Saturday, August 3, 2019

Last Night Review

Note: I spell like a reak man. Not a candy a55 canada
last night
this is my review on last night
its got don mckeller from twitch city and like 2 eps of degrassi next gen
I've never seen this b4 but my mom liked it so imma watch and revirw it
it starts with aparently the last night on earth before the apocalypse or something
people are unusuaslly calm
probably because they don't got souls up in soviet canada
but if you go to america, you grow a soul
as having souls is dependant on location
all the stores are empty and sandra oh from that show i never watch is buying booze
while buying cr-p, some punks tip her cr-pmobile over
then the title like a 50s movie
you'd think withthe world about to end people would be riotiong, looting and b0ning everyone.
like florida after the hurricane
or haiti after the earthquake
or section A in violence jack evil town
so don and his fam have christmas or w/e
but its not xmas so they open presents early
his mom goes kinda b--chy over him not wanting to wait and puts booze in her coffee
sandra oh finds her car by a lamp post and its probably been b0ned by teenagers
also the gas company is calling people saying it'll keep the gas flowing til the end
don and fam have dinner talking about how some people went nuts like haiti or florida
but they say not icing people at the end of the world is a sign of values
true, but those words and ideas mean nothing to the moralless
you cant reason with savages
its like trying to reason with a bear
and we all know how grizzly man went
so this chick named lily like the wedding peach girl goes to this guys apartment and they talk
he remembers meeting her but she dont recall him
then they b0ne
but 1st they talk about little things and eat time
so this 12 year old girl wants her ears pierced and is kind of a little b--ch
so eventually don gets home and oh is there and needs a phone so he lets her in
she calls around for her butt buddy or w/e cuz her car got f'd and se needs a ride
don works in a day care and has art by other peoples kids in his place
don sez his mom made them fake christmas and gave em gifts wrapped from their childshood to bring back good memories
don is gonna end the world alone and suggests oh steals a car to get home
so then theres 003 hours left until the end and people outside are cheerful about their end
they've snapped
then the b0ning guy has another chick come by and he tells her his past
he was gonna be a dr
this chick tells him his mom invited him to their prayer meetung to pray for humanity
i think she was his teacher and then they b0ne
while looking for a car to jack, don chats with oh about regular cr-p
he finds 1, busts a window and hotwire it
she met her butt buddy when da gov shut down and was married b4
also shes pregnant with his kid and don dont know how to hotwire
so thry hitch hike
in the apocalypse
thats a recipe for being b0ned dead
so they keep walking and meet a loser who's giving out tickets to his own concert he's finally doing
they want his car but he wont give em it
they go in a place and she sez she and her butt buddy are gonna suicide at midknight
cuz those reporters who say the world ending is ending are never wrong
so they go to b0ning guy's place and the teacher makes dion speak french
why not just scream like an ape?
this is jerry orbach. or in our other official language; ahhh!! ahhhhhhhhh!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! ah! ah! ah! ah!
so b0ning guy wont give them his car as they are anquites
but he gives em it anyway
she goes and b0ning guy thinks don was b0ning oh
once at a yugioh tourney, this guy thought I wasn't a virgin cuz I have a GF. And was confiused when he found out we aren't b0ning
he didn't get the point of liking someone as a love interest and not b0ning em
then acted like me having morals was weird
this is what happens when you watch p0rn0
it turns you into a degenerate
this world is turning into la blue girl
so b0ning guy shows don his lair full of chalk boards of devient actions he wants to do to chicks
its things he's done
wtf don mckeller
you wrote and directed this
arre you a purvo too?!
i mean yeah I joke about b0ning
but i joke about cannibalism and have no interest in doing that
unless its like, a boat in the middle of the ocean
and its just me and a midget who keeps telibg me to pull his finger
but thats when you gotta do it
so don is gonna go home and b0ning guy has a talk with him
get outta there don!
he's probably gonna b0ne you!!
good f--k he actually does!!
i was joking and they actually had that!
don mckeller wrote and direced and acted in a scene where a guy trys b0ning him
and don sez he would b0ne him if he had more time to prepare
looks like its true
b0ning too many women ur not married to can turn you queer
don leaves w/o being b0ned
i cant believe caitlynn ryan nearly married him over joey jeremiah
good think joey beat his a55
so oh is driving and some malcontents swarm her and attack her car
just run em over
a guy nearly b0nes her her anothet guy saves her
maybe this is why the world is ending
all the vice and sin
look at sodom and gomorrah
or noah's flood
or the comming earthquake thats gonna take out soviet california
history repeats
so later this human couple where guy has a gun go to this guys place and then itds 0001 hoirs until the end
we dont see what happens
i think he put the gun up his a55 and gave him a double barreled supossitory
then loser plays piano in a nearly empty arena
so oh returns to don and calls her butt buddy
but there's no answer
she wants to stay til the end with don
she wants him to cap her
but theres an innocent baby in her
thats a double murder
just cuz she wants to not be iced by the end
tis better to die than be killed?
also she got wine despite having a baby in her
why not just microwave a guy's parts?
you wouldn't give booze to a baby
why is it different to give it to it in you?
so don and oh tell each other about their lives
dons girl bit it right b4 they said da world would end
a geezer b--ches about how worrying about kids isnt good as she put 80 years in and its f'd now
so b0ning guy b0nes like his 600th chick and he's running outta juice
also don and oh are ready to headshot each other
did he steal this from mad bull 34?
so time runs out and they smooch instead of cap
then the screen goes white and credits
oh f
bird dog dickens was a sound mixer
he was in degrassi and later arrested for watching p0rn0 of people f--king animals
also; jim butt
a name in the credits
well with all the b0ning this might as well be a p0rn0
huh, this was from 1998
well that wasnt bad
not much happened in it
its a more quiet and mild apocalypse movie
makes sense as its canada and they aint known for being awesome or bada55
i didn't hate it
but there's not muuch there
and it didn't feel like x men 1 or halloween 1 with good build up and release
it just kinda happened without really happening
lotsa ugly people too
its an ok film
buut there's just not much that occurs within its gates
for last night 2 i want it to be revealed that they were wrong about the end of the world and people are disgruntled by it. so disgruntled that they give up on civilization and start b0ning and eating each other in a giant pit in the center of town. this occurs all over the world and the lust and senseleessness cause daemons to summon and start destroying the world and b0nig and eating the people. the good people who stayed sane use holy words to fight the daemons and send them back to H E Double California and go around clearing out the area and icing the people who summoned them. so they don't return. Then in Laat Night 3 its revealed da gov was behind it to take out most of the people to make the world easier to manage and the summoning was their plan the whole time. and the good people go to take em down. also its an upb to 4 player 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as 1 of 4 bada55 bodybuilders including chicks and fight daeons with holy words and people with fists and items.

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