Friday, June 12, 2020

Project X Review

notte; i spell chimpus
project x
this is my review on project x from 1987 (my birth year)
its got matghew broadrick, heelen hunt and no one else i know
i saw it b4 years ago but dont recall much
so it starts with text saying the armed forces tested the limits of human endurance on stuff for helping humans and this is inspired by it
so can we put it on the history chasnnel?
then its sovirt africa anf animas are in the wild
its not the congo as theres no Mokele-mbembe
this chimp is with its kid, the screen goes black asnd we hear a ggunshot
harambe no!!
btw, what if the same guy who did harammbe also did j fk?
maybe he was sent bacvk in time soon
so then in this slum they play the song shock the monkey and this guy buys a chimp
btw, chimps are vicious and dangerous
thry kill people and those who survive are mutilsated or crippled fir life
we wiped out better species. we can do these
so this chimp goes to the university of wisconsion and is being taught cr-p but it chimps oout
eventually it learnms sign languale (did congo rip this off??) and wants to fly
btw i;d like to point out that the whole "chimps learning sign language" is cr-p as they didn't grasop the concept of lamguage
they figured out "if i make this sign, i might get the cat so i can b0ne it(this happened)" but didnt get that this symbol means cat and this means yselff.
btw, chimps are really lusty
so later the chick finds out the chimp is being sold and goes mental
chimp is sold to a military bbase and matthew broadrick is there and got in trouble for using a jet to try to seduce a chick
he got f'd out of the air fforce for running a betting pool and gets reassigned to the place chimp went to work with the chimps in an airforce pilot thing
btw; i'm writing this not long after trump announced the space forces of america
so i assume thats gonna happen with space monkeys
also; totally not robotech
a coworrker sez chimps r 7x stronger than humans
me; so if you know martial arys you can cripple em b4 thewy kill you?
so ferris bueler and cowkerer put aa chimp in a video game thing where he simulates flying a plane jet
pretty good graphics for 87
sorta sega 32x
chimp does it and starts spazzing oyut and gets loose
ferris ets him back and later nnick tatopolis is mopping up
did a chimp dump a55 on the flooer between scenes?
are these chimps  housebroken?
in real life they fling their waste
a cowboy guy brings a cjimp named j t like the jacka55 in degrassi next gen to graduate from bovine university
later biloxi blues is smoking and the chimp has a puff as hes a circus chimp
wargames has a moment wiith main chimp nmed virgil (which means the writer is racist or likes in the heat of the night) and later ferris notices an add of tv and gets virgin was doing sign langualge
he talks to virgin and undersands him and takes him out and he shares an apple with another chimp
after boning up on sign language, he gets the base to work more with chimps
so cuz matherw brokeediirk is able to do well, he gets higher clearence and they want virgel to work with the higher cr-p
so leo bloom puts the chimp blue beard (who i guess chopped up his wives like o j anf king henry the 8th) into a simulator and they tell matty to get oout an they nuke the chamber
cooked ape
they try to make this look srs and dramatic
but i once mcrowaved a fruit fly
neither it nor this cimpasaur had a soul
to quote dbz; he was just... a monkey...
mat was behind the shield and is safe but learns the blue bearrd chimp is gonna fly til he bites it
after a shower like in ferris bueler, he gets b--chy to co worker about them iciing apes to see how log they last so if WW3 happen, if they can take out the soviets b4 biting it
later virrgin gets out to be wiith his ape gf bbut broaderick is b--chy and angry and makes him do woork like getting on a scale
i should point out that farmers spend more time with cows and chickkens and chop eem up into dinner without getting all disgruntleed like adult simba here
later he hugs his monkey and they try to make it emotional
then itt goes to da ape room, screams and all the apes atart chimping out
so over an hour into this movie,  and broadericke calls main chick and tells her about virgik and she sez apelua is supposed to be in a zoo in hustob
later he tells his superior that he wants to be transfered and superior sez they need this data to ensure humans can survive and he dont enjoy using em but it must be done
btw, if it weren't for testing on animals, we wouldn't have treatment for diabetus
later some high rank guys come by and 1 knew matthews dad from the war
later at a bar, chick comes to the bar broskinger iss at and recognizes his voice from a cross country phone call
he tells her if he is rrevealed foe  talking to her he coouls be charged for treason and she gets b--chy over wasting 3 years trainibg that monkey who's gonna be used to benefit humanity
later they are gonna put the virguil in the microowwave siimulator and borkivker sez he wont let em
evenntually a higher rank guy takes chimpula to the cooker and  matther  butts in b4 they cook him and sez "if we proved the pilots can fight back, whyu cook this chimp?"
then sez that chimnps dont know they are gonna bite it like human do
soo are you saying they are inferior to us?
as in not equel??
they dont listen to this pee on and mstthew goes to  chick (who''s done  pretty much nothing soo far) and she was gonna b--ch to the gov to out this military thing to make us lose the cold war as we dont have enuuff data on how to fight
he sneaks in the base and  a guard catches chick in the car
meanwhile, the cjimps got out by catching a broom to knock over and ggte da keys and are going ape sh-t in the area
superior gets a shock stick and takes em on (even though they can and probably will krip his jaw off) and 1 chhmp fights back and throws him over a deck
if he had a samurai sword he could cut those monsters down
it can slice through 3 guys in 1 swing, it can take out an ape!
so he tjankfully gets out w/o getting mutilated crippled and chick sees vergel trying to bust the glass ceiling
if this ape thats 7x stronger than a hhuman can't, then its probably bullet proof
what if u trained an ape to use ki?
so he comes down and hugs her and the other chips bust up the base and microwave simulator and trigger the nuke
1 ape s in there and gets cooked and no humans were harmed
but the reactor is unable to go down and cant turn off as theres a fire extinguisher jemmed in its a55
inspector gadget 1 gets the chimp in there to unplug the machines butt and the chimp bites it and goes back to h e double africa
the superior tells him to get the chimps back in their cages but glory steals the chimps and gets em over razorwire by using a leather jacket
then jacks a plane and da chimps climb the razor wire fence again but dont get ddanaged as they are really daemons and almost flies offa s cops open fire on them
if those apes get out they could kill dozens
the stop the plane and get out and uses ninja hand  signs to get the chimps to fly a plane off
yeh thats possible
latere they are in florida or w/e and the forces have brought mattrwihe brokitior and chick as they might help em find em and they cant court martial him or the program will be revealed
so what?!
its just minkeys!
we gave them aids!!
also maybe they'd just take him out back and cap him
or arrange a workplace accident
so the heroes see the chimps in the wild and they go off and the movie ends withthem livign in florid and probably killing people who get too close
the end
that was pretty good
mild lite, clean, a bit of swearign and not too dark
it rtries to get us to feel for these lusty murderous apes
is got nice music and they used real chimps instead of guys in suits or cg
i liked it
its got good ness
for project x 2 i want it too bbe from the chimps p o v and to be a 2d animated don bluth style film of these chimps fighting to survive in the florida everglades but have to deal with ggators andd a tribe of skunk apes. its alao got musical numbers and deals with themes of adapting to living in a new home after a move. its also a 16 bit platform game like the lion kking or the jungle book on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba and atari jaguar where you plat as a chhimp and go through jungle leevels and jump on or throw  rocks at or beat on enemyes.

No comments:

Post a Comment