The Green Berets Review

 Note: I spell bad but at least I'm not a commie

The Green Berets

This is my review on The Green Berets from the distant future year to Jefferson Davis of 1968(50 years before Robotech Rick Hunter)

Its directed by Ray Kellogg who did The Killer Shrews/The Giant Gila Monster  and also directed by John Wayne who did The Alamo

It stars Elite Alpha Male John Wayne from Bardelys the Magnificent\the 28 Noah's Ark\the 30s The Three Musketeers\Blue Steel\Stagecoach\Angel and the Badman\Red River\Fort Apache\The Quiet Man\\Hondo\The Searchers\The Alamo\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\McLintock!\The Greatest Story Ever Told\Chisum\Big Jake\Cahill U.S. Marshal\Star Wars the 77 one/The Lucky Texan/True Grit, David Janssen from Cult of the Cobra/Moon of the Wolf, Jim Hutton from the 60s The Twilight Zone/Major Dundee, Aldo Ray who was ruined by the fim actors guild and 5kanks, from The Secret of NIMH, race whiner Raymond St. Jacques from Black Like Me/Glory, bruce cabot from King Kong/da 30s The Last of the Mohicans/Angel and the Badman/The Quiet American/McLintock!/Law of the Lawless/Chisum/Big Jake, Jack Soo from M*A*S*H, back door George Takei from Rodan/Star Trek I-VI/Mulan/Mulan II/Futurama: Bender's Game/You Don't Mess with the Zohan/Free Birds/Kubo and the Two Strings/60s The Twilight Zone/Star Trek/Star Trek: The Animated Series/The Simpsons/90s Spider-Man/Hey Arnold!/Batman Beyond/Samurai Jack/Futurama/Jackie Chan Adventures/Malcolm in the Middle/Transformers: Animated/The Big Bang Theory/2010s Pound Puppies/Transformers: Prime/Ultimate Spider-Man/Robot Chicken/the 20s The Twilight Zone, Patrick Wayne from The Quiet Man/The Searchers/The Alamo/The Comancheros/McLintock!/Big Jake, Luke Askew from Cool Hand Luke/Easy Rider/Posse, Irene Tsu from My Favorite Martian/The Rockford Files/Cold Case/Law & Order: LA, Edward Faulkner from McLintock!/The Ballad of Josie/The Shakiest Gun in the West/Chisum/Gilligan's Island, Jason Evers from The Brain That Wouldn't Die/Escape from the Planet of the Apes/The Stuff/60s Star Trek/The Rockford Files/Charlie's Angels/Happy Days/The A-Team/Matlock, Mike Henry but not the family guy one, from More Dead Than Alive/Soylent Green/Smokey and the Bandit I-III/M*A*S*H  Chuck Roberson from Angel and the Badman/the 40 The Three Musketeers/Blackbeard the Pirate/Hondo/Calamity Jane/The Searchers/The Alamo/The Comancheros/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/How the West Was Won/Chisum/Big Jake/Cahill U.S. Marshal/Rooster Cogburn/Blue Thunder, Edward Donno from Chisum/The Blues Brothers 1/The Untouchables/Santa with Muscles/Sweet Home Alabama, and sme guys i never saw in anything r aint on back door, soy boy, aids bag, Sodom bottom, frooty booty, banana crammer, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants, gender offender, wikipdia, whichthinks ampuree fetish is weird but guys getting parts removed is good

cuz sulu was working on this, he skipped some star trek and they brught Chekov in

the critics hated it but the REAL people loved it, like Godzilla Movies, and made nearly 5x its budget

it based on a book by Robin Moore who knew commieswere bad

its 142 mins long and made to be pro American and to show people how we were fighting the commies in nam, which kinda proved America right with the oppression the commies did

according to aids bag wikipeia: John F. Schultz sed "At lunch, the producers were going to feed us peons hamburgers and hotdogs while the main characters ate steak. John Wayne said '...we all get steak or nobody does.' Personally I prefer burgers over steak, but I agree with his style as its more American.

after logo and titlre and credits to a manly song promoting the green berets and its quite patriotic and manly to images of solfiers in widescreen and stylishly colored

then these soldiers tell their jobs and what they do and their languages thena briefing on the situation on the commies in nam taking over

the officers leave and john waybe talks withhow he's gonna be at a desk job when he gets there and  wants to get a lay of the area

he goes tosee the new recruits who are training and then more guys telling their stats and languages to i think the press as wayne comes in

1 reporter asks why America is fighting in nam andis told  soldiers go where they are sent and when an openly female reporter asks if they have feelings but is told they do and have to defend the south nam from the north like the confererates from the union

then sez if this happened in America, all mayers, teachrrs and senators and fams would be tortured and iced, which sounds good to some with the mess they caue but others don't agree

1 female sez she never heard this in the paper and is told the papers leave a lot out and 1 sez this new gov wasn't elected adn has no constitution but is told same with America in 1776

1 reporter sez this is the nams issue and not ours and is shown commie soviet and maruta guns made for the nam baddz and how the commies are taking over

the reporters are sent off to spread their commie lies and 1 sez to wane we otta not be there and wayne sez this cadnya66 was never in south asia(the cesspoole)

a soldier volunteers to serve john wayne in nam to do his part and after he leaves an openly black solier brings in hus record and sez hes good

wayne wants a guy whos a bada55 in korea and wont give up and wayne and crew asks him what hes doing in their area and sez he might wnna join but he denies it but finds he was stealing things like a liolet seat and he volunteers to avoid issue

wayne sends him to return all he stole and he was caught 1/100 times

later its get up time andits 3 30 and they got 10 mins to pack as 1 guy is malcontent over it

they go to south nam and in a military base and wayne is relieving th past commander whos glad to be released

they are in fuller filed like fokker field in robotech and its named after a guy who died in honor

wayne meets an Asian and is filled in on details of a camp in viet ong area and how martin lutorn cong attacked

waybe suggests sending a force up and another one do something but i'm not following it well as its military talk im not used to

1 solder sez all the names and streets are named after dead war heroes and dont wanna be next as his name dont fit those places

wayne meets col morgan like kendrix morgan in power rangers andhas doubts they go up in a chopper with 1 soldier saying this will make lsfd feel like asprin, which both are bad if you look into it

wayne sez we got teams on the Cambodian and laos border and they go to a camp whee wayne sez t cut back th killing area 300 feet

they go to a place called dodge city and see unji sticks but not dipped in cr-p like the cong do but also have land mines which princess diana was against and the royals ended her for as England makes em

a captain was out with guys and was attacked and has wounded and they meet a reporter whos here to tell what he wants people to hear from the war

theres an Asian kid wo plays prankslike wire to trp guys and is a mascot or w/e who's fam got iced and his fam was missionaries who got iced

they go over th base stuff and its exits and if the cong take over theres a secret exit only 2 guys know of

later its rining hard and the kid plays in the rain with a tpy boat and wounded are come in with sulu as a freedom soldier

if only imperial Japan joined in the fight, they'd put the fear into em like maruta in ww2

sulu fought for 11 days and plays a nam hero despite being  nippojin and his home was in Hanoi but the cong took over and he wants to retutn one day

my grandpa had to flee Slovenia after the commies took over and didn't return til after the ussr fell, so i can relate

the stealing soldier got em cr-p and said the good fairy got it and ot sulu as h'es not a good guy in many ways

at the night the guys say it would be a good country f not the the war/monsoonsand the other guys play poker as they didn't invent yugioh yet

the openly black dr treats a war victim whos dying andthinks he lost hope but then the kong attack and not donkey kong and use mortors but sulu sez they attack every other night to throw em off and has eyes in the camp

1 guy got it and was gonna go home tomorrow like he had 2 days til retirement and daughters graduating from college

then its day and they send choppers out to draw cong gunfire to lure em out then oper fire on em amd blow em to h e double soviet california

if we sent ninja in they could go 731 on em

later 1 guy has 2 casesof burbon e traded a crossbow and ho chi min sandals he made and other things

the kid sleeps in the same bed as the brbon guy and just like Michael Jackson, nothing x rated happened as they aint queer or b0ning

then its day and a big a55 chopped like in Super C brings in a bulldozer to move back the jungle to increase the killing zone so the kong dont got kover

when readying things they otice an Asian is suspect and slug him out and see he pacing the distance and sule  grills him in kong talk, checks him and back hands him

theres a cigarette lighter on the guy and find its got a message from his wife on it

the reporter sez hes gonna out their alleged brutality and john wayne sez the lighter ower was a dr and was head removed and mutilated

whenthe reporter wants du process john wayne bada55ledly sez "out here due process is a bullet" and i thnk the sulu b0ned him dead

give him a full on Shiro Ishii!

so later the Americans are helping the nam kids and a gu brings in his rand daughterwo sepped on a punji stick and got infected but America aids her

wayne sez the guy must trust em with his grandkid but grandpa dont wannacome in the base as theres viet kong propaganda against America like how the media hates on America in the 1st world

openly black dr puts a bandaid on herleg andgrandpa hates the kong as they take people to fight for em s john wayne offers food protection and money but he know not what is money as hes in a commie land

john wayne goes wit grandpa t sunrise and cme acroff a trap hole with spikesand a spike wall trapby a trip wire but suspect grandpa is playing both teams and not like a queer

they go back and find a village of corpses with some burning areas and a body on a stick with a sign against the green betets

they hear the kong iced the chief and men who resisted wrn the long came to draft the men to fight for em, like indentured servitude and the little girl got b0ned dead by 5 viet kong solfiers

opebly black guy fins her and gives the guy who was nice to her the item he gave the girl

john wayne sez how its hard to deal with the war in person, and how the last village he went to, the kong gutted the chiefs daughters, b0ned his wife andbeat her dead with a steel rod

ad the media is like "but both sides did  bad" as they/them hate America and Freedom

reporter seems to have grown a soul from trauma and stays and at the camp they hear the kong are making ladders to get across the barb wire and coffins to inpire em to fight hard and theyn leave no survivors, not even kids

later at a club its fmed like a French film and this Asian singer whos fam got iced awful, probably by b0ning, is a double agent for em and sigs a song of gay a55 paree

so the kong are swarming and are nearing the basewith lights in the night looing like unknown lights in night vision but its a trck and the Americans boost the north wall

kid is put in the sand bag safe place and told to stay there but calls the soldier petr san like hes a Nipponjin and  the kong attack

the lt throws the reporter in the hole but gets blown apart andtheres nothing leftand a motar fight brwaks out with a Wilhelm scream and reportwr aids the military

the kong use ladders but get mowed down and john wayne in a chopper but the chopper got hit and goes down and the front blows so thry escape and 1 guy has a body burn

tthey are behind enemy lines likr that movie seriesbut the Americans save em

the kong break in and the people in the base flee and its like robotech how in the SDF 1 is a city andthe enemy attacks in it

the kids dog runs off and he dumba55edy goes after himnd finds it dead, but in nam they eat dog, i saw a vid on youtube of a nam guy maing dog bbq

the soldiers go out to fight the entering kong andthis guy sees the kid is gone and goes out to find his inbred a55

the Americans use a fire attack and burn the kong and solder finds the kid making a grave dor his pet as the kid had  only the dog and the soldier left

more kongs spll in wa a swam of ants to feed ona man and the Amercans pull bac but john wayne says they'll ve back b4 the sun comes up

Amercans ets come in ad are told where to attck and blow em out with an attack then the Americans run in with john wayne climbing a tower as the sun rises

some kong et in a machinegun nest and shred an American but sulu prepared for this and blows the nest

the town falls and sulu gets it and the American retreat and the kong take over and raise their flag but an Aerial attack from puff the magic tragon (the chopper) shreds the ong from above

jown wayne cuts dwn the kong flag andthey regroup but reporter wonders what to do so wayne says to go back to work and reporter thins if he says what really happened he'd get fired but wayne offer him a job

john wayne meets a wounded guy who didn't want go b4 the iced and waye gives him some liquor and its the guy wjo didn't wanna have his name on a thing

he whispers something to wae and bites it and gets his name put on the toilet rom

john waybe meets guys in a top secret meeting andhears theres a new leaderas general and is highly defended and the singer and her hand chosen team can get him and they want wayne

singer says how her dad wanted to stay neutral andwas exected by the kong and she says its the general they are going to get an this is a lot like Street Fighter with Chun Li and Bison

colonel Asian says her dad and generals dad grew up together and she's colonels brothers wife

like in Joex Noel with the guys saying "Your German is quite good." "Your wife isn't French."

The Green Betets come in on parachutes and the gy playing Kowalski is not really Polish, he's in Borsht Face!

they berry the parachutes and 1 guy f;d his ankle and they leave hima nd  guard back

1 guy fightd a buncha kong and picks 1 up and skerwes it on a tree but gets tabbed but fights off and ends the other kong including throwing a knife like castlevania

he calls in to waybe but bites it and the guys return and fidn the mess  and how he took all those kong with him like Hyo vs Kaiohs worces in Hokuto No Ken 2

they come across a bridge and plan to blow it and leave a guy there to do it as his dad got him a chemistry set as a kid and he got into blowing things

they come to a house and at night the Americans go in to get the general whos inside with singer

The Americans ice the konguards and sneak in like ninjqa and the workers are having a poker game

they get in generals room and see singer wearing only a planket and catch him then inject him with liquid autism or sleep drugs and wayne comes down a rope with chick singer on his bac and gets out

the Americans leave and somone shoots someone and the poker guys run out but hit a wire and blow

they get general in a car andgo off andthe Americans stand by s chemistry guy rigs the bridge

they its daylight andjohn wayne calls on his car phone and tells the guys at the bridge who later take out te guards 

at the checkpoint waye slugs out a guard an the Americans jack moorcycles and blow the checkpoint

openly black guy got it in the back bt is alive for now and aye and the boys dump the car in the water

in a clearing they get ready to get the f out andinflate anthing and it gets this catch thing to pull the general out and into the plane going by

1 soldier i think boys kid frien chooses to take the lead and john wane talks with colnel Asian about snger having b0ned the general and how her future in up to him

colonel taks with singer and she hopes her fam forgives her but col as thers nohing to frgive

and in Judith Of Bethulia she seduced the enemy leader and iced him like a Ninja

as they walk on 1 guy is caught in a trap and stuc on a spike wall and thats the end of him

at this base with planes and choppers going reporter tells kid the peter is coming andi think he enlisted to serve his country instead of lie about it

john wayne comes back andsays the mission was a success but cost a ot and kid looks for his peter but he's already dead and kid gets bummed and not like Hollywood guys do

john wayne comforts him as Japanese music plays and wait, his name is Peterson and the kid is called Hamchuck like HamEgg in Astro Boy

john waye sas he'd look after him andcalls him a green betet and walks off with hi as the sun goes and credits toThe Green Betets Song

The End

that was pretty good

\holds attention and oesn't drag or fee long like titanic

nce action and the acting and music are good

apparently sulu was against nam byt wane told him "so's half the cast but ur hired for acting not politics"

I hear waynes character is based on  Lauri Törn who was finnsh and fought for the axis nut came to Ametica and fought for e, but vanished in nam but his pieces were found in 99, which makes sense as he fought commies both times.

openly lying Wikipedia clams this is n "anti communist propaganda" film like how THEY call Unplanned "propaganda" but does not do so for Super Size Me, michael moore cr-p, or similar fioms that have a slant like 12 years a slave or shindlers list

this was a cool and well made fil and it does a good jo telling the story and showing America as good

many later films tried to be the anti This like platoon but this was an anti to the malcontents hating on America during nanm

so a reverse of reverse like Yugioh the 00s movie

I liked this and it was a good watch, even if you disagree ith the message, the movie is well made and has Heart earth Dragon In Attack Mode

For The Green Berets 2 I want it to be later in nam and the commies are gaining, but the kid has been training wth Ninja in Japan and Americans under John Wayne and known Ninja Magic and skills. He gets info while vivisecting a viet cong on the location of ho chi min and he and John Wayne go in with the latest tech and gadgets to take him out and end the war. Also its a 2 player Beat Em Up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA with 1 player as Ninja Kid and another as John Wayne and they fight in various viet nam places like jungles, caves burned villages, cities, ancient ruins andho chi mins palace withhm as the finsl boss and devolves into a rat daemon who came to this realm to ruin the world after being summoned by the maruta after ww2.