Clifford The Big Red Dog Review

 Note: I spell like bad but not big bad, aka; the maruta

Clifford The Big Red Dog

This is my film on i mean review on Clifford The Big Red Dog from the distant futuyre year of 2021 (1 year before soylent green and Robotech II The Sintinels but 1 yewar after Transformers Super God Masterforce)

Its directed hy  Walt Becker who did Boying The Cow and nothing else I saw

It stars Darby Camp from Drop Dead Diva, Tony Hale from Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector\00s Dante's Inferno\The Tale of Despereaux\Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip\The Angry Birds Movie\Transformers: The Last Knight\Toy Story 4\The Sopranos\Law & Order\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\Drunk History\VeggieTales in the House\Rick and Morty\\Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles\Star vs. the Forces of Evil\Amphibia\Harley Quinn\20s The Twilight Zone\the 20s Rugrats\The Ghost and Molly McGee, Sienna Guillory from the Resident Evil movies/Eragon, David Alan Grier from Blankman\Jumanji\Stuart Little\The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle\Little Man\Astro Boy\ALF\Pinky and the Brain\Buzz Lightyear of Star Command\Sesame Street\Boston Public\Crank Yankers\Samurai Jack\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\The Cleveland Show\Black Dynamite\The Eric Andre Show, Russell Wong from New Jack City\Romeo Must Die\Touched by an Angel, openly brittish john cleese(really named john cheese but he don't wanna be known as something pople like) from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life\An American Tail: Fievel Goes West\the 90s Mary Shelley's Frankenstein\the cr-ppy a55 90s live actoion The Jungle Book\The Swan Princess\George of the Jungle\Rat Race\Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone\Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets\The Adventures of Pluto Nash\Shrek 2\the 00s Charlotte's Web\Igor\the 2000sd The Day the Earth Stood Still\The Croods\Monty Python's Flying Circus\Disney's House of Mouse, Kenan Thompson from Good Burger\The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle\The Master of Disguise\Fat Albert\the live actiopn moviie of The Smurfs\the 2010s The Grinch\All That\Sabrina, the Teenage Witch\The Amanda Show\the 00s cartoon Clifford the Big Red Dog\Saturday Night Live(gayyyyyy)\Crank Yankers\The Mighty B!(ew!!!!)\Martha Speaks\Nature Cat\Scooby-Doo and Guess Who?\Bless the Harts, Tovah Feldshuh from Law & Order(she was Danielle Melnick? She had soome good ideas, i liked what she did, defending rights)\The Good Wife\Law & Order: Criminal Intent\Blue Bloods, Openly GOOD Paul Rodriguez who did Rat Race\A Cinderella Story\Touched by an Angel\King of the Hill\the 00s The Twilight Zone\Dora the Explorer\Zatch Bell, openly devolved Russell Peters (who if he got athma he'd use a puffer annd cal it a peters puffer)  from  Fifty Shades of Black\Just for Laughs\Royal Canadian Air Farce\Corner Gas Animated, Horatio Sanz from Miracle on 34th Street\Road Trip\Wreck-It Ralph\Saturday Night Live(mad tv was better)\Gravity Falls\(the guy behind that is into darknmess)\Drunk History\Modern Family(candya55es)Duncanville, pro aids bag Rosie Perez from Do the Right Thing(spoiler; mookie don't!)\The Road to El Dorado(the only good thing she did)\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\Dora the Explorer\The Cleveland Show\Big City Greens,Alex Moffat from Saturday Night Live\F is for Family, Openly Honorable Siobhan Fallon Hogan from Forrest Gump\Men in BI ack\the 00s Charlotte's Web\Saturday Night Live\Seinfeld\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and the fred movies with that devolved guy no one likes, and a buncxha guys i never saw i anythng or aint on soviet wikipediia b0ning a butt

Man there's a lot of gaijin in here, what is this? a fighting game? Like POwer Instinct with ninja, an indiam, a blonde guy, and an italiano muscle babe all in 1 city?

this was based on a kids book that had shows and cr-p made after it but i didn't see the books and hardly saw the show

i never saw this, but they did make a graphic novel based on it

a book based on a movie based on a show based on a book

street fighter; the movie; the game

battle ship; the movie the game (based on a game)

so after a min of logos, we get narration of some cr-p like a faerie tale and this blood red dog was pooped out by its gold mom

you are NOT the FATHER

black guys: ohhhhhhhhhh!

so some guys come in and take the piuppies and moma dog and red was left behind as he was in a blanket

unable to take it, he behins cutting his writs with his teeth and crying tears of blood

jk really we get the title and this loser chick comes home and b--ches about how shes the new kid and no one likes her

hope she dont shoot the place up

mom wants to have her kids tormenteors mom come by with the fam and settle things like that would help

so mom is going outta town for a few days and needs sometone to look after her

elsewhere this guywhoi lives in his truck is hassled by a black female cop about putting a pbag on the parking meter and he runs off claiming hes late

didnt seem to be in a hurry b4 she came

so redog gets out and wanders the cituy and will p[robably wind up in korea town dinner

hobo comes in for an illisutrater jon but is an hour late and leaves after eating a bowl of mints peoppe, touched with their sh-0t covered hands

loser girl, whos nopwhere near as good as the real emily elizabeth from the 10s show, goes around her building to get money or w/ew and talks with blakc magician rusdsel peters not on his pudfer

in the city, redog nearly eats a wiener that fell on the floor but is shooed into tratffic

he rolls 20s and gets by untouched and b--ches at a cgi bird for food

thsi geezer finds him and takes him back to probably b0ne

so hobo coems by and is moms sister and main chick dont like him cuz shes a loser and probably will grow up to do bad p0rn0

so hobo is a f--kup and j=rkioff and mom leaves him with her virgin diahgter who hates him for minor things

he otta sell her to a big black guiy for 3 silvber times that one time i was reading the berserk manga

they go to an animal drescue thing in this park and thery got exotic animals that are probably nmot legal to own or b0ne

so geezer from monty python fakes latin to be smart and seems like one of those whinsical wikky wonka guiys

cheese shows her redog and hes a dinky cgi thing and main chick likes him

imagien clifford the big rted dog vs the maruta from turning red?

mr cheese sez his size depends on how much she loves him but uncle hobo sez no and takes it

he smashed it on the grown sand it breaks with bone spikes coming out as it screams in pain

jk really he gives it back to mr cheese and he;s probably gonna b0ne it with a jar of peanut butter

later in school, main chick brings in cr-p for a school recycling thing and the cool kids mock her for not just gibving the school money

emily from beyblande meets an asian nerd like yick yu the disorganzied from degrassi jr high but not alex yiik the okama and they egtta long

after coming home,. emnily falls in bed and goe son the web as ucnle hobo eats whipped cream from a can

in her bag its moving and this is probably how horror movies start!

its mac and me!!

nah its redog and i guess he ised instant trnaslocation to get there and she dont wanna return him as "its ok for a little wjhile" like in stepmother sin how shes like "no yosuke! this isn't right! ok! just this once!"

so she wants to name him ishmael like the throw away son from The Bible but the dog likes cliffiord and somehow knows english despite being a f--king dog and new and somehow being smarter than a human of 5x its age

clifford gets out and steals uncles turkey for his handwich i mena sandwih

uncle sees him and beta male-ly whgines but gives in cuz hes a loser and belongs in the camps

ok, one nighyt, like stelp mother sin withg dan green b0ning his step mom

so emilio is bummed and wishes that the dog was big and strong and sleeps with it in her bed and uncle sees it as cheese walks around outside like dr parnassus

is he some kind of yokai?

so the next day she wakes up and clifford is a big a55 elephant sized dog and doesn't care as hes a dog and on the same level as a highly devolved ret-rded chick

took nearly half an hour for the dog to get big

so the dog f'd up the room with tail wagging and sitd and buists the dewsk with his big red a55

she gets her uncle and he sez its ok for the dog to stay and sees the dog by walking lips 12st into its lips andf its like naruto mouth kissing sasuke

btw, animals dont get how hhumans are, like cats thinking humans can see in the dark

thats why they sent hjarmambe to h e double soviet england, one move and that kids xead or crippled

mom calls and uncle covers for it and after that he looks up the cheese on the internet  but finds nothing on his cr-ppy phne

dont trust google, its bad and censors things, use something else

so the repaid guy or w/e comes in for ficing the diswasher and the water turn off is in the bed room so hes gotta go wher clifford is

uncle goes in to turn off the water and clifforsd f--ks him aroudn with his rtail

buyilding guy smells dog and uncle sez he dont use deodorant, which is good as that has poison in it that cuases issues

clifford goes out and buiulding beardo goes to getta new part for the dish washer

emilio sez to take him to the vet in case hes sick and keeps growing and i guess they dont got school anymklre

they bring him out using the moms belt as a collar and walk him in soviet new york  as they are used to frteaks

they bring him to the uncles van/hgome and asian comes by thinking she was sick and he cut gyym to avoid being manly

also uncle had student loans for goign to college and probalyt got courses in gender theory and feminist works and now lives in a car

clifford runs off and pops a big  clear ball with a guiuy in it and cvarrys it

evretyone sees the big red dog and fiulms it on their phone and clifford p-sses a lot on a tree

so in this genetic company a guy wants to increase bgrowth to feed the world but makes a two headed goat for his rityals

his workers/slaves p-ssed away 400 million $ on nothing and only got a sheep thats meana nd spazzes out attacking the buillet proof glass

they can use that for the military as weapons to drop on gaijin lands to wipe em out

the leader sees the phgotro pofn clifford and wants to use what made him gorw to make food grow

wouldnt he have voint and blood and heart issues from being that big?

so they take him to dr fat albert from good burger AND wants uncle to put the thermomitor in cliffords a55

uncle dont and cliffords is seen to be healthy despite being serious gigantism like garlic jr beefing up before be breaks iout of the dead zone and gets pan in dbgt pregnant

dr snl gives clif bar a treat and he wants ,ore and nearly b0nes him

the secreitary sez she knows of the cheese man who gave animals that helped people and has some kinda magic

emilio sez the cheese was at her shcool so his info might be on the school conoputer

company guy wants to ue an id chip on the dog to make it nbis property like a slave and his goons find emily was in the pictures and track her on line

uncle sez someone has peanuts at a new york school and they gotta protect the evolutionarlily challenged kids from something that mmight weed their poison dna from the gene pool and the secreitay school hag spazzes out

asiano and uncle check the computer and building guy is shown a photo of  clifford and sees they had a dog , shown by a comapny guy

emilio gets hot dogs and spills ketchup on the head cool girl and she goes on a tirade and calls her an accidentand goes on about her getting in free when others gotta pay

clifford comes in and the kids like him and cool cutl, or cy girl in some dubs, sez they are freaks

loser girl sez shes jealous about cloifod styealking attention like in the skmpsonms with barts dog

emily comes hoime to kfind shes evicted even though there was no hearing and they can appeal

a black guy on the roof putting in a satellite fdish falls and clifford saves him, by jumping and catching him instead of falling into him and breaking his legs

emily is a hero cuz her dog saved a guy and shes a hero and they need to get to a comnputer tho read the files when uncle hs a celphone to plug the stick into

uncle sez mom got a scholorship to Oxford but after he and moms mom bit it, dad snapped and she had to raise him, now hes a screw up and keeps f--king things up and j=rkin off on the floor

hnnnnnnnnnng pssssssssssssss!!

nooo! not in the food!!

so asian used a neighbor cppmpiter to find where cheeseo is and company guy comres by and sez he owns the dog and it ran away froim his lab

they ahve a science expeiment lab in new york?! is this spider man AND TMNT?!

he offers em money for a reward and uncle wants to take it to bribe away the guy who kicked em

emilio sez he lied as she found him small and his goon tags him with the chip but clidfford runs and f--ks the cuity wich somehow has no cars on the roads like sesame street

the gaijion fight the company guys wearing black suits and shades like will smith in the matrix but he queered out to do wild wild west

elion drives her uncles house car and not house boat and uncle fights ann agent withg food like a tmnt 2 version of robotech the uintold story

emilio and asian get to asians building and the door closes somehow  as the cars behind em miss em

school calls mom saying elmio wasnt in school and mom calls emilio and she sez she was there and passes the buck to uncle who sez there was a peanut scare like peanutd are a danger

clifford meets aksians dog the ugly little dog like in that will smith movie with tommy lee and the guy from lawe and order

they hold the small dog to cliffords butt and clifford eats it but spits it out

dog eat dog!

company guy tells the cops that the dog is his and might spread its mutation like its gayness and make others that way

also the company is called lifre grow like the life foundation in spider man

cops offer a reward for the dog and dad of asuan comes by and offers em a chance to send him to shainghai

they'd probnnalby sell him to nam and eat him

uncle sez this is best for him and emilio ewants to keep clidforf and goes on a cr-ppy speech to sappy msuic and winms him over with finding the cheese

at night uncle sees the asian is rich and wonders if he has an older sister to b0ne

the next day they go to some place to meet the cheese as asian isn in the van and cliford poots hard ans stinks him out

emilio goes to the hopstieal to see cheeseo and finds he just bit it

we get the sa moment of the movie as we are around 3/4ths through and we gotta have a forced sad mlment

so the ppirate crew go on and dont know wehere to go and uncle wants to giube him up but emiulkkaio wants to keep him

then its night and emilio is gonna send clifford to shanghai to be used for expeirments by the ob to reverse engeniker his biggness and use it for super soldiers

the sad moment contines and she thuinks sending a dog to asia is gonna make him safe like that orca in south park on the moon

somehow clifford understands and treys being small andthis forced sad mment goes on and on

so the vlift monty bar goes on this boat to antisubtle msuic and as it drives, he spazzes out and she runs along the pier in a TOTALLY original thing

in where ever the f--k her mom is, she sees the newes shopwing emily's photo and the dog and goes back

emilio is buymmed and uncle sez mo send angry texts incliudiung a gun emoji, whioch is odd as shes from back door england and they fear Guns as they are manly and cool

then they find the cheese who bit it wasnt the cheese and asian sees real cheese is in a park and alive

the news sez they caught the dog on a slow boat sto chi na and sent it to the lab and the gainin go off to save him

mom calls and emilio hangs up on it and company guy gives a speech about scanning its dna and using it to feed the world(ZAA WARUDO!! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!@)

it plays dark music to a company guy making food for people but not poutting dna posin in it like back door billy microsodom

the gaijin sneak in usiung uncles bolt cutters and russel peeders uses smoke grenades to trigger the fire alarm to unlcoc the doord

sthe gaijin get in and the slavic chick uses her slavic powers from soviet union or w/e to handle it by using milk or miak on the floor

they get to the dog room and guy with a plastic hand blocks a cagttle prod and the rest beat up the guards and it loks like clifdford is dead

nah hes alive and gets up and spazzes outlike a regular dog as in a ret-rd and they ride xclifford out like a big a55 horse a55 and free the ani als that beat the goons up

in the chaos con trol the uncle jacks a mic and tells his side of the story on lve tv and clifcford has a low speed chase in soviet new york where they probably have styeramed ham,sd

mom hears that a corportation is gonna steal a puppy from a girl and tells his teaches who sed he was a cr-p that hes on tv now

gacy was on tv, its not a goodf thing

the leader and hsi cars chase clifford acorss a bridge with no other cars on that part and somehow cant keep up with a f--king dog

they make it to the cheese who is happy to zee em and was at the hospital who he gave a sick friend a bow tie

he sez her love made him big and no one can take it away and the cops come by and sez hes a danger and belongs to the company

is this the x men? i mean it is new york

she tells the cops in a cr-ppy sappy speech as  all her droogs come by to back her up, all the good things of clifford and hes only diffeent and not bad

she didnt fit in adn is different but its not ok to be teased for being different

so if i like b0ning cats, its ok cuz im "different"??

nah i;m not a furry

ater a rip off of timmy wideau saying "if we all loved each other it would be ok" and using grade school logic for saying "vjust cuz hes big and red dopnt make him bad" like a commie sympasither, the corwd sides with her like the audience at the aids ep in cpatain planet

leader sez  the dog was microchipped at birth and a cop scanms it but the ascan sez i belongs to emily form soem cr-ppy sailort moon magic thing

the cuity will send the comapny a bnill and he faces no other issues and runs off beaten

cheese sez  tech is like magic like emil lang said in robotech voltron and goes  off to go on safari and hunt soem harambe

mom comes back and shes a brit mo and is ok with her kid being brave and i hink she might be illegitimate as theres no dad

mom probably got b0ned in an svu ep cuz this is new york

all these multiethnic peoiple of both genders teaming up top save the day like power rangers

uncle gets on clifford and he seez the clear human balls and cliffod runs off

in a sotrybook style, the girl getting her home back and uncle getting his own place and a job and art like the clifford books

also; On thew 2010s Clifford The Big Red Dog: The main character is a blonde girl but her rents have dark hair, which makes me think her REAL dad was a Blonde Alpha Male like Trump or Hulk Hogan, and the husband was in the kitchen playing  Nintendo Switch!

i guy in here is named fagin, and the sians said he was like oliver twist

also 1 guy is michael fuchs

i bet he does

the end

that was actually pretty good

some of the jokes got a smile outta me

goiod action and art and acting

the msuic was nice

it tells a good story with fun characters

its like sesame street meets ET

its one of the bettyer  recent movies anf is safe for kids but has fore refs the adults will like

For Clifford The Big Red Dog 2 I want him to be sent on a mission to korea to give food to those in a famine, but its revealed when he gets there, that it was a ruse and they wanna eat him! So he has to fight his way out of korea and get to Japan and battle their bootleg mechs and power armor that break apart easy and eat the koreans to keep his strength up! Also he fights korean cryptids who were enslaved by the korea! Its also a 32/64 bit 3d game  on Sega Saturn, ps1, N64 and 3D0 where its like The Hulk and you gotta bust through the enemy and wreck their cities and villages! Also itys a 128 bit kaiju beat em up on sega dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox wher eyou play as clifford and fight the enemies but also in a free mode yo can use the other mnsters and things