Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Stagecoach Review

 note; i spewl john waybne style; bad a55!

dstage coach

this is  my review on stagecoach from 1939

its directed by john ford who's awesome and stars the epic john waybne, andy devine, john carradine, thomas mitchell from gone with the wind and a buncha iother 1800s guys

i saw this b4 and its well done

nowadays people complaIN about the natives being the bad guys in it and want this banned

I can see a future where the canadian flag is seen as a hate symbol and if you say anything positive about historical figures, you get arrested for hate speech

also this was the film that made John Wayne a star

orson welles loved this one and its based on short stories or something

so this is in great b/w aand proper full screen

it looks like a late 20s or early 30s oone

after credits to people riding hiorses in a mad max wasteland and natives after em, we hear gernimo is active and he hates apaches more than the Americans

a caert comes in driven by andy devine with his perfect voice and they are gonna change horses

the passengers get oot and get a drink AND CHAT

1 guy is a gambler and andy finds the ringo kid is bust outta jail and wqants revenge on the plummer boys who sent him there

1 guy looking for reingo rideds shotgun wuth andy bohard andtheres a bank shupment of money on the coach

1 hag hassles this dr and he goes off and this blonde and him are being driven out as shes a h--ker i think ands hes a drunk

in a bar is a booze guy selling whiskey asnd dr makes homies with him

theres a rich chick and all these dinks go on the coach and 1 chick is sick or pregnant or somethiing and her homies dont want her spending time with as h--ker

but they didn't invent aids yet!!

So the army is going with em and they go through apache turf to get tro theuir destination

along the way theyt meet the ringo kid played by john wayne and we get a cool zoom effect

shotgun takes wayne in and takes his gun and any is waynes homie

dr knows ringo from fixing his kid bros arm but wayne says his bro got iced

also 1 guy in the coach s a confederate and 1 a yankee

southerner tells dr not to smoke by a lady, which would be seen as hate today for some reason

so they make it to a  base or w/e and there's no troops there and the soldiers gotta go back

but 1 dude wantsthem to go on and they have a vote to see if they continue

oh and 1 lady's hiusband is a soldier

they have dinner and the confederate is nice to the pregnant chick cuz hes a ghood southern gentleman

wayne has stuff in common with the h--keras both are hated and confederate was in pregnant chicks dads regiment and remembers him

wayne wants too avvenge his fam who was iced by christopher plummer or w/e and later they go on instead of gooing back

shotgun sez ringos dad and he wwere hoimies and puncheds cows together but he needs the 500 gold reward

bank guy i think goes on about economiccs and how americva is getting fd (like President Trump said but this is 1880 so its worse now)

actually this guy may have recalled Andrew Jackson saving America from the banks

so h--ker is nice to preggo and confederate has a cup freom greenfield manor he won on a wager

WHILE PREGGOP GETS A SILVER CUP to drink from, wayne chares a water sack with h--ker

dr has booze and later they make it to a mexico filler area and find the soldiers are gone from here and preggos huisbband got wounded in a fight with the apache and taken to the town they gooing to

preggo goos in and blacks out andwayne gets dr to help

bank guy is b--ching about the army not being there and ddr gets blicketee black coffee to sober him up

spoiler; mythbusters sayu that dont heklp, but a face slaap dp

they splash him with water and ther mexican there is married to an apache played by a mexican

nowadays they'd complain about that, but omar shariff playimng dr zhivago is kosher

so soome guys jack the coaches spare horses and prerrggo poops out a baby girl

the mexicano tells waynee not to go to ice the guy who iced his fam but waye done care

then waybe talks to the h--lker to not be out at nightas apaches might get her

he tells her he wants to avenge his fam like cutey honey and she sez her fam got iced too

he sez how she was good with the preggos kid andinvites her to be his wooman on his ranch

she dont tthink she can be loved after all the men she b0ned and runs in

later mexico guy is bummed his horse is gone and says he can getta new wife but that horse was special

nowadays he's be in love with his horse

wait that;'s springer

so h--ker stayed up all night to calm the baby as preggo sleppt

dr sez ringos going to jail and if h-0-ker goes with him then he'd find out abiout her past

but she asks if it';ll bne ok abnd he sez to try

so the guys bicker over if they should go with the preggo having just had a kid

ringo chats with h--ker and she suggests he escape and he wants to still avenge his fam

she whines about how its not worth it and suggests if he runs then she'd go with him

she gets him his gun and he rides off on a horse but the guyas cvatch him as he stopped to look out

theres apache giving war signals and the guys book it on their coach

ringo is handcuffed and they get to a river and shot gun uncuffs ringo

also there were Americans iced by apache there

to cross thgey rope logs to the coach and float it across

tthey go on and an arrow the acro bat snipers a guy in the coach

ooh, he ain't gonna be in stagecoach 2!

So the apaCHE ATTACJK And shotgun j fk's at em

ringo comes out and picks off a few, as do some of the men inb the coach

1 apaCHE jumps on the horses but is picked off

andy roony gets a sh0t in the arm and john waytynes stunt double jumps from horse to horse like its sunset riders and helps

the apavche now have guns and the Americans ae running outta Ammo

Confederate is gonna use his last bullet to ice preggo so she won't be used as A butt slasve bjt i think he gets iced

then the calvary comes in and saVES EM

confederate bites it and they go to the town and preggo's husband is ok aND BEING TREATED

PREGGO IS THANKFUL TO H--KER FOR HER HELP (which is sorta like the bible story of The Good Samaratan who was seen as scum but was a good guy)

the coach goos through town and they see Ringo and the guy plummer who iced his fam hears

he has the wild bill hickock hand of black aces and 8s which is the wild west ver of ginyu transformation playing

oh and i think the guy who got arrowed survived and was taken off in a stretcher

wayne sez to bring h--ker to his ranch as he serves his last year in jail and banker is arrested for stealing money from his bank

turns out they fixed the telegraph wires and phoned it in

waybe asks shotgun to let him go out for 10 mins and shows hes got 3 bullets left

he has a moment with h00ker and shes p-ssed at him going to fight

dr goes to a bar and has a nip anmd wait i think thats andy

butt plummer gets a  sahotgun and the bar moves the mirror as they expect a shootout like its a california slum

waynbe and h--ker walk through the town and go to her home wich i think is sa wh0re house

waybe asks her to marry him anmd sez to wait and andy sez riuungo wiill be there in 6 mins

dr sez he'd have liquid plummer arrested for murder if he goes out with the shotgun (which is what democrats want) and plummer goes out with out it

the town prepares for the fdinal fight revenge and plumerr and his droogs go out wuth guns

they walk towartd wayne and he falls and fires

then cut away and thenplummer walksd in tthe bar and bites it

reingo returns to his h--ker gf andfthey hug andshot gun arrives to bring wayne to finish his sentence

shotgun lets her ride with ringo and sends the horse caret on ands lets him go

shot gun offers dr a drink (which wuill probabnly kill him from liver, throat and stomach damage)

then waybe aND THE H00KER  ride off into the distance

the end

what a movie

epic, strong, bada55, good pacing, good flow and well done

yeah its got some 1800s views but it isn't as hard on the natives as you'd think

there's like 1 fight and a few mentions

overaLL ITS a grand film and looks and sounds great

no wonder it made john wayne a star

john ford does it again

plus when the calvary ran in and the dust covers the area, it hides how  there's niot as much as you'd think going on

just like d w griffith did in birth of a nation

its only like 96 mins and seems like a SILENT film in some ways

for stagecoach 2 i want it to be about john wayne and the h--ker on his ranch and she's gottten to 400lbs from a heavy pregnancy. but the nephew of the  plummer guy who iced his rents wants to avenge his uncle and has rounded up a bunch of malcontents and banditoes. so now john wayne has to use  his sharp shooting to fight through his ranch and blow holes in these homies. alsdo its a 32 bit light gun game on Sega Saturn, 3DO and Playstation like house of the dead and you go through his german expressionist f w murnau style ranch and its hidden lairs, dungeons and barns andtake on these dinks.

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