Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Review

 note i spell dirty

duirtyy robtten scoundlers

this is my review on Dirty Rotten Scoundrels from the distant future yea rto d w gridffith of 1988(40 years before robotech dseason 2 or so)

itys directal by frank ozx who didThe Dark Crystal/The Indian in the Cupboard

it stars Steve Martin from Bringing Down the House/Home/The Simpsons and nothing else I';ve seen, Michael Caine from Zulu/Billion Dollar Brain/Miss Congeniality/Austin Powers in Goldmember/Batman Begins/Children of Men/The Dark Knight/The Dark Knight Rises/Interstellar/The Eagle Has Landed, Glenne Headly  from SVU, Ian McDiarmid from Star Wars 6 1 2 3 and 9/Sleepy Hollow, Dana Ivey from the color purple/The Addams Family/Home Alone 2: Lost in New York/Sleepless in Seattle/Addams Family Values/Addams Family Values/The Kid/Ocean's Eight/Law & Order/Fraiser, Meagen Fay from Evan Almighty/rob zombies Halloween II/La La Land/Life with Louie/Seinfeld/Malcolm in the Middle/The Big Bang Theory/The Muppets, Frances Conroy from Sleepless in Seattle/Catwoman/The Aviator/The Tale of Despereaux/All-Star Superman/Superman: Unbound, Louis Zorich from Fiddler on the Roof,andf a few i never saw in anything

I never saw this b4 but hear its fun

huh, it was gonna be with Mick Jagger and David Bowie

Hope they didnt have em b0ning

so after a title we get a chick offering a guy diamonds for her i mean his country and he eventuallly accepts

then credits then michael caine is told theres a target and he sits at a casino game with roulette and is next to a blonde

he says he might get something for the royal ring and his minion sez its royal and ur heiness

the blonde later asks minion and sez hes a prince and has a great destiny and she trys to help him and he sez hes got powerful enemies and might havew been spooted and jumps in da water

she talks to minion and he sez 5 years ago his woman bit it and she gives him a donation

then we see caine paying guys fot their help and go to zuruch

later steve martin from godzilla is on a train and sitys with a chick and sez hes hungry but will have only water and how his grandma raised him and hsi real rents didnt want him

she's been sick and theres bills and he's bad with money and works for the red cross

she sez she'd pay for his food and he orders a load of cr-p

so later he goes to 1st class and sees caine who sez he heard all dat cr=p[ he did

steve sez women have it too good and men have it worse(which is true) and he otta have them pay

steve sez he's heading for the riviara as theres lots of rich women there and caine sez its not anymore and its old guys and now the social stuff is in the italiano rivereia

steve is gonna check it out anyway and caine sez hes going to his wifes and when the train stops, thgsi european chick is on and sez shes going to portafino and steve goes with her instead and sez the grandma story

caine gets off and reveals he sernt the european chick and that he dont wanna compete with steve

later cain reads of a con artist claled da jackel and reads on a chick whos the nesxt tareget

then steve comes in on a white ferrarri mustang with the target and has a lot of cr-p from her

then on the beach is steev in a speedo with a blonde in a bikini and caine shows the target and he's arrested for taking money

he talks with minion who fakes being a cop and sez its  amisunderstanding and he struggles to remember the name but kinda gets it

caine comes in and sez they used to neuter people and gets steve to agree to 5000$ to let him out and he goes off on a plane after thanking caine

on there he meets the blonde from b4 who sez she knew the princer who was the caine and that she knows her noney is finacning his mission

he puts it together and goes with it, then comes back and reveals to caine he knows and wants in and to be taught by him as he never thought they could go this big in scamming

if not, he'd out him and caine asks his education and steve sez he did high school,and majored in metal shop

caine lets him in if he follows the rules and steve accepts even though caine looks uyounger than steve

after a montage btw caine looks like william hgolden from life with father, stsve has mastered his stkle and will work for caine

later caine is with a chick and getting her to give him bucks and that he has a brother whos another prince

he shows him steves room which has a toilet and tire swing in it and hes kinda devolved and looks like jim carry in dumb and dumber

steve braks things and when told "what do we do for guests" he gets a glove and lubes up" then hugs her and spazzes out

he sez hes gonna marry her and are gonna go to oaklahoma and later at dinner, he has a fork with a cork on the end and eats apple sause

when he asks to go to the bath room, he makes a face and p-sses or sh-ts himself and it disturbs the chick

i love this, its so fun

also i thought this would be them trying to outcion each other,m i never thought theuy;'d team up\

so theyget paid and steve gets nothing and caine sez he's spell it i eman spoend it on cr-p

so he shows stsve things steve dont get like wine he wont drink or sell and a statue of a naked chick but steve has enough and ditches him

so steve comes back and sez hes staying to work here and they can both do things despict i mean despite caine not wanting to share

he sez he can kick hsi a55 and cainer sez he can have him arrested and steve sez he can out him to the blonde from b4

so they agree to a contest and whoever gets the number of money from this chick gets to stay and the other is banished

1st oen to get 50- 000 $ from this rich chick wins

at a roulette atble caine trys to get near but steve comes in ruiding a wheel chair and fakes bewing a military guy with cr-ppy lucjk

he f's out at roulette and tells her he needs money for his grandmas operation

she offers him 2000$ and hes thankjful and hes got mental trauma leave as he won a dance thing with his woman and when he came back, his woman was b0ning danny terrio the host of dancing usa

so when he woke up, his legs didnt work from mental issdues and theres 1 dr in lichtenstein and is super expensive but can do it for 50 000 $

then he sees a couple dancing and has an autism attack and she wheels him out

she writes a letter to da dr and goes to mail it and steve jumps outta hsi chair and dances

she sees a guy with a sign for the dr and finds caine faking being da dr and trys to get him to help

caine sez he's gonna help if she stops paying st=eve and only pays him, which is really clever writing

so she codms back and shows him caine whos said to be the dr

he examines stevees legs and sez as hes numb and caine whips his legs with a rod as he tanks it like a bada55

so caine takes him on as a patient and after putting steve in the car, this chick he scammed b4 cxomes by and sez "ur heiness" and he goes with it, then tells amercian chick thatits his patient

they go to thsi mansion and he shows her upstains and tells steve to come up as itsd all in his head

they dance to a msuic box and steve comes up and sez he crawls up but sees em dancing and caine sez "the more we dance the more he egts used to irt"

then a montage of them dancing and steve left out then these sailor navy marines guys see and hsuggest gaving caine sent to honduras tonight

she reveals the had to raise the money as she is only the winner of a soap contest aND HAS NO REAL MONEY AND HER DAD HAD TO SELL THE CAR AND STUFF TO RAISE THE MONEY

f off caps lock, get b0ned dead by the sovietswith aids

shes a kind hearted woman and caine feels for her and tells martin but he still wanmts to do it by saying "1st one to b0ne her wins"\

caine dont like it and sez she'd never b0ne him, and if hes right,m then sartin leaves town

at the mainsionthe sea boys are there and blocking the gate, so when he goes in the truck to see the captain, they grab him and carry him off

steve goews to her apartment and sez he could wealk if she loved him and if his feelings are returned, he can walk

she sez to walk to her and he spaztically stands and stimps to her

he gets her to go to da bed and she sez she'd prove she loves him if he walks to ger

he ret-rdedly walks to her and is gonnas b0ne and caine is in da chain behind them

caine reveals hes in the navy and got the guys to drop him off and has the sailors gold steve mariton

later he getsn chick toi an aerope=]lane and sez he wont charge her and when he gets back, he sees the sailors with chicks and leaving and stev had his hand glued to the wall all night and he didnt sit

caine sez he won and chick left and steve chex her apartment and shes gone but then she comes back as shes gay for him

they make out with mouths and then are gonna b0ne after he closes the door and drapes

then caine in da pool gets a phoine call and minion sez she got off da plaine and are b0ning

he prepares to admit defeat and awaitys the steve martin to returtn and chick comes by all bummed out as steve ditched her after b0ning her and took her money, even the 50000

caine sez hes calling da cops and is gonna pay her missing dough and she sez she dont wnna take his dough but accepts and goes off to classic music like a good 80s film

she runs from da plaine backa dn gives him da money and sez she cant take it and has already much more from him

da cops bring in martin and he sez sher jacked him when he was taking a shower b4 b0ning and he didnt jack her sh-t

in the bag is a note and martins clothes saying "it was fun, im keeping the money, janet the jackle"

later stevve and caine are on a bench in the garden and figger that she was onto em from the start

its almost spetember and hes gonna cklose down some fo the house and they are gonna go off, but some pushy new york toruists come by and and offer a greek guy a hotel investment with the king of austrialia stuff and says its caine, and hsi partnert he cant do w/o is steve whos mute

now shes gonna team up with them as she made 3 million this year and his 50 000 was the most fun

the end

that was fun

it goes by at a good pace

not a million miles a second and good flow

its entertaining and smart and witty but with soem good off color stuff

steve martin is the fuin one like naga and caine is the strZightman whos smart liek lina in slayers

i had a good time and its mostly wholesome with some good humor

a jolly comedy that got me to laugh, mainly at how devolved steve martin was in that 1 part

For Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 2 I want them to be on a scam to find a mosasaur in the sea by where the U Boat sunk but it turns out its real and the movei is them fighting it off and trying to survive as a horror movie, also its a 16 bit game on Seag Genesis, snes,tg16, gba and atari jaguar where you ghotta sail from isalknd to island to get hiome and avoid of fight off the mosasaur with vaious weapons you can pice togetehr and make outta things in the sea like hunted animal bones or usingf chunks of people or animals as bait or lures.