Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Destry Review

 note; my spelling bad is fun so imma keep dooin it


tthis is my review of Destry from 1954

its the 3rd vertsion of the the book Destry rides again as A MOvIE

this one has audie murphy, alan hale 2 from giligans island, Mari Blanchard from mcclintock, Thomas Mitchell from stagecoach, its a wonderful life and gone wirth the wibnd, Edgar Buchanan from mcclintock, Wallace Ford from Blood on the Sun and A Patch of Blue, mary wickes from The Hunchback of Notre Dame and the 90s liottle women, George D. Wallace from mionority report and Forbidden Planet, Richard Reeves from Billy the Kid vs. Dracula, Lee Aaker from Hondo, Trevor Bardette from sdanta fe trail and John Doucette from julius ceaser

i never saw this, or its premakes, or read the book, but audie murphy is usually good so imma watch this

its directed by George Marshall who did The Guns of Fort Petticoat

so its in color and widescreen and starts withg names on as sign

film editor; ted j kent, like clark kent from batman?

so after that therese rowdy cowboys come in a bar and these chicks have a song show where ethye fire guns and show off their pitts

this armpit chick tells a story of some bada55 in rhyme and is livley and rowdy like ojne of those go nagai chicks

mabe kirika misono from eiken

then there's this card game and the armpit chick comes in

the chicks she was wuitrh were in different colored outfits like a confederate sailor moon

so chick spills a drink on 1 guy and as sghe cleans him up, trhey switch the card and he dont got ewnuff aces to win

they beat him out and carry his boidy outside

anso card guyis charging a cattle drive coming through or something and is gonna make mad bux

cheeted guy lost his ranch and is gonna shoot up the guys who cheeted him but saheriff talks him outta it

sheriff confronts the cheeters and card guy cheeter dont like the insinuation he stole

but he gives back the deedf to te sherrif, but caps him sas he leaves

then the cxhgicks show off their a55es in dresses and dances

then da MAYOR announces the saheriff got iced and he asppoints some dink as the new one

he wants destry's son to be his homie and days later maybe, a coacxh comes in with despry

alan hgale comes out and easly kills a guy who hassled hum and its not despry

thern audie comes out and is kind of a beta male

he's despry and is kinda polite and sensitive

nowadays he'd be the nerd in computer and magic the gathering cr-p

so the town pikes fun at him being a dink and he dont even ave a gun in the west

sheriff regrets his choice anmd a chick gives him a mop to clean a55 but he smax guys with it by mistake

then the wife of some guy fights this arm,pit chick over her huisband losing a haty for her in a game to pits

their clothes start comming off like its a go nagai manga and audie dumps a bucket on them

wife runs home with her 1600s undies showing and pits b--ches out and starts tryimng to kill audie

so new sheriff b--ches at audie for being a candya55 and audie brought his dads gun saying he dont believe in guns

he cleaned up silver creek w/o firearms and sez King David won w/o guns

spoiler; slings were bible guns

sherrif sez hes not gonna swear in audie AS deptuy

later audie hears thew last sherrif got it doing his job and goes 2 a bad 4 a drink

new sherrif has resigned his commission and he has mayor mc a55 swear him in as deputy sherrifd

he tells sherrf and they wortk togetehr

later cheeter goes to cheeted guys home to drive him off

the cheeted guys kid comes to get sherrif and audie who rtead that past sherrtif had a healthy heart

aautdie and sherrif come by and audie handles a guy shooting the home but cheeter has a deed

cheeted explains he was cheeted and audie canm';t stop him

cheeted sez past sheriff said he'd fix it right b4 biting it of heart issuies

audie talks to pitts and she slips that past sgherrif got capped

so later audfie comes to see dr and hes being harassed by his woman and investigates on if past sherriif really got it of heart stuff

dr sez the cheeter anbd his droogs made him sign it as a heart thing and audie sez hes gotta decide what he should do

a cowboy ssez hes being charged 50 cents per cow for a drtive and its cuz cheeter got cheeted guys land

the people wanna have an uprising  but audie sez they gotta follow the law

soi cheeted guys fam moves out and lateraudie ansd shererif come bya bar with mucvh shooting going on where guys were throwing sh-t and cappin it

the guys fire at his feet and he dont react as i guess hes a bada55 IN DISGUISE

audier gets a gun from each gguy andhe reveals hes actually a crack shot as he blkows out 3 shot gflassesd and duel wields 2 and the endds of a dart board off

thery see hees bada56 aND  consenmt top easing off the gunfire

SO CHEETER WANTS CHICK TO STAY AWAY FROM AUDIE AND later aufdie comes by and chick i mean pitts tells him not to goo in

cowboy tells audie hes driving his cow through the land and offers audie in on his thing so audie slugs him

he asks a paintter about who really did j fk i mrean sherrif and pitts sings a song thats troo sexy for the 1800s

auidie watches and guys gether by him and rowdy cowmen ruish the chick to b0ne her but a guard holds em back

the cheeters guys ask about why aiudies asking quesyoins and he replies his dad was shot in da back

dr and sherrif come y with results of tests and sherrif 1 gut a bullet in da back annd they matched the bullert to 1 guys gun

maytolr sezthe evidence wont hold up in courtm but cheeter sez if accused isnt gulilty, nnothing will happen to him

audie sez accused is gonna hang ifd he dont give any evidence on the guy behind it and mayor comes in and sez he has a trial set up for tomorrow with him as judge

audie sez no and  later lets the accused go ROR

this chick wjho i think is this kids sister comes by and her brother sez shes gay for him

later audie has a drink with pitts and she shows her face w/o make up

she sez shes leaving town aND WANTS TO SEE him b45 she left and is sick of this cr-ppy a55 town to return toi new orleans (where tommy wiseau is from)

later dr8bnk sherrif got capped and eventually bites it

audie cant take it and gets his dads guns anmnd comes toward the salloon

the salloon plays the armpit 5kanks rdancxing and showing hda bloomers and theres gunmen everywhere ready to j fk audie

a guy comes in but its not audie andthey reset but pits chick runs off

audie snmeaks around like a ninja and pitts goes and gets dr whos got a shot gun and inside the salloon audie holds up a guy aat gunpoint and locks him in the closet

theeres a crasdh and audie reveals himsel;f and sez he just wants da leader

he wastes 2 guys who are too slopw like in virtua cop

audie and cheeter se eacjh other in a mirror and audie blows out te maype

maytors gonna cap audie but skipper and dr come in and waste a few guys

cheeter has audie behind a ccounter and when he copmes oput, cheeters gonna cap him, but pitts jumps in and takes the hit

he caps cheeter and she bites it b4 they can kiss

later some chix on a ridde go by and this  kid wjhos in like 4 scenes sez his sister wants to thank him

they hear gunfire and come in to see sister prwcticing guns to get audies attention

shhe sez shootings against da law and wanbnts to be arrested cuz shes got a fetish for SM

he goes on about a book he read and she makes out with him

so he gets a replacement at the end after his partner gets iced?

just like shiro in the gay netflix voltron!

the end

that was pretty good

a bit cheezy but its a 50s movie

it switches things up by audie nbot being super bada555 at 1st but secretrly being one

good way of making him look smart w/o making the guys below him look stroopid

good acting and music

good color

i ejoyed this one

it holds up and has good feels

for Destry 2 i want a new round of toughs to come to town and hassle evetyone. so audie stands up to em but they shred him with gunfire. then he has to rehab and get rebuilt with experimental steam pun tech and come back wtyo take em out. its also a 16 bit run n gun game on sega genesis, snes, tg16 atrari jaguar and gba where you play asa audie andblast through these degenerates and droogs who have experimwental treampunk weapons and mechs they stole from a lab and the dr rebuilt you with his tech to get it back.

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