gozer
then the snooty guy from bio done ciomes in trying to shut down for envoronmental reasons
also more black magic ki or w/e is gathering in soviet new york
at alien iii's chicks place, rayold anus i mean riock more anus is having a party and wants to let her in
but she has a date and turns him down
but then daemons capture her and take her to the shkima realm from la blue girl or w/e
people often say "who's a better joker? jack nicholson or heath ledger?"
but thats like comparing ghostbusters to poultergeist
both are good but both are different things
btw this was directed by the guy who did twins, kindergarden cop, junior and cannibal girls
so at the party, a statue came to life and went after rick more anus and chases him down outside
being new york, the people just let him get eaten
then billy comes to see alien resurrection chick and she's posessed and seductive
she sez shes zool (the ninja of the Nth dimension?) and is in a red dress like the chick from beetle juice
she trys b0ning himbut he dont consent
she floats and makes daemon sounds
maybe you should say a prayer?
meanwhile, rick more anus is trying to find zool and is controlled by something
i think that dogh crawled up his a55
da cops take him to the ghost busters and they examine him
on the way to akliens chicks place, ernie hudson and dan norois talk about how this is going biblical and its a sign of the end times
better go to church and get one last confession out
then biodone guy comes in with a big gov warrent to shut down the ghost trap
the big gov envoronment worker is the bad guy?
that would be reversed today
so they turn it off and all the ghosts escape
big gov ruined new york?
seem,s legit
so biodone has the ghjost bustyers arrested for going against the enviironment as soviet new york goes to H E Double California
in jail egon sez danas building is built just to attract wicked spirits
and its designer was a cult leader who worked for gozer who did black magic to end the world after ww1
that sounds like something that would've actually happened there
so eventually rick more anus makes it to the chick from avatar's place and they b0ne
so the busters are taken to the mayor and biodome guy blames them for what he did
then a priest comes in saying the church wont make any positions on it but they better pray
ernie hudson describing his time as a ghost buster; i've seen sh-t that'll turn you white
me; like... michael jackson??
billy miriesez if the mayor lets him try, he'd save the lives of many voters
you know they'd just turn on you the moment you say anything they disagree withg
mayor mccheeze sides with the ghost bursters and givex em cop support
maybe if they bless the guns it'll affect the ghosts?
they get to the building and the sky goes bklack and lightening and earth quakes f it up
so they walk up the stairs luike in the 8 bit games and at the top is an alter with gorillians in the mist chick and a splatterhouse like area
the building tuens into a gate to h-ll and rick more anus and gaxrxy quest chick get turned into dog creatures
if my kid was a dog i'd sell him to the monkey house and let the monkeys eat him
and not just peter torek
so gozer comes out looking like a hermaphrodite or 80s musician
so it zaps em but stops b4 they fall off the buildsing for some reason
maybe they should say a prayer?
they nucular blast at em but she dodges
then again and she vanishes
then its voice sez to choose how they bite it
whatever they thionk of will come to life and kill em
dan arkanoid accidentally choser the stay puft marshmallow man
it looks pretty good and has good 80s effects
they blast it and it burns but it keeps comming
so egon sez to cross da streams and it'll stiop the gate to the makai real from urotsukidoji
they do it. it blows and stay puft bursts and his white fioamy goo splats on new york
just like all those law and order svu characters
so everyone survives somehow andrick moranus and the alien 4 chick are human agaIN
then they come down and everyone ceklebrates to the credits ans the gjostbusters song
also slimer is out
the end
so that was pretty good
lite fun subtle humor
i didn;t really laugh out loud but thought it was clever and fun
good horror tvpg comedy
it holds up and has cool effects and music
just a feel good movie
for ghostbusters 2 i want it to be the distant future of the 1990s where the ghosts have taken over and new york is a slave camp for the ghosts and daemons that rule it. The stream crossing only stopped the gate breifly and now its fused with new york into a daemon realm. the people are used to breed gjost people or work making ghost items for them. But the ghostbusters are leading a resistance to fight the ghosts like in terminator and use holy weapons blessed to fight them. Its also a 16 bit hack and slash game where you play as bikini and speedo warriors and one is a half ghost who turned good and fight against the ghosts in the blood red sky'ed, seashell architecture meets german expressionism cities and go on missions to free slaves and take out the ghost rulers on sega genesis, snes, gba, tg16 and atari jaguar and the past ghost busters are amputees who lost limbs to ghost fights and make weapons and can be playable in later levels or as a code in the title screen with ghost tech limbs.

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