The Ballad Of Josie Review

 Note: I spell Josiaic

The Ballad Of Josie

This is my review on The Ballad Of Josie from the distant future year of 1967 (60 years before Robotech The Untold Story and maybe Transformers Zone)

Its directed by Andrew V. McLaglen who did McLintock!\The Rare Breed\Chisum\Cahill U.S. Marshal\The Wild Geese\The Shadow Riders

It staras the wonderful Doris Day from On Moonlight Bay\Calamity Jane\Pillow Talk\The Glass Bottom Boat, Peter Graves fromthe 50s Angels in the Outfield\It Conquered the World\Airplane!\Airplane II: The Sequel\Addams Family Values\yje 90s House on Haunted Hill\Men in Bl=ck II\Looney Tunes: Back in Action\Cold Case\American Dad!\WordGirl, George Kennedy from Strait-Jacket\Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte\The Dirty Dozen\Cool Hand Luke\Airport\Cahill U.S. Marshal\The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!\The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear\Naked Gun 33+1⁄3: The Final Insult\Small Soldiers\Dennis the Menace Strikes Again\The Andy Griffith Show, Andy Devine from the 20s Noah's Ark\30s Romeo and Juliet\30s A Star Is Born\30s Stagecoach\The Red Badge of Courage\the 50s Around the World in 80 Days\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\butt f==kin Myra Breckinridge\the 73 Robin Hood\60s The Twilight Zone\60s Batman, Guy Raymond from the 60s twilight zone/60s star trek/The Beverly Hillbillies, Shirley O'Hara from The Ghost Ship\Love Laughs at Andy Hardy/the 60s The Twilight Zone\-Rocky\The Incredible Hulk show, Elisabeth Fraser from A Patch of Blue\The Glass Bottom Boat\The Graduate\9 to 5, Timothy Scott from In the Heat of the Night\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Don Stroud from Taxi Driver\The Amityville Horror 1, Paul Fix from Scarface\Angel and the Badman\Hondo\Giant\The Bad Seed\To Kill A Mockingbird\Night of the Lepus/Cahill U.S. Marshal\The Rifleman\The Twilight Zone\Star Trek\The Andy Griffith Show\The Rockford Files, Harry Carey Jr. from Red River/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/The Searchers/The Rare Breed/Billy the Kid Versus Dracula/Big Jake\Cahill U.S. Marshal\The Shadow Riders\Gremlins\Mask\The Whales of August/Gun the ma Down, John Fiedler from 12 Angry Men\Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day\70s Robin Hood\Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too\The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh\The Fox and the Hound\Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore\The Emperor's New Groove\The Twilight Zone\Dennis the Menace\My Favorite Martian\60s Star Trek\The Rockford Files\The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh\Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too\The Book of Pooh\House of Mouse, Robert Lowery from The North Star\The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond/McLintock!, Edward Faulkner from McLintock!\The Green Berets\The Shakiest Gun in the West\Chisum, and a buncha guys I never saw or aint in back dor candy a55  beta make soy boy frooty booty soviet wikipedia

I never saw this but its on grit and Doris Day is pretty good

So after logo and title, we get a song with clips in grainy color of what i think are from the movie and its stills shifted around

so its this west town andthis guy is sent to jail for busting uop the place and theres this blonde kid who runs home to his om Doriswho gets the place reayand kid gets a rifle

this gte with a cerl gabel mountache comes in and i think trys to b0ne her cuz hes drunk and they fight until she runs to her room and locks him out

seeing he can't b0ne her, ge goes after the kid who runs screaming as her husband foams at the mouth

jk really she beats his head in with a stick and he falls down the stairs but he bites it and they have a service for a manslaughter she did, with Andy Divine as the Priest

so the women talk of DD icing her man and if its good or not and DD is bummed over it as her son treis to cheer her up like with Gohan an Chjichi but not b0ning in bad fan fics

at a trial the lawyer sez it dont matter that the guy she iced was bad as we can't allow someone to ice someone

the jury disputes on if she's guilty or not and this guy wants to take her son somewhere safe, but Judge Andy Devine sez the verdict isnt back yet

the jusy disputes if shes gonna get the rope or a few days in jail and if the victim deserved it

after having dinner at the restaurant, the jury guy who likes diris winks at her, which might be illegal, and laterson goes off with grandpa and wants to go to montana to fight indians

so the ladies talk on if DD will getta nother man or be feminazi and DD leaves after having enought of their chattering

later she wants to go off in her horse and buggy butthe law won't let her leae town as shes on trial for murder

the jury guy on her sidedrives her out to the creek and her old place i think and have a good moent on the way

doris finds her place f'd by guys staying in it during the winter and prpbably j=rkin off to her photoes and blasting goo on the floor hnnnnnnnnnnnnnng psssssssssssst!

she wants to raise cattle on the rance but main guy dont think women can do it, which might be accurate as men are stronger and smarter and braver

ain guy goes to a political meeting to make Wyoming which might be soviet a state and she comes along where the guys tdell her she's not fit for it butshe gets mad at em

the men say they wanna join the union but to do so, women gotta give up the vote, which they say is temporary, but, govs dont give up power by choice, only when the people stand up to em

but with women being often unreasonable, it has merit

so dorus fixes up the farm andis a hard worker like those kids in asia making ipjones for pennys a day between sodomy breaks and ashe wants her son back

main guy is there and ses got a pet skunk and in the attick is an attic but main guy thinks its best se stops cowranchig alone, which makes sense as if she gets hurt there's be no help

she spzzes out overhis views on women but he pounts out his view that its not safe for women to be alone on a farm with indians and raiders and having to handle cattle

she gets all wigged out and sends him outm then spazzes out and crys

later she goest a printing place and the guy wants to b0ne her and she dont consent and goes

she tries the bank and other places but they suggest being a waitress which she does and accidentally spills 8 plates of food on a guy and after enough f-=k ups shes canned

later she rides with main guy and i guess she was found not guilty but they didnt say it yet or at all and it seems like she might give up asnd go live with her kids grandpa

This is an hour in with adds and dont feel like it

so thry go on a horse and buggy to a burned down cabn the main guy lived when he got here but the indians burned him out

he f'd oput but got a loan from the bank and1st saw her there and saw her boy at age 2 and liked her looks as i guess hes gay for her

then some sheep come by and its a swarm of em and doris gets a black one thats small but main guy sez sheep are too ret-rded to recognize their own kids which triggers doris

main guy reveals this is past the dead line where itn divides sheep and cow ranchers, as some kind of 2 state solution like lincon should have hand with the Confed3erates

main guy sez sheep are ret-rded so anyone can raise em and later the DD goes to see her son and his grandpa whowas the dad of the guy she iced

she wants to give her son a home but grandpa sez he has a home here and she can live here, but if she wants work, theres a place form 7 to 7 with a 30 min lunch(as the indentured servants had 2 hours) for lunch and pays 50$ a month

doris asks how son is doing and he sez he dont like living with grandpa and dont want her to live there

if this were made today, grandpa would be b0ning him

outside main guyhas a bimbo talking with him but he ditches her to talk to doris who returns like batman in 92 and she wants to rent a big black long hairy horse and buys levi's jeans for cowboy boots thinking lady feet an man feet are the same(spoiler; they aint)

also she wants a shirt thats 36 Bust whic coul be bigger but shes thin and ths shopkeep is flustered at the idea of a womans b00bs

she leaves her past clothes behind and goes out in jeans and a jean shirt like shes canadian but has a soul

outside the town is amazed by a grilo is boychck clothes, whichimagien if they saw all the girly men today in skirts like back door pete davidson?

so the guys talk about what shes gonna raise and as she said flock they think its chicken butthen a sheep comes in and  this devolved guy comes inand hes a southerener confederate redneck

a swarm of sheep comes in and fills the town and is probably sh-tting all over n the real version

the guy who wanted to find DD guilty is manhandlihng a baby sheep and this dog attacks him

Doris comes in oh a horse with her hair lon and flowing like an anime chick and the guys dont like her ranching sheep butb the dames do

the guity anting guy sez they should have executed her for manslaughter but they ride over and see main guy b--cing with foris and a sheep eats the a55 off his pants

so the guysb talk over what to do to stop DD but the Deadline is not legal and if they bring her to court then she'd win, also they dont wanna beat her up and guity wanting guy is against America Demcracy and wants a king

they try talking her out of it and offer her booze but she wants brandy and not the sherry they offered

she acts all tough like a Go Nagai chick like Kikunosuke butshe has issues with the hard brandy as shes not Naga from Slayers

guulty guy keeps butting in and main guy wants to be civil but she sez she aint gonna quit and has more brandy

when told shes a woman she goes mental over how shes a human and dont need a man and declares shes gonna over come everything and sell her woll and make it big and storms out but blacks out from the booze

blonde got drunk in a room full of men? last time on SVU!

so she wakes up and the maid or slave or w/ehelps her with her hangover and thinks the guys put brandy in her drink

also Doris said the D wor on a tirade which is odd as she dont swear

maid sez the guys are rounding up her sheep and she goes to getta gun and treis it but is shocked at its kaick back

at DD's ranch dressing chips the cowboys try to round u the sheep and 2 rednecks watch and bet on em but they got no exp in sheep and only know cows

like  Mortal Kombat guy trying to do Street fighter

the rednecks send out their dog andn DD coems out and tells em to get off her land butmain guy tells her to get back to bed and he'd spank her thicc a55 if she dont

she fires her gun and falls off the horses a55 and fites more but main guy coems to settle her down but she pulls a rifle and he treis to explain if eh dont move the sheep out someone else will take em

she dont care as she s awoman and send shim off and has the r3dnecks round up her sheep as the men leave and talk of her being nuts

they a bucnha horsemen coem in and its guilty guy come to shopm the place up and take out the sheep and cr-p

the men vote and decide not to allow his attcks and offers to buy him a beer and main guy sez to doris not to try to bite off ore than she can chew and not fake being a man and she storms off

We're like 2 hours in with adds and it didnt feel it

so montana or wyoming or w/e is gonna be admitted and give up the womans vote but word has it on the 3 dary war between the sheep ranch and the guys

the rednecks tell DD about the war of sheep and cows and she don't want people to die cuz shes not a bad person inside but the rednecks say "then why you brign sheep into cow countery?"

she tells main guy she wants to quit and he wants her to go off somehwere safe and she dont wanna leave him and they smooch with cosnet and she rides off

so the women have a malcontent uprisng and side with DD and the guys tell guklty guy to call off his goons or he'd be arrested

DD comes to town and the feminazies side with her but DD sez shes not into womens rigths and tells off guilty guy for trying to run the town and trying to ice her guys and he pu=icks her up and puts her on the floor and tells em this is cattle country anf theres no sheep here

doris gets some pool sticks for the woemn tofight with and she beats on him, having not learned her leson from killing a guy b4

a fight breaks out and its only women hitting men ad they ahev moe rights than real people like animals or gaijin

gulty guy comes to the ranch and puts a fire in the barn and fights main guy as this is a western and its gotta have a fist fight

they fight in a sheep pen and slip on the cr-p and roll around in the filth

the fight gots to the barn and main guy sees its gonna cave in and drags guilty guy out as the flaming wood comes down on where the man was

so the next dayhe chicks are locked in a cage where they belong and are spazzing out so they get let out

doris came to the farm and its burned down and she talks with main guy over men/wives fighting and she feels bad over it and was in jail for the night for the gender riot, like a race riot but theres only 2

guilrty guy comes over and sez sheep/cws dont mix and offersto buy her flock of sheep and rebuild her barn and et her bulls/cows to join the cattle business ad does it man to man with her

miko mido from la blue girl; waoh! talk about a real sunnova b--ch hermaphrodite!3

latwer doris is getting dressed up proper and has her pet skunk like ellie may in the beverly hillbilliews andmain guy coms in and sez she look good

she burns her man clothes and could have sold or donated em and goes totown with the statehood happening andwmen dressed in canadian tuxedoes like ahe was and her and son andmain guy live happy

the end

that was pretty good

a bit feinist but not as bad as moder things

Doris is nice and can be tough kinda like Cutey Honey or Enpi Chan bit less b--xhy

she goes back to being herself after gender experiments which ahows she gt over t

nowadays they'd say shes some ender offender thing or not a chick but thats non canon

good acting and good mostly light story with fun and having the omen shown as the joke instead of only the men

nowadays they'd make Doris oppressed and bummed of it and clearly better than the guys and the guys being all bad and the beta males being her \sissy friends

the guys weren't evil, and her standing up to the feminists was good showing shes not one of THEM

good filming and music andacting and story and i had some good parts

Doris Day was a good chick and was caring and brave and tough

If they had it in the 5s' she would have been a good Sailor Venus

I assume this is a sequel to The Outlaw Josey Whales with this being after the civil war and ythe unionites attack on the innocent Confederates

For The Ballad Of Josie 2 I want the women to have started a splinter group that wants female supremacy and men to be their slaves, but Doris Day doesn't think its her place to intetferte, but when her teen son is beat up and his parts beat until they swelled shut for kissing a girl and the f3em inists thought it was an assault cuz they think anything a man does is evil, she goes rambo on em and goes around with her shotgun and taking out the feminists in their hidden bases and fighting females who made pacts wth daemonesses to gain strength and devolved into fat, blue hair, half head shaved, nose ring, glasses, tattooes and b00bs ripped off monsters that take up the room and she has to blow out their pressure points and make em rupture into a bloodspray. AAlso its a 16 bit Run N Gun on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as Doris Day and fgbt the devolved chicks and fight in a wasteland town and hidden bases like a cross of mad max, stagecoach and the inner bases look like  german expressionism with the devolved inner areas.