Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Charade Review

 Noye; i spell good as is a charade


this is my revierw on charade from 1963

its got cary grant, audrey hepburn, walter matthau, james coburn, george kennedy, nerd glass and paul bonifas froppm crime and punishgment

its directel by Stanley Donen who did rtoyal wedding and singin in the rainb

i never saw trhis b4 but heard its good

so it starts with a guy falling outta a train and weird 60s creditswith trippy colors and designs

then people are skiing and a chick is eating an a55load of food

a guy aims a gun at her but its a water gun and squirts

she tells her chumshes dumping her husband as they dont love each otherr

also he lies and keeps secrets

so grant rertutrns the watergun kid and its chums kid and kid squits on grant

she sez shes going back to soviet france and they reveal both are divorced and hes going to soviet france too

then they back in france and in her place its empty

probaly some malcontents looted it in as protest

nah then there'd be blood and s-t and j-00zz everywhere

then she finds a cop who brings her in and shows her the husdbnnands body

cop grills her and she knows nothing of her husband despite being married to him

cop sez husband sold all his sh-t and left but got iced and they cant find the dough

he wrote her a note about a dentist thing and his items he had are given to her

a tooth brush?! the frendch dont like teeth! maybe i think britihs

oh and he had several pass ports

later in her home a guy comes by and sez hes sorry 4 wat happened

oh its ghrant

shes ghonna translate real french into english as a job to make money

not devolved a55 canadian french

a the service no one showed and cop clips his nales as his kind has no sense of polite

a nerd sneezed on husbands body and james coburn come sin, checks for life, leaves a flower and says stuff to chick

geroge kennedy comes in, shanks the bodfy, sees hes dead, and books it

she gets a letter to come to the american embassy and the next dsay goos there and meets young walter matthau b4 dennis the menace

he sez her husband was wanted by America and shows photoes of guys who were at the service from ww2

the 3 guys(like the jan ken henchmen in alex kidd?) want the money and she's their only lead

and husband jacked 0.25 million from Amerciaand she dont know anything of it

he tells her not to tell anyone of meeting him and she could be iced

at the park she meets grant who watches a judy and punch puppet thing in french of frenchies smacking on each other

they go to a club and they speak french and play a yugioh season 0 gamne of passing an orange from neck to neck w/o handfs

i think i saw somethjing liker this in eiken

it looks sorta like b0ning

nerd tries to do the orange game and says she could be iced if she dont give him the dough and she escapes to a phone booth to call mr wilson

hes not there and coburn meets her and tells her to give him the sh-t and throws lit matches at her

clauiudia grant comes by right after coburn leaves and they go home and she sez if she tells anyone they might bite it

i think there';s a cult that does that

tell the secrets and it klls people by hearing it!

after some bickering, which means they're gonna fall in love like kagome and inuyasha, ore ikki and metabee, she finds george kennedy in her room

he has a hook like i know what u did last summer and vince grant goes in to fight him offscreen

she comes back and he goes out the windder to find kennedy and jumps across ledges to get to a window with the 3 homies and he b--ches at em foir f--kin it up

turns out grant in in it with em to get da bucks

grant retuens and sez he didnt find him and she tells she dont have the money and thery want itr

she wants him to not lie to her and kennedy calls asking if grant is stil;l there and not to trust grant

jean grant sez hes going to da next room aand puts a sock string on the door and sher calls mr wilson to say grant isnt who he sez he is as kennedy used another name for him

she goes out and fakes taking a taxi but hides behind it and when grant goes out he follows an empty one

she meets mr wilson and he sez the name grants alled is of a dead guy

in the war 5 guys were sent with money for the devient french but were gonna steal it

grants name, dyle, gt iced in a German Ambush asnd 1 guy got his hand blown off

they escapes to get da gold after da war but husbandwent back 1st and took it

they caught up with him now and matthau mr wilson sez they cant arrest em w/o evidence

also wilson wants chick to get info on dyle

later shes following grant and this German dude is gay for her

at a bannk or w/e she calls him at a phone boot and he says his bro was the dyle who bit it and he thinks the guys iced him

he vanishes and kennedy abducted him at gunpoint and takes hhim toa sttairwell

oh and kennedy has a hook for a hand

i though he was just holing it

keddeny takes him to da room and wants the money as he thinks vince grantr is holding a55 out on him

they fiight andd he evntually falls of a roof into the shhadoows like that guy in ghost

he survives and is hanging on and grant leaves him to splatter

he goos back too chicks pplace asndshe treats his cut up basck from SM wwith kennedy

they chat and he sez hes divoirced and they do theYugioh thing of "2 tribes, 1 lies, 1 tells truith, and you ask ewm which is which"

just ask something with a sset answer like a math thing\

so shes into him even though he's 25 years more than her

like peter trudeau and his womanm

ort hugh heffner b0ning 19 year olds ast 90

thee baddz get bowie grant and her and a kid hostage

grant sez 1 of them iced husband and took the dollers and only stayed as if he left they'd knoiw he did it

nerd and coburn go through husbands stuff and talk over if 1 of em has it

chick asks  kid where treausre might be and she looks above thedresser

they find something and kid outs it but the thing they found is just kennedys spare hook

then they find kennedy in the bathrtub dead anddopnt know who did it

then the cleaning maid fibds em annd then they are in cops place wjo sez its against the law to registed under a fake name

and they still use the guilotine as the french like chopping people up

she and vince grant arewalking outsde talking about an american in paris or thge hunch back of totre ddame and she worried of getting iced

they go to a hotel and he takles a shower in a suit

mathheu calls her saying dlye had no brother

on a boat ride she sez dyle had no bro and he tells his life story about not wanting to work in umbrella frames so he became a thief

now his name is Adam like He Man or The Bible guy

So they grow closer and watch couples making out and she smooches him

later nerd is woke p by a call and comes down and when the elevator comes up hes iced

cop grills musica grant aND CHICK AND coburn is missing

later coburn calls brant and sayshe wants the moony

he tells chick aND THEY go through husnands stuff

she thinks his tooth poweder is smack but its not

later granto went through coburns sh-t and found a note that had a list of sh-t in husbbands bag

he wants the money but she thinks its wring

he pulls her outta work after she figgerz out husband had an apointment wityh a guy in the park

at da park they see coburn and he notices the stam,ps and runs off to a car which u s grant follows in taxi

he catches coburn ad coburn reveals grant iced all 3 guys for nothing ands insilts him with saturday morning cartoon words like nincompoop

chick figgers it oot and meets chum whoi's son was given a buncha stanps for free

she takes the stamps to be appraised and wait, its the guy kid gave the stamps to for 10 franks and gave em back as they are wortth a lot

she comes to a room to findcoburn wih a bag on his head and a finger mark in the ground saying dyle

she runs from grant as he chass her and wants the stamps and they wind up ina train station

btw if she had a conceal and carry permit she could defend herfself

she gets bon the train and he gets on at the last second

she escapes at the next stop in a phone booth like colon farel aND calls mr wilson and hes out

why not go in the ladies room? he cant go in there

then the real guy wilson was saying he was gets the message and its revealed matheiur was faking it da hole time

she runs to mattheiue and grant reveals mattheir is the real dyle and was killing everyone the whole time

she dont know who to trust and mattheir says they left him when they knew he was alive after beiiung capped and he spent 10 months in as german pow camp

so hes thre good guy? avenging himself?

theyres a fire fight and they run to a theatre and she hindes in a hole in the thing

as matthire walks across the floor then grant pulls a trzp door and he falls legs 1sxt on the gound

is he dead?

how does landing on your legs kill you?

so she and he goes to sdee mr crukshank like that dink who made those awful fred things and it turns out its grant whos curkshank, a treasury officer, a T Man!

also matthier went in on lunch hour to meet her

she dont think its really him bnut he suggests marrying  and they make out and talk about making a lot of kids

then a werird checkerboard screen of cliups of grant

the end

that was pretty good

nice twists and gooid suspence

good mystery and hidden points

good acting andf feel and its mostly clean and pg

good action and dramaa and its a well made film

it holds up well and is in color but it wiodescreen

for charade 2 i want for walter matthau to have beenb rebuilt by the gov with metal legs and rather than waste him, uses his skill to go on a mission agasinst the soviets to reclaim a black magic item from the Axis that they took after the war. Also its an 8 bit platformer like castlevania or mastter of ddarkness on nes, game boy, master system, game gear, tg16 atari 7800 and lynx where you fight in rootting soviiet villages and fight people devolved by the item with supeer legs that extend or have super jumps or other abilities.

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