Sleepy Hollow Review

Note: My spelling isnt as inaccurate to the true words as this movie is to the original story

sleepy hollow

this is my revuew on sleepy hollow from 1999(the year the dreamcasrt came out in america and the SDF-1 landed on Macross Island)

its got johnny depp, chrisatnia riccci, michael gogh, casper van dien, the emperor from star wars, chrisstopher lee, martin landau, the bad guy in ferris bueler and chrisatipher walken

its by tim burton and was made FTER he almost did superman 05 with nicholas cage

so it starts with a guy sending a letter and loses his head

then its soviet new york in the distant future year of 1799(the slavery days) and depp wants to examine a body found in the river

but his superiors dont like his modern day meth...ods

his boss christopher lee dont like his maverick ways and sends him to sleepy hollow to look into murders by head loss

depp is ichabod crane and is nothing like him in da book

btw; washington irving wrote this and came up with the name Gotham for new york

and tim burton did batman

its connected!!

so depp gets there and i gotta say; theres like no real color

its got a blue tint but its got that light look to it that 90s films have

its not dark and dingy like the later harry potter films

its got life

depp goes to a place and the guy hes looking for's daughter kartina kisses him and her bf brom dont like it

depp goes over the evidence with dad and i think mr rooney from ferris bueler and its revealed the headless horseman took their heads to h-ll

when alive, the horseman was sent from german princes to fight for soviet england in 1776 but was  a nut played by walken who sharpened his teeth to fangs and went there to chop people up for fun

in 79 he fought soldiers and chopped up em but they took his head wiith his own blade and 20 years later; the woods are haunted

depp thinks its just a real man and not a phantom and is gonna prove it

dat night horseman takes aother head

huh, ichabod crane was a real guy washington irving knew who fought against the brits in 1812

put this on the history channel

nah they are more into kkings of pain and ancient aliens now

in other words; dale gribble from king of the hill

depp figures heads are removed to stop them from IDing the bod but everyone knows who it is

he figures out how the attack went and uses a powder on the neck to fizz and say it was taken in 1 hit

also the blade burned the neck closed but there was no burn damage

h-llfire sword

later the last vic's son wants to help depp avenge his dad but depp dont consent

a guy tells depp there eas anoth guy iced and theres 5 vics 4 graves

depp and vic son  dig up the graves and depp autopsy's one and finds she was pregnant

back in the 1700s we knew the unbon were people

now the commies would say that kid in her wasnt

oh and i saw this b4 but nnot all in 1 start to finish look and its in fullscreen wiht no black bars

then its night and the horseman busts a flaming jack o lantern into depps head and runs off

but its just brom playing a prank

while ko'ed he dreams of his mom in a low cut dress and its like a silent film

later depp chats with katrina "kat" liek in casper and all the fams are connected by blood or marriage

she gives him a book on the spirits (which is not good as you DONT wanna f wiith the supernatural! you wouldn't give an ape a nuke. some things are not meant for man!!) and it was her moms

they walk by her old place and see a bird that egts depp to use this spinny trick otem with a bird on 1 side and a cage on the other to spin it like both images are 1

later depp chats with fata55 who told of the unborn kid and he sez he was worried for the kid when mom told him something but wont tell the babys daddy

then horseman comes in, offs his head, it rolls to depps crotch, horseman sticks it with the blade, and books it

this is aweosme!!

depp now believes and the rest are like; yeah. we told you

then depp recalls his mom floating in air as its like winona rider in edward scissorhands and then depps dad punishes her for using black magic

so depp decides to fight the horseman and chats with vis con about how son heard a dad and boy arguing or something

i wasnt paying attentipn

they find a lair like in a 20s movie and a chick in there who takes depp and sends son out

she chains herself up and mixes potions with headless bat blood and the other her takes over with eyes falling otu and tencalce tounge

also shes a rotted hag

its pretty f'd up and sorta like wiith large marge in pee wees big adventure

after she bits it or w/e (bw the chains and other self was pretty yugioh) depp goes out and finds katrina who he sez uses white magic like naga from slayers

vis co finds this big f'd tree that bleeds when chopped snd is full of heads

its a gate between the realms like in dante's inferno or urotsukidoji

also theres the horsemans bones minus da head there

then horseman poops outta the trees a55 and goes off as depp follows

he gooes to somewoes place and the guys kid hides under da floor as horseman ices the rents, b4 wacking the kid too

this movie is bada55

even the kids get it

brom fights horseman but horseman isnt inro him

depp and brom team up like goku and piccolo but he sneak attackds and shanks dep and throws him with the blade

then cleaves brom in 2 like in freddy vs jason

afer katrina treats depp with her witchcraft, he has a flashback of finding his mom in the iron maiden (bill/ted: excellent) gushing blood

once i saw this on the fench channel and it said G for age rating

argentina rated it 13, japan was 12, spain rated it 13 (like the yugioh movie) and candy a55 france rated it 13

he tells kTRINA his deal and he gave up on the supernatural after his dad iced his mom for practicing the black arts and she's over brom her bf now

so depp decides to look through everyone in sleepy hollow stating with katrinas dad

then rrealizes siomething and goes to see michael gogh who's afraid of something

then they find this fams fortune was gonna go to the unborn kid and the eklers of the town were plotting to do cr-p

now the elders got iced

he reasons it was katrinas dad behind it all to get the guys fortune and jacked the horsemans skull to get it to ice everyone

depp checks with katrina who sez her dad thinks he otta go home and depp freaks out over a spider

vic son checls under da bed and finds an inscription under it meaning someone was casting spells on depp

is this paranormal activity?!

then depp gpoes out and sees a guy b0nig a girl as she cuts her hand and smears blood on him

katrina burtns depps books to protect her dad and she's mad at him fotr something

later the b0ning girl, katrinas step mom, tells depp to not tell her husband

later katrinas dad tells depp to get out b4 everyone turns on him or w/e

latewr the horseman comes and everyone hides in da church as its holy and hes from h e double new york

thr townsfolk use muskets on him but they didnt bless em and they do jack sh-t(jack left town)

katrinas dad spazzes out and caps mr rooney and das horseman throws a spike on a rope to harpoon him and dag him out like a whaler, b4 taking his head

so i think katrina bit it and depp found his faith thinking shes posessed or w/e and behind the horseman and burns her book of spells

so depp leaves tow but chex thr spirit book and finds the spell under his bed was to protect against spirits and goes back

he finds 1 body isnt who he thought it was and step mom was still alive and captures katrina and uses black magic on walkens skull to summon the horseman

she b--ces about being hated for her fam using black magic (GOOD! daenon worshipper!!) and she was a kid who saw walken iced 20 years ago and offred her soul in exchange for bringing back the horseman for her revenge

shr iced katrinas mom, seduced her dad, and wormed her way into into power to get her way, then iced her sister who told depp of the cr-p in the large marge scene

she gets all the family cash when katrina bites it and this was all just about mmoney and revenge by a witchcrafter

depp gets to her base, a windmill, and they lock the horseman out(oh and boy vic son is there)  and they escape the windmill as it blows with the horseman in it

horseman walks off the withmill blowing and looks kinda like batman andv depp and friends book it in a cart  as horseman chases

depp caps horseman but he clings to the cart and falls off, gets dragged and climbs on b4 fighting him

depp unlinks the hprses as cart crashes and is ddrahged by wyld stallions!!!

they get to da tree and stepmom is there and caps depp b4 catching katrina by da hair

depp survives and tackles stepmom and fight her as boy headsmashes her with wood

depp saves katrina by giving him back his head which regrows skin into walken who picks up stepmom and drags her to h-ll through the tree as she splatters like going in a lawnmower

btw her talking to the other world to have a bad guy come back for her was done in dbz with goku, buu and uub

so its a new century and depp, katrina and boy go to soviet new york for more adventures

the end

that was good

good music, feels, acting, style and art

it works and has good charm and gore but not too awful

its bada55 and cool and fun but has good 90s creep

yeah its not like the real story but its not awful

its like a weird remake instaed of a direct adaptation

like sailor moon the anime vs the manga

there's not much swearing outside of H and D words in a literal context

and the witch is the bad guy, which would have her as a victim or hero if made today

i liked it

for sleepy hollow 2 i want ichabod to invensigate slaves mutating into slug like creatures and it turns out the owner is using them for rituals to create the ultimate life form. its also an 8 bit platform game on gameboy, nes, master system, game gear, atari lynx and 7800 and tg16