Sunday, May 23, 2021

Jamaica Inn Review

 Note: I sper;ll better than jaMAACIANS


THIS IS MYU REVIEW ON jamacia innfrom 1939

i can some of this weeks ago but dont recalkl much

its directed by alfred hitchcock who''s usaually greatr and based on a novel by Daphne du Maurier i never knew of

it has maureen o hara and no oner else i know of

aftwer wait, its mgot charles laughton, after creditys, ooh, robert newton is in this, after credits to mucis its  got text in a book praying to The Lord to prevent shiprex

then more text saying its 1820 and theres gangs that jack syh-t

this guy rides a horse and the back ground looks kinda german expressionist and he goes to a coast and covers a lamp so the ship don't know its coast and crashes

liker those c-ck suckers who use laser pens on pilots flying planes

then this bunchas malcontents like in mad max or violence jack come over, waste the crew and steal from em

they loot the ship like its a peraceful protest but 1 of em is caught by ther water and bites it

later n1 guy driving a cart sez he ainbt going to janmacia inn as queer things happen there

in the 1800s that sounded different, but today, sounds like they're b0ning

maureen wants to go there and yells as the driver goies past it and she gets out and hoofs itlater these upper crust britmos are having dinner and 1 talks about the reent king gheorge

brritmo has an action figure hes into and this horse comes in

maureen is come there and brit mo is strauight for her and she wants a horsse and to go to jsamacia inn

brit  mo sezshe cant g trhere and she sez shes from soviet ireland and has no one there and an aunt at da inn

brit mo agrees to have her go there

wtf its said this was hitchcocks worst film

so maureen goes to the inn and sez sghes here to live with aunt and uncle ansd this scuzzy guy is kind of an a55 and revealed to be her uncle

shje meets her aunt and maureen sez her mom bit it 3 weeks ago

unclehas his wom,an carry stuff but dont want marenn working cuz she has nice hands

uncl;e tells his droogs to not bbe loud and they wanna b0ne bher

maureen and aunt catch up and the droogs know they are going to h-ll but don't seem to care

so uncle and his droogs talk about how long they were iun the gang and aunt tells him thatt maureen was with brit mo played by laghton

so brritmo goes on about how there were to be no survivors andf i think hes behind the droogs  looting shipss

and i think maureen survived a ship thing

its hard to foollow

so the droogs find 1 of em is selling stuf on the side and when the accused ius gonna out uncle for being in it with others, uncle bists his head with a mug(and not the rootbeer)

huh, tthis was produced by Erich Pommer who did The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari/ Dr. Mabuse, the Gambler /Die Nibelungen /The Last Laugh \Faust and Metropolis 

so brit mo meets ucnle and the droogs are gonna ice the head busted guyt but 1 sez its not kosher to waxck him in his sleep

they string him up aand maureen is watching throught a hole in the thing like in posycho

1 guy seals the dead guys shoe buckles, which come off like they were klept on with gum, and runs but the guys chase him

i assume the buckles are data chiops with ino on his wacking

so maureen saved the guy they strung up and sends him out and when she goes back to his room, uncle is there

this is how p0rtnm0es start

after being creepy, uncle is called down to say the hung guy is gone and aunt sends maureen out to escape

hung guiy pulls her to the roof and they evade some guys feet away and thery book it as uncle rallys the droogs to hunt for her

so britmo is p-sseed at the gurl gmaureen getting away and laster learns of the hunbg guy escaping from uuncle

so maureen andf man escape to tyhe water asrea ocean sea and she tries to use a boat but he stops her

she b--cjhes ast him fort being a theif anf murderer and they are ina cave as the tide is gooing

he sez hes a sailor and can go back to it and the gang has found em amdf is comming down in a rope

1 guy coes down and i think he kills him and 3 guys are comming next

hung guy (wow that sounds wrong) has here take off her dress and shoes and they swim

she cr-ps out but he sdaves hewr a55 and they ecape across a field to britmo's place asking for help

hung guy; imma man, as good ass u! britmo; put that out of your head

me; england and its class system!

this is whuy I'm glad to be American!

wait its not hung guy saying it

so maureen comes to him and sez jamacia inn  ios full of crooks and violence (like the real jamacia??) and he gives her a room

wheres hubn guy?

so britmo gets a note saying hung guy isd a cop and wait, i think the unequal guy is hung guy

so hung guy chats witrh brit mo about the sjhiprwecks and how there no survivors (whichj means no witnesses) and the wreckers are getting into on when and wherev the ships will be

hung guy dont know who the inside guy is and wants to worek with britmo to find it and that the insde man will be there tonight

britmo twists things to send a letter to the inn and fix it so he wont get caught

kinda like t r edwards working with the robotech expeditionary force but against them to have rick iced

maureen overhears brit mo  andhung guyt gets changed

she takes his ride when hes not looking and escapes to the inn

she tells aunt to get out as uncle is a c-ck sucker and that the brit mo is comming for uncle to use as a scape goat

uncle opens da door with a gun and opens it with a kick and its hung guy and brit mo with a gun

britmo se hes gonna search the plasce and hung guy sez he didnt tell marueen as she'd warn her aunt

aunt sez she loves un cle and he cant help who he is andbrit mo warms his a55 by the fire

britmo and hung cop search and uncle wont say who he wolrx for

when cop goes out, brit mo tells umncle his orders and info and sez hes going to gaye olde france latre

later cop returns and sez they got minutes to out the guy b4 he comes

brit mo has a warrent with a blank name to wtrite in the guy and cop truys to get him to conferss

cop goes down andf gets caught by the droogs and uncle brings down birt mo by gunpoint and says they cant ice him as people would sucpect things

coip sez theres a guy comming and the malcontents thrink of how to ice brit mo

brit mo sez if they harm him they'd be wacked

uncle has aunt guard em while they go to wreck a boat and bring maureen

later brit mo takes ofdf his ropes and loards the gun she haz and he knows someone came here and gave uncle the info

briot mo escapes and cop figgers out he's the american spsycho and akss aunt for freedom and says the people on the boat have families too

she dont wanna give up her husband and eventually she lets him out offecteen and he goes off

btw this is in proper full screen and has great b/w looks

at the bech, maureen escapes as the guys are all looking at the oming boat and puts the lamp back for the boat to see theres roicks there

a guy grabs her and she fights him and drops the light but it fallsa on rags and they catch fire and she hooks em to the post like a flaming flag

the boot seez it and turns off and the guy fighting with her brigns her down

1 guy rips her shirt to showe a bit more bust and she sez she dont car e what they do as she's glad shje saved lives

so brit mo is going to soviet franch

later uncle brings maureen backanm dn hes f'd up as he saved her from the guys

i assume as its all offscreen that he b0ned them all deads

if this were made today he'd be covered in blood and sh-t

aunt sez she now who uncle was working for and is j fk'd buyt a bullet b4 she csan finish

then uncle bites it too and birt mo is there with a firearm despite being english

brit mo sez she was goinna tell maureen about himandn he wanted to do it

he tiesd a hanfdchercheif in her mout and ties her up and wants to take her with him

as some kind of butt slave i assume

although she's irish and has the fire in her so she's not gonna be subsertvient to as deviento englishman

so the droogs come back to the inn and fiund uncle iced and the redcoats come in and arrest them

but both red coats and looters are bad guys!

so 1 guy is unvbvle to be handcuffed and they rope his hands as he begs for mercy as he dont wanna be hanged

in a cart, brit mo wants to go around by grease to butt hammer her and cop goes to britmos pplace to arrest him but he's not there

britmo goes on a boat with his slave woman and the cops are coming on horse tro save her like its birth of a nation

in their room she truns a key and he goes on about giving her a "good" life as his butt slave

the cops show up and she escapes through the unlocked door and on the poop deck britmo has her at gunponnt but hung cop saves her and brit mo goes up the ship like a spidfer monkey

he drops his gun and it goos off and i think wacks a guy and seeing no way out, he jumps and hits the deck offscreen

i assume he splattered like that piug in butters clothes in south park

then cop takrs maureen off the boat

the end

that was pretty good

i never saw the book but this film as it is is well done

good gray scale graphics and sorta german expressionistt

well done feel

good acting

you donbt expect laughten to be thje bad guy at 1st but he's usdually palkying em like in captain kidd or henry the 8th

its well made but clean with no gore or nude scenes or swear words

i thought it was a good film and it tells a good story

for jamacia inn 2 i want it to be about maureen getting married to the cop but he has a new mission before the weeding to solve a case about a cannibal who eats peoiple skin and has to find out which brit upper crust high rank guy is it. also its an 8 bit board game like thing on nes, gameboy, SEGA MASTER SYSTEM AND game gear, atari lynx and 7800 and tg16 where you play are the cop and gott afind clues to figure out who is the killer and its different each time you play

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