The Quiet American Review

 Note: i spell quietly good

The Qiet American

This is my revuiew on The Quiet American from the diatant future year of 2002(A year before Astro Boy)

Its directed by Phillip Noyce who did Clear and Present Danger/The Bone Collector/Rabbit-Proof Fence

It stars Michael Caine frop Zulu/The Eagle Has Landed/The Swarm/Monty Python's The Meaning of Life/Jaws: The Revenge/Dirty Rotten Scoundrels/On Deadly Ground/Miss Congeniality/Austin Powers in Goldmember/Batman Begins/Children of Men/The Dark Knight/The Dark Knight Rises/Interstellar/Dunkirk/A Bridge Too Far, n Fraser from Encino Man\Airheads\George of the Jungle\Gods and Monsters\Blast from the Past\Looney Tunes: Back in Action\The Simpsons\King of the Hill/The Whale, Do Thi Hai Yen from nothing i saw, Rade Šerbedžija frim 97 The Saint/1998 Mighty Joe Young/Stigmata/Space Cowboys/EuroTrip/Batman Begins/2005 The Fog/Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1/X-Men: First Class/Taken 2, Tzi Ma from RoboCop 2/Rush Hour/Million Dollar Arm/The Cosby Show/Law & Order/JAG/American Dad!/The Beast/Star Wars Resistance, Robert Stanton, possible relation to Maxfield, fromA League of Their Own/Dennis the Menace/Mercury Rising/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Law & Order/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/The Good Wife/Blue Bloods/ the games manhunt and bully, Holmes Osborne from Donnie DarkoCheaper By the Dozen 1 from the 00s/Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, and some guys not on back door, candy a55, beta male, Sodom bottom, frooty booty, banana cramer, monkey junkie, gender offender, aids bag, cripple nipple, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants, Wikipedia which thinks guy wanting to be girls is normal but guys with an amputation fetish isn't.

its based on a book by Graham Greene that i never read abd was previously filmed in the 50s

After logos and credits we see Asian faces in a montage over fire and then caine talks about nam and its 52 I think and it smells there, but theres a war or something

after title and monologue we hear there was a quiet American and he's dead and we se the body and its brendon fraiser who he knew

a Frenchie sez he wa a lot of trouble yto em as the frenchies ruled the viet nam in the 50s and lead to them going commie

Caine tells a viet nam girl brendon eas wacked by stabbing like how gain go after Ameri cans and brits and Japanese

then a frashack to him meeting fraiser whos with the papers and talks how caine used to be in the field about the viet nam fighting the French for independence, but theviet nam are commies so both sides are bad

fraiser sees a iet nam woman and later talks with caine of reedom but caine sezif the nams vte they bring in the evil ho chi min

they hear a grenade and latercaine goes back to his hotel anftalks with an Asian about a message to get the paper stories and caine decides togo look for a story in some part of nam

in a bedroom caine b0nes his vet nam woman and then goes to dinner with him and bendon andbrendon speaks French

1 guy wants to go to the house of 500 girls like the house of 1000 corpses but both are used for b0ning

caine and gf go to a place full of chicks and brendon has em crawling on him as he tries to get away as he dont wanna b0ne some aids bag and is like a foot taller than em

caine and chick save him and he dances with her and she sez her name means phoenix and tests his Vietnamese but he knows not it

chick shows her suster who is said to be the monst beautiful woman in Saigon like ms Yvonne in pee wees playhouse and after she goes they talk of her helping brendon

later brendon sez she was a dancer in this place and came from a good fam but her dad bit it and she needed work

bendon thinks she was a step above the h00kers but caine sez not

later caine smokes drugs and tells his woman he's got a letter from soviet London to return to his power confined and theyd cut off his money

she wats to go back to soviet London with him and wants caines wife to divorce him but caine sez she wont

so he goes north on a boat to try to get a story to stay in the third world woth his gf and hears how cr-ppy it is up there

then on a boat up the rivers a55 came brendon whofollowed em and hry come across a village of bodies after the commies got em

but commies dot kill towns people there and somethings up

brendon wants to do something that'll help the people and is given a gun in case the commies get em as i guess they are like apache

as enemy shells fire brendon sez he wanted to protect the chick and has love at 1st sight and save her from becoming a h00ker andcaine sez his wife would never divorce and he can't marry her

when caine wakes up later he finds a note saying brendon left for aigon or w/e and won't leave til caine returns

caine goes from the battle field andtheres a swarm of viet nams in defence mode and he wants to write a story on te village that got iced

there's some kinda parade and a general is coming by

caine sees brendon who has a dog thats gonna eind uo bbqd and calls it duke

brendon sez how the chick can't marry caine and when with him cant marry a viet nam man and chick comes in

brendon offers to be her man and loves her even though shes been b0ning Michael caine and caine gets p-ssed

brendon is offered opium but he sez no to drugs and leaves

caine sends word to his wife he wants her to divorce him and hears that the story worked but the papers blamed the commies as the media is lies

a viet nam he works with offers to have him go where the Cambodian boarder where people hot iced and he goes there as his London times job to interview the general

he meets brendon whos there and thers soliers and big weapons around

caine interviews a guy working for the general and hears the general  broke off from French and commies and formed a third faction like in gundam seed

when ciane asks too much the general stands up and goes tyo hm and  yells and leaves after ciane asks if the general attacked that place he found the bodies

wait in think its not the general r hes another general and ciane sez for fraiser to watch out and the guy is working for general tei or w/e

as caine and freiser drive at night they run outta gas and think a b=gger siphoned it off, and he might mean sodomite

caine goes to a tower to ask for gas and eventually has gainin with guns at him and asks in French for him and brendon to stay the night but is told its not allowed

i think they get to stay and they talk about the chicks and what they do and i think its his wife he means

caine ez u start lusty and it gets worse and if he lost the chick it would be the start of his end

theres battle sounds at night and caine sez theres 30-40 towers to saigin and they hit 2 a ngiht but then they look down and see the viet kong

brendon gets his mummy on and jump 20 feet, which f'd his knee and made him get fat, an caine jumps and f'd his leg and they escape as the tower blows like THEY did in 20 01

after trippy dreams hes saved and gets back to Saigon and sees chick dancing and they lay in bed kissing on the mouh like animals or teens

caine got a letter from his wife and hides it as brendon comes in and sez the sister got hurt with americans

caine sez his wife agreed to divorce him and they celebrate his adul t ree and betrayal and it seems good

later the chicks and brendon confront him saying they read the letter and saw his woman didn't agree to leave him and he lied and wife sez he always had women and this one will be sad after he dumps her in soviet England

they leave and his woman tells him get f==ked i mean get lost and caines aisan homie gives him a leade on the generals thing where he exports and they go there

then 2 of the generals goons catch em and he sez hes a friend of the general and his Asian homie sez the brits drin too much and they escape b4 they get b0ned dead

he gets hoem and sees his womans clothes are gone and goes to the office and makes a non graphic scene about brendon and is using a cane as its the caine and Michael cane and goes to the bathroom to cry ad probably j=rk off and cut himself

in his place, brendon talks with chick and shows pictres aof places and she sez her friends bfs ditched em at airports but brendon sez that wont happen to em

brendon goes to see michel caine and ciane is b-chy and brendon wants to marry her at his home as mixed race marriage is accepted in 1950s America

caine asks about the chemical he saw exported and is told its for glasses and caine tells him to ditch the lace and bring chick with him and live

at a cafe in silence for a while, caine eats and senses something snf then the are blows and he looks around in slo mo for a while and eventually friaser comes

later caine stands looking out the window bleeding and hears 30 dead and maybe 20 more soon and caine talks of a woman and a baby she covered with her hat and other people who got it

caine puts it togetehf and find the Americans wer egiving the general with plastics that can be used to blow things and  works for the gov like ba rocks dad b=n l=d=n

his homie sez he can get him to see the general i think and has a signal of rading a book in the window if he agrees

caine writes a typewriter note to brendon and brendon plays pyle liek gomer and goober and this is around the same time as andy Griffith

brendon somes after getting the letter with his dog and they talk and find generals original target was a military thing

brendon reveals he suspected general was gonna try to ice caine and how America gave support to the French to stop the commies and they are gonna use the attack to make the commies look bad like after 20 01 with da gov and the French are too canya66 to stop the commies

caine tries to get brendon to not side with the general and use his love with the chick but he has a mission to do and caine seez the guys take their orders from brendon

he gets the book and stands by the window and s reads a poem and brendon sez we can disagree and be friends and invites him to dinner

freiser comes by with his dog and 4 viet nam guys come after himhe fights em off and runs but as h tries to escape, caines homie shanks him with a bowie knife

caine covered it by having an ameircan talk to him about his polio son and his homie escapes on a bike as hes a poof

later this inspector Frenchie checks with caine who went fo dinner with brendon and asked for a table for 1 not 2

caine sez Frenchie knows he didn't do brendon and there  war on, people bite it every day

at the nightclub or w/e cane asks chick to dance and she dont wanna but does anyay

he has her bf iced and tried to take her, what a sleeze

he wants to take her elsewhere and sez he's not leaving here and wait he wants her to come back to him an they hug

so he assassinates a good man and gets away with it thengets the gril? is this the bad ending like in breathe of fire?

the chick, who looks lie 16 but Asians dont age still misses him and caine sez sorry but covers it aying eh feels like he otta say it and she sez never to me

then he goes on saying u understand some of nam when you come here and live the rst

then brendon fraiser comes in and blows off caines arms with a shot gun sayin "i knew you'd have me wacked so i sent a body double" and puts the gun in caines mout and says "see you in h-ll mother f--ker!"and blows his head apart liek in species 2!

jk really he writes a typewriter thing and then we see newspaper headlines of how things devolved wih nam cuz of this

the end

is this the bad ending?

America has to clean up the frenchies mess as they are oo cadnya66 to handle things

maybe they can save Canada from the French infestation they've had for years?

if only we sided with zee kaiser, then the frnechies would be over

this came out after THEY did the t QVV ers and pentagram draGon so it has echoes of the time eriod

good acting and goodv reveal with brendon being an America hero fighting the reds and Michael chrichton or w/e tryig to stop him

looking back, commies have iced FAR more than Humans did

good acting and nice drama and the music and filming and effects are good

its a well made movie and its not often the bad guy wins

and its probably not connected to the Quiet Man by John Ford and John Wayne who did The Green Berets where Ameria went to clean up the mess the French left

For The Quiet American 2 I want it to be the 60s and l b j is starting his war on the viet kong. caine and his woman and their hybrid kids escape to live in the jungle but get caught by a pack of viem nam sasquatch yokai and 1 by 1 get picked of and eaten alive as they scream, and caine ditches them to save his saggy a55 regretting having stopped brendon as had he not, ths might not have happened. Also its a 16 bit top down game on sega genesis, snes, tg16, Atari jaguar and gba where you play as a sasquatch and ty to catch the family members and viet kong soldiers like the tg16 batman.