Sunday, August 11, 2019

She's The Man Review

Note: i spell more ammerivan than candy a55 shakespeare
she's the man
this is my review on She's the man fropm 2905
i meanb 2006
freekin battletech
its based on shakespears play 12th night from the castlevania days
this is set in modern times but its sadly the best version i can review
most are tv movies or from the soviet union or no longer exist or something
its got amanda bynes and i think this was the movie that f'd her up
its also got channing tatus (which sounds like a p0rn0 name or move), david cross and noone else i know
its directed by andy fickman who did whos your daddy, reefer madness (from 2005) and pparental guidance
i saw this b4 but remember a bit of it
so after 2 long a55 logos we get a beach soccer game by teens
so bynes and her bf are in love and he sez shes better at soccer than the other gouys on his team
later da school cut the soccer team as not enough people signed up
so she wannts to join the boys team
coach sez chicks aint as tough as dudes
abnd bf sez he didnt say she was as good as his guys and he cares to not see her get hurt
so she dumps him
1st; look up soccor leg break vids
2nd; just cuz a few girls are better than guys at soccor don't mean all girls are as good
its like when someone sez "birds eat spiders' but some dingus sez "what about the bird eatimng spiders in brazil?!"
thats the exception, not the rule
so amanda gores home and her brothers gf confuses her for brother
also amandas mom wants her to be a southern belle or something for a debutaunt ball
also her bro wants to skip 2 weeks ofd school to go to some stoner a55 music fest
also he tells mom hes with dad and dad hes with mom
so amanda decides to cross dress and impersonate her brother
amd join the soccer team to beat her real school
oh and schjool starts in a few weeks but the soccer games are still up somehow
and tells mom shes gonna be with dad for 2 weeks to learn from a friend to be a debutaunt
so her homie gets her hair anmd make up done and she acts like a cr-ppy guy
overcompensating to be manly
and taTUM is her room mate and plays soccer
his name is duke like the g i joe guy
and she covers haviing tammp0ns as nosebleed stoppers
at soccer try outs she gets 2nd string
also its shower time
but the principle has amanda see her to welcome her
hes kind of a dink
like a soyboy like trudeau or beto o rouke
on the way out amanda bumps into a blonde and likes her shoes
then with the guys 1 sez he made her old bf cry after a game
and asks if amandas sister (amanda ) is hot
and 1 guy likes a blonde i think is the shoes chick
so amanda wants to quit after the guys have enough of her cr-ppy guy attemps so this chick fakes being amandas gf in front of the guys
then another chick fakes being another gf
wait, ex gf
then the bros gf comes after amanda so she keeps blocking her face and tells her off so she dont recognize her
the guys accept amanda
you ever realize this is kind of a springer ep?
my sister faked being me
my sister is better at beuingf me than i am
man, we;re only 30mins in?
this movie is whizzing by but not covering much ground
a lot happened in those 30 mins
so the guys think shes a babe magnet and want her wisdom
in sciemnce class amanda get a babe partner and she likes amandas soft side
amanda sez she dont wanna dissecvt thing andpartner fees her bros poems
later magic channing xxl wants amandas help to get the partnet (who looks like minerva from transformers super god master force) in exchange for helping her master soccer
later this dingus named malcom and his pet spider malvolio are into the partner
malcome? like in super human samurai syber squad?
he wants to dig up some dirt on amanda and later gives partner a missing poster for his spider
also amanda growws closer to partner and partner is crushing on amanda
also amanda tells partner to try to give channing a chance
but channing is nervoius around girls
so amanda helps him by faking being a girl
then malvooliio comes in and freaks em out
candy a55es!
spiders are hot!!
if my son were a spider, he'd be pregnant forever!!
not that humans can have spider kids
or guys can get pregnant
then amanda's mom calls saying they have a carnival to go to
both amanda and bro
and channing has to go
this just turned into a sailor moon episode
remember when mina dated tigers eye and hawks eye on the same day?
at the carnival amanda swaps back from bro mode to real self and sees mom and her ex bf she tells off
also she does the kissing booth and takes the place of partner he wanted and they eventually smooch
kissing booth?!
what about mouth diseases?!
so ex bf comes by and is p-ssed ober him smooching the chick he likes and they fist fight
charge your ki for a stronger attack!
the fight trashes the place and they get booted
when amanda returns to school she sees channing with tammp0ns in his nose from the fight
does that work?
get the mythbusters!
and channing dont wanna talk about amanda to amanda as he thinks amanda is his sister
and amanda is trying to guide him to her
but when amanda covers a lovey thing with "which yu wanna see naked" channing think shes got issues for being always so graphic
not all guys are lusty animals
look at robotech
kind gentle bowie got that alien chick
and friendly max got miria
so after amandas  training with channing the partner flierts with channing to make amanda jealous
amanda calls him on a cellphone but channing is enlustened by the curvy blonde partner
then outside amanda tries to get prtner off channings back but she gets amanda and some nerd to double date em
but nerd cant keep her hands off amanda and amanda books it before they b0ne
also real bro is comming home a 1 day sooner
then amanda does her debutaunt thing and acts like a guy in eating like a slob and being brash
at there she chats wirh partnar as her real self about her liking channing and she really likes amanda as a fake guy
she feels bad about it bit is totally into fake bro
but she really wants fake bro amanda
then bros ex gf comews in aND THey all have a comic fight
charge your ki to do a super move!
later malcome is talking with principle about amanda but princlpe dont think theres anthing wrong
then its night and real bro comes by and partner smooches him
also ex gf gets real bro;s message about comiong back from soviet london england and realizes somethings up
then amanda coomes back and channing saw real bro kissed by partner and think amanfa used him and betrayued him
also malcom and ex gf team up to out amanda as malcom figured out amanda and bro are twins from a year book
oh and bro got kicked outta his last school for skipping
so real bro returns to his room and next day gets sucked into the game
amanda wakes up lare and malcom and ex gf tell principle about amanda
at da game, amandas rents figure out she told each rent she was with the other
then its the big game just like in the 20s film west point
amanda finds bro took her uniform ands bro s-cked at soccer
then princlipe and the bad guys come on and reveal bro is a chick
he proves hes a guy by showing everyone his parts
nowadays this would be too much for the candy a55 generation
principle; nothing to see here! no offence!
that one made me laugh
so bro dumps ex gf and gets benched
so at half time amanda reveals her thing to bro and he reveals he kissed partner
they swap cloths and gets coach to give her another chance by asking
btw she wasnt good enough to be on the team until after getting trainingh from channing
she kicks a55
but duke channing dont trust her and dont pass it to her so it f'd em up
chaning fighrs ex bf and theres a soccer riot
charge your ki for a power move!
after that, amanda sez she loves chaning and reveals shes the chick sister girl
she reveals everything and shows her b00bs to proove shes a chick
both times we didn't see it onscreen
this is sorta like in robotech how lancer was a wanted man so he put on womens clothing and hung about in bars as a fake female singer
pretty clever
imagine if madonna was actually gacy
no one would expect it
so the past school coach sez they goota forfeit as no girls allowed
but new school coach tars up the manuel which somehow negates its rules
old school coach gives up and they play the rest of the game
amanda get a free shot ant the ex gf goalie and with soem rebound kung fu gets it in
they win and amanda's fam starts recovering
bro gets partner and nerd girl gets the black guy and they make out weird
amande sends duke tatum an invite to the debutant thing for her coming out and t night in the garder they reunite
they patch things up and he sez if he knew she was a chick he wouldn't have talked to her as easy
they go out together as a debutant thing and later they play soccer together on the same team
did she change schools?
then credits to that 00s song "move along" or w/e
the end
i liked that
its got good pacing
good speed
good acting and music
it had actual color and not dingy dreary darkness
those early-mid 00s films were pretty good
despite being shakespere its actually a good film
except today people might be too disturbed by the fun comedy as they get offended by everything
which makes it even better
for she's the man 2 i want her to have trouble keeping up with the guys in the team who are developing more manly than her and she might be cut. so she gets into roids and becomes a huge hulking muscle chick like fire venus from the violence jack manga. also she keeps having episodes where she blacks out and wakes up covered in guts. its also an 8 bit dr jekyll and mr hyde like game where you alternate between playing soccer mini games and having beat em up levels where she hulks out more and starts splattering and eating people for more protein on nes, tg16, gameboy, game gear, master system and atari 7800.

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