Monday, November 16, 2020

Michel Strogoff Review

 Note: I spell sobiet... NOT!!

Michel Strogff

This is my review on Michel Strogoff from 1926

its based on a book by... uels Verne?! Ok well now i'm interested!

It by frenchiews and ex russians who escaped the ussr and stars Ivan Mosjoukine who i saw in a few thinhs, and Nicolas Koline from Abel Gances Napoleon and no one else I know of

my dad read me the classics illustrated comic in the 90s and i remember a few things

its directed by Victor Tourjansky who did a bucha things i never saw

btw this is in french and i'm watching with subtiles

after opening credits with agoolden tint that i like in 20s films, we see jules verne writing a story of the czars country and the uprising of the tartars

at a party in a place in pre sovietm moscow people dance and czar alex 2 is theere and people love him as the commies didnt spread hate against him like the media and trump

also is general kissoff chatting witrh al and a guy listens to him say the telegraf line is out and asian tribes are taking over

the listeners bumps into a guy anndd thery trade info cards like its japann and bump guy is alcide

later czar and kissoff go in private to tallk about the traitor ivan (who used to br a colonell and escaped prison after a court matrial) joining the bad guys and helping the tartars

so czar needs to ssend an officer to do something

then the tartarts attack the slavs on horseback like a reverse end to birth of a nation

wait, it might be just a phantasy by the czar

so tthey bring in michael strogoff da captain of da gisrd and he has a crazy  look

czar sends him undercover into tatrtar turf to gget to the city that was cut off and with a note saying instructions of the city soldiers to meet with his forces to stop colonel ivan

he tells mickey to memorie the letter and mikey goes off

for 2 days, alcide and listener are on a train and turns out tey are repporters and in another car on da train, mihael is under cover with a fake name and meets a chick who's going to the city he is so she can meet her dad

at the next stop, the passport offie denies her authoization to go to the city and she's bummed until mikey fakes being her brother to get her permission

later they are going by boate and the reporters are there and chick tells mihkhail her dad was deoprted for political reasons but loves his country

after some slavic protoculture and a guyb with a pet bear that drinks booze(thats russia!!), the bear guy is informed the czar has a guy on da boat and is revealed to be on the bad guys side

then thry get to the mountauns in a hhorse cart andtheres a storm and mikhail takes the rains to steer the forses through a wild ride

after stopping and fixing the cart, there is a bear looking for its cubs and chick caps a cub coming for her

the moma bear comes cor her but mihaol shanks it with a big a55 knife like he violence jack

nowadyaas, they;;d make him look bad for this as animals rights are human rights

so they go on and stop at a house in the country or something and bear gguy i think stops by wanting horses and wants the gangs but when mihauil doesnt consent, he whips michail who backs down for the mission

chick wonders why this bada55 who iced a bear queered out from a human and realizes hes the czars guy

meanwhile, the tatrars set uop a camp near another city and the guyb who took the horses comes by and is given control of the troops

he orders men to go north and torch the city and 1 guy who just gave him command is tevealed to be ivan

meanwhile, michail and friends are going by raft and boats atttck and they fight em

michaeil kicks a55 and wastes a bunch of em likes hes james bond or steven segal and escapes into the water

the guys attackong, i think tartars, seem to be about to b0ne thec chick and strogong blackks out in the plants in the wwater and hads a dream where i think is in h-ll as cavemen things torment him abd try to pull him diwwb as he trys to escape thiss cave thing

chick offers him water and shes like a ghost and then he's in the palace dancing with chick and they bow to the 12 foot tall czar ghost before the place catches fire

the bext day he's being treated by a guy who he sees as a lady (dude looks like a lady?!) and he gets freaked out by an owl and his shadow b4 blaccming out

after comming out he gets a horse from the guy and goes to an area by where a battle is gonna happen and stroginsmom lives

the tatrattrs attack and the czars troops are low ammo and theres a big battle with smoke all ovwer like bith of a nation did a decade b4

so mikhail arrives and everyones in h e doble  france and the czars troops are  falling bavk from the tartar sause invading the town

there he seez ivvan the traitor on a horse and  is told who it is by a citizen

at night michael goes to his mmoms home and lookd in a window but recallls the czars advice of avoiding his friends/fam

but she saw him and goes out looking for him annd finds him in a bar but he fakkes not knowing hee despite  her affection ad freak outs over it

1 scuzzy gguy, i think bear guy tells ivan something and micha books it but scuzzmo follows

mocha shaves and ivan confrnts mrs srtogoff but she sez its not her son as she gets it and takes her to the booss (i guess it wasnt ivan)

micha skips townn on a horse and in a mansion base, real ivan grills her but she denies it being her son so he sends her to some place and sends the chick from the bear guy to watch her while in jail

also he puts out an APB for micha as micha hides and rus from the tartarts in the night

also theres wanted posters for michael strogaff with a reward for him all over town

in robotech, when lancer was a wanted man, he faked being a female singer so no one would nail him, as no one expects a wanted man to be out in public.

Imagine if Madonna was actually Gacy or the Zodian Killer?

so sttrogaff ruuns through this mad max wastelannd and gets to a tekegraph and the reporters are there reporting how the czars guys got beat by tartars

but its 10 russian money per work and he rewordsa it

but then the tatrtarz are comming and throe grenades as he sends a message about em

his white horse returns like in g gundam and gets capped and tthey catch reporters and micha

meanwhile, in a tartar camp, the chick finds mrs strogin and they talk about micha loving his mom and bear gurl races ooff after i think she heard it

she ggoes to ivan and sez micha is a prisoner and he goes to da camp

acid reporter (w/e  his name was) shows ivan papers hes a reporter and frenchie and other listener shows his  brittish pappers and they are freed as brits tartarts and frenchies are the bad guys (look how they teamed up against zzee kaizer!!)

ivan ggets mrs strogiff and wants her to expose her son or get tthe whip

she dont comply so she gets the whip but micha saves her, admits to eing the czar guy, and nauils  ivann in da face as payback for b4

they taKE his message and go on toward the city

at the tartar leaders place which looks mongolianoid theres a big celeggbarting and ivan comes by with prisoners being whipped

they are gonna execute michael but instead they use their gods book to choose a random verse and use tthat as punishment

the punishment is eye removal and they use a sword and slice hhim across the face as his eyes split open and the gooo gushes out as he sceeams and vomits in pain!!


really they tie  hom up, heat a blade and his mom kisses on him be they take her off

the hot blade is put up to his face and cooks his eyes

so are  they gonna eatt em now that they're coooked?

also this seems like something teens wouuld do like filinng their teeth or eating tide pods

the tartarts leave annd cchick goes up annd hellps mihaiel as the tartars dance

this seems to have been colored a bit as the clothes have differewnt looks

ivan caps a tartart for some reason aand they go back to dancing b4 marching on da city

at the governors place in that cut off city they hope  troopss arrive soon and wanna set up a special force for defence annd 1 guy in the gov is chicks dad who becomes coommander of deoprtees

later its a  snow storm like in soviet canada annd micha and chick go over the area as he casrrys her when she gets blavked out

they get to the cut off city and, wait, i think its ivsn faking being michael with a letter and wanting to go off and defend da city

later strogan and chick reach a small town and its been f'd by the tartars

micha suggests  she goes on w/o him but she dont wanna

also is a  thing of him looking at a picture of The Savior annd having a Halo on him

at da cut off city, a guy has a note to blow the oil thing at  midknight and ivan throws a torch at this thing and it burns and blows

oh the tartarts put oil in tthe river and he burned it

in the caos, strogfin and nadia (the chick, wait, is this where they got the idea for  nadia the secret of blue water? that had captain nemo and frenchies in it and was in the  turn of the century, so... maybe?) get in the palace cchick sees ivam

he catches her and strogin comes in and ivan remembers the de-eying and pulls a sword but strogin counters

blind kung fu master? msaybe sensing his evil ki?

nah his tears protected his eyes and he can see now

they sword fight with micha having a  dagger and ivan with a blade

ivvan goes for a gun but like in star ship troopers, micha throws a  blade in the guys hand

they mma fight and ovan takes a bite outta michas arm and they battle  on as chick ttruys to break out the door

she goes out and trys to get help but everyones busy with the tartat fight aas the city burns like  in gone with the wind

eventually micha figghts by a broken railing and both fall off like 12 feet and ivan comes  out the door and blacks out and micha walks out busted up and bada55 

she tends his wounds and the  czars guys beat bavk the tartarts with strong fighting as we eastern europesams and bada55 warriors

later a guy tells the governers  theyy cauught a spy but she sez shes michael strogifs bridde

oh its the bear chick

then thry say michael strogif was iced and they caught the killer and its real micha

he reveals its ivan he iced and hes the real micha and prooves it  by reciting the letter by memory and they have bear chick takken out bak andd shot

even the chicks get it? bada55! nowadays she'd bite it trying to ice a guy and it would be self defence

also michel wacking ivam with his bare hands on purpose was something they cant do in modetrn films as its mmade by candya55es

so chick reunites with her dad and back in pre-sovviet moscow, later michel returns annd the czar makkes him a prince and colonel and givves him a kiss  on the forehead

what a nice guy

that warmedd my heart

days latermichael and chick get married andreoporters are there, wait, its the moms home and  they dont go to da wedding as its russian protoculture

then in a church the micha and nadia marry

the end

that was pretty good

i recalled a few things like the bear and the eye stuff but not most of it

goodf for them using real russians instead of casting englishmen and irishmen as slavs and faking it like all those brittish movies did

its got good feel and flow and is like 3 hours long but stiff good

its well made and well acted and well done and the czar is shown as cool

michals actor has those crazy eyes but he works with em

i liked it and i;m glad i learned of it from the classics illustrated comic book

im not a book guy but this was a good movie and the comic was cool

for Michel Strogoff 2 i want the tartatrs to team uo with china and plan an attack to take on russia and michal has to go to japan for a treaty meeting to get japan's  help with the invasion. also its a 16 bit srpg like shining force or fire emblem on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play asd michel and deal with a scheme by an immoral samurai who wants to beray  his people to the gaijin and rule as regent in there.

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