Bloody Chainsaw Girl Review

 Note: I spell like a massacxre of japanese chainsaws

Bloody Chainsaw Girl

This is ore samma no revierw of Bloody Chainsaw Girl from the distant futurew year to nathan bedford forresst of 2016(15 years before transformers battlestars the return of convoy and the 3rd rpobotech war)

I never saw it b4 and its not on soviet candy a55 wikipedia but my wiscopnsion hom,ie wanted me to watch it and i figgered i can review it as its only 76 mins

so it startts with a japanese chck riding a bike in a green town and bumbning into a chick who's head splatters on ther floor

is thisd why they say asians cant drive??

So she asks these 2 punks for help, a chick in a metal face thing and an evil looking dude with a baseball bat, and they ssay she sppoiled their ambush and laugh

the head busted girl stands up all f'd and main chick sez they are cyborg mutantyts aND WE GET THE title whicxh looks like a bleach opening meets madwor;d on wii

also are credits aND IT SHOPWS WHGO PLAYED who andit sez its based on Chimamire Sukeban Chainsaw a manga by Rei Mikamoto and directed by horoki yamAGuchi

its is prettty buttf-kkin widerscreen and in color but this opening is b/w

so main chicj figys the face busted one abnd sez "i got no coice, i dont hate u buty imma do this" and pulls oyrt a cxhainsaW from her guitar bag and slices off mask chicks arm, hen chops through the other 2 b4 de heading the mask one

main chick asks if "she" turned em into cyborgs but mask head sez "we wanted mistress nero to do it" and main chuick gets reasdy to go but a missile goes by her and blows

a cyborg girn has fired it from her arm likew mazinger z or mega man and mask head sez this is sayuri bakutani whjos a cherrleader

mask head wants to be thrown far so she dont get blown but main chick uses her as a hostage thinking the sayurio is masks frimned

sayuri sez she has none and as only a head, mask hAS NO PURPOSE AND KICKS HER AWAU

MAIN CHICK WANTs to kknow what the deal is and sayuri saez punks fight but not cheereleadewrs, then fires bullets from her fingers and main chick blocks wioth chainsaw then uses busted head as a shield b4 fighting her

she asks sayuri whyu join nero as she was a normal chick and she has a naruto flashback of being an innocenrt girl who boys got pphpotos of her uyndies when cheerleading and sold em and spread rumors of her b0ning guys

1 ret-rded guy wants to b0ne her and wears a helmet like he's Chichi in Dragon Ball but she runs, only to keep running into guys witrh her phoptos wantiung her too

so she runs to the bathroom to cry cuz people thought things that wre not trrue and nero came to her and offered her a chance to change things(is this ripping off Cutey Honey with Sister Jill//Panther Zora offering wqronged women a chance for revenge by devolving them?!)

Also she wears a freilly underskirt thats like bloomers ike princess peach wears in super smash bros melee

she poops out missiles at main chick but runs outta ammo and has 2 chicks reload her by putting it in her a55 as main chick laughs

main chick sees no reason to ewwait for her to reach her fiunal forme like dbz and slugs out the helper chicks and chainsawes sayuri

then a head on spider legs but not like the thiung by john carpenrter brinbgs main chcik bandages from nero and she tends her wounds but sayuri is still alive

main chick sews her hand slice closed and we see the rubber flesh and blood and she poops out trhe missile in pain

main chick moves it away and sayuri asks why shes helping an eenmy and is told they aint enemies as punks fight for pride not grudges or complexes

she asks sayuri what nero is up to and isnt responmded to and goes on tro school and this bllonde asian dude has his earing torn out byu a guard who laughs at his victims pain like an italiano in M<el Gibsons The Passion

the guard tells her to keep her chainsAW AT HOMe and she sez itscuz her fam is in the wrecking business and they nearly fiught but this spazzyu chick comes in on leg metal things like extecders for feet and when main chick sez she gets to go through, guard dont wanna get inmvoilved and lets her keep the saw in her bag

a chick with glasses, oh its nero confronts him and he gets suybmissive overher making cyborgs and backs down

then its back in the 1st part and she's talking withn sayuri and when she turns her over, sayuri is wearing an oni mask and waitits not sayuri its an oni or someything and shge ruuns ti school as she diont got time to fight

in school the make up exam testing room is partly f--ked and its only her desk and she sez she skipped breakfasty

the hewad on spider legs brings her a meal with hallf a hard boiled eghg and she eats and flashgbacks to a class where they heard a cat and its neros in a box and her creation

sh3e reveals its a cyborg sand all f'd and on tank treads and rotted but mewing anbd it was some chickjs cat miki(l;ike miki makimura in devilman? imaagine iff Dr Kabuuto or h-ll brought her back as a cyborge?)

1 chick beats nero wiuth a chair liuke its jerry springer or wwf for f---kin up her pet andnero is likw weetf man

teacher sez "stop it! we're in class" and nero b--ches at teacher not to touch her body horror cat but tteacher iis like "u talk to sensei like that?!" andf the clASS TURNS OPN HER and throws cr--p at her

she wanbts revenge on em and openly vows it and as she runs out, bumps into main chick who bada55ly sez "dat hurt(notices cat)wtfs daty?" and nero runs off in the middle of school

main chiuck chases her down and crushes the robocop cat with her bare hands and forcefeeds her it as nero sh-ts herself

jk, but as this movie is mkinda nuts, it soundss like it could happen

after realizing the teavcher is gone she looks for him asnd finmds him sandfd teacher sez her nsame is Giko and he fears nero and her jinzoningern but cxomes sop he gewts paid

she wants to graduate and the oni shows up and teacher throws her the test but the oni throws shuriken at it and akes off the mask tio show a guy that giko remembers is really a girl b4

shhe runs from the sailor starlight ninjja oni and 2 more ninja sjhow up as the zo,mbie ninja clan and she laugfhs at them for being the loser ninja cvlub who threw shuriken in wook and f--ked around likee nerds

they told off guys looking down atrt em but this guy in a helmet who i think might be the ret-rded guy b4 his football career tells em off and they back down

this is how anime clubs are seen by the media when really we are pretty cool and not like that canmdya55 toby in degrassi next gen whohad to cllea womb juice outta his grandmas car

giko recalled laughting at these dinks and how pathetiuc they are like teens thinking they are reincarnated anime characters and they showw a flashback where the gender offender was offfered help by nerto tyo deal with her womb thing by seemingly turn it into a b0nar

she sez her new name is hanzo and hgiko laughs which is kinda like a guy calling himself harriet tubman as its calling yourself someone you liked from history

also; in samuraii shodown hanzo is a real c-ck sucker and in nobunagas ambition i execute him upon capture

she tries to start her chainsaw but it jams and theyt mock her so she nails 1 in the skull wityh it like guts's sword of the berserk

she runs abd tries ti start it anbd battles em as well as naiuling the anti chick in ytnbe face with a knee and running tyo do the exam

this iis a lot like project a-ko with a stroing bada55 chick kicking a55 and showing a55

she goes to shop class and works on her chainsaw but senzzaki the president of shop club comes in and sez shes not a cybporg

in this darkness area ARE PEople caged like a jail  and nero goes through it and talks to inoue whos gonna get huis dads vegetablestore but shes cyberized him and is doing thus for him putting her uniform in theb incinerator during swim class and sge beats him through the fence

nero wants revenge on giko(which is whatr the called goku in dragon ball ewvolution but as geeku or geeko or w/e)

senzaki sez sorry for sdhop clas making weapons as nero forced em to and i realize she's the evil ruler who mutilates people like nero on rome who attacked Christians

giko wants to fix hetr saw to beat the ninja to do the exam and senzakli sez she can help, then we see a fleshback of  nero in a swinssuit in class as her uniform went missimng and her desk has insultts writyen on it

nero looks like a feminbist i notice

so in the now the senzaki fixes her chainsaw and says she heard nero hates giko for being asked a favor and she remembers the rooftop with nero in her swimsuit

but this is interuipted by the ninja and she fights with an upgraded saw that now has a machinegun built in

the nromal gurl ninja nerd attacks without a top and catches the blade between her b00bs and is slicves oper bwteeen em

the oni girly one attacks and hiko used an extendo button that maskes it go out and ice her

shes not dead 100% and wants to avenge her club but giko sez they started it and oni girl sez her club ended cuz of giko as they needed 3 members

she admits to being a chjick and that she didfnt wanna be a dude and wants to takje out anyone who mocked the ninja club

what are you? back door ba rock who had a rodeo clown investigated for wearing a mask of him?

giko sez obsessed people look dumb and people who do so get mocked for it like punks and anime fans and idols and splatter films fans as they are so mental over it

but giko sez this proves how much oni chick loves ninja and punks have crazy style too and oni chick lets her go by

giko does the tedst with sanzaki's help and they are probably gonna be a yuri couple like in abashiri family or re cutey honey or the anime of devilman lady or countgless outher go nagai things

giko hands in the test and but sanzaki wants her to fight nero for turning her club into jinzoningen

giko dont wanna fight as shes got no reason and this reminds me of America not wanting to fight Zee axis in WW2 as "not n=my problem" when the commies wanted em to

sanzaki wants to stop nero b4 the whole school is mutant cyborghs and hgiko imagines it withmanga graphics in color and sez it sounds fun and shes a punk and outsider

sanzaki sez punks are always "im X from X school" so they represent the school even thought everyone hates em

also they secretly  love school and DESPITE COMPLAINING OF IT AND keep coming back for more

plus as neroi has it in for her, giko wants to face her and nero sez on da PA she's been watching jher and asks if giko hates her

alsdo nero has cameras everywhre and asks if she fewwars/hates her but giko sez "i dont know u"

nero sez she shgould haten her and when her hate reaches max she';dfd send gioko to h e doulbe soviety korea

then giko walks in as she knows this is the PA Room ans she was on the PA and laughs

giko sez her homies s-ck and nero runs out saying shes got no chums and they follow her to the undetground like the 20s phgantom of the opera where theres human pieces like uncut season 2 of robotech that are totally android parts

giko interrogates 1 f'd guy and he sez nero is on da roof and  as thery go up theyu see zombie cyborgs that giko  cuts the intestines out of while showing her undies like riki-ohj meets agent aika

she fures on them with the chainsaw gun and cleaves 1 guy who was the ret-rded guy in the helmet in 2 and shanks another and trhe halllway is a mess of blood and organs

so on da roof they face the boss and nero wants to talk about howe ithistory repeating again

giko remembers nero on da roof in a swimsuit and wiping away rtears

gikpo comes on and as nero goes giko sez she can stay but walks off

gikoo thinks nero hates her for kiocking her off the roof but nero sez  think harder

in another flashback nero is on the ground and giko on roof sez to tell her something

nero sez she did sometjhjing terrible and giko sez to forget it and sanzaki wants to know

in da fleshback she sez nero has a cute face and wants to know how to kiss and then nevermind, keepo it betwen us

nero brings out a chainsaw with the people from senzakis club absorbed  into it as plastic skulls and its like power rangers meets some m,etal band

they get inbjected with soimething by nero and wanna kill giko like the 1st century nero who turned people agianst the christians

this chainsaw of the dead is powered by hatred like some bad care bears or wedding peach thing

hiko sez chainsaws are made to cut and her rets are wreckers and stop wasting time and causing trouble

they power up theitr saws and evantually fight and giko uses her ranged attack but its blocked and after a clash, her arm is cut

sanzaki attacks with a drill and is knocked back and nero retracts her blades to say "imma kill u slow" and brings em out again(whats the poiunt?!) but girly oni attackll with shuriken and jumps in

she sez sorry but her soul was saved by giko and gikos not the enemy and the ninja club dont want giko to die

also the oni ninja chick wants her to join the ninja club

nero charges and oni ninja vanishes like its f--kin batman and leaves a coat then attacks from the other soide with kunai that are sent back at her

giko attacks but is cut and when nero swings to finish her, ini chick gets cliced down the chin to crotch by stepping in

then sayuri is there and has snaZAKI AT FINGER GUN POINT, then aims her canon arm at nero and sez shes not on either side but wants a cease fire and nero to stop this fighting

with sanzaki hsotage if the shop club bites it, tnbe nero has no weapons but like f--kin violence jack, nero scuts down sanzaki with a chainzaw

sayuri tries to reason with nero as they have a lot n common and are like sisters but this triggersd nero and she says a code that will self detonate sayuri as she hid it in all her cyborgs

like the joker in the dark knight or megaton in beat machines

she'd blow her now but if she gets giko, nero will rebuild them

sayuri sez when they reunite in h-ll she wants em to all be friends and jumps off the roof and blows with an arm landing near em

i assume that will be useful, checkovs arm

nwero dont care and can rebuild her different but giko thinks of her as a sister and friend

nero dont wanrt connections or friends and wilkl anyone who defueies her

then a flashback of giko saying nero is pretty and must have experience in kissing and if anyone find out she'd be discredited as a punk

also as both are skkipping class they are kinda friends and this trigfgers her and she wants to be a conquerer asnd goes on a b-tchy tirate and if she had a friend her conquerewr revenge mojo would be f;d

she send those cuyybogrs to make giko hate her and has some devolved high school plan of revenge and sh-t and grand delusions

giko sez shes just lonley and this triugger sher and she attacxks but the dameon saw sez they dont hate giko and it stops working

giko pickes it up and ignores her arm wound and beats on nerofor a bitand slaps her like a p-mp, then smooches her and sez "now we kissed so we're close" then chainsaws through her ansd sez she dont forgive her

she then pulls out a chuck of her flesh and starts eating it and making ret-rded soulnds and faces

jk really she goes to see senzaki and wait, no just goes homeand leaves the bodues and the not ddead senzaki up there

her dad or bro or w/.e is in his japanse pickup truick and she sez she thinks she naiuled the make up test

family guy sez stregnth isnt everythign in beign a wrecker like ultra magnus and she needs a license to dino might nuildings

also she is covered in blood and has the hand of the sayuri and her family guy dont find it wried as thius is japan and this is normal there with all their violent p0rn0 manga

they go hoime and the camera goeds to the sky and we get credits to uypbeat ddr style msuic

the end

ythjat was fun

crazy silly violent fun with a good message

nice characters and themes and goood style

its got heart and good gore and is like something go nagai would like

reminds me of Oira Sukeban/Sukeban Boy from 2006 that i wanna see as its really f'd up and fun

this is only over a few hours with a few flashbacks and is kinda like the 2010s judge dredd movie

another day in a crazy world

this is how you do a womens movie

not with losers like bridesmaids or thew bad ghostbusters

but with wiinners and action and babes and fun and heart

plus the gore is pretty goodf and cheesy but not as fake as riki-oh the story of ricky

for Bloody Chainsaw Girl 2  I want nero to have revealed to have cyberized her brain and her head spluts iopen and it comes out on a robot pod and jacks into a metal body to continue her work.then its a month later and she has made a body like a scorpion but with wings and 4 human legs and her torso from the waist up from the socripons center body. also she has cyberized the remaining studeinds into her army and send sem after hiko and shes gotta take emn on with sayuri haviing given her chainsaw more upgrades. also its a 128 bit 3d hack and slach game on sega dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox where you play as gimo and slice through waves of guys and collect parts for stronger combos and find hidden power up things to make ytou stronger and yo face bosses in open arena's liek castlevania legacy of darkness on n64.