Black Beauty Review

 Note; i spell blicketre bkack

Black Beauty

this is my revire on Black Beauty from the distant futute year (to andresw jackson) of 1994(20 years beofre Robotech Season 1 ended)

Its directed by Caroline Thompson wwho woeked with Tim Burton on several things

It stars openly devolved Alan C=mming from X2\Garfield: The Movie\Son of the Mask\The Smurfs 2011movie\Mr. Bean\Courage the Cowardly Dog\Frasier\Robot Chicken\Rick & Steve the Happiest Gay Couple in All the World\The Good Wife\Arthur, Sean Bean from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring\The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers\Equilibrium\The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King\Troy\Silent Hill\Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief\Jupiter Ascending\the live action Knights of the Zodiac\Robot Chicken/Silent Hill Revelations, David Thewlis from James and the Giant Peach\DragonHeart\The Island of Dr. Moreau frpm the 90s\Seven Years in Tibet\The Big Lebowski\Gangster No. 1\Timeline\Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban\Kingdom of Heaven\The Omen reboot\Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix\Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince\Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 and 2\War Horse\The Theory of Everything\Wonder Woman(weird that he's in Wart Horse  too)/Justice League, Jim Carter from Flash Gordon \ the 90s Richard III\Balto\Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland, Peter Davison (NOT pete as he's devolved) from Law & Order: UK, Alun Armstrong from Krull\Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire\Braveheart\Sleepy Hollow\Eragon, Peter Cook from The Princess Bride\Great Balls of Fire!, Niall O'Brien from Braveheart, and a bucnha guys I never saw and aint on back door, candy a55, soy boy, beta male, frooty booty, gender offender aids bag, uso suki wikipedia

Its based on a book Me not read from 1877 by Anna Sewell

I saw it before and thought it ws pretty good

after title and creits to soft music of a blue sky and full moon ti full screen and 90s good color we seea horse sitting on the ground eating grass and saying this is the srtory of his life

then the rest of the film is flashback and i think its sean bean pulls a baby hors out of a mommy horses a55 and it walks around

on't horses eat the afterbirth and placenta?

so the kid grew and loved being with its mom and much of it is horses moving aorund to music and enjoyin anture

imagne the requus guy watching this and j-rkin off to the sexy horses like the bronys do

sean put a muszzle on it and it dont like it and he's growing up and dont like it but sean bean sends him to spend a year with other horses

so then he gets trained and gets a bit put in his moutn and is into eating oats and goes on about it as they put a saddle on him

then thy nail horse shoes on his hoofs and gets trained to be riden an runs with th sean mr bean on him

so he sez bye to momlike anakin in star wars and goes to a new home and the rich people who bought him like an indentured servant and the lady who owns the place notices he's black

she wants to name it ebony but it sounds like bone like b0ning and a guys sez black bird after her uncles horse but that was ugly so she calls him black bneauty

i anna take his face... off!

whho am i? 'm spider man

we're on, the lanet of th apes!!

so he's put in thr stable with th other horses and they dont like him

this white a55 horse is riden by a girl and a boy takes over it and tries running it but the horse spazzes out and escapes and uses its mouth to open the gats and let the horses out

the boy is master alfred like in batman by tim burton and danny elfman and is sent to tea and the main horse wasn't let out

later he went to his horse he has a crush on and hits on her but she dont want him and kicks at him

thsi stable boy joe liek joe menglee joe stalin and joe biden is taught to be kind to the horses and main horde and crush pull a cart and she does more than him

he keeps trying to seduce her and she dont want him which feminists might call harassment and they/them dont get love unless its for something weird

later the main hors is pulling a cart an its a night strom and theyn have the horse pull it over a flooded birfge and he senses doom and dont go

the horseman goes on to pull the horse but the bridge side f'd out and he falls in the water as the horse holds on the strap leather thing with thr horseman on it

eventually horseman pulls his a55 back and thanks the horse for saving him but when they go back joe looks after the horse but dont know what dto do

he gets him cold water and dont give him his blanket as hes hot from the reaction to the icy rain

so main horse got sick someon from temoerature and his crush felt for him and softened

uncle horseman john sees joe f'd up like hes a devolved irishman and takes care of the horse

later he has some autism thing of every sound triggering him and later he gets better and joe hugs him and gets uncle horseman john

he was put in a paddock to recover and joe plays with him every day and lets joey ride him

je goes through launry and gets a white sheet on him like he's in the klan

so the lady owner goes to recover from an illness and in these stanlrsa guy smokes a pipe despite told hes not to but whinres about a lamp left by the hay

when he gets th lamp the ipe fals and starts a fire and main horse tries to warn the people but they don't speak horse

they lock the horses in the stanle anfthe fire picks up and horches the place andf the horses go mntal like its soviet korea where we sell horse mean(was it korra? Maybe nam)

joe hoes in to save the horse but he won't go w/o his crush and joey puts a blindfor on him and leads hi out

joey goesin and brings out the crish and there used to be a White A55 Horse with hair like a barbie doll

so the horses were ok but the lady owner goes to a warmer place and sez byes to the jon the joey and the horses

the last time the horses have in the pasture is a nice time and knda moved me to tears a bit

so White A55 Horse is taken away by the Vicker and Joey crush and him go to a new home ad jory sez one day he'd be with him again but leaves

the hih class probably inbred brits have the horses wear bearing reins to hold their heads up to look good but feels bad

crush dont like the bering sea reign and gets kinda b-=chy  and goes mental and breaks out of the cart and a wood bumps main guys leg

crush spazzes out on the floor and guys hold it down as the bearing reign choaks it

main guy goes back the the jail cell and walks in a circle as a brit struggles with it and he steps on the brits foot, like tobey in roots with a hoof not an axe

another horse man looking like curley mixed with larry treats the leg wound and the horses are put in wood things to heal

crish wasn't called to work for new master and ain horse is brought in to be painted but cr-ps on the floor offscreen

later this guy is drunk and main hore has a f'f shoe and cimbs on the horse the wrog way wondering where the head is and falls onn

he eventually drives the horse drunk and rides fast  and the shoe comes off, the horse f's out and drunk a55 falls and slams on the ground

is he dead? we can only hope

main horse thinks of his past and the next day the workers find them and he's ok and gets fired

later the son of thenew lady wins a horse race but crush is all f'd by it and they sell her and wait i think they sold main guy

he goes to a guy who rents him out to anyone who can and the horse slves he ownes hate him and kick him when they can

and they the horse turned to drugs and alcohol and p0rn0graphy and got into a gang and went around stealing from drug stores and selling it to grade schoolers

jk rally he goes to a fair andsees joey, now grown up like bart in hokuto no ken 2

he spazzes out and eventually joey  i mean somegy in a hat comes by an checks him out and after a haggle gets him for 17 guineas

main horse is taken through a slum and goes to a depressing hole in a city's a55 and is owned by a family  with kids thats kinda nice to him

they wanna call him jack but he's blacker than jack so hes black javk like the Osamu Tezuka character ad like hoy Tobey got a normal name in Roots by his new masters

the am is out and they get attacked by jack the ripper as this is the 1800s and he chops them pen as their ogans spill out and the scream

k really main horse pulls a cart and gets braids on its main and tail to look good and his new master is kind to him as a cab

so city life is cr-ppy but he likes his master jerry nd later gets to go to a ranch or w/e and got ti be happy there with grass and unpaved roads

after a visit to the country he returns and sees his crush all decroded and f'd by hard work and she goes on

at night he dreams of if they cold have been happy and this is kinda adand moving

later he sees the corpse of his crish taken to the glue factory like wuth forest gump and his revellionous woman

so master jerry i thinkcoughtg and might have the consumption and stays in the cold for hours as the party was sad to end at 9 but after migknight goes on and the high class brits dont see lower class ones as equal or human

this is why America is better, nuke england, should have sided with Zee Kaiser

later the son sz jerys lungs are f;d and he cantcab anymore so they probably will give the job to a gaijin wjo stinks and b0nes passangers w/o consent

so the fam sez bye to him and jeery looks unda and drives off

he's sold to a grain dealer and whipped andhas to pull loads of grain up hill and after 2 year he f's out and put up to sell

then out of nowhere joe comes back and his voice revived him and he calls out and joe remembers him

this is moving, i cried a little

joey comforts him and cys and takes him to live on a colorful green nature place where he ecovers and imagines being with his friends

that was great

clean but powerful.

you feel for the characters and its a good spectacle of showing loving nature and despair

its touching and has heart and moved me to tears but didn't need swearing or violence

its better than i remember it and the filming is great

the effects make you feel the horses damage and it didn't need cg

i never saw the other versions but i can see this being the best

its a good period piece and they didnt modernize it like devilman crybaby with  the b0ning and d0ngs

Its a touching meaningful movie and reminds me of the notebook with romance and feeling

The only animal we hear is the main one and its his story

kinda like with garfield thinking and not aying

I loved it and think the chick wo did it otta do more thing, esp 1800s books

i like the 1800s and it was a pretty grand film

Its bt WB when they were doing well with Tim Burton with Batman

For Black Beauty 2 I want it to be about a friend of Joey's got chppped up by jack the ripper and he and the horse team up to solve the mystert. Also its an 8 bit pont and clic game like Shadowgate o Sega Master System and Game Gear, NES, GB, TG16, Atari 7800 and Lynx and you find clues to find who is the real jack but it chanfes each time you playt based on actual suspects.