Last Stand At Saber River Review

 Note: I review i mean spell like a cowboy

Last Stand At Saber River

This is my reviw on Last Stand At Saber River from the distant furure year of 2017 i mea 1997(10 years before Transformers Season 4)

Its directed by Dick Lowry who did  Kenny Rogers The Gambler series

It stars Tom Selleck from The Rockford Files/Magnum, P.I./Friends/Boston Legal/Blue Bloods/Myra Breckinridge/Coma/Quigley Down Under/The Shadow Riders/The Sacketts/myra breckinridge, openly vegan Suzy Amis fron butt a55 Titanic, David Dukes, not Dude I mean Duke, from Gods and Monsters/Sliders/Law & Order, Haley Joel Osment from Forrest Gump/Bogus/The Sixth Sense/Pay It Forward/A.I. Artificial Intelligence/Walker, Texas Ranger/Chicago Hope/Touched by an Angel/Hey Arnold!/Buzz Lightyear of Star Command/Family Guy/American Dad!/Drunk History/The Eric Andre Show/Robot Chicken/Kingdom Hearts, Keith Carradine from Frasier/Spider-Man: The New Animated Series/Law & Order/The Big Bang Theory, David Carradine from from Kill Bill: Volume 1\Kill Bill: Volume 2\Kung Fu: The Legend Continues\Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman\Lizzie McGuire\Jackie Chan Adventures\King of the Hill\Danny Phantom/Young Billy Young/Celebrity Ghost Stories/Taggart/The Long Goodbye, Openly Texan Tracey Needham from Coach/JAG, Harry Carey Jr. from Red River/Blood on the Moon/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/The Searchers//The Rare Breed/Billy the Kid Versus Dracula/Big Jake/Cahill U.S. Marshal/The Shadow Riders/Gremlins/Mask/The Whales of August/Back to the Future, Part III/The Exorcist III/The Rifleman/taggart, Patrick Kilpatrick from Death Warrant/3 Ninjas Knuckle Up/Eraser/Matlock/The Toxic Avenger 001, Rex Linn from Thunderheart/Cliffhanger/Iron Will/Clear and Present Danger/Rush Hour/Blast from the Past/Ghosts of Mars/Cheaper by the Dozen/Unsolved Mysteries/Doogie Howser, M.D./JAG/Young Sheldon, Denis Forest from The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew/Dracula: The Series(Which I liked on Ytv in 199x)/Cliffhanger/The Mask/Eraser, Lumi Cavazos from Bless the Child, Raymond Cruz from Gremlins 2: The New Batch/Under Siege/Alien Resurrection/Training Day/Collateral Damage/The Eric Andre Show, and a few not on back door, candy a55, aids bag, Sodom bottom, gender offender, cripple nopple, banana crammer, soy boy, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear,hipie vegan stoner pea treekung fu based on plants wikiedia, who gets things wromg andpromotes sin.

I never sa this b4 but its ased on a book by L Ron Hubbard I Mean Elmore Leonard and was a made for TV movie on Turner

after logos we get credits to horses and riders in silhotte  over a cloudy sky

at nighr these mexicoes at a camp fire see heres a full moon and guys come up and 1 was a Confederate Hero who worked wth The Righr Honorable Nathan Bedford Forrest

Its Tom Selec who wa shot in the butt and then more cedits ad orange surise piccolo GT AF

then in this town tis chick has 2 kids whogo out b4 chores to say bye to someone andshe and some geezer modded a gun to be bette

tom rides and text sez in 1865 Texas fights for the confederacy m ten he gets to town and mom is stunned and stands there sh-tting herself for a few mins as he nears

they reunite like mermaid man and barnacle boy and its emotional loving music as they hug

that was a good movie

fr the sequel i want em to fight saaquatch

jk really he meets his kids who the young boy don now him and the bit older irl does but his baby died 3 years ago of influenza after 2 days

she wrote him letters but he didn't get em and later he got ri of his bead andvisits her grave

later his kids ask of the war and he volunteered for the Confederacy  and geezer sez General Forrest wanted him for being good with horses and mom thinks he ran away from em and Tom thinks the war is lost but son sez God's on theur side

geezer sez too much education is bad for a woman and seeing how university ruined women t feminism...

mom talx with tm about cr-p and he wants ti get working to gather cattle

mom sez she worked teaching school and didn't use the money they got selling cattle and waited for him to return

so the fam goes to Arizona and on the way, tom thinks of his dead ki and how she might be today

hen thers a stampede of moderate moving horses that tips the agon as the sky flashes wuth light from i think alens or lightening force

then cowboys come by saying lihtening spooked em and 1 sez they shouldn't be running horses at night in a storm

theres a blonde cowboy girl and his greasy gu tells off his men for runninghorses in da dark

greasy guyfinds tom is cable but not the x man and wrked for General Forrest andwanna ice him and say the union gets their land

tom sez Arizona wasn't a slave state and they say going against the union ost em and tom ulls a gun so they go

also tom sez how he didn't fight fr slave owners rhts, as the war was about the right to secede as lincon was mistreating the south like if Mussolini was evil

in daytime they get to a ranch an this lady is there i a guy called Edward like elric missing his left hand from maybe a left arm offering

ed missing an arm but no automail sides with tom and sez theres unionites in toms home and unionites are the only law there

this wagon is held up my mexicoes and he dumps the box of guns for em and leaves

tom goes to his ome and sees a yankee tryin to b0ne a chick woc wigth out consent outside on the dirt

tom kicks him away and pulls a shotgun and when they want him dead he blwos 2 out and tells a third not to come back and tell the others or w/e

tom talks to his woman and turns out she shot 1 and so did he and she's bumed over taking out yabkee filth but he was surpluss to requeirements starscream

they talk of how they met and married and she beat out a guy trying stuff with her and sed if he tries something she;d shoot him, but now she capped a guy and talks different than act

like me joking of cannibalism or inbreeding

she thinks she dont now him anymore and he sez an army of confederatrs are coming home and he dont wanna live with a woman wh dont like him and would tae her back to manly Texas

i wonder is elmore elonard is related to Anatole leonard from Robotech

later in the day the survuivor sez what he recalls of the night as he was drunk to the greasy guy and sez he wasn't ice cuz he wasn't packing heat

so these guys were raepeing a chick and drn and when they tried to kill a man, he and his fam ended em? is this Rittenhouse 0? or the Subway Hero?

as it rains outside, inside son played by the 6th sense kid, read sht eBibl and its Genesis with Enoc and such and sister thinks no one lives 850 years(dienar!!)

blonde cowboy chick hermaphrodude talks with greasy guy and its like big bang rhwory with a blodne and the same actor in charge

later a gy comes by and wants tom to run guns and he nows the war is lost and dont wanna get involved

cabe is called toget a fallen horse and its a trap and the brothers of the guys his woman capped wanna end tom for defending himself like wth Rittenhouse but not his wife as women dont gotta pay for their criems

Tom gets beat but grabs a guy, uses hi as a shield and uses the guys gun to end the othe guy, then beats out the grabbed guy

he shoots off the guys arms and leg and says "let it be a lesson to the rest of em!" then spits on him

jk really his kids ask if hes gonna ice the grabbed guy but tom sez for wife to leave til its safe

this guy i think its been Edward not elric wants tom to fight more yankees and waske em but tom dont wanna murder and thinks Forrest was a butcher as there were stories of him executing captives but really itwas the yankees doing that

tom leaves the family at the ed 1 arms place to be safe and goes back

greasy guymeets a beardo who wanted him to end cable tom and greasy guy sez da war wont last forever, also they haven't seen the guys sent for cable in a while

tom has the grabbed guy tied up in his place and cutz hi free and sez he dont wanna end him and wants peace

cowboy girl blonde talks with to and i think wants to b0ne him but he dont cuz hes married

1 arm ed talks with mom about general forrest being accused of executing 30 prisoners but theres doubts about that today, and 1 arm wants tom to return to service but mo thinks hes not a murderer

blonde talks of her mom biting it and the greasy guy left the union but plays like hes still in it

toms dad ran mustangs like tom and tom wants his son to be a brain not a hand worker

blonde smooches tom and want to seduce hi and he kinda goes with it ut stops and sez its not right and walks off

the next day he sends blonde off and this dark haired chick brings word the war ended but 1 arm ed dont believe it

tom rides in a groove in the rock and meets a Mexico who he sez he needs to use gras for his cattle but Mexico dont take him srs

greasy guy is gonna j fk him like THEY did to harambe and eps teen but dont

1 arm gors in a house and busts the place with his 1 arm and later goes to beardo about the war ending and howhe lost an arm fighting with Kirby smith and dont wanna quit

he has 2 dozen cases of i think guns, yeah its guns, and ulls out a big black gun and capps him saying people will thinkcable did it for f--kin his house and caps him for Sherman and lincons crimes

greasy guy thinks to iced him but grabbed guy thinks no cuz he only iced guys in fair fights, but greasy guy dont buy it

dark haired chick figgers out 1 armed eddy iced the guy as tom never found out the war ended but he ignores her and 

greasy guy and his droogs come by to arrest hi m for icing beardo but he sez he didn't and a gunfight breaks out with himcapping a few gys, loosing the horses, riding out, horse is falled and he takes out more

toms on the run and takes cover behind a rick anda guy fires on him as abother also fires

he runs low om ammo and fires off then runs to get his rifle on the horse but a guy is gonna cap him until wife gets him in da back

greasy guy has tom at gunpoint and sez he coulvde iced him b4 but didn't

after finding out the war is over and tom didn't know but eddy was to tell him, they see how they both got played andhead back to the town

they find edd took the daughter and ice the dark haired chick so like optimus rime and megatron teaming up to fight unicron in Armada, they go off to save the chick

tom rides on like a chase level and these Mexicans are gonna sniper him but i thin greasy guy takes em out

its a cart by 4 horses vs 1 tom on 1, so its a car vs a mototcycle

greasy guy harambe's grwsy guy and he falls off and is run over by  the wagon, but hes gonna be ok, he just needs some rest, there a hosptiatl planet nearby

tom saves his id and the horses detath from the wagon as it flies off the cliff cuz horses cant die in modern cr-p, only people

grwasy guy takes the girl and rises off antdom stays behind and these guys with guns come after himand he gets capped in the torso

the mexicoes wanna ice him and take the rifles and2 mecixoes horseride at him but he rils em

ore meixcoes come for him and he cap em too andthe mexicoes say they'll tak the riles and let him live

later girl dont wanna leave and tim comes by and sez hes gonna be ok andbrings her him at night

son thanks greasy guy for helping his dad and he riedes off and wife treats his bullet hole saying now they can live in peace, also she knew him he whole life and didn't expect him to change

she asks of fort pillow and he claims they executed unarmed men(yankee propaganda) and he didn't join in but couldn't stop it

mom sez the baby bit it and she couldn't stop it and blamed herself and him and the baby would still bite it w/ or wo him

he dont know why he went to war but regeted leaving em and they make out and go inside, probably to b0ne

the end

that was pretty cool

nice action and good heart

good acting and filming

nice way of showing the confederates weren't evil like modern day revisionists try

tells a good story

i liked it

my mom likes elmore leonard books and this one was a good movie

For Last Stand At Saber River 2 I want the confederates to regroup and get aid from Japan and have samurai and ninja and yokai to attack the union to free the south, so tom teams up with a ninja, samurai and tengu and fight on missions to take out bases of unionites and lincons mutant son with Sherman and grant who plan to bring ack linco with blacv magic. In the end they beat the un ion but lincon comes back as a daemon and the heroes otta team up and beat it. Also its an up to 4 player beat em up on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atr jaguar and ba where you play as the heroes and fight american cryptids and soldiers and the bosses are in steam punk mechs with black magic runes that are used to use powers.