The Eyes Of The Mummy Review

Note: I spell like 30000 year euyes, i mean 3000 as creationscience disproved that 1st number

The Eyes Of The Mummy

This is my review on The Eyes Of The Mummy from the distant Future year, to Paul Revere, of 1918 (80 years before the Globalk Civil War in Robotech)

its directed by, Ernst Lubitsch?! Okk now I'm interested! who did The Loves of Pharaoh/The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg(I cried at that)

It styarsa Pola Negri ffrom, actusally I never saw her in anytyhing, Emil Jannings from The Loves of Pharaoh/Waxworks/Faust, Harry Liedtke who was killerd by soviets when in 45 they tried raeping his wife, from The Loves of Pharaoh, and a few i never saw in anything

it got good reviews and did well in the time of release but i never saw this b4

so after tile and credits, a painter goes to egtpt and we seeb this guy in a hat walking around as wastelandhe meets this exotic chickl getting water from aa well wjo runs off and he follows

if shes clearly afraid of you, probably for being a gaijin, why chase her?!

so she gets away and the nexty dayat a hotel this prinxceiss there

this guy suggests seewing the tomb of the queen ma but is told its cirsed and a devolved guy on a chair waas a victim

paiunter asks devolved guy whart happened and is told the eyues are alive as he spazzes out

at da market he sees a guy who goes on tomb expeditions and wants to see it but isnt accepted

in tthe market is a performer doing scarf tricks amdf a guy doing as shell game

painter offers money to a guy to see the tomb and goes on a big black horse wiith him

at da tromb is a black guy who might be make up and has the water chick from b4 in the tommb

when painter gets thewre, black guy eventually brings him in with as torch(Not the Throw bot)

in there are drawing on da wall and a stone thing with living euyes moving

painter tries to go in but black guy fights him and painter pulls a gun and fires but it clearely mnisses

in there he sees the watch exotic chickamdits clearly daylight in deeper in the tomb

he comforts her andsoh theres a fire but the shadows go pover it

sjhe sez years ago, wait, how do they know the same language? is trhis like robotech or dbz how all alien races know the same tongue?

so the bvlack guy caUGHT HER AND BROught her over the water on a horse and when shge woke up, she was in here ansdi guess his indentured servant

oh and when painter got off his horse, it walked off and i guess is done

so he sez she dont gotta love him but does have to obey him, and iu guess he b0ned her a lot

painter vows to free her and she promises to never leave him and they hug then start to leave

da horse is there and they ride it together but black guy is clutching his chest like he was hit there, but coes out of the tomb and goes after em but collapses in the desert

the  prince on his outing com,ers sacross him and brings him with em  with a few servants carrying him

da nnext day da prince has saved him and he wants to come to europe to serve him, whuich as the 2020s has shows, might not be best

after prince goes, he  vowws to find the chick

so the chick, called ma,, are on an ocean liner and he teavches her European protoculture ith a tutor as she eats sugar cubes ands is the gaijin now

she likes this cat and chases it during the lesson and the tutor puts it aside

painter comes by and she happily hugs him and soon after he gets her 1st world clothes

but the prince is returning from asia and black guy asked his god to show the chicjk he thinks betrayed him

at a party painter shows the chick to his friend but 1st is platyful and romantic wioth her

they play a waltz and she dont join as she dont know or w/er ans goes back to her room and crys

she puts back on her gaijin clothes and wjhen the people notice she's not there, find her and and happy to see her

they bring her back and platy "some5thing oriental" for her and she does a weird exotic dance like something Tommy Wiseau might find hot

a viriety showguy is interested and wants her to dance in it and has a contract in his pants

2 months later shes a success and is in da papers and prince is reading of it

black guy comes goes and prince wants to see it and reserves a box for it

at the shhow is 2 people lifting each other around and preoince and black guy come to a  private box

chicjk comes on and does her weird a55 dance, but not a dance of a weird a55

black guy seews her and she falls over and is taken to her room

black guuy gopoes lokingf for her and painter comnforts er and she sez black guy lives rti revenge on her

good fear in polas face she could act

she leaves and black guy is after her and hesars she left by car

later an art wexhiit opens and prionce is a guest and sees a painting he likes

he meets da painter and chick is there and he kisses her hand

suddenl;y, he starts spasming opout and falls to the floor copnvulsing as his skin starts changing until he has caught her gaijin itis and is now turneed into one of them

of cource, i'm joking, which anyone with a working brain could see

but nowadays, common sense is so rare its a super power

so prince invites em over to see his colorectal collection and next day they come

chick likes thisd vase that reminds her of her home country and pronce smokes as its the 1910s and germany didnt prove its bad for you for another 2-3 decades

they have a tal;k and she sees black guy in da mirror and he hides

she gets a  bit spaced out and blacks oit and is put in bedbut keeps seeimng black guy behind semi clear cloth wait, hes see through and shes spazzing out

what da f is going on here?!

is tdat in her head or is he using some black magic?

so blavk guy gets a card with writiong on it iu cant read andi guess its  her addness and goes to see her

he gives a letter and leaves and its given to main guy painter but i cant read it from bad video quality and bad handwriting

he shows chick who sez to ask the prionce tyop cancel the buying off da paintring as herlife may depend on it

painter goos oof and black guy is in princes area and looks at the painting of chick  and shanks it with a knife

at least he didn't staret j=rkin off to it

he reads the name of da painter and good oof and as painter comes by, he goes

painter sez his wifes wellbeing depends on the princes choice and black guy hops the gate at painters home

prince find the shanked painting and recognizes the dagger as his servants

at paintyers place, black guiy is climbing the walls and going to the winbdow like count orlock and chhick freaks out  and calls on da phonerr

black guy punches in da glass and comes in and chick freakks out buyt then stands there as helumbers closer

shebegs for mercy but e takes out another blade and she blacks out and falls

he gets spazzed out by this and carries her popff like in the cabimnet of dr caligari, then puts her dowb and maakes out with her corpse

at least he didnt go full evangelion on it

eeventrually he gets his blade and slowly walks to da camera, then raises his blade

the scene cuts and painter and i think prince come back and see them on the floor

1 guy sez "too late" and the movie ends

I think the black guy did seppuku and according to wikipedia, she bit it freom da fall

the end

that was kinda f'd

tthen again, Lubitsch don'treally do happy endings

this was well made, tells a good story, has heart, good active and style

its a bit sad but thats how europe likes it

Year there's no mummy but angels and demons had neither in it, except this one wwas good!

its one of those kinda bummer but meaningful movies that makes you think about life

Lubitsch does it again

plusd it inspired other films like nosferatu and the cabinet of dr caligari

Its kinda like Robotech Season 2 with Dana and Zor where 1 bites it

Is only like an hour long and worth a look

For The Eyes Of The Mummy 2 I want prince and painter to take the bodies to a hospital where their condition is upgraded from dewad to alive and they are kept in seperate rooms to avoid the guy from going nuts. they have damage from the near dead things and need rehab to regain use of things and much of the  ovie is them learning how to function. also they get metal parts added to hellp them function better and it gives them better abilities. after rewcovering, he finds she  survived and  goes after her  but she's ready and has gadgets in her body that can help her esacape. its also a 32 bit metroidvania game on Sega Saturn, ps1 and N64 and 3D0 where you play as the chick and use gadgets to get aroundf this german expressionist city and gotta evade or stun the bad guy and unlock new abilities as you  discopver the need for them in cutscnees by getting to the right area, until you face him in this factory and gotta knock him into machinery to grind him up.