Saturday, August 21, 2021

The Scarlet Pimpernel Review

Note: i spell better than the frenchies!

The Scarlet Pimpernel

This is my review on The Scarlet Pimpernel from 1934

Its based on a book that started super hero things like a seecret identioty and inspired real jheroes who saves people

its directed by harold young who did Without Regret, Woman Trap, My American Wife, Little Tough Guy, The Forgotten Woman, Bachelor Daddy, Swing It Soldier, Juke Box Jenny, Hi'ya, Chum, Machine Gun Mama, Jungle Captive and Roogie's Bump

These sound like p0rn0es

It stars Leslie Howard, Merke Oberon, Raymmond Massey, Nigel Bruce from sherlock holmes, Bramwell Fletcher from Svengali, Walter Rilla from The Adventures of Tartu, Mabel Terry-Lewis from Jamnacia Inn, O B Clarence from Pygmalion, Melville Cooper from he Adventures of Robin Hood, Gibb McLaughlin from The Private Life of Henry VIII, John Turnbull from the 39 steps, Derrick De Marney from Things To Come, Robert Rietti from Hannibal and a buncha 1800s dudes i never heard of

i saw this b4 and its  prtetty good

apparently alexander korda wanted charles laughten for the heroi but the people hated the idea and he hired the gokne with the wind dude

kinda like with michael keaton an batman

so after a silent style title asnd credits we get text saying its so its the distant future year of 1792 in soviet london

guards are training as back then, cops could have guns (which is why you call the cops)

these briitmo's talk about how the evil french are executing their own kind like its a 3rd world of socialist country

the evil robbespierre had guillotined a bincha youung girls (and probably b0ned em 1st)

then we see the frenchies guillotining people as the crowd cheers

i knew the french were evil!

some frenchies with brit asccents talk about the scarlet pimpernel;l saving innocnet frenchies and no one knows who he is

at a  checkpointthe guards catch a guy claiming to be a farmer aand are gonna execute him

the rebpublic of sovciet  frence is executing the rich for thinking theuy wronged them

kinda  like in 40s axis, 1910s ussr, or what the commies mean when they say when they want the "rich" to "pay their fair share"

in the dungeonthis guard reads names of those who's gonna get chopped

at the guillotoine squarea guy says good thingsd about the king of france and the mob chases him

kinda like how if you like the condfederates you are seen as evil

then this driver carrys the cart away and gets to the checkpoint

she says her grandson is in the cart and has the plague and offers tgo let them see and they  fear germs so they shun her and let her through

kinda like with aids of the 2020 plague

after a bit the frenchies come for the hag and say they wanted her as the cart has rich people in it, and the hag weas the scarlet pimpernell!

so the hag gets the people to another cart and the frenchies chase after like its birth of a nation

then ttheyt swap riddes again and hag was just leslie creossdressing like lancer in robotech

leslie sends one of his men back to fuind out sabout their enemy citizen show vlan

show vlan meets a guy and says as thepimpernel and his droogs speak perfect french, they were trained by the best and he has a list to zero in on

oh show vlan is the ambassator to soviert england and he's talking to the evil Robespierre 

later the frenchies saved honor the evil king george 3 as they aint american

they see a thing of a pimpernell and its the code nasme for the hero

latter this girl is chewing something and this guy trues to de french her by making her not move her hands like some italiano wqhen she taslks

seinfeld: waving his hands like some gay french king

shows leonardo decapprio in the man in the iron mask

Seiinfeld; but you can;'t say that now cuz some gay french king gets offended

Sghowsa leonardo spazzing out

leslie sez to be sharp and fake being male bimboes to hide their identity

like in dbz how they hide theior power levels

so leslie goes ourt acting kinda inbred, and even uses a different voice like 80s batman, and writes a cr-ppy poem about the pimpernell

imagine a modern day scarlert pimpernell where its a chick faking being a ditzy bimbo but is really a bada55 ninja who saves people?

a chick comes on to him and i think its his wife, yeah it is, and shes a frenchie and dont like him being a himbo

so these spies try to use a plan to get someone

and freench wife isn't fond of lewsliefor being a wiener and  wants to ditch him for another dude

If the scarlet pimpernel was made today, trhey could say his sudden change in act is from getting a flo shot and getting devolved

also the frtench wife preeviouisly said things that got people executed

so at a get together is leslie acting like a bimbo and knowing fashion

after the other guys leave the leslie pimpermnbel chats with his droogs about the show vlan or w/e

laterfrench wife is talking with this guy, i think the bad guy, and 1 dont wanna help the other by giving screrts

he sez her brother was arrested for being a traitor and if she gives him the identity of the pimpernell, he'd be spasred

then leslie comes in and bad guy is revealed to be show blan

he takes shots at freench breing a cr-ppy lsanguage and bimbos out

sjhow vlan leaves and she asks about this guy she thinks might be the pimpernel

she can't take his being a bimbo and says "you were a masn once" which makes me think he accidentally pulled off his parts from idiocy

I'm surprised they never made a blaxploitation movie called rthe scarlet p-mp, wher this guy saves h--kers from being butt slaves

so threy go to a party and leslie is a bimbo abain, whgich i din't recall so many of these scenes, annd leslie tellsa a guy he'd be in the library at midknight

the prince of whales ids there, i;'m guessing from atlantis, and show vlan os too

1 chiuck asks the pribcxe to save her husnbasnd but he se he can't govern other countries

well, i meanb, not ones they havent taken over

so later his french wife is kinda spaszzed but might be faking it aand wait, its not the wife

sher has leslie burn something and wait, i think it is the wife as show vlan comes by and wants info from her

so show vclasn finfs tyhe pimpernell will be in ther livbrary at midknight and goers there but its jusrt that bimbo leslei howard sleeping

he waits and leslie isd faking sleeping and 20 mins later, show vlan fell asl;eep

at 1 am he wakes uip and finds a card from the scartlert pimpernell

and the only one there is that bimbo leslie and hes sleeping so it cant be him

pluis he slept through a clock chiming so the p-mp didnt wake him up

later they go home and leslie has a ring with a hidden stamp for his logo

late his frenchioe wife comesx by and tells lesloie her brother got caught and she comes clean abouyt show vlan

leslie asks why she sent that fam to the guillotobne and shecse its cuz she loved the guys son but guy wouldnt allow it and wouldve sent er to some bad black, but the malcontent uprisings happened and freed her

shje admits she tried to get the scarlet p-mpn arrested and show blan said s p didnt show

leslie sez shes in love wit s p and he may be maried and in love with his wife

she dont think a married maN WOULD FACE DANGER LIKE THAT AND he goes off on a businbess trip

later frenchie wife sees a picture of leslie with a pimperlnes ring logo and figgersd out its him

she gioes to save him but gets a letter from show vlan saying he foundf the s p identity

so she rushes over to one of s p's homies and sez hes in danger from her letting show lan know of it

so later in soviet france the bad guys say if they dont catch s p , they gonna get the blade

although king henry 8 took out his women with heads off, so the french are not that different

the frneshies are str-p searching thed people, esp the women, like its a go nagai manga to make sure no one is the s p

but leslie is dressed like a frenchie soldier and hides with em

also they talk of fighing soviet england

1 frenshie sez the s p is doing something about england and to meet him at 10 at this place

wow the moviers almost over

its 95 wins with adds already?!

this movi whizzed byu

totally didnt feel like it

so chick wife frenshies goes to the place and asnd gives a hanfd signal to come in

so show vlan comex by and arrests a guy  for helping the guys the gov sez is bad, andhe's gonna execute him for it if he dont help him

he sez what signal to give with a window candle and frenchie wife is gibving the dangerr signal

so he gives the a ok sugnal and sez how hes amazed that bimbvo is th hero

he arranges for a firing squd and later its 10

show vlan fakes bweing a quaker or som,ething abnd covers his fave with his hat

les;lie xccomes in and knows itv show vln and is confident hes got this

show vlan sezhe only raise his voicew and hiosmen will get him

leslietows with several possible escapes like a hidden soldfier in the clock or a wine barrel of gun powder

then a guy comes out with a gun and makes showe vlan givve up the password

leslie sez now frenche wifes bother is safe and sends guinman out

show vlan sez he has leslies wife  and if he gets firing squadded, she can go free

leslie agrees and she comes down and they kiss and she wants to die with him

she blacks out and is carried off to the ship to soviet en gland sez a stylish poem and is taken out andthe firing squad fires

show vlanb listens but dont watchn and smiles as he'd evil

then lislie comes in and gets his hat

he reveals he had the firiung squad and men taken hout and replaced with his own

they put him in the celler and put a bsasrrel over it and they go off on a boat to soviet england

eslie sez as he didnt bite it, then show vlan didnt set her free

then they go to england

the end

that was ghreat

i thought thwere'd be more rescuing of frenchies but most of it was leslie howeard being a male bimbo

its a classy film with good style and feel

nice aCTING AND ITS IN PROBER FULL screen and is nice smokey b/w

its got good flow and goes by at a good pace andnever drags

its likd by Stan Lee and the 20s/30s comic writers

its a rwarning of the dangeres of malcontent uprisings and has inspired good people to save the innocent

leslie is charming and does a great performance as the scarlet pimpernell and his male bimbo human forme

its only like 95 mins and dont fgeel like it

i loved this one. its a good 30s classic

For The Scarlet Pimpernel 2 I want the french to have gotten worxe and have declared war on england, but many englishmen suppport the devient frenchies and help them take over, So by 1805, England is a burned out wwasteland and people survive in the ruins of the cities, The Scarlet Pimpeernel has made a pact with Portugal to tru to get the innocent outta england but there's cannibals and devients roasming the area, and he and hgis crew gotta fight em off. Its also a 16 bit Hack and Slash game like Golden Axe on Sega Genesis, Snes, GBA, TG16 and Atari Jaaguar with up to 4 players, each being the Scarlet Pimpernel or one of his homies, and battling lusty canniobals in the ruins of england

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