The Snowman Review

 Note: I spell like a snoeman

The Snowman

This is my review on The Snowman from the distant future year to uster Keatpn of 199 27, or 2017 my 21st century numbers(the years of the malcontent uprisings in Robotech)

is directal by Tomas Alfredson who did the 2010s Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Is stars Michael Fassbender from 300/Jane Eyre/X-Men: First Class/Prometheus/12 Years a Slave/X-Men: Days of Future Past/Assassin's Creed, Rebecca Ferguson from the 2014 Hercules with the rock (which was kinda cr-ppy)/the Dune remake, Charlotte Gainsbourg fr9om Independence Day: Resurgence, Val Kilmer fronm Top Gun/Willow/Thunderheart/Tombstone/Batman Forever/the 1996 The Island of Dr. Moreau/The Ghost and the Darkness/Red Planet/Alexander/The Thaw, J. K. Simmons from Anastasia/The Gift/The Mexican/Spider-Man 1 2 and 3/Terminator Genisys/La La Land/Justice League/Law & Order/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Justice League Unlimited/The West Wing/The Simpsons/American Dad/Robot Chicken/Ultimate Spider-Man/Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H., Toby Jones from Ever After/Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets/Finding Neverland/W./Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1/Captain America: The First Avenger/The Adventures of Tintin:The Secret of the Unicorn/The Hunger Games/Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Adrian Dunbar from the 90s Richard III/Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, David Dencik from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo/War Horse/the 2011 Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Ronan Vibert from Dracula Untold, Chloe Sevigny from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, James D'Arcy from Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World/Exorcist: The Beginning/Hitchcock/Jupiter Ascending/Dunkirk/Oppenheimer, Genevieve O'Reilly from The Matrix Reloaded/The Matrix Revolutions/Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith/The Legend of Tarzan/Rogue One: A Star Wars Story/Law & Order: UK/Star Wars Rebels, James Clayton from Designated Survivor, and a bunch of euro trash i never saw in anything.

Its seen as cr-ppy but there were production issues and 15% of the film wasn't made

And unlike with Tommy Wiseau they didn't have infinite monies to keep going

I never saw this but wanna give it a chance

UPDATE!!!

Imma review the 80s movie The Snowman cuz my left wing friend and fat bimbo gf want me to

Its from 1982 or 20 years before Astroboy and directed by Dianne Jackson wh did When The Wind Blows

Its got no actors and is based on a book by Raymond Briggs I never read

after title and credits to soft pisno snmd going through a countryside with good rotating cameras, this boy wakes up eventually and is happy for snow

i love snow and wuinter as the bugs and birds and plants go to h e double Mexico for another year

he gets dressed, greets his parents and puts n socks/boots but mom puts on a hat he drops

he sees the blank canvas of snow and walks leaving footprings and swings from a dree and makes a snowball w/ bare hands(bada55)

he throws it but it hits a window and i think mom gets mad and he walks off and makes a snowmound woth bare hands cuz hes tough like Charlie brown

after food he makes it inti a snowman and mom gives him a hat/coat to make and he uses an apple/coal for eyes/buttons and draws a smile

he goes i after uging it andlooks at it and theres a Christmas treeand tv in there

he goes to bed and rushes his tee but looks at his snowman out the window and gets in jammies and goes to bed

wat a nice day

For the snow man 2 I want a race war between men and snow men

jk its still going and was only 5 mins

at night he wakes up and is cold and looks at it but goes to bed, then ges on a coat and looks at it

at midnight,   it comes to lfe andhe lets it in and it shakes his hand andit scares the cat but he falls back and bumps the tree as the cat spazzes out

kid turns on the tree andthey loomk ant the ornaments and see reflextons and laugh at ther faces

kid shos hi tv and he's interested but he's sick from the coal fireplace and they go to thekitechen and snowman lays with the light

kid turns on sink an its hot water and snowman squeezes soap bottle and likes its bubbles

they see a cake witha snowman like him(incspuion) ad he trues different noses of fruit

after feeling the freezer i thinkkid shows snowman hia rents (does that make them his grandparents) andhe looks at their things like dentures(cuz they brittish and have ad teet) and snowman scares himself with the mirror

snowman tries on ents make up and clothesand glasses ans ppe and perfumebut is gona sneeze sokid undreses him and brings him out which takes a bit

he sees a misc bx with a dancer that cant fit in the lid and dances in the kids room and f's with his toys and stubmpes around

snowman sees smthing out the window under a blanket and they go out tofind a mortorccle

they get out their deck and duel on it

jk really he rides it and the light is on and its a nice yelloy you dont see anyore

aer a 1st person thing of going through the snow, wego through a woods abd thers animals and a horse?!whats going on?!

snowman has rickets after the ride and they go to some building and he goes in  a box like a freezer that has a glden light thats wonderful and find a piture of blue skys and white snow

snoeman runs with kid and they fly in the air over the countryside and a wonderful song plays of walking in the air

this just went dbgt

othwr snowmenfly wth em ad they go over the seas and they see a boat with a party

how fast are they goin?

u think they are n the north pole or something and wait n therw a little gir who sees him fly by and holds a santa picture

they go on and past the sea and ice and go by a massive whale tail

the snowman va amson and sally!

then thers penguins which are the south pole an d they see the northern lights of neon and land by a woods

they come to a gathering of snowmen and Santa is there and thetparty like its the 20th century or 19th and dance and snowmen ea(do they have digestive tracts?)

theres also a cowbow snowman wit a gun i assume fom America and a scttsman snowma in a kilt snow scottsman

after dancing with snowmen, Santa gets the kid in the reindeer stalls and gives hi a present, a scarf(you dont ant clthes for Xmas)  and re snowemanflys back with the kid to his home wth great animation

kid wav bye to nowman then they hu and he goes in and anowma returns to his 1st position and kid goes to bed

later kid wakes up and gets on a robe and comes dow but sees his snowman meltedor something and is a pile, but is footprints are there from last night and he has the scarf rom Santa

then credits tp a piano tune of te walkin in the air

the end

that was wonderful

i only saw this oce before and it was quite good

wholesome and pure and innocent

wonderful animation and drawn like a chilsrens book

i assume the snowman used up all his ki and fell apart after his night aventure

I'mglad to see it and its got a bit of a lower but meaningful ending like when the wind blows but nt as dark

its magical and clean and has heart

For The Snowman 2 I want it to be years later and the kid it a teen and the snowman retyurns and says he faked biting it as he had to go on a mission and needed a cover Now he needs the kids help as Krampus was captured and Santa needs his help as the commies who captured him are in a place wuth hot and cold roms and they need the kid to go in the hot ones as the snow man cant handle it and open the gates in the cold rooms. Also its a 16 bit game on Sega Genesis Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar, TG6 and GBA where you switch between the Snowman and kid now teen and solve puzzles. in some level you link together and fight bosses and ater feeing Kampus from anti magic chains, he fight a commie mech asped like stalin and mao fused.