Moby Dick Review

 note; i spell like  whale d0ngz

Moby Dick

Tjisd is my review on Mopduy Dibk from the disastant fiuture year to joghn hustains dad of 19654 (50 years bneforte Transformers season 3)

its duirected by the excellent john huston whjo did The Maltese Falcon\Key Largo\The Red Badge of Courage\The African Queen\Beat the Devil\The Night of the Iguana\The Bible: In the Beginning...\Wise Blood

its written by Ray Bradbury who did It Came from Outer Space\Fahrenheit 451\The Halloween Tree and a buncha twlight zone eps

It stars Gregory Peck from The Yearling/Duel in the Sun/Captain Horatio Hornblower/David and Bathsheba/The Snows of Kilimanjaro/Roman Holiday/Moby Dick/Cape Fear/How the West Was Won/To Kill a Mockingbird/The Omen/The Boys from Brazil/ the 90s Cape Fear/Ther Big country/yellow sky/The Stalking Moon\MaCKENNAS gOLD, Richard Basehart froom the 50ss Titanic\The Twilight Zone\Little House on the Prairie, Leo Genn from  Rhodes of Africa\Pygmalion\The Snake Pit\Quo Vadis\Plymouth Adventure, James Robertson Justice from Captain Horatio Hornblower\David and Bathsheba\The Guns of Navarone\Dr. Crippen\Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Harry Andrews from Solomon and Sheba\Equus\Watership Down\Superman 1, Bernard Miles from Tom Thumb, Edric Connor from the 60s King of Kings, Mervyn Johns from Storm in a Teacup\Scrooge, Francis de Wolff from Scrooge\Ivanhoe, Philip Stainton from The Quiet Man,  Royal Dano from The Red Badge of Courage\The Rifleman\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\the 60sKing of Kings\7 Faces of Dr. Lao\Moon of the Wolf\Cahill U.S. Marshal\Planet of the Apes the show\The Outlaw Josey Wales\Little House on the Prairie\Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Orson Welles from Citizen Kane\Jane Eyre\The Third Man\Othello\Mr. Arkadin\Touch of Evil\the 60s King of Kings\History of the World, Part I\The Transformers: The Movie, John Huston from The Bible: In the Beginning\butt f--kin Myra Breckinridge\Battle for the Planet of the Apes\The Wind and the Lion\Wise Blood, Frazer Hines from X the Unknown\candy a55 soy boy devolvingh Doctor Who, and a buncha guys i never saw in anything or aint on sodom bottom wikipedia

John huston wanted his dad Walter Huston to be ahab but he bit it beforte fiilming and they got peck

Itsd about a 1930s detective named moby whop solves a crime by arthur habb who runs a crime organization

jk really its about whale hunters and is based on a book by "pee wee" herman melville i never  read but heard has gayness

i saw this years ago but dont recall much, but i did see the 1930s ver whjere ahabv gets the whaLE ND IT newgates the meaning of the story

I think my dad read me the classics illustrated comic book of this in the 90s

its based on real whalers who were caught in a whale attack and had to survive in the sea by eating each other

after crediyts and title to olde timeyt images we get isgaem walking along nature and saying he needed money andwent to the sea and rambles on about the sea

he went to new bedford in 1841 and in a bar some devolved guys say he needs perm,ission to sail and hunt the thing

is this a uynion thing where you need to sell your freedom to the collective to get anything and submit to their desires??

so the devolved guys say whjales are f'd and ahhab goes by and everyone fears him

later hes in the dark going to bedand this dude comes in with a cableand has a shrunken head

he hips ouut a bong and starts smoking reefer chronic and making loud whoops

jk realluy hes all tattooed like a yakuza guy or lcommie or feminist and goes to bed only to fibd a guy is in it and nearly chjops him up

hes a cannibal or gaijin or something and the team crew tells em the gasijin was selling heads in town

at churech the priest Orson Welles tells the stry of Jonah and the Whale, whivch 1 account sas thje "belly of the fish" was a term for beiing lost at a part of the sea at a lightlss night or something

after church cannibal queeqwag is helped by ishmawl to read and tells of his family being tribalisms and they becme friends and not butt buddies as they dont b0ne

the next day ish and qwe go out smndf see thinbgs made of wwhale parts andd go to sign up fr a whaleing and hear of ahab getting f'd up by a wjale and such

they are asked if hes a piirate or killer and he sez no so they acxcept him and ish asks of the Biblical King Ahab who was evil

just cuz a guy has the same name as a bad guy dont mean hes bad

otherwise we'd stop naming people joseph after joe stallion or joe mengele or joe bid en

so the ship loads upwith cr-p and live pigs theyare gonna b0ne and 1 guy tells that ahabs mom named him that cuz hes evil and some other hotrroor movie cr-p like him being cursed like muchael myers or The Jersey Devcil

the wanderewr sez not to go as ahabns last mission got f'd and leaves em after warning em

i told my rents not to get da needle and they didn't believe mem then after getting baclk, ad in a wavery voice; ohhhhh i'mn devolved!

after sailing out and a rundown of all theese characters including a black guy who ate a lion he iced and an indian who hunts wale instead of buffalo and a caerpenter who fixes limbs and items

at night ahab walks the deck with his wood leg thumping

later they look ip and see ahab and hes got a whale bone leg  and is stoic and firm like Kenshiro or something

hee grilles em on what to do if they see a whale and tewlls em to search for the White Whale and offers a spanish gold coin to the one who finds it and nails it to the pole

he tells em the WhiteWhsail is moby dick and ate his legs and it f'd his soul; andnow he wants revenge

he gives em a drinbk that if i were writing it, would have parasites in it so he'd give em negators to keep em loyal and if they steppped outtsa line, he'd withhold it and let em suffer

then has em swqear to find it or God would get enm

is this a UNION THING? uniiting against a common percieved foe and going down together?

so the guys talk of moby dick, based on a real white wghale called mocha dick, which is NOT a p0rno but a wgale of the mocha slands that lived over 100 years

they caught it in the 20th century or something

you know, the sea is tyerrifdying, its a bklundless abyss, an infnite void, they lose your mody in it, iut aint commin back, might as well be in space

plus theres all those sea daemons and unidsentiofued sunberged objects in it

we claim to know more of the moon than the seam, and 1 part found this 100 footr long spine of some inknown creatire in it

its not a whale, the sea guys who found it know what thats like

so the crew goes off to hunt a wghale and get it with a hook or harpoon and it pulls the boat instead of going under to get em off

1 guy falls off and the whalers cut the rope like the european union cutting greece loose after it devpolves the united ecxonomy

so da boat gets the whale and shanks it dead and then we see em boiling the whale lard and chunks into oil to power America and the eurotrash

after using the flesghh they chucked the bones in the sea and statbuck goers to se ahab and fills him in on the advanncement

ahab sez thery going to the pacifdica northwest from graviy falls all thiocc and top heavy after a lot of surgery and getting into bimbo tf

ahab has a chart of where the whgales go and loooks for spurm whales

Sailor J: Hay! This whale tastes like your Spurm! Sailor B: Chomp! Ur right1 but lets make sure(j=rked off on the floor and eats it) Yeah! Thats' the same! Sailor J: I have an idea! (J=rs off B and blasts the goo on the whale meat) Now we get both!  The story of why they are called: Spurm Whales!)

so ahab planned out their migration cource and plans to meet him at a place on aporl

starvbuxck sez hes here for wehalinmg and not to hunt this 1 whale nd ahgab sez he'd hit the sun if it insulted him

whales might be smart but animals dont understand words, they understand fists!

also dolphins are the jeffery dahmers of the sea as thewy kill animals for fun, raepe people and practice sodomy

and all these soyt boy candy a55 vegans and soviet lovers act like Japan eating em is "bad" cuz they "are smart"

the nazies were smart1 they had science and tech! they did evil too!

the zodiac killer was smart! he got away with it!

just cuz something is smart dont mean its good!

so later ishmael goers up to search for a whale and sees one and tells the crew

its like 100 whales and they are probably b0ning like soviets on german women in ww2

so they go out and nail the whalke and bring it back to be porocessed like a cow or pig or korean dog

1 guy sez he saw a whitye wail off the cape of good hop[e heading for madagascar a while ago and ahab gets a b0ner and calls off the hunt and recalls the boats and cuts loose the whale they just caught

starbuck tries to talk sense into him but ahab i on a gee haad and goes like megatron when starscream is warning him not to f wityh the thing as it could f up the planet

at least whenhe's not reversaing his ideas and doint care about the planet and willing to nuke it

Starbuck worries that he might be offending The Lord as his mission is to hunt whales to help humans but ahab isnt in it to aid people but for his own black vengeance

he wants to use a legal thing to say ahab went against the original mission and its ok to starscream him and take over

but the people say "the captain cant break ther law cuz he is the law" like judge dread of back door bi den and they submit to ahabs mania

later 1 guy falls in the sea from the top of the boadt and bites it as i thinksome sea daemon got him

also nowadays some malcontents would whilne about a non amputee playing ahab as its "appropriation" or something gay

so no one sees any whales for a while and qwe playes with bones to tell the future, which is against the Bible, and has the carpenter make him a coffin as he saw his end in the bones

like with samuel or saul or w/e whoused a naecromancer to talk to the dead and what came out told him he'd bite it and the next battle he seppukued

ish tells him not to foillow daemon works and be a good Christian and  some guy sez when THEy see the end is near they give up

so later qwe bites it and 1 guy was cutting him up to eat or b0ne or w/e and ish foguht ther guy to porotect his dead friend from being harmed

theres a knife fight but qwee isnt dead and saved him and nearly killed the guy gonna cut him up

i think qwe was in a trance and or astral projecting and sending his soul to wander until a daemon got in and made him eat people

then they see a whale and ahab goes out with em in a dingey

the whale surfaces and its moby detective of the 20s and gets away and as theres no wind, ahab has his men row the boats to drag the hugeb a55 whaling ship along

eventually theres wind and ahab gives a dude who saw the whale 1st thr hole in the art5 spanish coin

ahab offerds a guy his share of the profits and later they come across another ship who harpooned the whale but it gotta way

they got f;'d by the whale and lost the captains son need help but even though the crew sauys to be Good Christians and aid them, ahab ditches em to go on his gee haad and asks The Lord to help captain gardner(like tea gardner in yugioh in that skimpy miniskirt and tight top?) and Gardner asks the Lod to forgive him

ahab goes on a flowery speech about how remastering harpoons to be better and about gibvign them a pbaptism in blood o something and rambles on like an 80 year old irushman who forgot which family member he b0ned in wehat shower

they go into a storm and are 3 days behind him and run the ship full sail as it f--ks apart

starbuck is gonna cut something and ahab is gonna shank him with a harpoon but the st elmos fiure goes of and the area glows green from some kind of protoculture matrix and ahab gets it on his harpoon and pouts it out on his hand

this guy has some kind of powers, like hokuto ryu ken or something

after the storm ahab goes on anouther wordy monologue like tommy wiseau and how he's liek Adam after centuries out of Eden

1 guy is gonna j fk ahab but dont got the g0n-ds to do it wait its starbuck and ahab sez they share a destiny

so eventually the white whale coems out again and ahab goes out and gives another wordy monologue

the whale is done with a fake whale or ginzo jira and looks real and better than the cr-ppy a55 cgi they'd use today

dumba55 ahab stands in a boat in the sea and hunting a whale and the men get their harpoons

we get a good shot of the black guys a55 in briefs and its like in dbgt how we kept seeing pans thicc a55

the whalew vanishes which is odd as its a f--kin kaiju and it rises when they see the birds going around

they nail it with harpoons and it looms liem a t-rd and an b0nar

the whale jumps and tanks a boat its pulling and turns around and mouths the whole boat as everyone bails

ahab gets on the whale and grabs the ropes on harboons in it and keeps shanking it

ahab talsk a lot abotu h-ll like thnder in h-ll and from h-lls heart i stab atr thee

so the whale and the ahab go under and later it coems up with him strapped to the whale and waving his arm while seeemingly dead

what is he? jyuuza in hokuto no ken?!

the whaling boa  goes back for moby and the blowfish and it nails em and wastes em with his tonnage and jaw and tail

then moby dick charges foor the main ship like the invid regent on the sdf-3 and manails it with a kamikaze attack

tru deau ack bar

so the ship goes under and take a lot of guys with it and ish survives by qwes coffin until the ship that they passed by i think comes back and saves him

the end

that was pretty good

its nearly 2 hours but dont feel it

goood action and effects and it goes by at a good pace without needing a lot of chaos and spastic cg

good acting and peck does wqell as the deranged ahab

kinda like mommie dearest with that chick acting nuts for the role of the insane joan crawl up my a55 crawford

the whale parts were well done and the writing was good and its robably the best movie of the book

its colored and i think widecreen and has kind of a earthy limited color and faded instead of bright and vivid like gone with the wind

i liked this one and it has good flow and didfn't drag

Oh and in Arthur, Francine was hungry and needed to read something and her bookshelf had Food of the gods, Breakfast at  tiffanies and Moby Dick: all the titles are related to things you put, IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

Arthur slipping in some deviancy!

For Moby Dick II I want it to be ther whale  bringing ahab to an undersea massive vehicle run by sea daemons who return his leg as it was savbed in stasis and reveal they send the white whale, made by dna engineering, to find someone wioth drive and passion and go around ATTACKING PEOPLE UNTIOL 1 WITH THER CHUTZPA came aftter it, they want to wage a war on their rivals in a city under the north pole and needed someone with sheer ambition and determination to pilot the combat vehicle from tech before noahs flood. ahab sees how  they manipulated him and goes along with it to get ther merch, but when they go to the north pole under city ahab turns on em and uses this humanoid mech like Grendizer or Goldrake to attack the sea daemons and their ship, then goes on a crusade against them for ruining his life andusing the systems in the mech to take out their undersaea cities and bases and after wiping them out, goes to fight moby dick to avenge his crew, only for the whale to unfold into a bio mech humanoid thing and have an epic battle in atlantis as the city is going to surface and destroy the humans on land with its death rays and Ahab has to beat moby before the city gets from the sea to America! Also its a 128 bit game on dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox like rampage in 3d or king of the monsters or goodzilla destroy all monsters melee where you fight various sea mechs and desytroy their german expressionist cities based on sea shells and mechs based on sea monsters, legandary and real, and they transform into animal and mech formes.