The Dogs Of War Review

 Note: I spell like a dog eater/b0ner

The Dogs Of War

This is my review on The Dogs Of War from the dustant fiture year to the Italian Spallian Christopher Columbus, of1980 (40 years before Transformers Super Godf Masterforce)

Its directed by John Irvin who did nothing i saw but was based on a book written by Frederick Forsyth I nrevr read

It stars Christopher Walken from The Deer Hunter/Heaven's Gate/The Dead Zone/Batman Returns/Wayne's World 2/Pulp Fiction/Mouse Hunt/Antz/Blast from the Past/Sleepy Hollow/Joe Dirt/Man on Fire/Hairspray/Saturday Night Live, Tom Berenger from The Big Chill/Platoon/Training Day/Law & Order/Hatfields & McCoys, Colin Blakely from Equus, Paul Freeman from Raiders of the Lost Ark/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, JoBeth Williams from Kramer vs. Kramer/Poltergeist/The Big Chill/Poltergeist II: The Other Side/Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot/Frasier/Batman: The Animated Series/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Judging Amy/Numb3rs/Law & Order: LA/The Good Doctor, Winston Ntshona from The Wild Geese/Gandhi, Pedro Armendariz Jr.from The Mask of Zorro/The MexicanThe Legend of Zorro/Acapulco H.E.A.T., fake alpha male Ed O'Neill from Wayne's World/Wayne's World 2/The Bone Collector/Wreck-It Ralph/Married... with Children/The West Wing/WordGirl/candy a55 Modern Family, Shane Rimmer from Dr. Strangelove/The Dirty Dozen/70s Rollerball/Star Wars episode 4/Superman/Superman II/Gandhi/The Hunger/Batman Begins, George Harris from Flash Gordon/Raiders of the Lost Ark/See No Evil, Hear No Evil/Black Hawk Down/Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix/Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1/Part 2, David Schofield from 90s The Last of the Mohicans/Gladiator/From H=ll/Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest/Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End/2010s The Wolfman, Olu Jacobs from Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, Hugh Quarshie from Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend/Highlander/Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace/Red Dwarf, Jim Broadbent from Superman IV: The Quest for Peace/1995 Richard III/The Borrowers/Smilla's Sense of Snow/1998 The Avengers/Bridget Jones's Diary/Moulin Rouge!/Gangs of New York/Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason/Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull/Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince/Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2/Paddington/The Legend of Tarzan/Bridget Jones's Baby/Blackadder's Christmas Carol and some dinks not on back door, candy a55, aids bag, banana crammer, gender offender, frooty booty, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants, soy boy, sodom bottom, cripple nipple wikiepeda, or i never saw em in anyhing

after logos we get title andright to da action withguys in  slum countrydroving a jeep andgetting on a place

1 guy is dead maybe and ta guy puts a grenade in his hand bt i think he's just spazzed out

plane takes off as the area blows and later Christopher Walken gets to new York or some place and this penly black kid sells him stuff

a guy comes to his door anf he gets a gun but lets him in and ants him to aid his employer in Africa to ind out about a dicator or w.e for them

he gets 15 million and is gonna be going undercover and the guy who hires him wants him to pose as a tourist

on da plane he reads a book on birs cuz da burd is da word and in there he sez he works for a nature mag and takes pictures of birds and has wine and smokes and penthouse and the africanized guy takes from him as airport tax cuz this crppy slum country is corrupt

in town a priest gives him a ride and goes through a cr-place andto a hotel where he wants a room with a shower but they get his passport and claim its returned to em when he leaves

in his hotel he pptographs out da window andsees thearmy come in a jeep w/ sirens and people scatter

a jeep takes him to the jungle and this openly africanized guy makes bird sounds and acts like hes devolved and lades him through the jungle but loses him and mutters in africaese then goes back to the jeep snd drives on the wrong side of the car

walkien returns like batman tells him in alkens jungle that guy is another a 5 5 h o le and they go back tothe hotel with brit spazzing out over not being allowed to leave the hotel to film

walken mets him and the aremy guys want him to help him come up weith a scientific name for local birds and he devolvedly maybe angrily lists some and army guy sez public drnkeness is a crime there and leaves

At night walken talx w/ brit who sez soldiers iced a kid and they filmed it but the army took out da film

after the slumnation won independence there were III guys running and 1 wanted links to the main country and kimba took over  and exiled 1 and improsioned the other

no one noes(or cars) whats going on in this squalid h-ll hole and he's not a danger to nearby lands

brit thinks walken is an agent and not a bird watcher and later walken goes to kimbas official residence that was the colonists b4 but kimba dont live there now as he had a drwam and not like dat 60s commie, and lives in the garrisobn w/his men

this openly black woman sows walken da church and sez kimba is khristian andshe does this work cuz she has to and this ain't ameria

walken takes her picture for a scrap book and she was wat hes up to but wwlken sez birds r smart and migrate

at night he chocolats up his face a bit andwears blicketee black like a nija tonak around bt a guard gts him so he wacks him

when walken akes this swarm of africanized guys are around him and start beating him with sticks, then send him to ail to be beat more

but walken is a minority immigrantas most of the country is non White, tis is a hate cri9me!

he's interrogated and spazzed out but wakes with a needle and they ask why he took a phoo of the garrison with the openly black woman

a black dr comes in to treat him and ez he's being deported and that a Brit i is waiting for him, but da dr is the presient candiate wo was locked up like what THEY tried to do to Trump, and the openly black chick is one of kimbas women

he offers walken pain killers and they bring him out in a mask/chainanddrive hi off

i can see self hating Whites loving this as the White Man is oppressed by non Whites

at da airport he's slupped da flm and the bird noise guy sez u cant leave w/o ur pass port a 5 5 h o l e and laughs like an a 5 5 h 0 l e and is shipped off

In the 1st world he's all f'd up and has a lot of wounds and infections but toughs it out as hes American bada55

he meets the guy who offered him da job and sez theres no resistance and kinmbas crazy.

employer wants him to go back and send a ercenary force to kill krazy kimba but walken dont wanna so he offers 100 000 $

he meets his gf who he wnts to have a life with in a 1st world state and not soviet California with the aids bags leaking blood oop and spurn oyt their butts

after maybe b0ning her he comes home andhis tv is still on and gets hi pirate crew together with1 not wanting to see his wife get fat from prenacy cuz i guess he's one of those guys not into female expansion, and i think he's gonna get it as he's got a future

the guys gotta capture kandya55 kimba and hand hi over to the new gov andthey plan things and get weapons but theres issues they gotta F through

walken meets brit who sez kimba iced more people andsent him out and his report on the kimba didn't get much views so he wants to do something but walken sez not to try tocontact him even though i think its britmo wo gave wlke his film back

1 guy offers him good guns usefil up to 1200 feet snd walken aks if the guy as in combat but he avoids the question

walken goes to meet the new prez they'll put in and britmo gets run over by a guy driving then crashing the carr and one of walkens guys sez "taxi! diss maan neez a doc taaaa!!" like a newyorker

so the new prez fought in the independence war and wants to be rich and encourages walken to be his friend and if one of his mrn dont fight he'd nail his hair to the gates

walken sez he has enuff friends and goes and guy who employes him  sez walkens expendable

a guy ringing in the guns in pil drums is stopped by cops to check but  they let him through so he dont gotta cap hi

walken interrogates a guy with broken glass in his mouth and smacking him around and he revals he works for walkens eployer and took out the britmo at his own choice

new prez is coming onto women including a White andguy who hired walken gets a guy on da phone and sez da guys dont know whats at atatke and cant spell platinum and the guy with broken glass in a mouth who ied britmo is dead in a chair

on a boat da guys tet weapons on the sea and African warriors test macine guns on da water too like a training level in a video game like Robotech Bsttlecry

so at night they get there, take out geards and snea in like matal gear but i never played that so TMNT on GBA

they get t the bae and attack withpowered weapons but not power armr and to quote turning mecard, all h=ll breaks loose!

1 guy finds the africanized woman and she wastes him cuz he didn't take her out when he had the chance

walken faces kimba who whines so walken sends hm back to h e double Africa then shoots up his bedroom and finds the openly black wman whos not the oe who capped tat guy and got her picture taken

in the daylight a new prez comes in and finds the dr who was in jjail is the new prez and walen caps the man who would be prez and leaves

the end

hay, normal jewison produced this, nice.

but this was a pretty good movie

it starts high, and has a good start for a while, but kinda sinks in the middle, but ends with a bang

didn't expect that ending and walken goes bada55 in here

good filming and style and walken is weird as usual

good music and the film dont feel long with low drag and good flow

it holds interest and has good pacing and feel

Not too much happens but it holds your atention like Alien 1

For The Dogs Of War 2 I want the nation to be rebulding but malcontents backed by the company who wanted to take over are trying to overthrow the new prez, so he calls forth dino riders on dinosaurs in the jungle to fight em off as THEY don't want  anyone to know Evoution is fake and Dinosaurs are still around. Also its a 128 bit game where you play as a dino rider and take on  enemy troops like Golden Axe Beast Rider but good and on Dreamcast,GameCube, ps2 and xbpx.