Seven Ways From Sundown Review

 Note: I spell easy like sunday am

Seven Ways From Sundown

This is my review on Seven Ways From Sundown from  the distant futur3e year of 1960 (70 years before Robotech Season 2 and Transformers Zone)

Its directed by  Harry Keller who did nothing I saw

It stars Audie Murphy from The Red Badge of Courage\Tumbleweed\Ride Clear of Diablo\Destry\The Guns of Fort Petticoat\Cast a Long Shadow\Showdown\The Texican, Barry Sullivan from Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here\Oh, G=d!, John McIntire from The Lawless Breed\Apache\Psycho\Rough Night in Jericho\The Fox and the Hound\Turner & Hooch, Kenneth Tobey from The Thing from Another World\Ben\Airplane!\The Howling\Gremlins\Big Top Pee-wee\Gremlins 2: The New Batch\Honey, I Bl=w Up the Kid, Mary Field from The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse\Cheers for Miss Bishop\the 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\Miracle on 34th Street\Life with Father\A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court\Mighty Joe Young, Suzanne Lloyd from The Twilight Zone, Jack Kruschen from The the 50s War of the Worlds\Cape Fear\McLintock!\60s Batman, Claudia Barrett from White Heat\Robot Monster, Don Haggerty from Angels in the Outfield\Cattle Empire\The Night of the Grizzly\Dirty Harry, Robert Burton from The Band Wagon\Birdman of Alcatraz\The Manchurian Candidate, Fred Graham from Mutiny on the Bounty\Rthe 30s omeo and Juliet\Fort Apache\Adventures of Don Juan\Tulsa\the 50s No Way Out\Angels in the Outfield\The War of the Worlds\Demetrius and the Gladiators\20,000 Leagues Under the Sea\Rear Window\Seven Men from Now\The Alamo, and some guys i nevr saw in cr-p

i never saw this before but its got audie murphy so its probably good

So after title and credits in color and proper full screen to nice music we get a guy at a salloon shooting up the town and torching the salloon and booking it on a horses a55

later a Ranger whos probably not Walker Texas comming by and the people wanna tar and feather him

he pulls a gun and they blame the bad guy named flood f--in it up on him not being there

This is why we have the 1st ammendment, in someone attacksm, we can try to fight back, otherwise its saying only firemen can use fire extinuishers

so walker i mean audie the texas ranger goes on lloooking for jim flood and tells the authorities and they'll aid him

he's a new ranger and dont have a revolver as they would issue him one

a cop w/o a gun? whats he gonna do? tell the bad guys to sotp, or else?!?!

so he's given a firearm and is advised on etticuite for the service and goes gun training which if this were a game, would be a good mini game

he missed all his shots and is told of a chick who feeds the rangers and then we see this blonde and her mom as mom makes her a dress on her

audie comes in and the mom and blonde are the feeders and serve him but not as dinner

he has a thing for the blonde and her dress is tight and shows off her b00bs

as she changes outta her dress, audie comes in and looks away but shes wearing a clothes under it

audie gives the dog beans and its gonna stink and audie likes her dog

audies name s seven and  his fam had names liek 1 for the money and 2 for the show and he's seve ways from sundown jones

is this like 6 from blossom or w/e?

so his brother 2 jones, which seems like a japanese thing like the asu sisters in puni puni poemy named things like shi which is japanese for 4, was iced and was a texas ranger

so the hgiher ups talk about how if audie 7 finds out about whoice dhis bro it might make him go mental

as audie goes, the dog follows and an eagle comes for it btu audie ntakes it out with a rifle liek jfk or harambe

so sergetnt higher up talks with audie and offers to teach him how to use a sidearm

later i think the guys know tht flood iced 7's brother and blonde comes by 7s place as her and ma left the barn raising from feeling bad and worriess about flood as she heard hes big and bad and tough

1 point she sez hes 20 feet tall, a ref to the giants of the bible and i guess he can change size like a transformer

so they talk all 50s like they are gonna be in  love later but not yet and hold back and she wishes him goo luck

the nexte daye the audie is going out and blonde chats and wants to talk i mean write letters (women who can read?!) and she made him a cake but he accidentally crushed it(oh, cook books, yeah they read)

so 7 and sergeant go looking for the jim flood which sounds like a johnny quest enemy liek ezekiel rage and stop by a salloon that the peopel are afraid to mention the jim

serg asks the waitress/h00ker about jims brand scar shaped like an X and says he gave him it when he was drunk

maid/h--kker tells where he is and wants to meet him agaisn as shes gay for him and i guess they b0ned and she like it

they go on and we're 35 mins in with adds, which didnt feel like it and sergeant sez jimmy never told a girl where he was really going so they go the other way

later the jimmy floody is teaching a kid how to fishand whittleing a wood and leaves the kid his folding knife as he rides off

is he like a robin hood guy that only kills the bad guys and helps the little guy?

on the wastelands of anti soviet Texas, sergent finds smokes that flood smoked and knows him too well galvatron

bimmy was good at everything an didnt need to try hard and became an outlaw cuz he never grew up and has fans who love him as an hero

if this were made today, srgeant would be queer for flood or his ex butt buddy

the dynamic duo gets to the kid and kid sez no ones here in months and then that "he sez not to follow him"

So the guys go on and bimmy uses a rifle to j fk them and sergent gets capped

sergenat tells 7 to not judge bimmy and not go after bimmy himself and bites it

after putting rocks on his body for the dogs to dig up and sasquatch, and fireing at it, he rides out and theres snow somehow in the woods and fires on a guy with his boom stick

he gets bimmy who he shot at, at gunpoint and checks him for weapons and finds a cigar

cuz jim is bleeding out, they go to jims cabin to fix him out and this seems like something i saw, i think i remember this film from b4

so bimmy black out and 7 brings him t the cabin in the woods but not the horror mive and does makeshift surgery on himto get out the bullet

vivisection!!! its camp 731 but rEAL!!

jim sez its nice that 7 didnt leave him to die but 7 is malconrtent over sergent getting it and jim sez sorry

jim sez he has a scar on his head from a comanche starting to scalp him and sergetnt saved his skin

later mighty number 7 shows bimmy he found his food and firearm and bimmy sez he'd have told 7 about it

This was rated PG in Australia Canada Ireland Israel Maldives Malta Mongolia(They have cowboy movies in Mongolia?!!?) New Zealand Nigeria Puerto Rico Singapore South Africa england and America 12+ in South Korea Taiwan Austria Japan Norway Brazil Finland France Germany, 13+ in Philippines 14+ in Netherlands and 16+ in West Germany

So 7 and bimmy eat and 7 dont trust bimmy with a knife and mentions rat poison he found and bimmy plays it cool

bimmy throws a fireplace poker at the wall near where 7 was and sez 7 didnt watch him close enough

later they play card sfor pennies and use beans as chips with one penny

after an offscreen game whewre bimmy wins each hand and gets 62$  when 7 makes 26$ a month

he's gonna have to sell his butt virginity

for the night 7 puts bimmy in the pantry to keep him from getting away and asks if he missed him with the poker on purpose and tells his real name

bimmy didnyt asnwer and the next day they head backon horse a55 back through the desert and at night they lay cards and wins and when he shows him how, bimmy shoves 7 over and gets his gun

7 reveals he unloaded his 6 gun and pulls a rifle and bimmy wants to be partners and sez 7 owes him 86$

as 7 is gonna tie him up, bimms knocks him down and ot and pulls a rifle but dont end him

as bimmy gets his things, 7 gets a wood and beats him out

he keeps hammering and when he's done, jim flood is a mushy pulpy mess of flesh and gore

jk really he wales up tied up and as they go on the next day, bimmy wants to go by soviet califronea n the way to texas

are they comming from Japan?!

so they are in apache land and the apache think land is sacred and are probably gonna do the execution by hot coals, 1 coal at a time, or the man parts destruction over several days

so they get hbehind a wall or rock o w/e and bimmy wants a gun and audie wont give him one as he know he cant trust him glavatron

the indians attack and audie picks em off and they retrerat so the Amercians flee on horseback

we need the mongols to fight em, the REAL masters ofn hrosecombat

so bimmy gets an indian gun and it only had 1 shot but the indians leave

they get to a busted place by a wall and stuff for the night and bimmy sez he hearly bit it many times as i think he used the Contra Code for 30 guys like Rasputin

they talk and 7 sez his bro was iced last april while working for the rangers and the bimmy recognizes it and sez the bro bit it cuz the other ranger who was assigned to aid him was hiding and was the REAL cause, not the guy who caoped him

but then claims he didnt' see it but heard of it

they get to a town choice with 2 roads going 2 places and choose the right hand path

in the town they go to a bar as jimmy sez its ok to go to get a drink and 7 sez 1 drink wont hurt

remember tiny toons one beer?

so in the bar the people wanna free bimmy but bimmy sez not to and 7 trusts bimmy to keep his word at not escaping

1 bar5kank ez the town would gibe 7 enough money to retire if he lets them save jim and its revaled flood didnt go on a rampage in that town and the people love him

then 2 bounty hunters come by wanting flood and say they are new mexico authorities and texas rangers aint and audie dont trust em

they think he's defending flood and thus breaking the law so they come at him and audie caps 1 and books it and sez if others follow he'd untie flood and give him a gun

later flood sez they should have stayed and b0ned some chicks and audie sez he has a chick at home he likes more

floody mary sez hes not going to jail and they ride on and go off to find more supplies and flood is jonesing for a smoke

they stop by a wagon convoy and they recognize jim flood and this is seeming like afro samurai where everyone wants number 2 to get number 1

they wanna take jim but 1 guy sez not to go against the law, then when they go to get the cr-p, the guys jump audie and a fist fight breaks out

bimmy aids audie and the convoy books it leaving 1 wagon

bam magrenate flood has some smokes he got from the wagon and wants to recruit 7 to be an outlaw but 7 is honorable and dont wanna befoul his good name or the name of his ancestors in the Samurai Klan

they find bacon which is NOT kosher and go on and later come across some guys who want the flood

flood sez to let em have him as he dont want 7b to go to h-ll for eating unclean food and 7 dont wanna give him up

bimmy pulls a gun from an enemy and he and audie waste the guysand afterward, he puicks up another gun for later

bimmy has a gun and audie has him at gunpoint and throws audie the open gun

latee they get to da town and fludd from mario sunshine which wa the best 3d mario game i played but thats like saying its the best naecro p0rn0 cuz it didnt have amputees in it, has a gun

so fludd is turned in and audie gets the girl and the flood mocks the high rank ranger for being hiding when the guy who was 7's bro got iced

jim sez rtanger sent 7 jones to hope he'd get it so the jones klan would be ignored and ranger lets jim out to go free but is gonna ice him so he cant tell of rangers evil

so audie talks with gf about how he likes jim and hes free like a bird and gf sez "like the one who teid to eat my dog?"

me; yes, its a lower life forme, spiders eat rats and centipedes eat snakes

so jim breaks outta jail and audie doesnt fire so jim caps his blonde

blonde is not dead but when 7 coems out, he sees bimmy offering him a chance to join him and be like decepticons

7 tells jimmy he fires one off and capped his gf but bimmy sez; sorry, but we can go have fun togetehr

7 sez the man who iced his bro ight have been sorry but bimmy goes off

when 7 pulls a gun, but 7 picks him off and they talk about how bimmy was slower than usual but he sez 7 owed him all that money

then jimmy bites it and goes back to h-ll where his kin came from and 7 kneels over his corpse as the film ends so he can b0ne it after the creidts

the end

that was pretty good

i actually saw it long ago but didn't realize until later, but the opening seemed familliar

audie does well and it has a good showing of how the bad guy isn't evil but irresponsible and never realizes the damage his acts do

hes like those malcontent teens and 30 year olds who spazz out when someone says something they dont like and tries to harm them and wounds innocents

acting on impulse instead of logic or reason

his relationship with audie was good and developed over the film and it tells a good story

him being too dangerous to allow to live was like with Transutate in Beast Wars as while not malicious, was a risk to have around

except he wasn't all devolved, well, not physically or mentally, but in other ways

i liked this one and it goes by at a good rate and has good twists

For Seven Ways From Sundown 2 I want the jim flood to have survived and is on trial for his crimes but gets away, months later, the chick is healed but needed steampunk parts equipped to her and doesn't like being a mechanical freak, audie and her get work of a sighting of jim and go after him and she has gear spring tech built into her and has gained a lot of muscle from carrying the xtra weight, which audie likes,They go from place to place findign clues to where he mgiht be and beat through the people who are his fans until they reach him and he's had himself connected to a bison like a centaur from the waist up from where the bisons head was to repair his damage and make him stronger and unstoppable. Its also a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where 1 player is Audie who's faster and the other is the cuborg chick whos stronger and they have ranged attacks with recharging ammo to reload and fight various olde weste guys.