The Talented Mr Ripley Review

 Note; I spell talento

The Talented Mr. Ripley

This is my review on The Talented Mr. Ripley from the distant future year of 1999 (The year the Global Civil WaR ended in Robotech)

Its directo buy Anthony Minghella who did Cold Mountain

Its based on a book I never read by Patricia Highsmith who's mom truied to assassinate in the Womb like kaiserneko, but survived

It stars Mark DAMON who's really Matt Damon but Tommy Wiseau didn't remember it right, from Field of Dreams\Geronimo: An American Legend\Good Will Hunting\Saving Private Ryan\Titan A.E.\Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back\Ocean's Eleven\Confessions of a Dangerous Mind\Stuck on You\EuroTrip\The Bourne movies\The Brothers GrimmInterstellar\The Martian\Arthur, Gwyneth Paltrow from Hook\Seven/the 90s Great Expectations\Shakespeare in Love\Shallow Hal\Austin Powers in Goldmember\Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow\The Avengers\Iron Man 3, Jude Law (NOT The Torah) from Enemy at the Gates\A.I. Artificial Intelligence\Road to Perdition/Cold Mountain\The Aviator\Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow\The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus\Hugo, openly fenminist Cate Blanchett from The Gift\The Shipping News\The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring\The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers\The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King\The Aviator\Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull\The Curious Case of Benjamin Button\the 2010 Robin Hood\The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey\The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug\The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies\Ocean's 8\Family Guy\The Simpsons, Philip Seymour Hoffman from Twister\The Big Lebowski\Patch Adams\Punch-Drunk Love\Red Dragon\Cold Mountain\Mary and Max\The Ides of March\Law & Order\Arthur, Jack Davenport from Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl\Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest\Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End\The Good Wife\Why Women Kill, James Rebhorn from Basic Instinct\Lorenzo's Oil\Independence Day\The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle\Meet the Parents\The Adventures of Pluto Nash\Cold Mountain\The Box\Law & Order\Seinfeld\Boston Legal\Blue Bloods\The Good Wife, Lisa Eichhorn from Touched by an Angel\Law & Order\Chicago Hope\Judging Am\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Sergio Rubini from The Passion of the Christ, Philip Baker Hall from Ghostbusters II\Air Force One/The Truman Show\Rush Hour\Enemy of the State\Rush Hour 2\The Sum of All Fears\Bruce Almighty\Good Times\M*A*S*H\The Waltons\Quincy, M.E.\Family Ties\Matlock\Seinfeld\Chicago Hope\Without a Trace\Monk\Boston Legal\The West Wing\candy a55 back door Modern Family, Celia Weston from Dead Man Walking\K-PAX\Igby Goes DownRunaway Jury\Hulk\The Box\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.Frasier\Law & Order: Criminal Intent\Desperate Housewives\Modern Family/Under The Dome, Ivano Marescotti from Hannibal , and a few italianoes who i only saw in  this

Tommy Wiseaus best friend saw this and thought it was like Tommy for some reason, but wehen he showed Tommy, Tommy didn't see it, but was moved to make a film of such epicness, and made The Room

But is this as good as The Room? I saw some of it and only recall a guy getting his face slices with an Oar and blood comming out

Also thr book had several sequels that I never read

So after logos and cedits  to a black screen showing mark  then title, we get narratrion or mark sayong he wishes he could do it again but different starting with taking tahing a jacket

then more credits and these people at a wedding or something think mark is a friend of their son or gadruate of a class f 56 cuz hes wearing a jacket and he goes with it

afterward he retutns the jacket to a pianist and notn a tromboner  who f'd his wrist and needed mark to fill in

mark goes back to his servant job at the opera house and plays piano when everyones out and later goes back to the rich guy whos son is in italy and needs mark who he thinks is tom like tommy wiseau or tom green pr tom six and bring his son back with payment of 1000$

so mark listens to music in his cr-pshack and learns the songs of smooth jazz and cleans his cr-ppy shoes

after boning up on protoculture, he goes off in a fine suit and a car and driver brings him to the boat while saying the dad mr greenleaf name opens a lot of doors

if he was rich wouldnt he send him by plane?

take the spruce moose!

the fat chick from shallow hal, wait its cait blanchette but not the right honorable Blanche Sweete who was up there with the Ubermench Lilian Gish, meets him and they connect as mark fakes being greenleaf jr and cait is a heir to a textile thing faking being human

so mark is in Italy after the Glory Days of Mussolini who many Ialinaoes liked and learns some of the language and goes out in a neon speedo to the beach

he meets greekleaf jr and hsi anme is dickie like dickie roberts former child star and he is actually faking being tom ripley and dickie dont recall him but goes with it

dickie mocks his skin color of Milky White and his woman is gwen but not from ben 10 or spider man and in a bikini

later dickie is living up to his name by cheeting on gwen with an italiano chick

as beta males and commies say latinx t sodomize the latino language to be gender neutral even thoguh its a very gendered lnguage, shouldn't they call italianoes: italianx?

so later the dickie goes back late to his gwens dinner and finds mark the tm ipley is there and belive it or not hes faking it all

gwen gets along with mark and is probably gonna get really fat and wind up with jack black as he b0nes her chub

dickie asks what toms talent is and he revals he cann immitate others and fake signitures and tom shows how he can fake mr greenleafs talking which amazes dickie untl he finds tmark came to bring dickie back

ifDonald Trump is The Donald, whats that mke dick chaney?

dickie gets b--chy and dont wanna fo back and theres no phones working on the island but as he sez hes going, he drops these jazz records and it impresses the sickie and he named his boat after Bert which gwen sez boats are chicks and you cant name a boat after a man

if boats are women, the men can b0ne em and its not queer

so mark and dickie go to a jazz club in italy and dickie makes out with soem itanliano chick

oh and this filme is widescreen and colored as its a good 90s thing but the widescreen could be fixed

at the club the italianos bring tom ripley up andhe sings wit em in italiano jazz with english words in there like its an anime song

so dickie types a thing on a typewriter and sez how dad wants him back but dickie s-cked at spelling and writing

dickie wants to use toms money for bying a car and use tom as a double agent and now tom the mark moves in with jude and gwen the dickie

Tom the mark practices sounding like gwen and cikies and later notices dickies ring he never takes off and tom sez he needs a present for hsi pfiance or future wife

the trio goe ssailoing and dickie is the stong gy, mark is the smart guy and gwen is the woman

so dickie i mean mark and wait dickie is with em and with gwen and mark  go around italy and hang out and i think dickie sees his itlanio chick hes b0ning

later they are in the jazz hole and mark sinks i mena sings and dickie plays his sax

jude actually learned how to sax and mark learned how to piano for this

later mark and dickie talk about what mark did in soviet new york and he sez he played piano around there

dickie is kinda ret-rded and mark examines his handwriting as hes some kinda ubermench like sherlock holmes

later dickie is taking a bath and smokes and plays chess with mark who offers to go in the tub but then sez "not with you in" and dickie gets out and walks around nude with his man thing out and mark checks out his a55

its ok, its not queer, its european! like a guy with long hair like castlevania, or a guy in a speedo, or making painting and statues of naked men, not gay, european!

later they go to a train station and mark sez "its me, just an old picture" about his ID ando the train dickie wants to buy mark a new jacket but mark dont wanna spend more of dickie sr's money

they go to rome and dickies home boy freddycomes over played by phllip eymore butts hoffman and  theygo off to this club as mark is sent togo be a tourist and wears dickies jacket and by that I don't mean a c0ndom

so mark goes around greek or rome or w/e, its the same thing and eventually goes on the train to this place and sings an dances around in a monkey suit and i mean a tux not a harambe cosplay

dickie coems in and isnt glad to see mark in his clothes

ten its an egg breakfast and frank i mean fred is there offering tobe the newtom as he lives with dickie and dad pays for it all

later on the boat mark reads and chats with gwen about how great dickie is an wears a purple pink bikini

she wonders why guysb play games where they fake killing each other and sez how something wont work cuz not everyone can skii

later freddy steers the boat of quers and dickie goes in the boat to b0ne gwenand mark sees and freddy asks "tommy, hows the peeping?"

the italiano gf sees them coming in and dickie  and gwen came out

so gwen's characters b0ned both jack black and brad pitt and jude law

but Weird Al stays pure

they we seethse italinaoes who look indian bringing a statue of The Virgin Mary ourt of the water and having an italino ritual when the italiano gf of dickie comes to the surface

the italanos act all italiano and her fiancee is going mental but after an hour they get an ambulance and jude dickie spazzes out over how primitive the country is and busts his record player

later mark sez he knew about dickie and her and dickie screams at him for cleaning up an that itaniano chick was pregnant so its  adouble murder

mark sez he'd takethe blame but dickie sez she wanted his help and he didnt so she suicided and went to h-ll where her kind belongs and mark sez he'd keep the secret as they are like brothers

so greenleaf dad sez mark failed him again starscaream at bringing back dickie and released him from his mission, and dickie wants to move on from mark and have 1 last bash as a goodbye as mark cant pay

on the train mark smells dickie and looks at em in the mirror i mean window and sees their faces but dickie wakes up and asks why mark does this thing with his neck on trains

so then its nighte and theres lively jazz playing and dickie sez he thinks mark wasnt really at princeton as hes too cool and has good taste, whcih he means as a compliment and mark goes with it

mark sez hes grown to like everythign about dickie's thing even j=zz i mean jazz

the next day they take a small boat out to the sea and theres no one around

mark wants to return to italy under his own strm and share a place with dickie and getta job but dickie sez no cuz dickie is marrying gwen as he loves her and admits hes had enough of mark as hes a leech and is bording

mark sez he was honest but dickie is hiding his feelings and talks of the chess they played and b0ned  gwen on theboat and pregnanting the italianoess and dickie tells him off

mark cant take it and slices dickie like a rabbi but oly on the face and dickie goes mentl and attacks him so mark fights back and beats him dead

dont worry, he gonna be ok, he just needs some rest, theres a hospital island nearby, i can see his parachute, hes ok

so after drifting around hugging his dead dickie's in a poole of blood, he ditches the boat and returns and asks for his key butthe italiano mistakes mark for dickie and the mark goes with it

so dickie types somehtign and fakes dickies signiture  and later goes to see gwen and sez dickie is staying in post soviet rome for a few days and wants to be alone and gives her a letter claiming to be from the dick

also now dickie and the girl he impregnated are burning in the black pits of h e double soviet england

later gwen sez dickie's letter said he was staying in rome and she crys about how her pressure to marry might;ve scared him off

she wants to go to rome with mark to confront him but knows dickie hates being confronted

later matt dillon goes back to the hotel and uses dickies passfport to faske being him as hes not wearing glasses

then he leaves calls to himself as different people, dickie and ripley and arrangesdinner with himself

late while skiing he sees cait and she thinks he's dickie as i guess he said he was before and i was wrong and heard about him dumping gwen whos name is marge like large marge from pee wee's big adventure, whcih someone otta edit that and this and shallow hal togetehr so gwen is a huge fattie

so dickie and cait go tothe bank and get money out from dickies account and dickie gets a new suit and caet at his place offers to go to the opera with him

at therethey watch a play, or live movie, where italniao have a duel with pistols instead of yugiho cards and 1 ends the other, which kinda f--ks up mark as the red cloth pills i mean pulls outta him for blood on the ice

the rents of gwen i mean caet hear that mark is freddys homie and not freddy faeg bear and freddie goes to the opera and they recall meeting the real dickie

at there mark runs into gwen and her new guy and he switches back to being mark or tom or w/e and hides dickies ring and its close as the cait and her taxtile fam is there

gwen wants to see dickie and only gotcryptic notes form him and its like in violence jack how kikunosuke went to look for her fam wven though they bit it in the quake and kraken was her brother naojiro who bit it

mark goes back to being a dickie and brings vcate back out to look at the moon and on the cart ride tries to explain caet is too much like gwen or the future large marge

she wants to see him tomorrow andhe sez coffee in the breakdfast at near;y 11 as its beign bye as they are splitting like the people on ghost ship being sliced byb the cable

so hes also gotta see large marge the next day andnboth are near the same lace, which seems like thatsailor moon ep where mina was dating tigers eye and hawks eye and was gonna do nude modeling for one

at the cafe, gwen meets cait and they find out about both knew dickie and cait sez dcikes wanted to be with her and dait is gonna go

also cat herd of om ripley and was meant to meet dickie 15 mins agoand leaves and mark coems in as she goes and is mark the tom and hears from gwen that cait was at the opera wih dickie and gwen is gonn a go back and wait for dickie

which is kinda cruel to lead her on with a lie so he can live the high life

like that sailor moon ep where mina was dating tigers eye and hawks eye and rni said its not nice to play with peoples hearts

so tom the mark lives the dickoe life and plays piano and freddy comes by and tom cant get his dickie ring off

mark sez dickie is off to dinner and freddy sez the landlady said dickie was here now but mark sez search the place

mark tries to take off the ring and does and freddy faeg beer wonders why dickie is avoiding him and mark says hes staying there a few days

freddy sez the only thing that looks liek dicies there is mark andnthinks its not like dickies place in looks and sez either dickie went Christian or something else and insults mark as he leaves

mark picks up the socrates bust head and busts freddys head with it as the head cracks open and his brains spill out upon impact on the floor

jk really he gors and speaks to the fat italiano chick sez mark is dickie and waves to him and when dickie i mean freddy comes back, mark actually busts his skull in with the statue(i thought i wa making it up) and he carryis his fata55 out to the car and fakes freddy being drunk

he drives em to the late and drags hm ou and the next day the cops come and grill him where he sez he hardly recalls as they had a number of drinks and cops say not to leave rome and freddy was killed no later than 7 but mark sez he wasnt dead drivign away his car

later mark goes on a scooter and crashes and later runs into gwen and sez the bruise on his face was from dickie going mental on him for telling him off for dumping the large marge

he drives his scooter w/o a helmet to brign het to the dickie and aovids the cops and tells her not to tell the cops as if they know of dickie's temper they might finger him and mark isnt supposed to be in rome

he goes home and the paparazzi  attacks and he covers his faece andtells the cops he fell off his scooter and harmed his face and dont wanna see anyone even hees fyuchure waiif

also the cops think he had somethign to do with the missing of tom ripley and when mark was there, dickie and tom was there and a boat was taken out that day with them and tom aint been seen for a while

mark sez he dont wanna see this fiancee but might wanna see a friend and he sez he talks business and not pleasure and dont keep a photo of tom ripley as hes a male friend

so cop sez mark is to go to a line up and later gwen goes to see dickie and mark dont open the door and she dumps her heart out at breaking her heart and  dont know why he's dumped her and cant count on her

after she goes he writes a note on a typewritter to tom ripley and scrapes out the face on dcikies passport and sez to tok "i wish i could have given you the life i had but i made a mess of being dcike greenwood

so as mark is gonna book it, the cops come and he hides in the darknes and is back in his tom disguise and escapes on a boat to anothe rparte of italye

he meets up with marge gwens bf an turns himself in and sez gwen bf can help him withhis italnasion

bf sez rumor has it dickie iced tom and went aroudn eutope with his passport and hears the guys from rome are commign but it turns out they fired the roman as he let dickie getta way

in the station this new italion asks if mark is queer and he sez no(i question that) and whenhe asks if he iced dicke and freddy, mark spazzes out

bf sez not to get high spirited (whicy is ofdd to say in italy) and reveals they found a suicide note in dickies place and rwad it

later dickie i eman not dickie bf taalks with mark about things and mark sez how you meet someone and wanna let em in and you hide all the dark things in the basement and he seesm to be going queerly interested in gwens bf

also he wishes he could have erased it all and done it better

so at a church this boy whos probably neutered sings high and bf plays the orchestra and later they meet gwen who se dickie didnt end himself and dad has a private dick on dickie and dcikie did a check for 1000$ b4 he left

tm lives in a cr-p shack and later meets dickie dad and asks about dickie to the mark and gwen about how the letter sez dickei ended it and gwen dont think its canon

dad talks with mark alone as guys talk of things they'd not say to their chciks(which i talk with my fat bimbo gf about all kinds of awful things and she dont mind

dad talks of how cikie scratched out his passport photo face and mark thinks he pushed dickie away and dad sez you cant choose ur parents or children(unless you adopt em)

later mark is sleeping and going mental andgwen and bf coem by and  mark is spazzed out

so while bf is i mean gwen is fixing a brokwn strap, bf invites mark to live with him and later when mark is taking a bath gwen calls him ou and we see ben affleck i mean matt damon a55 like tmmy wieau

she confronts himof havign dickies wings i mean rings and spazzes out and drops the towel as she sed dickie would never take em off

mark gets a razor and robe and asks gwen about  i eman tells her about dickie having multiple women and i think its about to go se7en

he sez dickie might have killed freddy and gwen ntoices that hsi whipe rbe is got a blood growing and he advances

he sez dcikie gave him the rings and she dont buy it and when hes gonna ice her, bf comes in and she spazzes out

bf  comforts mark and treats his hand cut and later when mark goes to see mr greanleaf he sees the cop played by bookman from seinfeld reveales wen told them about the rings

bookman sez that dcikie beat a guy half dead over a girl and revals he checked the facts and found tom ripley was a piano tuner at princeton and the chickin the river was pregnent

also dickie had freddys car plates and witnesses saw dickie taking the plates and getting into freddys car and greenleaf wants him to lose him in the river and greenleaf is givign mark a piece of dickies inhetiteannce and money to keep quirt

so mark sez sorry for going mental on marge and shes cool with him trying to kill him and her bf sez hes bringing him to athens to do a concert but she sez she thinks there never was a ripley and nd wiggs out and slaps on him like a girl saying "i know you killed him"

bookman pulls her oof and bf and tom go off on a yacht to butt hammer each other at night

on the boatshe sees dickie and by she i mean its caet and shes with her fam and thinks mark is still dickie and i guess she never got word of him being dead

he sez he was in custody andtried to blame him for freddy getting fractured and he was sent away and kisses her and sez hes undecover

she asks if he saw peter but he sez he didnt see him in motbhs and hes alone

mark gets back to his and bf's room and jis anme is peter and peter sez he saw them kissing and mark sez he wants to stay in the cabin the whole trip

mark sez he lied about being with peeder and it would be gossip liek gossip girl and tom admits helied and thoguht its better to be a fake someone than a real no one

peeder sez hes good and mark breaks down as peeder sez to tell hi good things about tom ripley and we cut to mark sitting in his room as the voice continues and tom iced im and then we see the movie where it started with mark in the room.

the end

that was pretty epic

is liem over 2 hours w/o adds and hold up

good drama and acting and msuic and its pretty tense

i recall the ending as it was happening but didnt understand it as a teen

its well made and kinda deep and wouldnt be made in the 50s as the hayes code would say he had to pay for his crimes

although he iced his butt buddys and in scarlet street, edward g robinson didnt get convicted but wound up w/o anthing

also him icing the guys he wanted to b0ne was like in devilman with ryo and akira

and like them, dickie want queer but unlike them, tom was a man and coul be gay as hes not a hermaphrodite

its kind of a horror but not as creepy but has a body count and soem intense moments

is it better than the room? well, its better made, but the room is more memorable and not as long

i enjoyed the room more as its more entertaining but this is well crafted and i see a bit of tommy wiseaus masterpiece in it

like the love triangle with the guys an the blonde and the butt scenes and lies

its well done and lisa manipulatijg things was like ripley whos real name we never learn i think

i liked it and while its long, it dont feel it and has good flow and no drag

for The Talented Mr. Ripley II I want marge to have trained in kung fu and bodybuilding and come back to hunt down top and end him, also she follows the clues to track his location and avenge her butt buddy. When she meets him, his lies catch up to him and he turns into a daemon and she fights him with hr blessed by a priest fists. Also its an 8 bit action platformer game on Seag Master System and Game Gear, Game Boy and NES, TG16 , Atari Lynx and 7800 where you play as marge whos now all beefed out and punches though people in splattery bursts and fiths through levels in various locations around the world and fihgting varions machines and daemons of the area.