Mote: i sperll like a comvict
Esapre Plam
This is my revierw on Escape Plan from the distANT future year, to commie fdr, of 2013(the year of the malcontyent uprisinghs in robotech)
its firected b Mikael Hafstrom weho diod nothing i saw
it stars ytjr bafda55 Sylvester Stallone from M*A*S*H yjr movie\Rocky\Rocky II\Rocky III\First Blood\Rocky IV\Cobra\Rocky V\Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot\Cliffhanger)(the genesis gamre of that s-vled)\Demolition Man\Judge Dredd\Daylight\Men in B ack\Antz\Rocky Balboa\Rambo\)yher 4th one)The Expendables\Creed\The Muppet Show\Liberty's Kids, the ex baDA55 Arnold Schwarzenegger FROM, Conan the Barbarian\Conan the Destroyer\The Terminator\Commando\Predator\The Running Man\Twins\Total Recall\Kindergarten Cop\Terminator 2: Judgment Day\Last Action Hero\Junior\Eraser\Jingle All the Way\Batman & Robin\End of Days\The 6th Day\Collateral Damage\Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines\The Expendables\Terminator Genisys\Liberty's Kids, the smaaretr and brave and cool Jim Caviezel who was from G.I. Jane\Frequency\Pay It Forward\The Count of Monte Cristo\The Passion of the Christ/The Wonder Years, devolved 50 Cent from Get Rich or Die Tryin'\The Simpsons\Robot Chicken, thre immooral Sam Neill from Omen III: The Final Conflict\Evil Angels aka A Cry in the Dark\The Hunt for Red October\Jurassic Park 1\The Jungle Book gfrom 94 that i didnt wanna see and wanted to watching 90s shows but my dfam went to the movcies and i didnt like it\Event Horizon\Bicentennial Man\Jurassic Park III, bada55b sovver player i mean soccr player Vinnie Jones from EuroTrip\She's the Man\X-Men: The Last Stand but those commies who run soccer can't handle disagreement, which is why America hadsd Football, its not some candsya55 beta male sopyt boy frooty booty run game of devolved monkeys fining you millionbs for being normal. Thats whatr we have basket ball for! Faran Tahir from The Jungle Book cr-p from 94/Star Trek 2000s reboot movie\Elysium\Law & Order\Party of Five\The West Wing\Judging Amy\Blue Bloods, the sin lopver Vincent D'Onofrio from Full Metal Jacket\Adventures in Babysitting\Stuart Saves His Family\Men in Bl ck\The Cell\Jurassic World\The Magnificent Seven2010s remake w/9oo japanesew people even though the REAL version is a Samurai fuilm and its CULTURAL APPROPREIATION!\\Men in Bl ck: The Series\Law & Order: Criminal Intent\Emerald City, El Polen Zakken Amy Ryan from War of the Worlds the cr-ppy tim cruize version\Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)\Law & Order\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\Law & Order: Criminal Intent\The Office\Robot Chicken, Graham Beckel from Pearl Harbor\Hardball\Brokeback Mountain, Matt Gerald from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines\Avatar\]San Andreas, the fallen Caitriona Mary Balfe frm nothing i saw. and Lydia Hull whos not on candya66 wikipeoda
i saw this before and thought it was cool and its the 1st time stallone and armold teamed up sbeides planey hollywang
so after logos we get a jail and stallone is reading the bible, burns a few page and uses the remains to draw on the wall
we see a scene of stallone beating 2 big guys who came at him and then title and hes put in da hole and not the one in the a55 that is often filled in jails y people turned queer
while being put away he sees 1 guard having smokes an dhas a Bible and the cell is empty and has a skylight
he whips out his long uncut wener and starts j=rkin off on the floor as the guards watch and j=rk off in unison
jk rrally he makes toilet paper spheres and gets his milk carton unfolded and later asks the guard for the time
stallone counts and this chkcomes to the prison and her car blows andstallone is sitting calm but when they get there hes gone
later stallone as a fireman gets in this car with 50 cent and a chick and escapes
stallone calls a guy on a payhone and the cops get him and when hes in this jail vincent deafrica is there as a guy who works with stallone who sez he tests security to break out of jail and see how secure it is
stallone sez how he got out by knowing the layout and how 1 part they place bad guys is near a fire thing and he knew the guards nmoke break rousinte and used the wax laminiate on a chicholate milk thing to see the fingerprints on theoor key pad and figute out the code, then play the cam footag in a loop and get to the fire place to get out when the car blew
stallone chooses to go to jail like a homie to break out as its his skill
later stallone gorw to soviet california los angelas and dont recognize a ecretary whos been there 5 months ad outwits 50 cent who smiles for once makes cgi things
he meets a see eye ayyyy lawyer who wants him to test an escap proof thing thats private and meant for people too rough to be allowed in countries and she offers a lot of money to test it and they cant know where it is
stallone consents andis sent to be picked up with a new identity and is said to be a spaniard who made asplosives used in europe and america and was riased in America and 50 scent puts a tracker in his arm
so he goes out and is caught in a van by gus in isish republin masks and scanned then they cut out his tracker from his arm and is drugged and on the way to his location sees then shnking a guy and thrwing the body out a tvechile
he wakes up in a glass cell in a cube in a room with these cubes in a cgi zoom
this orb comes down and films hima guy looks at him and then the guy meets him where hes got hair and blood samples taken and hes the warden
stallone gives an activation code and warden dont let him out and 50 cent cant find stallone
stalone is taken ina livne of rpisoners but not like the human centipede 3 and imagine if they crossed over escap plan with the huan cenitpede where tallone and segal were sewn together in a chin with a bucnha homies?
stallone is in an open room with guys and1 guy is beat y guards as the huamn aste in the room cheers and when his prison gng comes for stallone he beats on em until arnie tells em to stand down
arnie is friendly to him and his name is prothos like the 4th musketeer and arnie used to work secutoryy for a guy who stole from people with money to give it to poors and arnie wont tell em where he is
arnie sez not to get iced as last got who got it was left to rot for 3 days and it cancelled the prom
wardenwhile doing things to buterlys tells off the guard for icing an inmate as they need to get into from him and he's docked a months pay for it
later arnie sees the mus lims paying to their god and notes how theres no sun and they pray often
also he offers to aid stallne and stllone scopes out the palce and warden has the book written by stallone
o help staljne arni slugs him and they fightby taking punches at each other then do some wwf moves un til the guareds cattleprod em and send em to da hole but notda 1 in da a55
they are put in da dark and blasted with high light and stallone feels the cell as elsewhere stallones crew talks over who did this and why and 0 scents wants to call the lawyer
dr allan grant from jurassic park who is now a medical dr checks stallone and sez he'd be ok and stallone asks where he is and guy who iced an inmate calls dr away and asks what he said
grant lies and sez he sed he didnt care when stallone asked of his dehydration and when stallone gets out of da box he asks srnie for a metal piece 3 inches to get out
warden asks where the guy is who arnie worked for and he sez he'd draw a map on a paper and he draws a butt with an arrow pointing to the crack and they put a hose in his mouth and dowater expansion on him
after coughting up not male gender fluids like other prisoners he grabs a plug in the floor andthey drag him off and later her gives it to stallone and gives him the metal and stalllone tells hi his real story and stallone wants him back in da box and arnie sez if he dont get out he'd ice him
stallone goes over what he knows and how everythign is vertical theymght be underground and they use steel and theres moisture in da air, and if he uses toothpaste polished metal to the lights it can espand and he canuse it to f something an get to the surface
stallone needs a diversion and 3-5 mkns and arnie sez to a guy his mom was his fave wh=re and she did mouth things and a fight breaks outand they get sent to da box
stallone uses the metl to reflect light on the floor to f the screws or bolts or we andwhen he gievs the signal by knocking on the floor, arnie hears it and he fakes a spazz out as stallone opens the floor and gets throughnd climbs a thing as arnold spazzes out in german like the human centipede guy
arnie prays and calls jim cavizels ewarden the dvil and stallone pulled a hose and water leaked out and gets to the tp and sees his on a mother f-=kin boat
warden sez he will get the info one day and he'd dont give a sh-t about his f--k and stallone falls into the water and gets back to his box as the water floods the other inmates bozes and he gets the screws in the floor thing b4 they get him out
vicncent devolved sez a check is on hold and its not uncommon with 2 million $$ checks and when told where the pile or hose or w/e brroke, h deduces it was stallone
vincent dehumanized calls warden and tells him about stallone and warden has a guy beat on stallone and eventually it wears on him and eventully he tells arnie his story on how he was in jail or something and wait he eas a proscruter and i cant make out much of it cuz of stallones speech f--kery
50 cent found that stllone is on a ship but dont know where the ship is and stallone notices the traits of the maksed guards an d their motions and movenments
arnie calls him lu=ouisa as the ft guards ffata55 reminds him of his ex gf and stallone sez nice as i guess they are turning prison gay
while with dr grant he gets some metcial items as he was sewed up from being shanked and arnie gives him a pen and glasses and he macguyvers togetehr a sextent like in ultima 4 and warden takes him to a new cell and tells him he knows who he is and someone wants him to stay here forever and he used stallones book to make the jail
warden sez no time with arnie and no showers and stalone sez he can get him the arnie boss and eventually gets warden to work with him
stallone gives info that isnt useful on arnies boss and arnie tells the guy he told he b0ned his moms mouth he can get him utta here and the guy sez he wants to have more rights to worship his god in exchange for info on a prison break
the guy is brought out to the outside at night and used the sextent andprays to his god and gets the info to stallonewho figgers out they are neer moorocco with the moors who butt raeped mattew sheppard
later staollone swallowed clotting powder t see dr and tells him of hsi book in the wardens office and to remember his oath
stllone sezs he cant stall warden longer anddr rereads his oath and unline many dr who give people poison cuz they were ordered to, he does hsi work and has stallone brought in and tells him he saw da book andwill work with him
stallone tells warden where the base is andthen stallone that they got 24 hours b4 the warden finds out the info is fake and he tapes a code on the wall in code tht theres a riot in c block but dr grant sends an email sighed arnie name
later there not many guards as they readied for cell block c and the guy who prays starts a riot and to quote trning mecard; all h-ll broke loose
some masked guards have guns butstallone and arnie take em out and get their weapons and arnie stallone and prayer to his god get up and have 11 mins to get to the top
stallone f's with the camera that are all connected and gets em to see only them and pops it but the jail goes on lcok down, every thing is set to as plode, now it seems i got to re load, amped up, da place is gonna blow!
they cant get otu and go around and gunfight guards but the guy who prays is capped in the butt pile in his abdomen
stallone finds out theres a motion detector and he disables it andand warden sez he is in control and owns his a55 and stallone is gonna blow the generator an give em 5 seconds to get out b4 the megnetic locks seal and wll be right behind em
the prayer tells arnie to go w/o him and opens fire on the guys coming at him and the inmate icer sez where they are and warden sez they mght be going fr the engine room
praying guy goes out dual wirlding pictols andtakes a buncha hits as i gues she had infinite ammo and eventually fgoes down
dont worry, he needs rest, he's gonna be ok, wait, wadend comes down and ends him, but its ok, he went to another deimsion and it was a robot duplicate and there was a hiostpial planet nearby
stallone fight rhe inmate icer and eventually sends him doen the stains where hes implied to bite it, but hes a brit so its ok, they aint real people, only cells
stallone turns off the power like that cruise where the toilets didnt work and people saved their waste in bags and it spilled and they lived in stink
the doors open and a chopper comes by and opens fire on the watchtower andlancs and arnie runs to em and warden and goons get to the area with stalloone and he goes on a path
arnie takes a machine gun and slo mo opens fire on guys and in the inner room, warden sez he knows of stallones woman and son andwill make the jail tougher and they turn the powr back but stallone is i the water tank andgets flushed out the toilet to the sea
arnie sees him as hes got bird eyes and they go to get stallone and h gets up a ladder andwarden opens fire on him with a handgun but arnie drops a gun and stallone gets it in mid air and warden caps arneis arm but staloljen caps oil drums and blows warden to h-ll
so theyget to shore and the sea eye ayy comes out and is arnies daughter whofaked it to get arnie out and she is the one arnie knew about and the whole thing was to get arnie out of jail
they shake hands and arnie hopes to never see him again as hes not in the dequel and its revealed that vicnetn devolved betrayed him to get a secutity job in the boat jail and 5 million a year and would seal stallone so it would probve the jail is unbeatable
50 sent catches vincent de evltuonized and he wakes up in is car in a crate in a boat where hes b[porbaly gonna die of dehydration
the end
That was pretty good
nice prison movie with action and twists
i forgot a bit like vincient dehmanized being a traitor or the praying guy's role but the hose scene and the guards fata55 loking like his gf i remembered
its a pretty cool movie and the heroes are actually smart and not only meat heards who beat their way out
also i think according to wikipedia they said arnold was the guy who stole from the alleged rich and his name in jail was a code name
but its good to see action heroes teaming up and this movie didnt do well in America but the other gaijin lands liked it
its not as violent or actiony as the 80s fims but its going for a different style
here they gotta get out and are under oppression instead of equal sides in a war
like beast machines to beast wars
plus both heroes got good lines
For Escape Plan 2 I want it to be about vincent donoffrio to be sent to some unknown island there are cannibals and sasquatch on i and he has to use his skills he got from stallone to try to get off. Also its a 128 bit game where you gotta make thing sand survive to get off before thesasquatc get you like pikman but more cannibalism and gore and its on sega dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xbox where you also find a tribe of pygmies who see you as a god and you use them to fight the sasquatch with steategy and traps.
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