Monday, June 8, 2020

Sully Review

note; my keyboard is spazzing out letlely so theres gonna be typesos
this is my review on sully from 2016 (the year of the malcontent uprising in robotech battlecry and when humans went to Mars in Mazinsaga on Sega Genesis)
its got Tom Hanks, aaron eckhart, jamey sheridan, michael rapaport, and no one else i know
its direted by clint eastwood who i hear is kinda awful to his women and kids and got good reviews and the national transportation saftey board was painted as the bad guys when in real life they werent
its based on an incident when a plane got f'd in soviet new yyork in the 00s
but this time the gov wasnt behind it
so after logos to plane sounds, we get tom cruice hanks flying the plane and its going down
he guides it past buildings and it crahes and everyone bites it
then its just a dream
thats bullsh-t
what is this? final destination?!
so then tom runs in his city at night and no one sticks him up or butt hammers him at knifepoint
after a steamy shower we see this pplane landed in the river and people survived
on degrassi next class; Jonah and grace go fishing and talk about getting to know eachother better so if they b0ne they wont be just strangers. then they make out. I wanna say; he's going to b0ne her in the river! but I screw up and say; he's gonna b0ne her in the liver!
then tom is being grilled by guys and he explains its a forced water landing, not a crash, and tells his reasoning for why he dood it
he has no ragrets and is being investigatesd by jjamey sheriden from law and order criminal intent
and that 2 engines went under from birds going kamikaze on him
he was rested, soober anddregular
latter in a car tom sez the investigators are just doing their job
he  calls his woman and sez hes ok and she has reporters all over her homes a55
they swark tim as he comes out of the car and later its day and the reporters are still sh-tting up their lives
i say just spray em with aids
then tthey rot and devoolve like that guy in robocop
his woman sez he saves eveyone andd hes nervoud about cr-p
later a rreporter sez him lanfding in da river wwas the wrong choice and he nearly iced everyone
imahine the diseases they;;d get from all the fiilth in the hudson
the'd devolve into sloppy messes like that guy in batman beyond
so after walking at night and having an interview, we see what i think is a fleshbavk of young tom as a crop duster in a biplane like iin robotech
then toms grtting make up done and his artist sez thanks for saving her mom
tom looks out a window and sees a plane cradh but its just his mind as he spazzes out
a guy sez hes got a meeting comming up and that 1 engine wasnt fully f'd
in the investagiotr meeting hos copilotsez if tom green followed the rules theyd be in h e double new york
tom sez the engine was f'd out and if they checjk they'd see but the investigators say it was destroyed in the crash
and 20 sumulattions said he would have made it w//o going in da water if he did different cr-p
after da meeting copilot sez he was useleess but tommy wiseau sez he did good haa?
later we see tom on lettermann and later his wooman sez they need a tennent for somee place to keep it
he askees his woman on da fone if the board finds him as the cause of the crash annd how the data sez he diddnt need to go in da river of human waste like dantes inferno
then we see sully at da aire porte and alll this cr-p of then getting ready
these guys arrive late as their flight was canceled and they gotta take this 1 and thry get on after saying its for golf
s they take off eventrually and a swarm of birds nails em and some get eaten in the engines and f'd em
the controll tower gives him advice bbut he goes off radar and a chopper sees hhim going in the hudson bay
so then its night and we see tom ruunning and he rremembers flying a jet over da wasteland like its roobotech battlecry and goes down
later in a bar he meets michael rapaooprt ffrom thewar at home who sez he made a drik after him and is chhummy
tom has a viet nam flash back and then we see a cops  povv of the plane hittig the river phoenix
then we see how da people on da plane dealt with da plane being in da water
so da people float on the inflatable slides and boatws come for them
after everyones off, tom jones gets off da plaine and is boated back
he calls his woman and tells her to watch tv
just like in the mr potato heard show friom da 90s
(noise outside) whats that? one way to find out! (turns on rv)
so after getting dr checked oiut, tom and copilot go to a hotel room
so the whole past several minutes is himn fklashbaccking and hes stikll in the bar and he calls a guy saying he wants to do something and if it prtoves him wrtong hes gonna give up piloting
so his woman calls and sez she only now realizes hthere was 155 guys on da plane and he was 1 of em
it took me 12 yeras to realize the chicken my grandpa lopped the head off when i was 4 was ,lunch that day
so tom goees up to a review thing and sees a simulation of 2 nobodies in a simulator like in robotech ii the sentinels and they are able to land safe by not doing what tom did
another landing in a different place works in the sim 2
tom sez its flawed as the pilots knew what was coommin and had no stress in the choices to make
also the sim pilots had 17 practivce attempts which negates the reason they do it
then they redo the test with a 35 second delay and they crashhed
same with the other aire porte
then they check the jan 15 2009 (the year the zentraedi attacked the sdf 1 ) starts and  data and tom springs into action and figgers out whhat to do
remember in te simpsons how that simpson relative with the simpson gene shoots birds at the airport?
is that a real job?
do you gotta get ur own ammo?
can you keep the birds you bust?
also; we otta have that for moose what go into the roads and cripple and kill epople in car accidents
just have snipers by the road picking emm off
you dont gotta opay em! juts let em keep the moose!
so tim trys to get to airports but realises he's f'd if he do and goes in the river
after the flashback ends tom takes a break
after that, theres a new reopott that sez the left engine was f;d up and the data was wrong saying it could still work
the investig8r sez its all cuz of tom and he sez it was him and his team working together cuz they';re sonic heroes
then credits to pix of the actual event
then survivord (note; they didnt die, none of them sdied! am i a grade school survivor for not biting it in grade school?) saying what seat they were in and how they joined together by a common bond now like in Yugioh
the end
that wasnt so bad
not muxh happpened in it and they reused the same event over and over
its entertaining and mild
sorta like a 50s movie where they can say sh-t
its not fast or hard but it keeps an intewrest
dat commie tom hanks dooes ok in it and fits
not much wrong with this, its just kind of padded to fill 96 mins
for sully 2 i want him to be flyin a plane and goes down on some undiscovered island. turn out; its populated by tropical sasquatch and they se the birds to bring him down. also the 1st thing was done by them with their black magic ki control over lower life formes and they wanted to see if he could land it and now they have his pilot skills to copy his dna and make sasquatch clones of him to fly their biotech fighters to attack the humans. the fighters are living creatures mutated by their black art and can fire lazers and poison stingers. then its years later and sully escapes after he's been kept alive for a fresh source of his pilot dna and makes it back to the humans to warn them of the tropical sasquatch and theres a big sky battle of human ships and biotech ships. also its a 128 bit flying game on gamecube, xbox, ps2 and dreamcast where you play as either the tropical sasquatch forces or the humans and fight in air battles in the 2010s over cities and wastelands.

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