Saturday, January 25, 2020

The Room Review

note; my spelling fits this movie
the room
this is my review on the room by tommy wiseau from 2003
its called the best bad movie ever and i saw it in  theatres with my rents and met tommy wiseau
y rents hated it and found it weird
i loved it and when i met tommy, i sensed something good
when he high 55'd my finger it felt like a glow of light stayed on it
later he put his arm over my back for a photo and it felt like his arm was made of light
later i watched a bible show and this guy told o an encounter with angels and when he touched 1, its glow stuck to his hand
now we know little to nothing of tommy, but if he were an angel, it would explain a lot
tommy had little to no idea what he was doing when making this and the cast had a lot of issues
watch or read the disaster artist for more about that. its a good stoey
btw; this has b0ning
so it starts with really good music and tommy brins his gf lisa (like the chick from robotech) a sexy red dress
she trys it on and this creepy teen denny comein and loves lisas dress
then tommy and lisa go upstairs to bne with denny in the house
he ges up and joins in a pillow fight and sez he likes to watch em
tommy finally gets it through to him they wanna b0n and he goes to do homewok
then they b0ne to really good love music
also he b0nes her belly button
oncy i haf a dream where i was at school and blew air into pan from dbgt's belly button, then spit in it to get her pregnant
also i dream of 4 foot long centipedes in my 90s home
so after several minutes of b0ning they fall asleep (what about denny?!) and da next day, tommy gets up and we see his milky white a55
after tommy goes to work, lisas mom claudette comes in and they talk about how she dont like tommy anymore
also shes his future wife and supports her and has a good job and he loves her
they never say fiancee ever in here as i assume tommy didnyt know they use that word in america and just translated it
mom sez she otta marry tommy and leaves
then lisa calls tommys best friend mark, named after mark damon from team america, and b--ches about her mom
greg sestero, the talented actor/writer who plays him, and tommy wiseaus best friend, said he imagines marks job as a private dick but tommy never thought about any jorbs for them as on his planet they work for their queen who poops out the eggs they come from
so mark comes to lisas place and she tries to seduce him
btw this seems kinda like the greta garbo movie flesh and the devil from the silent era with a blonde 5kank comming between 2 friends
they smooch and lisa and him seem to b0ne
its hard to tell as he dont take off his shirt and its edited artsy
oop. there goes da shirt
yeah they b0nin
this goes on for a while to love music
after b0ning outside of marriage with his besr friends future wife, he feels bad and they choose to keep it a seccret
then we see tommy go into a flower shop and buy roses, but the shop chick dont recognize tommy despite no one else lo0king like him
then sez hes her fave customer
this makes sense
in bizzarro world
later denny stop by and flirt with lisa, then leave
tommy comes home with roses (which are gsay as they have thorns and give you hiv) and is bummed that his job didnt give him the promotion
he aparently works at da bank i think (maybe itsa a spurm bank) and they are using him
she gives him scotch and vodka (or maybe its apple juice) even though he dont drink
holy cr-p we're like 25 mins in
that felt like nothing
this movie has good flow
btw why do they have booze if he dont drink??
they got blow in the back too??
they gget drunk and laff and she wants to b0ne
we gonna get another bad love scene?
good music btw
its like something from an eaely pokemon movie
oh and we keep seeing lisas t-ts
later lisa is giving tommy a b day party next friday
and her mom is b--ching about some cr-p no one cares off
she menntions being srsly ill and never brings it up again
lisa sez tommy got drunk and hit her
but mom points out that tommy dont dtrink, a hole in her story's a55!!
after they leave, lia's friends come into their pplace to b0ne
but 1st they eat chocolate and try to be sexy
the music makes it seem like a comedy
later lisa and mom come by and sees em fully clothed and they leave
then denny comes by and meets mom cuz he needs sugar and flower
but leaves when he realises he cant b0ne lisa and lisa tells mom tommy was gonna adopt denny cuz he dont got rents
and when denny turned 18 he got denny an apartnment in the building and gave him a set of keys and pays for his school
then the bf comes in and gets his undies he left behind and books it
later denny is on da roof and his drug dealer Chris R (Sabat?!) comes by for his money
denny sez it'll be there in 5 mins and dealer pulls a gun on him for the money denny dont have
dealer is the best actor in here
and he's not an actor
then tommy, mark lisa and mom come up and take him down
tommy and mark take him to the cops and lisa and mom b--ch at him over him being invoolved with a dealer like him
turns out denny bought some drugs off him for cash to pay off stuff
denny gets all whiny and cries and probably wets and poops himself
then its only been 95 secornds, but tommy has brought dealer down sttairs, took him to jail, booked him, came back, went uop da stais, and is back.
ommy comforts him and lisa tells mom not to call da cops
lter its night and lisa calls marky mark and flirts with him
lisa sez she dont care and its not over and she wants him but mark sez not to call back
later tommy is on da room whining about how he didnt hit lisa and sees mark and chats with him about women and love
this is like robotech but werid
mark knew a chick who knew a dozen guys but 1 found out and beat her crippled
tommy laffs
take dat 5kank!!
also; this is calsfornia so she's probably got aids and spread i around
also mark had a gf but they slipt
tommy figgers mark has a secret but wont tell him
then denny comes up and chats with tommy about going to a movie
they throw the football around and denny comes out about how hes gay for lia
is this like those guys who like teens into older chicks like goten and 18?
tommy goes on about how love is good and the world needs more love
he has no issue with other guys finding his woman hot
and he trusts denny and lisa
kinda like i dont mind guys think my plus size gf is hot
also denny has another chick he likes and wants to marry her after graduating
later lisa and the gf of the guy who b0ned in tommys place chat about lisas love life and how shes b0ning the mark
oh and lisa sez tommy hit her
its actually prety good in design and a little more fleshing out would polish it up righht
tommy had some good ideas for this
plus i hear its based on tommys dark past
tommy comes home and gf leaves after he hears gf say  "ur secrets safe with me"
lia wont tell her secret and tommy gets upset at how shes ttearing him a part
its actually kinda well done in a weird way
later in the alley the bbf comes out to tommy anout b0ning in his place and mom seeing his undies
tommy has no issue with people b0ning in his place
then denny comes by and they throw the pigskin around
then mark is there and shoves bf into the trash cans for no reason and carrys him off to feed on
later mom b--ches to lisa about how she wannts tommy to help her homie buy a house and isa sez she dont love tommy
but tommy is listening!!
then they leave after a few mins in there
tommy, seeming like johnny depp s bit, sets up a tape recorder to the phone and hides it under the table
latertimmy chats with his shrink homie peter about lisa cheeting him and they drink clear fluids
he sez confront her but tommy wants to give her a secrond chance
then mark comes in and the music is sad and he sez hes got a gf whos married and he dont wanna say who
tommy tells how he met lisa and then leesuh comes in with denny
probabbly b0ning him too
denny sez lisa needs a wedding gownd as the weediing is a 1 month away and leaves
then peeder comes  to da rooof and mark is on chronic
msybe mark was the one who bought drugs off denny
peder warns mark the drugs are gonna f his brain and mark tries to kill him by nearly throwing him off da roof after peeder figgers out it was lisa marks b0ning
he busts a few things on da roof and admits it and blames llisa for manipulating him
peeder sez to avoid leda and shes a sociopath
later they are in tuxedoes for wedding peach puctures and mark shaved his beard and everyone comments on it like its a big deal
then they play football in da alley in tuxes
later tommy meets mark for coffe and sez hes got a new client at the bank but wont say who
mark presses him for who and timmy asks "hao eez yoor secks laif"?
on the surface it looks like hes a purvo
but if you look deeper he's actuallly playeing a reversal
but its a double play as mark cant tll him and it looks like he might find out
its clever
but done is such a weird unusuall way it takes on a life of its own
then lisa invites mark over and seduces hi as he tries lightly to resist
then they b0e in tommys bed to a romance song
good callback to the 1st (of many) love scenes set in tommys bed
then in the park of soviet california, tommy and mark play football and it shows their friendship of getting along
good juxtaposition of mark betraying him, then being nice
later its gonna be party night and mark comes by to see lisa, who takes off their clothes and almost bones, but gf comes by and jokes about their relationship
mark goes and they chat about guys and how she needs more than tommy and if mark isnt enuff, she'd look for another guy
this is how aids happpens
then they pillow fight and probably b0ne but it cuts to tommy and mark running in da park
they aparently run from the park, where their cars are, to the apartment, then drive back and its night
then day, and lisa tells mom about how shes gay for mark and mom tells her to mary tommy for cash and lsa wants to be happy
mom sez she didnt wwanna marry lisas dad and gones on a bit b4 leaving
tommy walks around san fran sicko for a few hourss and when he gets back its night and they have da party
at the party tommy has what seems like booze despite not drinking and the bf/gf feed each other as i guess they got a food fetish(and not like that german cannibal)
lisa has everyone go out for fresgh air and tries to seduce and b0ne mark with everuyone outside the door
then a  guy whos supposed to be peter but hisvactor quit so they gave his lines to another guy never introduced or refered to by name, comes in, sees em and confronts em about it
tommy comes in, says a few words, then goes out.
then later tommy announces lisa is pregnant (but she had booze a few mins ago!!) and her friends say too be honest with tommy
lisa reveals to them she made up the baby but plans to get pregnant later and only cares of herself and her wants
not peter sez its gonna f up their relatiionship and friends if she ruins tommy and she dont care cuz shes the bad guy
good point about how cruelty ripples out and damages others, like stones thrown in a pond. or the quantum surge in beast wars season 2
mark asks if hes the father and she slaps him cuz shes a b--ch
one thing leads to another and tommy fights mark
later lisa is dancing close to mark and tommy confronts them
tey fight again, then a few words, then fights, then words, then fights
tommy is fed up with this world annd everybody betray him so he goes upstairs and hides in the bathroom
later i think its day as theres light in the window and mom tells lisa to fix things with him, then leaves
tommy tells off lisa for being a b--ch and lisa calls mark on da fone saying she loves mark and mark tells her to duump tommy and he wants her
tommy gets the cassette and plays it with their phone call on it as lisa packs up coldly
tommy cant take it and tells her off for betraying him after he was so nice to her
she b--ches about how he's not as good as he thinks and leaves him
tommy recalls his time with her, cant take it, snaps, and busts up the place
1 part has the picture leaning on the camera
when i 1st saw it i tjought; that looks like its on the camera, but a real movie woulsnt have that kinda mistake
also; good camera work of the mirror busting showing his reflection as it busts
good metaphor for his destruction
he rips her dress he gave her, pulls out a gun, and eats it
but its not graphic and only shows his slo mo head flying back
later mark and lisa come in and find him and feel bad foer ruinibg him
btw the whole; loved one destroys him on his b day was a thing on east of eden, by james dean
but tommy is better than dean
dean is kinda malcontent
mark finally sees lisa is bad and tells er; as far as hes concerned, she can drop off the face of the earth, thats a promise
oh and denny shows up and calls him tommy, freaks out, and tells lisa and mark to "leave us!!" while saying 'why?!"
good showing of how suicide ruins those who love us
oh and him biting it and maark being freed from lisas spell is like that garbo movie
then sirens ring as the cops come for some reason
the end
that was quite the movie
its not really a "movie" movie
its an experience
its like going to toon tow in roger rabbbit as everything has its own rules
tommys not like other guys. He's more than a man. You know how most guys get up, and go downstairs, and eat breakfast? Tommy ain't like that. He IS Breakfast!!
if you ignore the plot holes and bad acting, its actually a well idead movie
sorta like john steinbeck or tennessee williams with its dark ending and characcter relations
but its full of quotes and odd scenes that make it beyond that
the music is really honestly good and it being in here is sorta like the Cheetah Men song to some
its entertaining, has good camera, light, color and music, and has a good idea for a film
sort of a weird throwback to  50s cinema based on plays
i can see why he tried to get it nominated fo an oscar
its like an oscar film, but a bit unusual
it has good flow and pacing and isnt boring or awful
yeah tommy has a weird, shatner/walken style of acting, but it works
plus the other aactors tried and did the best they could with the dialogue choices
its a weird trip but its got heart and soul
i liked this and tommy is a great guy
he and weird al are the only normal guys in california, as they never had any weird scandles
in the original script, tommy wanted to add a flying car and have  him be a vampire
sounds right
For The Room 2 I want Denny to use the black magic he was studying in college to try to revive tommy. But he comes back as a vampire and feeds on Denny until he's al shrivelled up like a deflated balloon. He's still alive and understands Tommy needs blood and spends the rst of the movie all shrivelled up looking like chewed gum. Also Tommy goes out at night taking out people who he sees as doing evil like drug dealers and gang members. Evetually re finds Lisa with Mark as her secks slave chained up in her bedroom and force fed steroids to be big and buff like He Man or Hulk Hogan for Lisa' fetishes. And Tomy has to take Lisa down by beating through roided up Greg and free her from her enslavement by using his vampire powers. Its also a Gamecube, Xbox, PS2 and Dreamcast game where you play as Tommy and go around fighting crime and drinking from guys but sometimes eating their left hands as punishment for their crimes.

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