The Man From Snowy River Review

 Notew: I spelll Snow White but niot the 20020s live action remaKE

The Man from Snowy River

tHIS IS mY REVIRW ON The Man From Snowy River the distant fiture year to clarkl gabnel of 1982 (The year the japanese version of season 1 of robopptech came out)_

its directal bty George T. Miller who diid The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter which I didn';t hate

it stars Tom Burlinson from the 1980s cartoon 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea/the 80s cartoon The Hunchback of Notre Dame, kirk douglas fropm 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea\Spartacus\The War Wagon\the tb movie Inherit the Wind\The Simpsons\Touched by an Angel/Posse/Along The Great Divide, Jack Thompson (not the video game guy) from Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones\Australia\the 2013 The Great Gatsby, Tony Bonner (tee hee ) from , Quigley Down Under, Chris Haywood from Farscape/Quigley Down Under, Gus Mercurio from The Blue Lagoon\the 90s show Flipper, andf a buncha outehr kangaroo monkeys who i never saw in anything

this was made in soviet asustralia where they have high censorship and big gov

its like a more devolved and gayer canada

at least they aint as bad as those new zealanders, someone otta nuke em, they are surplus to requirements

the new Zealanders banned power rangers cuz the gov thinks the people cant handle it

can thery/them handle care bears? i mean no heart was scary to me, when i was 5!

this is based on a poem from the 1890s and was filmed in 1920 but that probablyu dont exist anymore

it got good reviews and people in the 80s liked it but nwowADAYS P the girly mena nd beta males might whine about it cuz its "offensive"

then again, I never saw this so Imma give it a fair chance as usual

so after a logo and its in widescreen and colored, these guys in a cabin talk australian instead of real human and eat

1 goes to da barn and his horse spazers oiut and theres a swarm of horses racing elsewhere

i guess the packs ki is reacting and the dad is gonna shoot em but the son wantys to catch em but dad sez the horses are too used to being free like in the 1sdt world but dad goes with it

then title and crtedits

do they/them have snow in soviet austrtalia? i though tit was a desert wasteland and had soccer games where peoiple p-ssed in cups and spilled it when they did the wave

so later son is chopping a tree with dad and i didnt knwo they had those there and thought it was a deseret wasteland and had roaming canbnniblas

nowadays they/them would whine about "muurdering" tyhe alleged viurgin trees

then the horses swarm and their horse spazzed out and breaks a chain its holding and a log the chain held breaks and swings back and busts dad

the spazzy horse snapped his leg and they gotta put a bullet in him back when candya66 australia could own guns instead of only the black market guys having em

cuz banning guns works, like bamnning drtugs, make a  lawe against it, and no onbe does it

so hsi dad gets it and its 1888 and after a service offscreen, waity, is this, iron will? the alaska movie or w/e?

you can dance if ytou want to, you can have your iron will, cuz if friends dont dance, when you wanna dance, then its, those friends you kill

so son goesx with kurk douglass and wait, kirk and his men wanna take over but son sez he ownes it

the not cowboys leave and son sexz they blamed him for dad getting sent to the stars and kurk goes back wirth son and kurk has a pehg lehg

they talk of girlds and cr=-p and how son wants to get back this horse that got away

kurk shows son a mountain hortse and give it to him and in town is another kurk douyblass w/o a beard whos from America

hes here to getta colt but not a fire arm but an aniamsl horse

this big black horse like kokuto go from gokuto no ken spazzes out asnd the kirk saves tyhis chick from it amd the son is there but i didnt recognize him

son handfles the horse and this lawyer thanks him as  lqwweyer workdsa for america kurk ANDS son wants to work for him

in this mine beard kirk works and this guy names clancy tracked him and talks about him looking for el dorado like that go nagai manga god =mazinger and iolence jack

they are homieds and shaved kirk hires son and i went to refill my water and mnissed some but chicxk and son grow ckloserover farm work

kkurk shave came in annd i think has a connewctuion to herand son knows how to tie a certain rope

kurk wants chick to be a real lady and be a good wife and mother but she's been f'd by feminism and thinks its "bad" to have A FAM

you otta fatten her uyp like the africans do so she's be more femninine for marriage

later the workers playy cards and talk of clancy commingfg and hes a horse master but not like a brain mASTER IN transformers

son knows clancy as his dad ws his hoimieand the devolved australiabnbs laugh like its funny cuz they/them dont got couls

so the klan sea comes and greets son and sez sorry about his dad

laater its dinner and shave kirk sez he went went and so west he came to back door candy a55 australia and made his money in beef

this feninist goes malcontent and chick agrees and shaded kirk sez they are ruining things and women shoulsdnt be lawyers(well, he got it right about judges)

cl;ancy bickers wuitH shaved kirk over cattle and thosae moustacghe dude setles things wiuth a toiast

son comes in with wood and they ask if he thinks on taming the mountains but he sez they'd better off hold back the tide

clancy asks of klirks brother and he sez he has none, but not litererery  but more like "hes dead to me"

son is topld hes staying back from the mission but he sez his horse is a mountain horse and knows the area better but orders are orders aand if ur just followquing orders, it justiufies anything

hee's bhummed he cant go on the mission and  the ahaved kirk goes off with em

son cant take it and gets his gun and puts it in his mouth and ays "one way out" and his head blows

jk really feminist trauins chick to play piano and be a pianist aND son brings in the tea

feminist invites him in for tea cuz they didnt have pop yet and goes to get another cip but not a proptective one that goes on your man parts

they complaIN OF the higher ups having em do cr-0-p like be a lady or butler

sons mom taught him some piano b43 buiiting it and chick never knew her mom which explains why she went feminist, like the girlky men not having good dads

later in da barn son feeds his horse or a horse and  chick sez curly wants to break in houerrses but somn sez u gotta  be kind to emn to tweach em

but animals don't get words, only fists!

kurk wont be baxjk for days so she has sion teach iu mean tame da horse in a piano montage dragon in attqwckl mode

they gropw closer so i assume they'l; fall in love and have a diispute but get back togerther and  get married, then have 500 babies and repopulate australia after the nucular holosost

spo he tamed da horse and chick playeed piano and uut sounds lie a 70S OR 80S TV OPENING

ayt night this big black horse spazzes out around this cliff at night in the moon loking like a daemon

in the day time the horse swarm goes around aand it spaszzes out blackie and son rifes him and jumps a fench but falls off and the horses trample him

see you in h-ll candy a55!

then this 1 black horse jumps up and stands on its rear legs for too long, then it ffreezes and zooms in on his head and cuts to black

wtf happened?! did it b0ne him?

later hes in bed and chick helps him and sez the crew covered up hisa a55holian act but he dont want women to cover for him and shge goes mental

eelsewhere, shaved kurk iis drivinghh cattle and retyurns and son sez he fell off a  horse

kurk sez to go out and get the lost horses therr dudes left and son goees out and meets beard kurk and asks of his bro

they talk of chick and saon wants to quit but beardo sez at the 1st snow the animals go somewghere and laater son goos oof to the snowmountains like in dewmon lord dante but less snow

he still wants to find the horse that ran off or something and on da fartm, shaved kuirk chex out blackie and sees somethings there and askks chick

he saw signs it was f;d with and rode and askks her who and she sez son tried to get these hotses in the sewrmnm

chicj goes mental when shaved kirk sez to fire soin whhen he gets back and kirk gives her a slap to stop her b--ching and sez shes f'd like her mother

she swings at him but he catches it and bends her armn in a lock and sez "i'll fix you like i did her" and starts b0ning her as she screams!

jk reallyy shge runs out and feminist whines about him being meaner to her than his horse and feminist is his woans sister

chick rides off and wait, we're like half way in, that didnt feel like it

son goes where the beasties go in snow and gets the lost cattle and brings em in

chick wanders around in the wiild and the wind is going while son eats by a fire

so then its raining and looks kinda like a 90s thing and she falls down a hill and the hordse runs off to be eaten by a yowie

kurk wanmts the men to save his daughter but thewyu're druiink cuiz  thewy are descended by people too evil even for back door endlAND AND WHEN CHICK WANKES UP SHES ON THE LEDGE OF A CLIFF

f--k ooff and die in h-ll caps lockl you c-ck sucking sunnova b--ch,m y5-0 years ago we'd have you upside down wiith a f--kin forkm in yo a55

so son finds chicks item and looks for her and fiinds her dead horse and the shaved kirk leaves his cr-ppy evolved men to find her

kurks men cant find trax after da raUIN AND son somehow finds andf sdaves her

she tells him hes canned but she don't wanna go back cuz she wants to be with him and its what she thought of on the cliff facing her end

he wants tio bring her back and dont care of the mnen in danger looking for her or other responsibility cuz shes a chick and theyy dont think logically

also this kindfa prtoves kirk right about em as lawyers

well, at least she knows she is a woman and what a woman is

they smooch with consent and probably b0ned in the real version and hhave romance dialogiue on ahorseback and rtide on with another smooch

in a mine, beardo yells and the cr-ppyy thing caves in on his stumpyy a55 but he sees something and is glad

son and chick comes by beardoes place and she dont know him and hes not there and son goes to check the creek as chick goes inside and sees a photop that looks like her

beardo comes in happy cuz he found something and sees chick and stops and sez "matilda, i found da gold"

she sez shes jessica like the guy who did new cutey honey and son reveals its her uncle

she wonders whats going on and son has beardo bring her home and son would bring the horses back

kirk reveals he riases sopme cattle and son shaved kirk finds a notre from son sayiong shes safe and headed home

feminist sez how 2 guys loved her mom and she sez the 1st to make a fortune win her and shaced kirk bet on a long shot horse and won and beardo went to find gold

beardo hits on a chick and she hits him with a wood thing and son comes in and a main sez to bearder to get out b4 bro comes back as its hard to film 2 kirks in 1 scene

shaved kirk returns and rteconsiles with chick and sez sorry and thanbks son for it and talks with him of how son loves cjhick

kirbk dont think hes good enough for her and tells him to choose to go and son sez "u bast-rd" and beardo comers in

its revealed shaved kirk shot off his leg and shaved kirl is disgruntled

feminist sez beardo bought wife a horse and shaved didnt like it and let it loose and when beardo talked with her of it, shaved misread it and flipped out and blew off his leg, later wife ditched kkirk after she pooped out his kid

also the horse let free leads the swarm like with kokuoh go in hokuto no ken and its f--king things up

also son tells chick it wont work and leaves

kirk and beard kirk bicker over beardo turning her against him and shaved asks whos kid she is but beardo sez she's shaved and leaves

in the shed, son gets ready to go andf curly mouths off to him and son slugs hoim so 1 guy grabs son andf curlyy breaks a beer bottle and is gonna knife him but 1 guy pulls a gun on curly and sez "lose tyhe bottle" and curlyy thrtows it away and they fight

main guy beats the black offa curly and tells gun guy he's welcome at his place anytiome

son goes and later, 2 workersa are gonna do something to the blackie and let it loose to be eaten by a Bunyip

later its joined the swarm and kurk wants to gte the klancy on it

later iyts night and beardo sez son gets half the mine from his dad having a half share in it and drink but klancy comes by and howls like a furryy in bed or a dingo or both as dingo sodomingo and tells em of how the blackie joined the swqarm and they are going after it and offers him a chance to join em in regetting it

son sez no and is told shaved kurk blames son

then its day aGAIN AND THE  MEN GEAR UPO AND die in a f--king fire you c-cck sucking caps lock, i doint need you, you are suirplus to requyuiorements begione yyou sub human animal, get f'd dead by magic johnson and his aifs filled b0ner!

so kirk gets a posse togetrher and that didnt workwell in thatr other western, but here he's going foir a horse not a man

son comes but kirk shaved sez no but clancy ssez he asked him sand kirk sez yes

kirk offers 100 pounds as a reward to be divived among em as they like and they race off as son goes on a cr-pmobnile horse

beardo comes by and has a bottle of bvoose ort spurm to look after the women

hes a likable guy but is an amputee and the abel one is malcontent

so the horsese men searm after the wyld stallions and they run until they get to the clancy who has a whiup and kokuoh go leader horse spazzes out and they run

one by one guyys get picked off and its all action and no words like a suilernt film

they get to a river and horses swim across with riders on em and son is catching up and rides off a cliff and rides it dowbn a hill after the wild stallions

so looking like back to the future 3, son chases the horses and wtyf theres suddnly snow like in 10 000 bc hiow hes in the jublge next to the ice cap

they stoip and look at erach other sand its like youngblood how the kid takes onb the dark hairy guy who busted him b4

son gets the whip and kirk shaver returns and then does son wiith the horses after an offscrteen battle

see? animals dont understand words, they understand fists, and the whip is a fist on a sting!

son sez he didnt do it for kirk and he's ghet his horses he caufgght later and dont want the 100lkbs and will be back for his other things

kirk sez shes not for him but beardo kirk sez hes noit a kid and son sez  she can make her own mind

somn ridfes off and to prepare for another adventure and credits roll to epic music

the end

thjat was pretty good

nicve fipming aand style

good efdfects and acting and music

tells a good story

nice messages and characters

works well asnd has a good flow and dont drag

i liked it, it holds up

for The Man From Snowy River II I want son to get the gfs dad to let him marryy rthe chick if he does some feat, like hwrcules l;abors, but thinking he'd never do it, dad sends him to catch the Papinijuwari, a giant that has 1 eye ansd lives on the egde of the horizion, so he goes around collecting ancient tech from the tribal enders to reach it, then go to their realm with the ancients tech and take one on, but when he gets it back, the dad eats it and devolves into some kinda aboimionation with bug legs and bones growing out of all over its purple and black flesh body and has to take it on, also its a 16 bit metroidvania game on sega ganesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba wherte you play as him and go from area to area doing missions for the elders to earn the piece of ancientech and  travelling from area to area on horse wagon stations.