Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Ouija Origin Of Evil Review

note; i speel like a weegee bord
ouija; origin of evil
this is my review on ouikja origein of evil fro 2016 when mazin saga ended on sega)
its directed by Mike Flanagan who did occulus and is a prequel to another ouija movie
i had a oujia board as a teen and when we asked the spirit of the house if he was good or not, he aaid U 6 G
there wrre 6 guys in the house and G is slang for Gay
so the movie starts with some dinks doing a seance even thoruhg t theres stuff in the bible against it and the giost makes contact
btw, the Bible says the dead cant contact us and its probably daemons who contact us in seances
tjios geezer asks if mary cais in pain and forgives him and shes not and she does
geezer believes and daughter sez its a scam
after they leave, it turns out its all fake (like the daiana accident) and the necromancer's kids b--ch about it as they thought the daughter was trying to jew the dad
necromancer sez her kid daughter its not a scam as shes helping people
but lies crom from the devil
she's going deeprer into blackness
latere the little girl is praying to her daddy's soul and asks why mom dont pray
probably cuz she's into the black arts!!
oh and necromomcer sez to pray to The Lord instaed of her dad
btw this is based on a hasbro game and even though they sell it in Toys R Us the Yugioh guys censoted Quija Board into Destiny Board in Bakura's Occult Deck
In Yugioh Bakura uses an Occult Deck. But the Dub just calls it a Dark Deck. Its got things like Ouija Boards, Poltergeists, Naecrophilia, ect.
so these teens play with a ouija board and explain its a game and not real
1 chick worries of spirits but mom comes ina nd they all scream cuz theyy are dumba55 teens
why not do the thing where u drip wax into a water and it tells what ur future husband will be??
or is it done with mixing eggs and seeing the images in it?
btw the 1st ouija movie made a lot of cash but critics sh-t all over it
hnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggg pssssssssssssssssttt
thi one got better reviews and didn't do as well
so necromom taks her home and the next day teen gyal has homies come by and a guy stops by and necromom reads his palm and says she'd ice him for trying anything with her 5kanky teen daughter
at the store later the necromom buys a oiukk=ja board (product placement!! movie based on toys!!)
later at school the little guirl os mocked by otehr kids and this priest tells her the people mock her for being scared of her
in the car ride home little girl sez priest had a wife who bbit it and he later turned prisest
later necromomcer tests the new ouija board and the little girl is able to pick up the answers to the moms questions
i think shes posessed
oh and she has no memory of being posessed
later she goes to the board and it moves on its own and she talks to it
later  the priest says little girl has been learning cursive wruiting (which is USELESS in the year 20XX) and she says its her new friend who helped her
so later mom chats with teen about how kid dont get that their dad bit it from a drunk driver and they might need to sell the house
but little girl kid comes out with a bunch of cash she got from a spot in da wall and sez her dad told  her with da board
they have a ouijja and sez sometimes its hard to hear him and then the thing moves to say YES when she asks if hes here
mom asks where daddy was when she said shes pregenat with theur 1st kid and the board moves to the right answer
she looks through the hand piece and sez she can see them soometimes
mom asks if hes here and the thing moes on is own to yes
you ever see the mo ie witchboard?
i saw ther 1st and some of i think the 3rd and liked it
later teen sez it must be fake somehow and mom sez her mom was a fortune teller into other black magic like tarot cads and cr-p
and maybe it skips generations
later teen and bf are at school and priest talks to her about not b00ning him
also kid is not at school for 4 days in a row and theres no sick note
teen sez kid is helping mom work (as a h00ker?!) we see them having a seance with a woman and little girl answers this chicks question in a mans voice
little girl had a man in her throat?! who did this? woody allen??
later its night and kid asks her tteen sister (named lina like the chick from slayers) to help her with neck pain
they find a hole in the back of her head and a footlong centtipede crawls out
so kidd looks through the hand piece and sees  something move for a sec
she loox in da mirror and this thing grabs her and she bends over backeards and something invisible goes in her large iopen gaping mouth
what kind of movie is this?!
later lina has a dream of her mouth sealing over and wakes up
sort of an opposite of that guy pulling off his face in poultergest
later at school a  kid tries to slingshot the  kid but he  gets forced to aim it att himself and blow his head off(or just his eye, it dont show)
later mom goes on a date with priest and teen lina invites someone over
so the boy lina invited over is glad lina gets to stay and she tries to get him out b4 they b0ne
they smooch with consent (as without consent its the same as butt hammering) and i don't think they b0ned
in the real version they were b0ning
btw  i never saw this b4 or the one this is prequeling
so bf sees kid who tells how it feels to be strangled dead
what is this? the addams family?
so later linas item from dad is damaged and blames kid whosays daddy did it
lina gets b---chy and yells at how its all fake buut mom says kid knows cr-po she had no way of knowing
llina sez; if its really daddy, why would he change kid?
maybe ghosts aint real and its just daemons f--king with ius!!
later kid doont coonsentt to going to some thing and wants to stay home and chat with her undead homies
later lina finds notes written in polish by kid  and shows it to priest
btw this is the 60s after the gov wacked j fk
and polish is a weird language
the words have genders and everrything is wtitten with like 15 letters and 3 vowels
better than soviet russian, with their backwards R's
so priest comes by and they do a READING for priests wife and the board moves and tells him to not hide behind the collor and be happy
also priest sez he needs to talk about linas trouble at school w/o the kid
they go to teens room and priest sez the bible sez to not trust every spirut
then that he thought the name lynn (like from hokuto no ken) andshe read his mind and copied it
then cleared his mind for another qustion and that kid is faking things with wicked cr-pp
i like how the priest is the good guy in here, is smart, cool, and skilled
hes like batman
then linas bf (noy goury or naga)comws by
priest sez the polish nun translated the pliah writings about a guy who's fam was rounded up in da war and dealing with an ocult nazi who did black magic expere=ments
later after da war, he recognized the evil dr who took pole to his home, the home the fam lives in now
he removed their tongues, vocal choeds and sealed their moyths, then the polish writings drtails his murder and being sealed away in the dark wirh daemons that took him over
meanwhile, kid shows bf the basement, a skull shows up and she wastes him
priest sez he called the holy rollers and they are gonna exorccize the place
but the house is hanted and things are listening
so the guys are gonna leave but the bf swings down on a noose and mom tells teen to wait outside
she dont consent and sez spiliting up is stoopid
if the guy there is a priest, why not pray? rebuke the evil!
soo they go in da basement and burn the ouija board WHICH IS THE WORST THING TO DO!! IM SRS! IT KEEPS U FROM SHUTTING THE H-LLGATE!!
so priest goes in and its sorta like that Neo Contra level with dark still veiens and he prays as kid attacks him
then he comes up posessed and  goes at em with a knife but then something happens and hes back in the basement and they seal it i think
then teen is attacked by kid who flies around and then mom comes up andsees kid eating sister and offers herself for the daemon who wants a voice and sez it'll take them all
btw its pretty dark and murky in this and hard to see what, if anything, is going on
laterlina recalls her doll getting its mouth stichted shut and mom wakes uo chained to an alter as kid gets a knife
mom sez she wants to talk to daddy andteen comes in
kid screamss a dsiindel blast at her but she does something offscreen with a hook as daemons grab her
kid sees her daddy but really its her soul as her body is iced
mom gets free and hugs the body but teen sez she had to to stop the voices and sez sorry b4 shanking necromomccer
she was posessed but snaps out of it andmom sez "it wasnt you" and necromom bites it as she sees kid and day and lina spazzes out
then lina is in the nuthouse and the dr sez they can't find where kid is and necromom is iced cuz lina shabked her
she can't recall what happened and sez her mom might know and is taken back to her room where she writes a ouija board in blood and asks her kid sister if shes there(she;s not. she';s in heaven)
then after the credits something about the movie this is a prequel to where lina is a geezer and her neice comes by and credites to 50s music
the end
that had some good stuff
it was hard to see what was happening near the end but had good horror in a mostly clean way
sort of like a weird 60s movie like if kiss of the tarantula wasnt so weird
good efffects and good twists
good warning s against using a weegee bord and the dangers it can cause
its like reefer madness and how it shows the dangers of chronic
the priest was cool and smart and helpful and shown in a positive light and it had fitting music
nothing really wrong with it besides the murky unseable visuals
i thoguht it was good
btw, I don't think this is the best idea for a movie based on a board game
in it the item you buy ends up killing evveryone
what next? a thunder cats thing where lion o jams his actionfigure of himself in his butt and dies?
maybe in thundercats roar!!
although we do get adds for drugs that half the add is just warnings saying it drives you to suicide or rots out your organs, so a feature length game addd where it kills people isn't gonna drive everyone off
for ouija; origin of evil 2 i want the lina chick to be in the 80s and finds the nuthouse has a new director who is practicing black magic rituals to use the crazy people to gain immortality. no one believes her so she much use her denon connection parasited powers to armor up in daemon armor and fight the deforming nuthouse thats looking like ninja gaiden 3 or the last levels in contra games with living buildings. also its a 16 bit action game like phanton 2040 on sega genesis, snes, gba, atari jaguar and tg16 where you play as the chick and fight through weird la blue girl levels of people devoolved by the rituals and platform around them wuth extendable limbs.

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