Saturday, November 30, 2024

The King Of Fighters Review

 NoteL I spell more accutate than this movie got the series

The King of Fighters

This is my review on The King Of Fighters from 199 2010 (The year of Transformes season III in Japan and Robotech Season 01)

Its directal by Gordon Chan who did a buncha hong kong kung fu wang tang films

It stars Sean Faris from Pearl Harbor/Smallville/Boston Public/Pretty Little Liars,  animal supremacist Maggie Q from Rush Hour 2/Designated Survivor, Will Yun Lee from Total Recall remake/San Andreas/V.I.P./Law & Order/The Good Doctor(ew  think he was the beta male), Ray Park from Mortal Kombat Annihilation/Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace/Tim Burtons Sleepy Hollow/X-Men 1/Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever/Solo: A Star Wars Story, Monique Ganderton frpm Samurai Girl/White Chicks/I, Robot/Resident Evil: Apocalypse/Fantastic Four/X-Men: The Last Stand/Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer/Postal/Devil's Diary/Watchmen/The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus/2012/The Cabin in the Woods/Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Françoise Yip from Romeo Must Die/Alone in the Dark/Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem/The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story/RoboCop: Prime Directives, Hiro Kanagawa from The Day the Earth Stood Still reboot/Grave Halloween/2014 Godzilla/The Outer Limits/Sliders/Smallville/Blade: The Series/Blackstone/Kim's Convenience/Designated Survivor/The Good Doctor/Star Trek: Discovery/Avatar: The Last Airbender/Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat/InuYasha/Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes/Black Lagoon, Mike Dopud from Rollerball remake/Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever/X2/Walking Tall/Alone in the Dark/BloodRayne//Spider-Man 3/300/Postal/Rise of the Planet of the Apes/Tasmanian Devils/X-Men: Days of Future Past/2014 Godzilla/Canada Russia '72/Smallville/Arctic Air/Spider-Man on N64/Spider-Man: Mysterio's Menace, and a number of guys I ain't seen in anything or ain't on back door, candy a55 aids bag, frooty booty banana crammer, Sodom bottom, queer as a deer witn a sreer in its rear, gender offender, hippie vagan stoner pta tree kung fu based on plants wikiedia whichgives in to the memtally f'd' fantasies.

I only played the KOF Games on GB, GBA and the bootleg of 99 on Genesis from the ussr or w/e but did like the Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting games and did Capcom Vs SNK 2 EO on GameCube, but I don't know much of the series canon or haracters and usually play as Mai Shiranui

POeople hated this one and thought it s-cked, probably cuz Mai wasn't as hot and they changed a lot

I'll give it a cance but I never saw it b4

so it stars with a chick getting out of the shower in a towel and puts an ear thing i and then is in a blue light area

a voice sez she's mai and she sez he's rugal and they fight and wait, she said freezing hole and he fights with sticks and i think its mr big from art of fighting

the music is kinda 90s and theres cool camera stuff anf she does well bt takes a face hit, which is good to see they didnm't queer out of having chicks get punched like most things do

she wins and a flying cg thingis up and she sez its her win but he ges up for round 2 and they fight until he loses his stcks andfists but she rams his head in a table and i thin he's gonna be ok and needs rest cuz he's talking

mai grabs this sphere and goes back to the shower and takes the ear thing out and cus her finger on something and the blood drops on the amera for credits and title with cheap cg like a 90s movie or start of the 00s

also if it is mr big, he don't shave his head, have a moustache or shades, but does have a coat

so mar goes out an this Asian is tere and they are a couple and he's not Andy unless he got devolved/had race transition surgery

at the boston cultural museum private event they go in as he's iyoi yagami or w/e and gets in w/o invire

1 guy in a co car b--ches about being in the third wotld with better srvailence tech

iori introduces Chizuru to Mai and sez mai advanced as a fighter but is nervous of the artifacts being displayed but some guy insisted as he's in financial control of the tournament

the guys in the car watch the paty on cameras like the gov does and mai sez abou iori "the way they trat you, u'd think you were THE KING OF FIGHTERS"

I wanna take his face... OFF!!

Who am I? I'm Spider Man!

In this video B0ning, we shall see, Austin Powers IN Goldmember!!

iori sez hes a fighter cuz hes the last o his klan, like all these things its ALWAYS the last of his Klan.

ust watch there be like a half dozen others like in DBZ how Goku is one of the last Saiyans, but then we got Broly, Paragus, Tullas, Tarble, and the others

Makes me question if they REALLY got wiped out, or if it was exaggerated

iori promizses to tell mai why he retied early and dont tell her now cuz we got 80 more mins to fill

Chizuru meets mr Iwata like the guy in riki-oh or kana from hamtaro and i think he's the financial guy and they go to this theatre and iori takes mai to a batter place

there are III treasures of the klans that make the kng of fighters tournament possible and its the sowrd jewel and mirror like in sailor moon or imperial Japan that together open the gates set me free, i must be free, open the gate, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

iori and chizuru are from klans that control the items and theres energy that works together to open the dimensions

but they use ear things to use their energy to go to the kof dimension and mai sez it dont make sense but iori sez Chizuru's dad was a gensios who did it

theres he Kusanagi sword that is the only thing that can beat the orochi, which in here is a daemon spirit that was banished to that dimension 1800 years ago and promizes limited power to anyone wo frees him.

you mean like the yamata orochi, the 8 headed dragon thing that was slain by that pagan Japanese god after getting him drunk or w/e? like with Shutendoji and the monks?

but again, iroi dont tell mai what happens if the orochi is freed and sez u need all III items to unlock it, like the stones in Zelda ocarina of time to open the temple

outside a guy comes up to a guard and somehow splatters him on the window as we see a red goo blast on it and I guess he used a ki blast or something or went full riki-oh and punched him so hard he splattered

the car guys move andchizuru seems worried then a guy comes in andhas a red neck thing so all theseguards run to it as he goes to chizuru who greets him

he pulls a gun and blows guards out, thros chizuru down and pulls a machine gn to aste guys, chuzuru fighs him but he gets the Kusanagi blade and mai/irori ion in the fight

in the chaos chizuru got cut and the bag guy gets beat don but as the check chizru, he gets the items and runs with ori chasing him

iori gets to him and he wants iori to join him but iori dont consent so they fight and ior gets his a55 kicked with the items used to block and hit.

the bad guy is gonna blade iori's neck but guardscome and he spares iori and runs as the guards chase him but he gets to a room, cuts his hand with the blade and thanks chizuri for the lesson, and huffs his blood

the guards get in as he sace folds into another realm with 2 of the items and leaves the blade

as chizuru is taken off by dr's, she tells the mai the blade is fake and they gotta find the real one as its not a game in the dimension of fighters if 1 submits to the orochi and turns the tourney into a deathmatch

she sez to find Saisyu Kusanagi who has the real blade and the bad guy who's Rugal but looks nothing like him in the games, needs it to free the orochi and be unbeatable like in the games, but don't get Kiori and she has to go alone

this is like a less good version of Fatal Fury The Motion Picture with finding these items to unlock god powers and a bad guy wanting em, only the characters are less hot.

she goes to a hospital to see saisyu and gets a text message on her phone and ignores it to go see saisyu who's in an autism thing where he is in his own world and wont respond

despite being spazzed out for a decade he only has a bit of face hair and his head hair aint long but he dont respod

a guy looking like draon ball evolution Goku comes in and his son Kyo Kusanagi comes in but is White as the Japanese are White and she tells of chiszuru being hospitalized and the relics being stolen but he knows nothing of it

she goes and kyo tends to his devolved dad and helps him lay on a bed and kyo reads his veggie ad kung fu things and parables as we see him training in martial arts with his dad

1 thing he sez its the empty spaces in things like jars or rooms that makes thng useful, otherwise its a brick

the next dad may wakes up in her car like jerry Seinfeld in the cadalac and goes in the hospuatl and meets iori who didn't talk to chizuru and mai sez she was sent to find a missing relic

iori sez she's not meant for this and to go and mai sez saisyu has a son and they go see him and when iroi sez his name, saisyu awakens and trys to kill him

its like with broly and goku or something, but the thing is, people dump onz broly for hating kakarot for crying when he was born, even though that day he got shanked and hsi planet blw, but are ok with kaiba making a death park to kill yugi cuz he beat him in a card game once

e stops afterkyo talks to him but then dies or something, then some guy with chizuriu in hospital stuts down the tournament and warned the fighters, but rugal ovrrided it by taking control over it frm in the dimension and challenges everyone

after seeing some guys stretching 2 queer chicks like a go nagai manga lmost do what they consider b0ning but get a call to the fight and go even though the warning said no and this is now 2 of em on 1

they go in and like Digimon season 2, their clothes change when they go to the other world and they look like a p0rn0 version of a fighting game, like with Edward p=nishands

the chicks are called vice and mature like the opposite of virtue and family friendly and rugal is on roller blades with a hocey mask and stick and se he can change the ruiles

we get an announcer and it looks like a bad ep of are you afraid of the dark andhe beats on em but falls on his skates andtakes em off to wear a backwards bsseball cap like a 90s kid

both chicks attack andafter taking a few hits, he wails on em with after effects like a fire leg and i impacts and gets the blonde i a cr-ppy headlock and is gonna end her

the non blonde offers to do anything and rugal smooces the blondeand i think she dies and he gets the non blonde to work for her i mean him

she is vice and calls her droogs to fight rugal andlooks like a guy with that hair and is't wearing muh

the we see blonde with vice tied to a chair and rgal buts his mouth on hers as she screams and i hink he cured her or enslaved her

so terry bogard is in the sea i a and checks on chizuru and her indentured servant scott over scotts blog and scott dont wanna help him

also in the games terry is a roaming street fighter practicing his art of fighting against various time killers in fights like a samurai shodown of fatal fury and primal rage, not a gov agent

so terry gets on his blog in his computwr and was the guy tracking her in the car and stopped rugal from taking the blade but the blade was fake

he knows of their tournament and dont know where it is and dont believe in their dimension tourney but scott sez string theory sez its possible to have 10 o 11 dimensins in the same area, which is true as there's the planck scale and folded spae, some say daemons and aliens are from there and not other planets, same with sasquatch

hizuru tells rugal is in the tourney dimension to ice the fighters to beoe the king of fighters with the orichi cr-p but terry dont buy it and chizuru sez mai is his undercover agent who is in sviet seattle and hizuru knows of it and tosee her as she'dback it up

in some snoey place, irori and mai walk ad s he tells her to move on and kyo can't be the Kusanagi guy as he's a halfbreed and Japan is f==kin racist, but then again, most plaes are, like korea and india and Africa

i find it ironi that all these k pop beta male fans hate on America for black guys stopped by cops when korea treats half Koreans, esp the black ones, like sh-t

its like that brain damaged bozer saying "cassious clay" is my slave name, call me a mus lim name" when the cassious clay he was anmed after was against slave owners rights, and the mus lims he chose to name himself after were big supporters of slave ornwers rights, like saying "don't all me ronny reagsn, dats my commie name, call me joey stalin!"

mai asks of the orochi and he sez she wont understand but its prue evil, but she bugs him and he sez it gives u power but is additive and consumes oyu, like drugs or p0rn0

kyo asks what iori did to his dad as he was veggied for a decade but came to life at him

iori sez the kusanagi and yagami are destined to be enemies,wait, waht agopbut light yagami from death note and motokto kusanagi from ghosts in the shell? 11's a cop 1's a crook.

kyo leaves and iori sez kyo cant gelp em but mai goes with kyo on his mototcucle lik devilman in the 70s and tells him of the r-lp this movie is doing

they go to a bike iing place and talk to a mehani who kyo thinks f'd up a bike that used to work and kyo fixes it as mai looks around and hees kyo has a gaijin  other like ryo asuka in a photo so he's a whigte dude

then again my dads slovenain and moms polish and I look pretty milky white and blonde with my dad being ethnic with dark hair/skin/wyes

he tells her his dad got f'd by a touenemnt and when he wants to know what else she nows of them, she walks off and he reahes for her but she beats him up with kung fu on inctinct but ez sorry

hs arms dislocated and she pops it bak in and they fall on the floor but dont b0ne cuz this isn't the internet and then both are in tank tops and his arm works

she sez she needs the sword andkyo dont think his klan histoey is real and they talk of iroi being his future ruval

kyo sez ioris ancestor tried to releae the orochi to be the king of fighters but it made him violent like using chronic and the Klans united and iced him to send the orochi to its world

mai sez its happening again and if rugalwins they cant stop it so kyo wantsto find rugal for breaking his das brain

they return to iori and want his help butioei dont wanna help and terry comes in and sez rugals killing in the tournamemt and its not lie mortal kombat or etetnal champions or bloodstorm or primal rage or time killers where you do that.

terry shows em video of bodies from da turny and rugals involved andneeds their help but mai sez they need the sword and ior busts  kys a55 for being a isgrace to his klan so kyo has enugh and ants to fight rugal in the dmensiuon

terry sez its not realistic and kyo agrees and mai sez she did go there and terr wants her off the case which makes others know shes an agent and lied to em

in the games, mai is a ninja in a smpy outft and gf to Andy Bogard who's Terry's brother and a big beefy manly dude voiced by the guy wo was Bart in Hokuto No Ken 2 and Kenichi in Violence Jack Oav 1

ioi is gonna go but mai sez its too gdangerous and he dont give a sh-t and dumps on her for beign an agent and use the ear thing to go to the dimension and sees people in masks in a room

rugal tries to get him to join but he dont wanna and rugal uses fire glitter from his hands and the hicks attack him 2 on 1 which isn't kosher, you gotta take turns in k o f

the fight is actually pretty cool and has flashes of ki or light or w/e and rugal smokes a cigar like Arnold Schwarzenegger when hes not the spuminator 2 j-ZZ man gay where he fights john bonner played by Edward footlong

irori is doing cr-ppy but goes inuyasha daemon andblows em off with a burst of ki and slaps em around and beatsm on em, which  gotta say, they had the gius to have a dude beat up chicks instead of queering out uz "yOu cAnT HiT a GiLr" when hciks beat on guys non stop

this g gon-d comes by him as rugal tries to get him to give in but he jerks out the ear thing and returns to the ningen kai after grabbing a glowing floating sphere

he's all spazzed out and tells mai to stay away as his eyes are f'd and kyo has enough and books it but terry tells her off for her love triangle like robotech that might f up the world with demon ki or w/e

mai is bummed over him not liking her but terry asks who she means and she gets whiny and terry rides her a55 more and not like on the internet

they are in an abandoned fish canery and are on a budget and then we see i think rugal or maybe not with bad cg snakes by him and lolig spazzy

later iori meets kyo and talks of what its like to be a Kusanagi and how its kyos destiny to stop the orochi but kyo dont belive

iori gives him the ear thing and he goes to the dimension and sees rugal and his chicks and is easily beat around by rugal who lets him live to tell his friends to come face him and rugal gets this 90s cg sphere

kyo gets back and leaves as mai complains that iroi almost killed kyo but kyo is onflicted over what to do and how everyone is better than him like me using archfiends at yugioh when gayer decks that are more overpowered get more support and i still fight on for my kattobingu spirit for that is my nindo

oh kyos at his dads grave and talking to the stone and sez he'd be like water and go with the flow like bruce lee said before THEY did him

mai comes and kyo sez he dont know why dad went there as he was a peaceful dude and they talk on bu i dont care ust get to the fighting, tekken's movie did it and that was a year before this one

mai needs him cuz hes the last kuanagi and is the last of his klan but he thinks he's no up to the job like Dalton McGuinty in 90s Canada and mai sez neither knoes what kyo is bu they need hi to beat rugal

kyo gets this blad from a bx like in Shenmue 1 and terry used Chizuru's ist to steal the head things from the fighters by gov confiscation and mai b--ches at him for it

chizuru comes in a wheelchair and then walks and sz rugal is too strong and is gonna merge the worlds like the sonichu guy wants and scotty sez itd a multiverse and can use a portal to force fighters into his dimension an then i think mai gets sent in thete

kyo has the Kusanagi and idnt give em it as its his last connection with his dad and he didn't trust those c=ck suckers, probably cuz they are the gov and the bad guys, and now he's gonna go in

chizuru sez believn in himself and its too dangerous for iori to go in as he might fall off the wagon and give in the the orochi liek a p0rn0 addict j=rkin off to really devolved things like on the learning channel

mai wanders the halls until trry shows up and she elbows him cuz he snuck up on her and kuyo is there too

rugal comes in and chizuri sez to come to the real world but he sez here hes immortal but she se thi isn't life  but where they go to improve for the real worl;d but ruhal sez when this realm expands it will be da reel world and hed be king and invincible

chizuru sez they have the sword and kyo sez saisyu was his dad and kyo draws his blade but the queer chicks attack and rugal runs si kyo chases him

kyo fight rugal alone and mai is in what looks like a Detroit like slum and ugly homies are there and this is getting like he intermnet

chuzur clones herself to fnd the other items and kyo fighs rugal who ha a pole weaopon in a place like where his dad trained and rgal sez kyos dad tried to wack him but kyo sez it as the orochi that made him do it and his daddy loved him

rugal beats down kyo and gets a few weapons beforechoosing a baseball bat and fights before cutting to terry and mai fighting the queer chicks in detolirt

terry gets beat on and believes the dimension yhings andthey run from the pack of slum scum

rgal hits base balls of fire ki at kyobut kyo gets better wih his blade and rugal gets a bladeand is dressed like geese howard

rugal beats down kyo againad is gnna finosh him but iori comes inlooking like the crow and kicks him away

mai and terry fight hobos and sm lasbians and terry beat on 1 and its good to see the men and woman fighting as equals

iori fightw rugal and we getta voice aying round 1 andthe go at it aswe keep seeing terry and mai ighting the queers, ooh, terry gave her a boot to the head and main umped on her from above and stompe her through the floor, then the blonde came after her but mai doded and the queers took each other out

the queers are ok and running and mai and terry chase em to get to their place but terry gets lost but beats out a guy and takes his hat so hes got the red jkt and hat

iori and rugal go at it and ue fire attacks and cr-p but kyo defends iori and the queer chicks come in through the wall

rugal sez chizuru called a lan meeting btu iori was the new member while kyos dad was there and rugal came to take the power items as he harnessed the orochi power and foight kyos dad

all three foight him but feared the orochi power and got beat down  but saw the cg snake ball gt and i guess thats the avatar of the orochi and he grabbed it and tok the orochi powerto beat away rugal

he couldn't control it and pummeled rugal but swatted away chizuru and beat kyos dads dead on a thing til he was a vegetable in  berserk fury or fuhrer in Japan

in the dumenson iori goes mental and beats on kyo  for sme reasonbut mai stop himand kyo and her hold him

kyo takes the blade and sticks it in his neck, then twists it so it carves a hole in it and says "say hi to my father, in h-ll!" then jerks the blade and his head flies off in slo mo cg

jk rally iori gets up and strangles mai for lying to him but kyo slices his back to bleed the snake outta him and all this jet black ki barfs outta him

rgal claps his hands and they are in the crow or some rotting slum and mai, kyo and iori are there and rgal blasts a fire attack but mai blocks it and uses some kinda electric ki barrier as i guess she's a Naruto ninja now

chizuru comes in and has cones and sez this is his last chance but rugal dont give in and attacks the clones who wink out when hit

chizuru holds the mirror, iroi hold the jewels and kyo fire a lightening fore 4 beat outta the blade into em and lightening is around rugal, but he blasts away chizuru with a fire attack and sez hes too poweful and blasts a car with a fire attack at em

mai comes in andfights himand he uses fire kicks and eventually terry gets there and the lesbians are there so terry fights em and hobos like in thefatal futy 2 oav as mai goes off

iori and kyo fight rugal and he holds his own like ss4 full powr limit break broly taking on ss4 limit break full oower xeno vegeto and ss blue kaiohken x 20 vegeto, and xeno goku in ss4 full power limit break is equal to ultra instinct goku, who's only art of vegeto, so z broly is the strongest z warrior

terry gets beat out, which is not canon as the real terry bogard took on the god mars in the fatal fury movi which is like some saint seiya stuff, and iori thinks he cant beat him

chizuru wants mai to take her place to use the item and she ont know if she can but chizuru dissolves into ki or chg or w/e

mai uses the item with the 2 guys and they use blue lightning ki to trap ruagal and try to seal him as they dodge his attacks

he scteams and the black ki omes for him and he blows em back with the orochi power and comes for mai but kyo steps in and is beat down and has flash backs to his dad

terry is swarmed and beat on and we get ore flashbacks of kyo of this movie we saw mins ago and rugal fires a black of flame at him but he counters with his arm making a blacde of ki and slicing the fire away

the blade is glowing and he throws it as it catches fire and the black orochi ki books it as the blade slces through rgals head and his skin burns off and he blows apart

and no i didn't make that up for once, that happened and its not as brutal as i sounds

the hobos and queers fall over and terry is beat up and walks off and so does iori

later kyo puts a paper lantern at the sea for his dad cuz hes kinda Asian and terry mai and scott are there and wanna continue the toruneamernt with scott wanting to start today and fix up the ar pieces as they walk off leaving kyo

kyos dads ghost sez its time to face his destiny an this thing got him true friends and how water knows how to benefit all things w/o stiving for em by staying in low places, what about floods and dorwning?

then a lmng zoom to iori in a white suit like a lantation owner and credits to a really 00s song like an uwe boll movie as it isn't straight enough to have them jump kick at each other like dragonball evolution

the end

that actuallyu wasn so bad

yeah its like a cr-ppy 90s thing and dont follow the canon

but its got some good fighys, when not talking endlessly about plot that not so great

its mae in 2010 and feels like it should be some direct to video thing from 1998 with steven segal or jean claude van damme or dolph Lundgren

i can see why peolpe hate it, but i dont, its really non canon but mpst movies change things for it

the ating is mostly ok but it seems like some actors didnt' care for it and didn't try hard

the music is good and the effects fit as its a low budget cr-ppy video game film

theres a lot to complain about but i dont think it ruins the film

if you enjoyed uwe bolls house of the dead or bloodrayne or alone in the dark, this should be better kinda maybe

imagine if they did voltage fighter gowcaizer but kept the costumes the same, it would look like a bad 90s p0rn0 with all the leather skimpy outfits and jiggling

glad i watched this, it gets better as it goes on kinda

and i'm surprized they kept in mr big whos from art of fighting.

Plus the violence was pretty good with people being beat and chopped.

rugals end was cool and there was a kind of 90s fun to it like something out of a game show or something like rugal and hockey or the quips

its better than they say when you think of it

For The King Of Fighters 2 I want Mai and Terry to be on another mission and Terry's alpha male brother Andy shows up and they need him, but he's training to be a ninja and had a falling out with Terry over wanting to be in the gov as Andy knows what THEY are into. Also Ash Crimson is a gov made hermaphrodite experiment who broke free and is interfering with the dimension and wants the orochi power to make everyone into hermaphrodites as it sees gender as outdated, and Andy's Nina skills are needed to beat it with a secret Ki attack he learned on hsi traveleds. Also Mai is in love with Andy for his manliness and in the final battle against Ash Crimson, she takes a hit for him and he uses a ki ability with Terry with his love for her to reformat her like beast machines and she's really thicc and in a pleather anime outfit that shows oof her M cups and 70 inch butt. Also its a 128 bit 2D beat em up on dreamcast, gamecube, xbox and ps2 where up to 4 players can team up and use any of the k o f guys and fight hermaphrodite slaves of ash crimson and bosses are several people fused into 1 body and are all devolved and malphormed.

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