Thursday, June 25, 2020

D.O.A. Review

Note: I spell bad. but its all in good fun
this is my revirew on D.O.A. from 1950 (When America knrew commies were the bad guys)
its directed by Rudolph Mate and stars mo one i know of
it starts with a title and credits of this guy walking to the homocide division
btw this is NOTTTT the Playstation game with those curvy blondes jiggling and fighting in skimpy outfits and playing beach volleyball
in there he reports a murder and says its in soviet san fran sicko last night and hes the vic
hes frank bigelow (Like deuce bigelow?) and he tells his storyof working in some place by palm spring(Like rose palmer from urotsukidoji?)
hes going out of town snd his blonde is b--chy about him going to san fran sodom to totally not be b0ned by guys
they make uop and go to a  place to eat
btw this is proper full screen and in good b/w
she wants to go with him and he sez he cares for her and she sez he had a bad experience and he dont want her to get hurt
he coins the juebox and she sez she dont like it but he needs to go to san fran aids
spoiler; nowadays its full of junkies and poop on the ground
stay out of that sh-t hole!!
so he gets there and gets a book advising how to have fun in san fran sisko
i keep tginking innuendo from this even though i know its b4 they got turned
he calls his blonde gf and chex out chix walking by and she sez a guy callled for him
she sez theres nothing he can do too make her feel guilty about
permissoon to gay out? granted!!
he goes to another room and this guy there is having a party and the people jerk around to fake dancing
so they eventually go to some jazz place with a guy on a saxaphone and another on piano (dana from robotech: this is your chance to play jazz piano!) and its pretty good and livley
better than the cr-p we got today like that song in the car commerrcial
imma suck for you!
that makes me think of the AVGN line: I'm just a sucker for dick tracy! A sucker for dick!?
at the club is another blonde who likes black music and has a convertable and has a mink coat but never brings a guy
he goes to gher and asks someone to bring his glass but its not his and he tells by da taste
remember in degrasssi where darcy left her drink unattended at a party and it was drugged and she got f'd?
this is san fransisco!
he's gonna get butt hammered!!
so he goes backk to his room and the next day wakes up and the waiter brings him aa drink buut he dont trust it
he's not feeling well and goes out on a cabel car  and across this escape from the city level and gets cheekked out by a dr
hes noot feeling well and blames the drinks and dr sez he seems well
then dr and a gguy comes in and sez he's been poisoned and theres no help
he's f'd
he coul;d pray it away for use pressure points
hes got a day or 2 weex or w/e
he's already dead
He freaks out and books it and goes to another dr who sez  he's got tthe poison
good for getting a 2nd opinion
this is seeming like sunset blvd and double indemnity where the guy is telling his story at the start but is already dead
he sez he's had it in him for 12 hours and its too late to clean out his guts
dr 2 sez he's been murdered and calls da cops and main guy runs through the city
escape from da city!
btw, this is a ggood reason not to go out to bars
imagine a modern vver where someone j-rked off in his drink and gave him aids and he was rotting?
so he calls his blonde and dont get out the words to say hes going to h-ll and she sez the guy who wanted to see him bit it yeaterday and he goes off to soviet los angelas to the guys company
he asks the guys woman why iced guy wanted to see him and she dont know
he goes off and tells gf he's comming home soemtime soon and she sez iced guy signed a bill of sale for this guy 6 months ago
this is like a video game where you get help from a character and go to certain places to collect stuff
he goes back to wife and this reynolds guy (Like mike reynolds from robootech/power rangers?) wasinvolved and she sez it went missing but he realizes she knew there was a bill of sale
he goes to iced guys company and his secritary wont telll him who was involved but eventually sez it was a model wjo was homies with iced guy
oh and iced guyt jumped out a window
he goes to models place and she sez she dont know reynolds and shes revealed shes not seeing ryonolds anymore and is going to buenos ares which was nuked in star ship troopers by a meteor
he  goes to another pplace and these guys say reynolds is actually raymond rakuvian or some weird foreign thing
then he gets into a gunfight with some guys at a factory like in robocop 1
oh and the bill of sale was forr stolen iridium
i wasnt paying attention for a bit but he tallks to some guy and goes back to his room anndsome gangsters got him
they beat on him and gf calls and he tells her to takke her 2200$ out of da bank andbuy that couch she wanted
sje thinks hes drunk and he tells her he loves her and is sorry for going out
thhe ggangsters take him out and say iff he looks at anyone weird or givess any signals they'd ice him
they bring him to their bosss wjo has the model wiith em and main guy sez boss and raynolds arre in it to swundle iced guy oor something
alls main gu has a tummy ache from the poison rotting him
boss sez raynolds was his nephew and bit it months ago
it was someone else who used the reynolds name and boss has his goon gangster take main guy out to get wacked like with the queenn and daiana so he dont squeel on his crimes
after a long drive wiith goon savoring how hes gonna b0ne main guy dead, main guy hits da brakes and runs out, tthen after a chase in a store, main guy shoves boxes on goon and escapes as goon caps guys
shouldnt he shov goon into boxrs? not boxes into goon?
so a guy naiils him in the head with a bottle and main guy escapes and gf meetss him on da street annd keeps ttrying to get her to go back
he sez iced guy was wacked like r fk did marilin monroe and she gushes over how she lobves him and he sez he loves her
its kinda moving
so he goes off and coonfronts secritary over being part of it and finds that guy from b4 had dinner with iced guys wooman
hes f'd out and finds she poisoned him and tells him to get help and they can still save em
main guy confornts iced guys woman and is gonna shove her a55 out the window and she reveals  main guy was the only guy who kneew of the bill of sale and that could proove her iiced man didnt suicide
also other poisoned guys bro (guy he met) was b0ning iced guy wife and iced the iced guy
then some guys come out of a car and iced guys woman sez her butt buddy is at the office
main guy goes there after evading da car guys on a bus and gets to the office
he mreets tthe bro and bro pulls a gun and shoots 1st but main  guy dodges it and empties his gun into him
then back in the cops station main guy sez all he did was notorizze a bill of sale and then bites it
the cops say they'd tell the gf and the file for main guy will be Dead On Arrrival!
then it sez D O A we get a text saying the medical facts in this are real
then credits
the end
that was pretty good
if i were paying better attention i'd like it more but its got good 50s norr feel
good acting, writing, style, mood, filming and story
its well made and another off the hero is dead from the start things
i liked it and thought it worked
classic 40s/50s style and mood
its only like 80 mins and is public domain so its free to watch anyway you want
huh, main guy was in hunchback of noter dame in the 30s and the other side of the wind and whuite heat and julius caesar
and blonde was in my favorite martian
i never saw that but remember the 90s movie adds
for D O A 2 i want the gov to take the corpse of main guy and use it for their revival experiments to make a super soldier. they reviive  him and he sees that he's needed to be a ninja to fight the commies and gang members. also his skills and abilitiies are stronger and he has weapons built into his body. its also a n 8 bit ninja game on atari 7800 and lynx, tg16, master system and game geaer, nes and game boy where you play as him and figt through levels in commie states like san fran sodom and sooviet new york and take on unions and their gangstert homies wwho are funded by the ussr.

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