They Review

 Note: i spelll likre THEM

They

This is Orte Samma No Review on They from the distant fuiture year to clark gabel of 2002 (20 years before Robotech II The Sentinels)

Is a hortror film that cr-poped out at the box oriface and people hated

then again, THEY hated Transformers The Movie

Its directally by Robert Harmonwho did nothing i ever saw but aparently has a thing fgor jesse stone, whoerever the butt f--k that is

it starannaly starees Laura Regan from law and order svu/judging amny/Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Jessica Amlee from the 2000s tweilight zone, Marc Blucas from pleseantville/house on haunted hilkl/the alamo/Buffy the Vampire Slayer\Law & Order: LA\Blue Bloods, Ethan Embry from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle\Batman Beyond\The Zeta Project\ the 00s twilight zone\Drop Dead Diva\the 20s twilight zone, openly polish Dagmara Domińczyk from the 00s The Count of Monte Cristo\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit\The Good Wife,  Abrahams from The Faculty\Scary Movie\Meet the Parents\House of Wax\Law & Order\Boston Public\Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Alexander Gould from City of Angels\Finding Nemo\Bailey Kipper's P.O.V.\Malcolm in the Middle/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (where he got f'din the a55) Jay Brazeau from the 90s Little Women\Slam Dunk Ernest\MVP: Most Valuable Primate\House of the Dead\Watchmen\Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog\Madeline\Party of Five\Mega Man\The Odyssey\Sliders\The New Adventures of Madeline\Extreme Dinosaurs\The Adventures of Shirley Holmes\Pocket Dragon Adventures\Generation O!\The Cramp Twins\the 00s He-Man and the Masters of the Universe\The West Wing\My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, Jodelle Ferland from Silent Hill\The Cabin in the Woods\ParaNorman\the 00s tv movie Carrie\The Haunting Hour: The Series\Home Alone: The Holiday Heist, Mark Hildreth from The Odyssey\The Bots Master\The Odyssey\Fatal Fury: Legend of the Hungry Wolf\Street Fighter: The Animated Series\Fatal Fury 2: The New Battle\Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture\Dragon Ball Z\Vor-Tech: Undercover Conversion Squad\Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The TV Show\Action Man\Mobile Suit Gundam Wing\Madeline\The Cramp Twins\Class of the Titans\Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End\Wolverine and the X-Men\Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.\\Transformers: Robots in Disguise, Jonathan Cherry from Final Destination 2\House of the Dead, and some dinks not on beta male soy boy back door candy a55 blue pill wikipedia

i never saw this but its by horror master Wes Craven who produced it or w.e and his nanme is often on it

my homie wanted me to review this and imma do it for him cuz hes a good guy

so after logis i mean logos this lutlle girl the non craven producers probably lusted after is scared ofthunder and om comforts her

wait is that a boy? wtf

mom sez no ones coming for him/her/it and sez the covers on your head prorect you

is that like duck and cover for a nuke? or a mask for the cold?

so mom goes and kids afraid of night things as it storms outside and mom didn tell him its Angels going DBZ and laterhe/its uop and calls to mom ad seez something on the window and in the blackness of the closet and hides under da covers with a flashlight

the light goes out and eveltyally ge leaves the covers ad is dragged undr the bed to be b0ned dead by demons or w/e

then title

as a 90s kid i was scared in my room once and called to mom and no one came but i got over it

later its sunny and a blonde comes home by bike and chex her answering machine then has an offscreen shower we'd see if this was the 80s and goes on a date with a guy and gives her backstory to a brown haired brown eyed white guy like in a ideo game

he sez he had a mom and is a bit moody and plays pool and guy bets her 20$ if she sinks it but she f'd out and sez doule or nothingand does

they go to an apartment to probably b0ne but stoners are in his place and didn't pay the electric bill cuz they got frired, probably for being igh ay work and eating co workers

bf and blonde go to make out for a while and start undressing with her t-ts in her low cut dress on him but she gets a phone call anda guy named billy needs her but she sez maybe tomotrow but then goes to him leaving bf to j-=rk off on the stoners

she tae a subway andlooks like the chick from the Torn vdeo meets the Siwnt Hill Chick andthe light fLIcker and goes to meet bac door billy in a dner and he looks evolved i mean Deveolved and seems on drugs

he sezhe had night terrers and now THEY are back and THEY affect thins and cant be in the light but soeoneelse saw em and went nuts and ohers know of em but no one can elp him

hes spazzing out and s sared andhe lights  go out and he eats his gun offscreen, bit in the 80s wed see his head blow aparft likw in species II

alaso fearing the dark was like Jakoh in Hokuto No Ken 2

blonde goes back to home and cleans the blood/brains off in an offscreen shower wed see in the 80s andbf comforts her and shes in the room the mabe boy was in

bf i listening to music but in the 80s s j-rkin off  and da pone wakes up blode but its not ayone so she calls to her bf andhe's gone

she hears baby cries hich makes womens b-0bs bigger andfids the shower runningad black ooze, probably spurm barfs out of the sink drain

the lghts go f'd and in the mirror door is a dark realm of thingsad the black goon er hand bends weird

bf comes in and she freak outvlike a blue sy nu seeng something they/them/iot disagrees with and she was told shes sleepwalking

at the service shesees a baby which was probaby pooped out recently and sez se was babk door  billys buddy

a guy named sam and his room mate terry werebeblly banana buddys and she sez ahe didn't understand hi and sa sez the Prozac didn't help him

wtf we're 24 mins in? that felylike nothing!

she chex mix his room and finds newspaper clips and batteries and terry sez he med here III months ago planning for a long thing and was afraid and sez billy told her o how they all had night terr wers and thats qaht got em toghyehet

i think thats daemons dude, pray it away rebukke it

at night she drivex and the song kis on her radioand power in her car f;d ot, which aliens and sasquatch and ghosts nd daemons do, and she runs over a wolf thing nd stops as her car f'd put

she gets oyt with a flash light and its foffy and kinda ligh and cex da under the hoodand reconnecs cr-op and hears a sound like the symbypote in 90s spdrman

the flasherlghr gows f'd andse get in and the car dont start andshe seez her dead illy nxt to her and fsall outta da car as a trck gws by

the car works and s4e goes back to he bf wit his stoners place and hes dribk and will probaby get iced

se sez se h an accident andthought ahe hot something and hot braes and went offroad bt dont know what it was and when bf okes she gets b--chy and whines of himgetting drunk

bf sez afreter a 13 car pilw  up he spent hours cutting corpses oytta cars andthis is how he unwinds

with sam and terry they read billys notes and of demon that attack in the dark as its their way in and she hd nigh terrers and terry sez its like shes 5 aGAIN in dark rooms(age regression fetish!~)

at 5 she saw her sister die in a lake nd had night terrers and when her mom came she was gone but she was in the doghouse and when he reached in she stabbed him in the eye thinking hes a daemon

so blonde goes to see a shirnk about night terrers and sez what happened over the1st, 38 mins?! This movie is whizzone by!

shrik sz she saw him after her dad iced himself and her recent cr-p is from recent trauma and night terrers are part of growing up (wyf?! its not like worms!!)

he offers more talks and se goes to this silent hill looing basement to get dr-p abd a possible gaijin bumps into her

she paints wait i think its sam paining sme black thing and terry asks wat did billy think b4 he did it and what its like to be that low

she icks at a wound that isn't healing and they seem kinda goth/emo and sam sez he should've gone to law school, bu ten he'd get a purvo off and the victims would have him skinned alive and roasted on a fire, wait, thats apache

so sam goes ot to =rl off on dogs or w.e anf terry is aloe and things seem unusual ad she hears a clank and goes in the ventus to getta mouse like splinter in nina turtles

her light goes out and what kinda lace has vents big enuff to crawl in? and this thing jumps at her as the lighter turns on and itsquite a unmpscare, ut she sends it off

blonde watches a vhs tape and i think this is how the ring happened anshe watchws vdeo of herselfas a kid spazzing out aains nothing

she lifts up the romte and swallows it whole as it bulges down her throat and she seizures out

jk rally she gets a phone call from kim and sez to all her later to be sure shes awake and looks at a book of iconopgraphy an sees at of daemons after peoplefrom over history

are thee yokai? call Enma Kun. or better yet, Enpi Chan!

after reading a while sge goes to slee and terry goes to a locke to put her cross and sweater in an takes a shower in a black onw pice but not ussop an goes to the pool

after a speedo guy leaves da pool in a black speedo, possibly leather, she swims and the lights go out and she swims in fear

then the water forms a kappa and it reaches up her a5 and pulls out her soul

k thats suiko by Go Nagai, really sge gets out andbangs on the doorbut no ones there andthis looks like swimfan but she tries another door and gets in and i think its the guys room

a bunha guts in towles see ger and start b0ning her all over

jk thats nami sos and se gets attacked by some cg yokai

b;once wakes up and reads a definition of this alleged condition fordiscordance and how you need familiar cr-p 2 get through it but leaves he meetn with the possible school guy 

;ater shes in th tub and bf calls and aez sry for laughing or w.e even though she was kinda b--chy and she gets another call and gets it anfanswers wearing a towel and i thik the guy sz i love u

she goes to this dingy slummy rusty apartment i think sams andtake the elevator and its like a cr-ppy 00s game

she seez his black wall and sam sez shes the only one who'd undertand and feels bads gonna happen and terrys missing and her cr-p is in the rec ce ter

he told thew cops ut theywont find it and he checked billys diary and found ony thoe w/ night tetters are targeted and marks people with some implantation like aliens/space daemons

tis sems like alone o the drk by uwe boll

in some room blonde named Julia like elaines actrer in Seinfeld talks to a little girl and sez shes a patient and lile girl sez THEY come for me in my dreams and ligh keeps em away an she has a mark on her arm

she tells hrik the night terrers might be real and THEY are coming to bring em back to the nightmare world

this seems like Yugioh GX Season 4

srink gets her to overanalyze her feelings aboy being guit from her frends suicide and like many shrinks, gets people to think 'theres amlgical reas/n sernatural" and "won't you have a mark too?"

she is in undies and bf checks 4 mark but none are found as she didn't get naked and check the nips or anus

tom or sam or w/e s panting and lights blow and sprinlers out the candles and this cg monster is outide and coming for him

he braks the window and goes in the elevator instead of out it and it goes up/down fast

he gets ou anf something drahs im under rhe elevator and we cr to bf and blone in bed after bning and  meathead stoners come in and see her nude and say HELLO NURSE like Anmaniacs

is think a ting on communism with THEM being the soviets taking people who know away?

at her place shears on tv of rolling blackouts as green energy is cr-p and th grid can't take all this bad management

she goes in a closet anf the bulb dont work andbehind the coats is a gf yokai that umps and she runs outsideand is feaing thngs like people dumping gabage in dumsters full of spurm

she goes in a bathroom andsees a mark on her head unde da hair nd oulls out this thorn and is this like Damien thorne in the omen with the numbers on his head?

she goes to bf she b0ned and sez she has the mark, oh hai mark, and THEY tied t gab her, but he gives her druged watr and i think he's the bad guy and ants her to sleep

she dont wanna sleep but dont pue up hedrugs and he ez he wont let anything happen to her and  think drugging her is illegal, but in califrnia its not a crime to spread the aids

she goes out and to a subwayand is kinda spazzy and reaches in her throat to pike up drugs like a teen wgo thinks shes fat

the shudders chains fence thing comes own andshe cant leave the station anf she takes the empry tain but the lights f around and the tain stops

she gets out the taim and some cg thing grabs her but the powr come back and train restatrts ad she rns after ot but it goes but another comes and she runs for it like the kid in pet semetary

it misses her and one of THEMgrabs her into a pipe bt she uses a syurdy metal bar to keep in and aftert the traingoes by the light is ther and she gets to a sewer grate and cant open it

THEY get her  and swarm her and drag her byt some wotkers find her and she knifes one or more and then we see her in the nut house and bf and shrink sez it'll be ok

her neck looks too long

a yokai busts in th window and when shrink and openly black guy come in  shes gone but shes really o the othe rside of an invinible wall callin for help andin the dark realm

the door closes and the thngs get her and probably d0ne her i mean b0n her pregnant and use her for breeding more o them

then creits to intense misc then calm music

landman setup ed macmahon?

seconf assistant edeito; richarc long(tee hee)

the end

that wa pretty good

nice creep factor and good build up/reease like X Men 1

it goes by at a good pace and has nie flow w/o drag

its got good feels and is only pg13 but dont need nups and butts and d-0ngs and heads blowing apart

i don't even recall uch searing

its a good 00s movie that islike a hader byond beief fact or fiction

For They 2 I want her bf to be on the hunt for her and looking into her notes and finding these ancient items hidden in American ancient places of kingdoms and temples that were wiped out in bblial catatrophies can be usited to stop the daemons and free the imprisoned. Also its a 128 bit Zelda like game on GameCyube, Dreamcast, ps2 and xbox where you go through ancient ruins of melted rock in remote places and underground cities and get items and armor to open the gate and let her free by going in the dark world and save the people.