Cripple Creek Review

 Moye' io spell crippled

Cripple Creek

This isd my review on Cripple Creek from tyhe distyant future year, to the Right Honorable John Wilkes Booth, of 1952(70 years before Robotech 2 The Sentinels)

its directed by Ray Nazarro who did nothing i seen

it stars George Montgomery from black patch, Jerome Courtland from Santa Fe, Richard Egan from Blackbeard the Pirate/Demetrius and the Gladiators, John Dehner who amnimated disney in the 40s and was in Tulsa/Apache/the 60s Twilight Zone/The Boys from Brazil\Airplane II: The Sequel, Roy Roberts from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\The Big Trees\Santa Fe, George Cleveland from Angel on My Shoulder, and a few guys from the 1900s i never saw in anything

i never saw this but its 78 mins so on Grit its gonna go to 2 hours with adds

so after logo title and credits, in proper fullscreen and lite color, we get narrator saying in 1892 a coweboy found gold and in a 1 year there was a gold rush and people died with violenced like in canada under candya55 trudeau

also the gangs jacked gold from wagons like its f--kin mad max and took da ore

the poeple say to tell the gov as they always solves issues in good ways, right???

also the country's gold reserrve went low in the panic of 1893 and the prez put an embargo on soem sh-t

then we get bret ivers aka iverson whos a crook or something and is chased to texas and the crew after him turns back except main guy who goes after him

so main guy meets ivers and is his friend and theresa another guuy there whos rich and they want him to helkp solve the cripple creek thing

the gangs are smuggling gold outta da country as the gov made it illegal to buy gold  or w/.e and i think ivers is actually a good guy

oh ivers is not a crook but fakes it and is gonna go undercover in the gang

so its night anbd they go to town and see guys talking of how they wanna get paid for the last 3 raids and the owner sez hthey get bpaid when he egts paid and the workers cant quit

the deo i mean duo come tothe salloon and meet silver kirby and he sez they have no rooms left

kirby lets themmm have a room a guy cancelled on and the 1 chick in this film shows em the way

in da salloon, the raiders and not paul revere, wanna do their own thing instewad of wwaiting for pay and wait outside for kirby to come out

they catch him as the duo watches and use kirby to get in the money room and steal da gold

butthe dfuo j fk them after jumpimng down and save the money from the crooks

they say theysaw the hold up and are antio soviet texas heroes who play fair and dont like 4 on 1

the undertaker(not the wwf guy) comes in and is a creepy a55 peter lorre c-ck sucker and offers an undertaking and ivers i think ta;ks with chick

the duo is made the honored guesrts of the hotel and the towmn heads talk on how something might be up  with these texas dudes comming by at da riught time

they have the shheriff contact texas for the facts on gun fighters in there to see about the duo

also they mention southern hospitality, which nowadays would be called "racist" but i got frinds in the south and soem from texas and they are nice friendly folk

in da hotel room, the duo rerturtns and bret tell off main guy over ppossibly f ing ther case and the agent or w./e is guiding them sez he lead the kirby or w/e the idea they are random gundifhter slooking for a break

also he htells the duo of the stats on the raiders and otehr things the bads are upto

a wagon come sby and they put out the lightsd and look outsider and its clearly sday but tinted to be night

wait they went out on horses and its night day and follow it

also agnet is strap and main guy is larry like the cabel guy or the cxucumber

they see the wagon being loaded with bafgs and ridden off and raise bandannas over their faces as no one can tell who it is with the same clothes or horses and chase after wem firing

the wagonman whips bret but he catches it like tk in digimonm season 2 and pulls him off and theiy fight

after beating him  out the bretand the larry take da gold wagon and go off as the wagonman wakes up

they hide the gold in a deAD SHAFT, WHICH IS A HOLE IN THE EARTHS A55

totally not like violence jack manga with eldorado and ryuu takuma and the guirrila high guys and the gold

at da salloon, strap goes by gillis and sez he's gonna keep tabs on the duo and wagonman cooems by and sez he got f'd

the duo comes by and wagonman regognizes the  belt buckle on 1 guiy and they say "we donty know it was urs, we can give it back"

thern some rednecks come in and 1 sez they found gold in an empty mine and its the gold the deuo took

the duo sez they will get it back and work with him but wagon man is wary of working with them but kirby sez to try em out

redneck is chicks dad and he tells her he knows its the stolen ore and he sed it was found so as to get the robbers to try to take it to send sthe sherriff after em

this si egttting deep

they are all faking it and wearing masks and tryign to trick the others

later stal or w/e the gillis name is oh strap tets Z note sayting someone thinks ivers is a stool pidgeon and weait iuts the sherrif and he gives the note to the kirby room to be picked up by him

strap sees it asnd pockets it and goes off saying he has an errand and when kirby comes by the note is gone

wagonman i think sez gillis strap weas the last guy in there and now is out and they go to the marshall

redneck gives the gold to the marshall and marshall sez he wants to go alone and let the raiders get it and follow em and get the rest

after marshall goes, redneck goes off after him on his a55 donkey and ses marshall working with the raisers at a sign for buena vista, which proves didney is evil

after some 1800s jive from fedneck he goes off on his a55 and starap stops and reads and burns the letter

he talks with marshall about how the duo are gov agents and strap pulls a gun on marshall and is gonna send him to jail to be b0ned for 20 to life

marshall pulls a gun like a dumba55 and is quickly iced but then kirby and i think wagonman shoot the straps hand and he drops his gun

muthbusters proved that shooting a gun outta a mans hand would destroy the hand

they ask him of the letter anmd he sez what letter? but they bring him in and say "da sherrif dited in the line of duty"

so the duo it told to go home but they sneak around and follow em to thisilumber yward, whisch is probably where the final batltle is as they didnt have fatorys in the 1800s

they look aorund and see how this place used to provcess silver ore and now they use it for gold and ship it out

in the base, the strap is fuggered oiut to be a gov agent but denies being with the duo

so kirby sez hes fggonna load 1 bulllet in the gun, spin it and if he dont answer right,m he fires, if he does, he lets him go

and you can trust him

he feeps pulls the trigger on him and no bullet and strap dont change his story

he lepts him go and as he leaves he caps him in da back like its T Men and they guy who wortks for da gov got found out

the duo retuns and kirby sez the strap was a gov agent and told them everythiogn and they act like they aint connected

liem or ivers or we/e he was sed the note was for him and he burned another letter or the one here or something, im not sure

larry feels bummed and figgers that if he was told he might jump in as hes the hothead

kirby sez he thinks the duo is ok but hes not 100 percent

ther duo sez now they lost their contact that wwas strtap and they got no warnings now and 1 has to check the mine

they then see redneck loudly saying to hick who has little to do here as this isnt a modern movie that showehrons in women too be the hero, about how hes going to the authoriteis

the duo sees a chance and they offwscrteen capture redneck and use this as a chance to stay outta sight and have 1 sneak out to buena vista

then they tell chick that they got kirby thinking they are raiders and hid rredneck in a cabin but as a cover, they kinda told the truth both ways

i cant say it right but its deep

wait, i think im trying to say they got kirby thuinking they stored him in a cabin, which is true, but the raisdeers thing is true and not what they told kirbby

so larry watches redneck as brulk ivers or w/e looks around the ore minines and nearly gets gorund upo in the grinder

he sneaks around and through machinery that would chop him upo in 1 wrong move

1 guy dumps the liquid ore and scoops the liquid gold in a think to brick it as he hides under the table

all done without wortds like a 20s film

1 guy i think wagonman sez they are taking a train to letfield and ivers sees a sighn sayuying poier 63 fsanfracnsickio

he sneaks back out and to the cabin and redneck is dumping on the confederates and fought for the unionites

ivers sez they are plating the gold to look like lead and sending it out and is gonna send redneck to soviet denver to be b00ned by potheads as they legalized chronic in around a century and a bit

so in pier 63 in soviet san fran sodom, theres a shipment going to shangai and giving the gold to CHI NA like its bi den or ba rock or candya55 truedeau!

larry checks the mail and finds a china name and interferes with the mail and finds a message translated by a gov chinese that sez "wehen you get this, fulfill all obligations" as in pay up

its gonna arrive in 2 days as mail wasnt devolved back then as i think this was before the unionites took over

ivers gets a mail and comes in to wait, its not ivsers and he sez the letter sez ivers was the gov man, noit strap and kirby xzez he wants to see ivers and send smen for him

the men get to da cabin aND THERE SNO ONE THERE

it blows apart and the wood spikes shred the riders as thir organs spill out

jk really larry returns and they confront him and he sez the redneck rann out and he was guhunting him

he swings at them but gets beat out and iovers rteturns and finds larrys hat and outside he sees wagonman who sez to come with him and get paid

wagonman sez to come with him and when ivers sez there was a fight in there and asks how the man is, wagonman sez hes the same as usually and cussing everyone

this tips off ivers as he knows redneck is gone

so kirbvy has tierd up and beat up larry and larry didnt give him jack sh-t and fdigegrs its ok too do the pay off

as ivers gets tyo the door, he puills a gin on wagonman, makes him go on 2qst, throwes him on em and pulls guns on em

then has em throw doen their guns with left hands and sez ur underr arrest

a fight breaks out agnd when main ivers beats out wagonman, he falls in the casino nmight zone and a brawl starts there

they fight and wait it wadnt wagonman who went in the casino as he's on the dfloor ands grabs ivers and they vbrail

redneck i think isnt fighting nbut maiing a big a55 saNFWICH

LARRY GETS GUNS AND TAKES KIRBYNAND GUYS IN AND HE AND f off caps lock get b09ned in the moth by a horse

so they  reveal that kriby and friends are the raiders and wait, kirby is out and they go affter him and send the goon to jail

they go tro the chinese launfdry and think the chick might be in on it

they reveal that kirby is actually chinese on his moms side and sides with them and he pulls a gun i think and chick caps him after a bag he paid her with of gold is thrown at him

the girl was in on it and goes to jail and i think kirby ws her husband but this is hard to follow as its going kinda fast and the duop goes off after a mission was done

also the godn to chi na was stopped and the goood guys won

the end

that was pretty good

a bit hard to follow but they packed a lot in some parts

goodf action and twsits and writing

good double and triiple plays with shadows between shadows

no tacked on love story and forcved romance or overdone sad momen

its a good fulm and they'd probably make the gaijin look like the "oppressed ood guys" and the Americans as trhe "evil oppressors" now

plus its fullscreen and has nice but kinda fadedc color

also theres no cripples nor creeks

for Cripple Creek 2 I wasnty there bad guy getting capped to startr an international incident with china and Amercia and things escalate into a war, but America has developed steam powered mech exo suits that they fight with by thomas edison and nikola tesla, but traitors to the Americans have spold it to the enemy and they have mech suits too. Also its a 32/64 bit stratefgy game like Advance Wars on sega saturn/ps1/n64/3D0/Gba where you play as Amercia facing the chinese and going toward them as they attempt to use a drill to make contact with the inner world of the hollow earth to access the daemons within