Tuesday, May 18, 2021

The Bookshop Review

 Notwe I'm not a book guy

ther bookshop

this is my review on the bookshiop from 2017 (20 years after predator 2 and shadow dancer the secret of shinobi)

its directed by Isabel Coixet who did  nothing i saw and is based on a 1978 book

its got bnill nighy and no one else i know of and i never saw this b4 nmore read the book

it got mixed reviews and huh, Emily Mortimer is in it who was in the ghost and the darkness and scream 3

so it starts with som,e chick rambling on about books and after years after her man bit it, she opens a book shop[

she goos too the bank and deals with red tape in soviet england in 19550s england

after that she hel;ps a sailor or fishing guy with his rope and he sez he dont rerad

i used to read but nowe i'm more into manga and wiki articles

i've been meaning to read dracula for years

also bill nighy is ripping up and burning parts of books

thats a hate crime!

as a kid i was tolk books are our friends

then again, some oppressive countries ban books

like chi na and korea, and mus lim countries and burma and russia and england

so main chick gets a new drerss and sleept in some place and dont like the red dress as she thinks her a55 dont look good in it

just get fat and be jessica rabbit

guys like thicker women

so she gos to a dinner party and there's a lot of ugly brits there

put some evolution pills in the garbage! so when they eat it, they'll turn normal!

she talks to a geezer about her bookshop plans and said she ordered the classics

geezer sez it must be easy to be dead like he's got soime kinda necromance fetish

then she chats with mr north, like mr pink in that tatrentino mvoie? and he wants to marry her after her husbnand got it in the war

north looks like chris noth from law and order 1 and he has a gf and i think wants to b0ne her

then she spracks to the hgost a blonmde and main chick sez she lioved in the place they gonna put the shop for a week

host bloncde dont want her liivng in there and wants it made into a locl arts center

so main chick books it and blonde smokes

so later this scuzzy guy chats with main chick and was told main chick wont be doing the book shop

she sez she is and later gotrs tyo chris of the noth star's place and asks if blonde wanted him to run the arts and crafts center she wants the book shop location for

she figgers they dont want her there and she goes tyo some guy and sez she's not moving out and wants the property issues resolved

so she tunes up the hosue and later its raining and these kids, the seas scouts comer by and help her work

family guy woute; you mean a slave!

so she gets the book shop running and books added and feels good man

a guy named mr faven sez the place is a sh-t shop and some wiener kid gives her a letter from bil  nighy

its revealed that his woman bit it on their honeymoon in the marshes getting black berries

he goes on aout the books he likes in the kletter and later she papper emails him a bay bradburtty book farenhifgtht 451

huh the narrator was Julie Christie in farenheight 451, dr zhivagho, harry potter and finding neverl;and

so this girl kid comes by to work and dont like books

also main chick was sent bsexy pix of chix by publishers

later nighy finishes farenheight 451 and paper emails masin chick saying only send more bradbury

also main chick gets in a martian bradburybook

later north drops off lolita and later main chick tasks to girel about how to do this heater or w/e

her grandpa got this item from nanking years ago and girl wants to be b--chier as an adult cuz shes brittuish

main chick wants giorl to read a book and girl wants the nanking trAY AFTER MAIN CHICK BITS ITR

so main chick sends nighy lolita and wants him toread it and see if its good to have in her shop

its gonna turn him pedo!

just like how watching violence makes u violent

later a laDY COMES BY SAYING MAIN chick wAS invited to a get to geher of bill nighy's place

she goos oover and findds him eating a rat alive by swallowing it tail a55 end 1sty as it squeals and spazzes out

jk really they have tea and he sez his woman is still alive and got fat and duymped him or w/e

so he goes on about how blonde is powerful and has f'd him up and he wants to help herhave her bookshop

only he talk really slow and this movie takes forever to do anything

we're like an hour in and nothing happened

so the bookshop buys an a55 load of lolita copies cuz i guess engliand is a pedo country and people complain about her window display

theres letters baxck and forh between her and a guy over lolita beuing too hot for england

later min chick is out in the nature and noth and his gf come by and she talks of her husnasnd who bit it

later blondeis working with a nerd to pass a bill to have big gov take prpoperty

this is why we had 1776

so i kinda spazzed out and read abouti have no mouth and i must scream where a guy gets huge parts and when i looked back the girl is gonna leave

so bill nighy wants to help main chick and they hold hands for a while anbd he goes

was that the brittish ver of kissing?

later north comes by and wants to workl with her at da shop to get close to her but she dont consent

later little girl talks to noth and puts the heater up

later nighy tells blonde to leave maain chick alone and how he knows she had that big gov law passed with hernerdy nephew

he tells her shes sh-t and gets p-ssed and walks off and bites it

later a ray bradbury book comes in and shes sad as the guy bit it

later a guy comes by and says, wait, its blondes husband, and he sez blonde said nighhy saiid he liked the art center idea

she gets mad at him oveer spreading lies about nighy and don't want them saying him name or hers

he tries to explain and she b--ches out aT HIM

so the gov is gonna take her home and if the building isn't "fiot for humans" then they don't gotta pay her

also while she was out an inspector came in w/o consent abd checked the place

also north said he got crippled from it "being too damp" in there

whaty A CANDYA55!

so now she's gonna go rambo on em right?

take em out one at a time based on books?

north trys talking to her but she walks off

she looks over her books to music for a while and we see the faces of the people who f'd her

girl comes in weith da heeter (not a 50s gun) saves 1 book and uses da heater to torch the place as main chick is on as book

those books were innocent virgins

oh and narrator is thew girl

so its the present and girl is the owner of a new book srtore and says "no one feels alone in one"

the end

so that wasn't too bad

its kinda slow and not much happens

it also shows how awful brits can be

at least they wern't doing it for the reegnt

but over all its a decent film

not ther worst but not rallty great

soime parts are good and it eventually gets better

its just kinda long and slow

mostly clean, not reeally swearing or p0rn0 or violence

its like a 50s film

For the Bookshop 2 i want it to be a few years later where the people in the village are found turned inside out pone by one and in ways based on classic novels, and its a murder mystery and they goptta fiind out who's dong it. turns out, the chick was out trainbing in ninja and is assasinating them for revenge. alsoi its a 16 bit game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba and atari jaguar where you sneak around as the chick in a sexy outfit and with huge muscles from training witrh ninja and taking these guys out in puzzle like things where you gotta gget em in the right place and get em in the right way.

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