Saturday, May 24, 2025

Along Came Polly Review

Not: I spell like a crack addick on cracker

Along Came Polly

This is my review on Along Came Polly from the distant future year to efferson Daz of 2004(1 year befor etransformers the movie)

its directed by John Hamburg who did nothing i saw

it stars back door Ben Stiller from Happy Gilmore/The Cable Guy/Mystery Men/Meet the Parents/Zoolander/Starsky & Hutch/Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story/Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy/Meet the Fockers/Penguins of Madagascar/Zoolander 2/Frasier/Duckman/2 Stupid Dogs/Sesame StreetThe Simpsons/The King of Queens/Liberty's Kids/King of the Hill/Family Guy, Jennifer Aniston from Mac and Me/Leprechaun 1/The Iron Giant/Rock Star/Bruce Almighty/Quantum Leap/Friends/South Park/King of the Hill/30 Rock, Philip Seymour Hoffman from Boogie Nights/The Big Lebowski/Patch AdamsThe Talented Mr. Ripley/Punch-Drunk Love/Red Dragon/Cold Mountain/Mary and Max/The Ides of March/Law & Order/Arthur, openly evil Debra Messing from The Mothman Prophecies/Garfield/Open Season/Seinfeld/Will & Grace/King of the Hill/Sesame StreetLaw & Order: Special Victims Unit, beta dink Hank Azaria from Anastasia/Godzilla 98/Mystery Men/Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story/The Simpsons Movie/The Smurfs/The Smurfs 2/Family Ties/Growing Pains/The Simpsons/The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air/Spider-Man: The Animated Series/Friends/Mad About You/Stressed Eric/Tuesdays with Morrie/Futurama/The Cleveland Show/Sesame Street/Family Guy/The Simpsons: Road Rage, Bryan Brown from Gorillas in the Mist/Grizzly Falls/2008 Australia/The Good Wife, Alec Baldwin aka phaIIic Baldwin, after people stopped hiring him and he needed to do p0rn0, from Beetlejuice/Great Balls of Fire!/The Hunt for Red October/Mercury Rising/Notting Hill/Pearl Harbor/Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within/The Adventures of Pluto Nash/The Aviator/The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/My Sister's Keeper/The Alamo: Thirteen Days to Glory/The Simpsons/Walking with Cavemen/Johnny Bravo/The Fairly OddParents/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/candy a55 Saturday Night Live/The Cat In The Hat, and that one he killed all those people on, Michele Lee from Will & Grace/Family Guy, Bob Dishy from The Golden Girls/Frasier, Missi Pyle from As Good as It Gets/Galaxy Quest/Josie and the Pussycats/Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House/Big Fish/50 First Dates/Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story/Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy/The Artist/Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters/Mad About You/Friends/Frasier/Two and a Half Men/American Dad!/$#*! My Dad Says/Family Guy/Warehouse 13/Hot in Cleveland/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Drunk History/Bob Hearts Abishola/The Great North, Jsu Garcia from Vampire in Brooklyn/Collateral Damage/We Were Soldiers/Murder, She Wrote/JAG/Crossing Jordan, Judah Friedlander from Meet the Parents/Zoolander/Starsky & Hutch/Star Wars: The Force Awakens/Curb Your Enthusiasm30 Rock/Xavier: Renegade Angel/Sesame Street/Sharknado 2: The Second One/Fresh Off the Boat/Bob's Burgers/The Last Sharknado: It's About Time, openly black Kevin Hart from, hh, i only saw him in those cr-ppy commercials, Masi Oka from Austin Powers in Goldmember/Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde/Sabrina, the Teenage Witch/Reba/Robot Chicken, Kym Whitley from Nutty Professor II: The Klumps/Rango/Married... with Children/That's So Raven/Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law/The Boondocks/'Til Death/The Cleveland Show/Hot in Cleveland/Black Dynamite/Curb Your Enthusiasm/The Doctors/My Big Fat Fabulous Life, the grand Cheryl Hines from Unsolved Mysteries/Friends/zCurb Your Enthusiasm/Everybody Loves Raymond/Father of the Pride/Scrubs/Pickle and Peanut/Fresh Off the Boat/The Good Fight/Drunk History, Todd Stashwick from Law & Order/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Courage the Cowardly Dog/Titus/Will & Grace-/Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Dharma & Greg/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Malcolm in the Middle/Monk/Boston Legal/tar Trek: Enterprise/Crossing Jordan/Yhe War at Home/Ghost Whisperer/Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles/Curb Your Enthusiasm/$#*! My Dad Says/Phineas and Ferb/Gotham, and Christine Barger from cr-ppy a55 iCarly.

i never saw this but its prodced by danny evito, whos not an actor but a dwarf actor, like how neil egrasse Tyson aka the black hole, swz plutos not a planet but a dwarf planet.

reviewers hate it but it mae a lot of money

so ben stiller is gonna get marriedand is a risk analysist and goes out of his way toavoid danger

his homie is phillip seymmor hoffman who is a fat slob an was a child actorfom some teen movie and did stage wok but people thought he died(ironic)

after doing the hebrew thing nd getting paise for beign a great risk assessment guy by alec baldwin before he kille all those people and playing a jewish guy, they go to the islans for a vacation

dont eat the long pig, its human flesh

so he dropped his woman seeing a Komodo dragon and he bought  house and this naked eutotrah guy comes by and talks with em an offers em a scuba thing

he dont wanna go but agrees an queers out b4 going and she wanted to go and is carried by eurotrash ina  peedo on the boat

after doing cr-lp in his hotel he comes back an sees them b0ning and she sez they didn't plan it but she's confused and stays back

ben flips out and trys to tae him but euroteash gets him in a lock an later ben leaves her an accidentally drives off a cliff so he rides th b--ch seat with eurotrash on a mototcycle

at work everyone knows and alec baldwin sez she was a sl-t and pees and poots next to him and sez he needs hm to get insurance on this rich guy who's company is going public an he needs ben to get him

he goes to his home anda cop confronts him but finds he owns it and sezsorry for his woman

then he's watching his video of his weeding and hoffman comes in wth a camra crw for his e true Hollywood story and sez his wife looks scared  and faked being happy as h can see acting

hoffman gets him to a party and aniston is a server with wine and a chick sez she swore off men after her last bf

ben accindetly knocks over an art thing and aniston knows him from high school and remembers hoffman

hoff man sezz he sh-rted and pooted with sh-t coming out and had to leave

later they play b ball and talk and some guys come and hoffman plays and is an a55

hoffman sez not to date her and shes not a good girl cuz of her trmp stamp

this hairy greasy guy takes off his shirt an plays b ball and eventually smears hi greasy sweat on bens face iin slo mo

ben gets anitons nimber, named polly and calls her but hangs up then she calls and gets his machine so he rips it out an throes it

he comes by polly and she sez she star 69'd a call and thought it was him and he gives her his number

at work he hears the client boss wants him to have was in the hospital from a great white bite and she calls and sez she might be free and she' call him back

ben sees hoffman nd sees him playing in  esus Christ Suepr Star but he sings the Lead song and is told hes doing judas and he dont care

he tells Philip hes got a date with polly and phillip hossfalm sez if they choose an ethnic restaurant he'd have the runs from irritable black guy sysndome

at a pizza place hoddman squeezes the grease off bens pizza with pepperoni despite his hebretality and tals of spanking cicks he b0ne

at a moor restaurant he eats even though he cant hadle it and  sazzes out as she ez she had 8 bad relationships and aint big on commitment

ben goes to the john and its occupie and he holds it an after the dat he goes to pollys place and its got things still in bozes an a ferret  that has dead eyes

he goes to her bathroom anthe blind frrit gets in an he blasts lou d so he turns on the shower

hes outta paper an he uses a towerl an flushes it a  it overflos and she comes in nd sees him plunging it

after it he sez he didn't now her grandma id that towel and she wants another ate

at wok he meets the rich guy anthey go to the roof where he does a baseump an polly calls  about the ate and rih guy uses a parachute and gets in a tree thinking he fraxured hsi coxyx

at an Indian restaurant they meet bens parents and sez his ex is doing wellin the third world an acts like the bwon indias are the red inians

after it he tells its been 2 weeks and hsi woman was b0ning the scuba guy and polly comforts his a55

so he/polly go to a dance club an she dances with a latino guy

he sez he's not into this kinda dancing and they got too much ifferent and it might nt work out

so they o back to her place an are making out an she comes back in with small shorts and a tank top and make out

he smacks her a5 and they make out an b0ne and he hold back his good counting and yells 50 when ts amllst 5 mins

ben might wanna marry her and pollys friend sez she b0ned him cuz she felt sorry for him

at her or his place she has him knife pillows to feel better as he wastes 8 mins a day putting an taking off the pillows

later she son da phone and uses a key finer to  fin her keys in the firends and they go to a club an she dances with the mexicno cuba potariko guy feeling her up in a lusty ance

in the mens room he tells off latino for coming onto her but he sez hes queer an his butt buddy is in the band so he has latio teach him to dnce

dont get turne ben! you'll be back oor benny! like bennet the sage!

later he looks over pollys kids book and 1 is a kid getting his left arm bown off playing with fireworks

he brings her to workand shows his risk/reward thing and she lies base umping cuz is fun ns she gives him gain food nd he barfs

he goes with rich client to play racket ball and tells him he cant insure him but client invites hi to Nantucket to sail an try to manipulate him, also he busted a tooth in the racket ball

he tells polly of the  client and wines of eating bar nuts as people dont wash their hands an touch the nuts an she eats em and dont care

esp as exposure to germs boots your immoune system and the shelters guys are crippled bu it

they go to the dance club and he shows off hisnnew moves and she likes it

they come back and sees his woman who b0ned the eurotrash an polly sez shes not his gf wven though they b0ned and leaves

she sz she got tired of the eurotrash scuba guy and wants him back but he dotn want her

alec the killer wants him to get that account and polly calls

wife sends a gift saying remember our 1st date and and later he talks with hoffman and runs the numbers in his computer and it sez to go with pllly

polly dont wannao to soviet Nantucket but he sez hes not gtting back with his woman and they go to the boat thing btu theres a storm

she sees his laptop the risk assessment and confrongs him over it an he sez she as in the model u n an changed and his mom mae him afraid of everything and she sez her da had a second fam

she sez to get back with the wife and live with a family but the boat hits rocks an client rich liek Richard branson has a life boat he rows away with em

then a mosasaur eats em an credits roll to the song hellow darkness my old friend

jk really hes getting ready to mov out and leaves polly a message and sez client is uninsurable and wife calls but he dont wanna see her cuz she might have hiv from b0ning eutotrash

at the play JCSS he meets mexiqueer who's butt buddy is in keyboard an sez polly is leaving town soon

ben is with wif and his rents and boss calls saying egt over cuz theres a meeting moved up

in the play hofman wants to playjuas an Jesus and fight s aguy and sez they were amatures

bens dad sez get over doing that 1 role years ao and thinking ur better and move on but he was goo in that teen movie

ben tells off wife named lisa like in the room or robotech and sez shes a heartless b--ch for b0ning a eurotrash on their honeymoon and he wrecke her pillows

phillip sez not to listen to him and the e true hollyweird storywa guys he hired to make it and sell to the network

he sends pillip to fill in for him and phallec baldwin sez bens spleen burst and hes recovering and  he clears his throat a lot and sez the good things and that client is seuxally changed i mean active

ben rusn to olly but she leaves ina  cab w/p seeing him but this isn't ho it ends is it? they wont do that

yeah the blind fetrrit is there and we hear hoffman tell an overdone scene thing of how client is a bada55 andthey otta insure him for 20 years

the board likes him in crocodile tears and is impressed by him an insures the guy

polly comes back and she dont thin they belong together and he eats nuts from a cart guy and rubs the cart guys han in it

he drops nuts and sez he likes her and shes worth it and eats nuts off the floor

she dont wanna get married an hes ok with living in sin and they agree to have dinner

later hes with polly on the island and eutotrash comes by and sez the woman broke his heart and hes not married

they go to scuba with another guy and ben is naked and we see his possibly cirssimiced a55

then credits to positive msuic

toni blair dancer or w/e

scott morgan? the dbz guy?

the end

that was pretty fun

lite and silly and fun

it had some darker ideas but coveed it with xany fun and despite promoting sin, as enteetaining

good acting and music and hoffman went all out over a silly role

surprise industrial light and magic did the effects which i only really remember the torm needing it

and we see ben stillers butt, before he became back door ben with phaIIic baldwin going in

its only like 80ish mins long and dont feel it

glad i saw it

For Along Came Polly 2 I want them to be on the island and there's an uprising by malcontents and the gota get out beote the king is overthrown.  also its a 128 bit adventure game on sega dreamcast, gamecube, p2 and xbox where you play as ben an gotta escape these jungle and village and volcano and city levels with you trying to get to the airport and ecape with enemy soldiers fighting and you wther figt em or run and gotta use items you find to get past ares.

Friday, May 23, 2025

The Mercenary Review

Note: I spell like Griffith after the year in th dingeon

The Mercenary

This is my review on The Mercenary rom the diatant futue year to American Hero John Wilkes Booth of 1968((60 years before Roboech Season 2)

Its directer by el italiano Sergio Corbucci who diod npting I saw and is called A Professional Gun in candya55 england

it stars el uktanano Javk Palance from Shane/Arrowhead/Batman 89/City Slickers/The Swan Princess/Kill a Dragon, Franco Nero from The Bible: In the Beginning.../Die Hard 2/John Wick: Chapter 2/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Tony Musante from The Rockford Files/Acapulco H.E.A.T. Alvaro de Luna from A Fistful of Dollars, Raf Baldassarre frpm A Fistful of Dollars, Jose Canalejas from A Fistful of Dollars/For a Few Dollars More, Bernie Grant from A Fistful of Dollars/For a Few Dollars More/The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Julio Peñna from Red Sun, Jose Riesgo from A Fistful of Dollars, Lorenzo Robledo from A Fistful of Dollars/For a Few Dollars More/The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and a lot of mexicoes and Spaniards i never saw in anything an/o aint on bac door aids ba, Sodom  bottom, banadna crammer, frooty booty, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hoppie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants, Creator hater, monkey junkie, Wikipedia who tells a lot of outright lies and makes the Truth look fake.

I never saw this b4 but its a spaghetti western

after credits and totle to dramatic dissonant music then guitar in widescreen, we get arodeo thing of a uy in a woo horse dancing around

we hear how the story behsn by an accent guy of a guy called pako wirking and eating r-p and complaining they didn't get more on sunay

they are greasyu devolved mexicoes and 1 guy frins a lizad un his slop

in this fancy thing a guy brings a roast pig in and has a gunin itand maes him eat their cr-ppy food at gunpoint and gives the good foot to the workers

so he' berrie in the groun up to his neck and he lowers his head into the eath as horses come by, wich isn't possible

he dug up and book it and we see jack palance playing rds and having a small gun to make sure

at a casino or w/e this blode guy throws dice and its 7 after lighting a match on a guys head then makes a guy drink milk at gunpoint with the dice in it cuz its rigged

jack leaves a gn in the guys lass an he pulls it on blonde who blows him arm an dont wear glonrs to shoot better

jack is el polen zakken an is said to helpthese guys an wait i thnk its blonde whos the pole and they want him to help get thesilver from mikes that got took over

he wants a cut and the silver goes to America an jack wantsthe guy who was shot an i think drank dice to go afte r the poleand giv es him a gu  and as he walks by on a horse, the guy has a pitch fork in his gut on the floor

the town has a firing squa as theres a revolution whic often leas to devolution and blonde polecomes into a place fill of chicks anwants guns

owner sends the babes out and pole wants a machine gun and what year is this? he wants it for 1000 pesos but owner haggles for 2000 then 1500

jack sees some guys, brothers, and hoots 1 and asks what job he gave da pole and interrogates him with a beating in a river and asks how long a body will land in a valley of vultures

shot broher sez they sent him to the nmine for the silver and jack caps him

pole comes to a building with bodies hanging from the ceiling an lights a smoke on 1 of the boots

the safe is empty and some mexcoes get hm at gun point like stevn segal when he pulled out a credit card, cut 1 guy, took his gun, and slayed em

ple sez he looks for a garvia bro andthey say 1's cousin hangs there

he sez hes brought to bring silver over the border and this sombreo guy sez he hung the guy forwanting to move silver over a mountain or something an they starte digging

pole sez it'll; take 10 years  and sombreo sez theres 12 of em and poles gonna go cuz theres nthing there for him

pole gets smbreo at gunpoint as a human shield and afer a stand of, hey ge a message on a ticker tape thing(what year is this?) saying the brother army is attacking

the area gets busted ad pole has a machine gun and has the sombreo pay hi fto use and learn how to use it to mow down the enemy

they rive a ca (what year is this?) ad ump off when chase so it blows

after the battle sompreo hanks pole for aiding him andthey getta long

sombreo revolute to not due in the mine like his da/bro and will probably go bad with corruption like soviet union and cuba

pole leaves the silver mine and ack and men catch him an beat him up an jack throws the dice that came out the a55 at him

jack wants the silver an pole wants payment so jack pulls a switchblade but hs men are capped by the imbreo guys as they want pole alive

pole has em take jacks clothes except the unies as hes too ugly to g nude

they start b0ning him all over in a group thing as he screams

jk really he sez hed ice da pole and walks off with his a55 crack blurred out on grit

he's a slav who showe his butt! like tommy wiseau!

sombreo ants moneyto help him i mean i think pole wants ovey for 200 $ a day plus expences andsombro wsez the banks will be pen to em

pole teavhes em not to turn ur bac on a guy who's pockets you emptied and to book it b4 reinforcements come

in this town is the revolution guys training and in unifir, are those shurts brown?

wait its the town guards and the revolution guy attack and shoot the place up like a teen who the gov got to and they rob the bank but get around 60000 pesos

a chick there meets em and don' like the cops an her dad was a evolutionary and dont like these guys icing Mexicans with a pole but sombreo sez the ole helps em

sombreo sez the gov property belongs to da people lik supplies andinvites em to the revolution and i think joins em as they take the guars uniformes

theres a trainthat stopsand its got the revolutionarew on the train in guard outits who took it over and took horses from a train

they let these guards go back and bring some cr-op or something, i dont now i wasn't payig attention

`chick sez they robbed and the oldiers will return for revenge

the revolutionarirs party and rnk and probably b0ne but THEY din't make AIUS yet, or di THEY? what yar is this?

smbrep wakes up witha chick in his bed whenpole sez a regulars will arrive in fill force tomorrow and simbreo aks whos simon bolivar

they blurr out the girls big latina booty and pole sez theres rch and poor an sombreo only needs poors, which makes sence as hes big on revolution

smbreo is gonna stay and protect the people from da gov and pole rides off

so Pole comes back and the mecicoes eat and sombreo offers to pay double and Pole sez no credit

ple sez he can make em fanous and rich but no interference and makes a contract aying pole is in charge and he dont go past 8 weeks an he gets paid a lot

sombreo signs and chick sez thy otta give him women and sombreo sez to go to bed and she s like u go to bed nd sombreo sez pole dont bed her and she goes with him to b0ne as hes a hombre or omie in street

later sombreo alls in the pig filth and se its good for skin, as i guess he wants parasites and hick sez she'd cap him

pole and sombreo gfight an and pole wins by throwing smbreo through a cr-ppy wall like kenshiro vs han in hokuto no ken 2

they go on and find water thats warmand pole shoots a bucket hel over him for a shower

later they talk how there's a lot of enemies coming and we getta festival with skulls and fire works and angel costumes where they pull guns and waste em

they capture the town and have the mayor wash their cr-p and p-ss and spurm fille undies

1 guy sez a guy wants his land and to trade wives and they take the guy i think the mator away on hi word w/o evience to be capped

a guy comes up and sez they were frends in the mines and sombreo sez he sent the guy o et guns for the revolution  and gave him money but they though he was dead

sombreo pts a sraw hat on him and pulls his tie abd remembers him and ez he betraye the revolution and is taken out to be knved up as he sez he saved sombreos life

he as with women so sombreo has his parts destroye offscreen an not like back door brad the traitor

smbreo sez poles movey is requisyione by the revolution and hes to stay as thats how it is when you trust commies and claims to wanna fight for Mexico and take wat he thinks is his

he wants to sentence pole to something later and is gonna marry the chick w/o a priet so its not a real marriage

so he b0nes the chick an jack attacks with planes but sombreo sez its fireworks

a guy frees a SM tie up pole but he escapes and gets a horse an books it and hoots ou the plane with a rifle like that guy using a Tommy Gun on a plane in the WW2 movie

leader is locke in the cell as i guess he freed pole and chick shoots the lock off as jack grills a guy for info but when he don get any, leaves a grenade in his mouth and blows him out

sombreo gets away an works as a odeo clown and we're at the start

jack is there and recognizes him and has a guy lasso him but pole caps the lassooeer and gives each a gun with 1 bullet and at the theird bell chime to draw and fire

we got like 20 mins lft so this'll be like dbz with long drawn out cr--p

pole rings the bell eventually and sombreo clown gets cppe but ack took a hit on his chest flower and keeps over

sombreo clown is thankfl for the  pole saving him but is taken back as Mexico has a 10 000 % reward on him an pulls him along walking behind a horse on a rope

chick sees hes going to the 51s regiment an tells  Garcia brothercuz she ddnt like him brtraying her anwants to sell him to em

pole hums Chopin andgarcia comes in with a paper saying he's wanted and is Sergei Kowalski

so both pole and sombreo are gonna be executed by firing squad but chick knocks over barrels on a roof on the firing squad and sheep get out and all h=ll breaks looe

mexicoo smbreo gets out in a wagon with chick and pole gets off on a hotrse

sombreo sez totell his droogs to meet somewhere in 2 days and she rides the cart off as he has a horse

sombreo clown Mexico offerspole his share as he goes back for his people and pole sez together they  can do well wait it sombreo sayng it

wait is pole and sombreo sez his revolution is in soviet mexic and ides off saying they'd be goo partners and he has a dream an thinks pole dont

as he rides off Garcia an friends is gonna sniper him but pole caps em an ez eep dreaming with eyes open and rides off into the wasteland like violene javk

the end

that was pretty good

yeah it goes by with not much happning an its weirly dubbed with exican italianoes, but not bad

jack and the pole do good jobs and the mexic revolution guy tid to be charismtic as many evil leaders do

i lie how it shoe him mutilating and executing people w/o any defence an basically being a tyrant whileacting or thinking like hes a hero

good filming and music and the main guy being Polish or El Polen Zakken was a nice twist

ita got a lot of light and brightness insta of being dark and gri

i like it but it like the seeds of a horrible plant as these revolutions go ba fast

for The Mercenary 2 I want the pole to be called in with his female boybuilder gf to take out the Mexico revolution guy as he's taken over mxuco and sent it to a black age of forced amputation and mandatory cannibalism. He and his gf bust in with American Armor with blades and guns built in bust in and do a 2 man army with 1 as a woman or womb man an bust ing through the hordes of his followers an their slaves. In the end he gets to the smbreo guy leader who's eaten the souls of his slaves and their parts and devolves into a plant monster where he blows out its key kores and he blows open with the souls escaping and freeing Mexico. Its also a 16 bit beat em up o Sega Genesis, Snes, TH16, Atari Jaguar and BA with 1 player asthe OPole and he other as his gf.

Monday, May 19, 2025

Kiss Me Stupid Review

 Note: i spell stoopid

Kiss Me, Stupid

This is my eview pn Kiss Me, Stupid frpm the distant fiuture year to mary the elephant of 1964(50 years before Robotech Season 1)

its directed by Billy Wilder who did Five Graves to Cairo/Double Indemnity/Sunset Boulevard/Ace in the Hole/The Seven Year Itch/Some Like It Hot/Avanti!/The Apartment

It stars Dean Martin from At War with the Army/Road to Bali/Rough Night in Jericho/Airport, Kim Novak from The Man with the Golden Arm/Vertigo, Ray Walston from 1980: Popeye/Fast Times at Ridgemont High/1992 Of Mice and Men/Addams Family Reunion/My Favorite Martian the movie/My Favorite Martian the series/70s The Incredible Hulk/Little House on the Prairie/Star Trek: The Next Generation/Eerie, Indiana/Touched by an Angel/The Apartment, Felicia Farr from nothing I saw, Cliff Osmond from The Rifleman/Irma La Douce/Batman 60a, The wonderful Barbara Pepper from They Made Me a Criminal/Of Mice and Men 1939/The Snake Pit/A Star Is Born 50s/The Music Man/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Doro Merande from Our Town/The Snake Pit/The Seven Year Itch/The Man with the Golden Arm, Tom Nolan from The Seven Year Itch/Rawhide/The Rifleman, Alice Pearce from The Twilight Zone 60s/Dennis the Menace, John Fiedler from The Ballad Of Josie\Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day\70s Robin Hood\Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too\The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh\The Fox and the Hound\Winnie the Pooh and a Day for Eeyore\The Emperor's New Groove\The Twilight Zone\Dennis the Menace\My Favorite Martian\60s Star Trek\The Rockford Files\The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh\Winnie the Pooh and Christmas Too\The Book of Pooh\House of Mouse/12 angry men/True Grit, Howard McNear from Irma la Douce/Dragnet/I Love Lucy/Leave It to Beaver/60s The Flintstones/Mister Ed/The Andy Griffith Show/60s The Twilight Zone, Cliff Norton from The Dick Van Dyke Show/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World/The Ghost and Mr. Chicken/The Monkees, the dark artist occult user Mel Blanc frm a lot of cartoons, Henry Gibson from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang/1973 Charlotte's Web/The Blues Brothers/Gremlins 2: The New Batch/Bio-Dome/The Beverly Hillbillies/60s My Favorite Martian/The Dick Van Dyke Show/Fantasy Island/The Littlest Hobo/The Smurfs/Eerie Indiana/Rugrats/Santo Bugito/Mad About You/Duckman/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/The Wild Thornberrys(ew)Hey Arnold!/The Amanda Show/Rocket Power(ew)Malcolm in the Middle/The Batman/Boston Legal/King of the Hill/All Grown Up!

it was gona hav peter sellers bu his heart f'd out so they wanted jack lemmon who was the 1st choice

also i was gonna haemarulin monoe butr fk iced her so they wanted jane man sfield but she had Mariska Hargitay in her wmb n they got kim nova

The Catholic Legion of Decency objected to the audulty in it and its base on the play L'ora della fantasia (The Dazzling Hour) by Anna Bonacci hat i never saw

i never saw this but wilder is usually good

after ogowe get finodoing a show in soviet vegas and joking about b0ning and drinking as credits and title go by

also this is very widescreen and b/w

after the show he leaves /o sayng bye to the chicks hes b0ning an goes to candy a55 l a with all the purvoes an demon worshippers

the cops stop him and say theses a bad pilot ahead so he takes a detour and goes to a small town

a guy teaches a teen piano an plays beeth oven and sees something outside which spazzes him out and he tells teen off for being cr-py att piano

the mil man comes and gets a note piano guys woman left in the bottle so iano guy confronts him for it but finds its a note for milk an a dozen eggs

hes paranoid for his woman b0nin g other guys and the music is tense like a horror movie not a comedy

teen is 14 almost 15 an he goes off at teen for going after his woman and rps the teens shirt as he runs off on a bike and calls teen male lo lee ta(which looks like he tried b0ning the teen)

a guy fat for the 50s sings a song about being things that needs things like a poached egg w/o toast abou being w/o his woman

piano guy sez they wrote a lotta songs and got nothing so fat guy sez others are as good and do well and they have a chance

mentioning a dentist makes piano guy call the dentist with mel blanc not in a demon ritual and is high on laughing gas an sez his wife aint there

he thinks how the 12 eggs and milk means milkmns meeting his wife behind the daiy place at 12 but goes back to singing

dean comes by and has a smoke ehich killed him and fat guy is the gas man and is starstruck and gets piano guy to see him

ean goes to the can and piano guy sings his song at him but he don't care and when fat guy checks the pil he f's up his car and dean leaves having enough of em

his car f's out from a fuel line being disconnected and is towed back and they say its f' with technobabble as dean ont get cars

they say it'll take a while for the parts from milan but piano guy sez they can fix it if they work all night they can have it reay by tomorrow

piano guy gets him to come to his place and dean wants chicks to b0ne

in there he notices a mannqiuen of his wife for dresses and is intertsed as its got big t-ts and he hieds it in the closet

his woman comes by an he pressueres her to say where she was and she admits it was getting a cake for their 5th anniversary which is today

he feels bad and she sez she saw dean who shes a fan since 16 and wants to put on his record but he gets her not to

she wants to go ew lingerie and he sez he'd rather b0ne and trys to keep her away from dean whos in an undershirt and boxers in the sewing room

fat guy comes by with italiano food and piano guy sez to get out an get rid of dean

they come up with an idea of introducing some 5kank to b0ne dean and say its his wife an send wife out and piano guy dont like it but sees wife in the shower and ean slaps her a55 and sez to come in lamb chop which is her nickname and not the play along one

fat guy sez to have an argument with her and she runs off to her moms place and he goes in and wife thinks he got dressed after a shower and after she goes to look at her weeding pictures he sees dean sucking a faeg and asking of his wife

he tries to fight his wife with an aefument but she dont go with it and hes got a grape fruit to slam in her face like james cagney

then th reverent piglet comes by with chicks to sign a petition to lose the belly button a place withchicks in bra tops like the Degrassi girla wanna wear and he signs it as the priest and women  stay for a piece of cake an rev has grapefroot for chlesteral

at the belly button is saggy Barbara pepper and kim novak who's brought over in a pick up truck by fat guybut she has a cod

the reverent leaves an dont brign the wife as its their anniversary and he tries to get her to argue as he claims he was at the belly button an b0ning other chicks but she dont buy it and he sez he's going home to mom as she trusts him and dont think he'd be b0ning and he sez she thinks he's not hot enuff

he sez its you who otta leave and gets her upset an she leaves and fatguy gets kim over an shes in a leather coat lie the sailor strlights woul wear in the 50s, then leaves and sez hes supposed to be fixing the car

piano guy; its not big bt its clean. kim; what is? me; surprised they can say that in the 60s

she sez she remembers him from church and his wife is out an all the girls go to church and he wants her to be in his wifes clothes and she thinks its too weird

he confusingly tries to explain is not for him an she gos with it and she goes to change but sneezes and her belly button jewel falls out and into deans room

dean wakes up when golf clubs fall an he sez its 4 pm go back to sleep and he's looking for his wifes navel

later he puts his music sheets around and kim gets dinner ready an they go over how they met in church and he got to know her by onating 3 bpints of blood at her blood bank work but 2 a week got a transfusion and made a song for her

kim is glad to work as a wife instea of a h--ker and almost got married once to a hoola hoop salesman and was gonna go to vegas but when she woke up he was gone

she sez his fingers had small moons and was ba so pino uy has big moons an she s a manicurist and woroks at the belly button to get enough to buy a car to get ou as theres no manicure thing here

she hears dean singing playing dino and she likes any willaims better like nelson in the simpsons, or the remake or animals, the chimpsons, where bart say ay harambe

he gives kim his ring and ean comes out with a faeg in his mouth like a lot of Hollywood guys and not getting how fatal it is

dean meets her and piano guy has en tlk with dean thinking she could be fatter as i thin he likes em thicc

piano man asks how much she weights anddean lifts her an guesses 115 and 120 which is lie 100 less than my gf an she guesses he's 173.5 and its dead bang

they drink and sit in a 3 man love seat and he nits saying he got it after quitting smoking

she checks his hands and sez he's got mall moons and piano guy sez small moons means gentleman and scholar an he's got big moons

ean tells a sjoke of a guy in a theatre who's lobster kept pinching a chick unde her dress as dean does it to kim

he keeps lustily coming on to er and shes not liking it and piano guy goes as dean comes onto her more

she sez shes lamb chop cuz she wears paper undies and as he gets spaghetti she sez to piano she dont like it and piano sez he'd throw him out if he tried it with his woman

they have a candle light diner and elsewhere real wif's moms sh-tting on paino guy an saing she coul ahve one better

wife hs enough o her loud angry mom like a gaijin and goes off

at piano houe ean dropped his napkin again and felt up under the table the kim

piano man plays one of his songs to dean to dance with kim but shes in a chair an dotn like the dean feeling her feet like one of those foot guys an drinks kianti outta her shoe and having her drink some

this i like those guys on deviant art drawing sonic characters feet, surprizs he dotn lick her stinky feet to gte the tatse of sweat and ooor in his mouth

wife comes home an sees him dancing with kim whos drunk and dan is blow the window so they don see him

fat guy notices shes there andshe thinks he was honest for saying he was out b0ning and fat guy sez thw whle thing was his idea ansh smacks him an goes off

dean likes the song and wants 12 copys for his droogs and dean is gonna go in the garden and see her parsley which is shicking for the 60s

he has 12 60s i mean copies and hes gonna go and has her play a song that meant a lot to em but she dont know it and eh pays it for em 1st

at a bar the belly button his real wife is drinking and tells the juke box to play melancolly baby

thicc Barbara pepper sez she had enough and otta go back to her man but she b--ches at him.

Barbara sends her to kims trailer to sleep it off cuz shes the organist wife from church

at home piano is playing a good song and kim likes it and dean wants to buy the song but he wont sell it and hes said to have a bowlening meet and has to go to leave kim an dean togteehr to b0ne

piano guy asks if she really wants to be alon with the dean but she sez she has a dog i emn job to do

fat guy sez to hol to to get more songs in an album an piano go gets riled up at an wantin to b0ne his woman and runs back forgetting its not his and busts the window door open to get in

he sez to get out and uses a bowling ball in a bag and fights offscreen

dal walks out, dripping with blood an takes a bite outta the guys hand he's holding

jk really he's thrown out and goes off to the belly button

piano guy sez togihht thy are mr and mrs w/e their name is and he turns out the lights as he dint wan that faeg smoking ape b0ning her and they go to his bedroom and it fades out, implyied b0ning

in the belly button  dean sees the chics here s-ck an is told the mst popular chick is pollie the pistl as she's backing a 9 inch b0ner and goes to her trailer

in there is ral wife anshes scare when he comes in but is ok when she sees its dino and she sez piano guy is her regular and is a sw=nger

she sez this is her night off and he sez he tips large and dean had enough of italiano songs and they sing an smooch an it fades out and they implied b0ning

in the am dean leaves and wife wants him and found 500$

mik is driven back by i mean kim and dont want money as she aint leaving the town and he drives off

kim comes back an meets wife anthey say they had fun being each other for a night and she gives her 500$ and gets back her husbands ring he forgot

she sez if she finds a loose navel at the home its hers but wife is going back with her rents or w/e

later teen is playgn piano beeth oven and mulk man comes and sez mrs didn't order for a few days and piano guy sez she swith her rents and gets mad at him

piano man sees his wifes maniquin nd is bummed ancloses the door its in

he gets a ripe, walks upstairs and the credits fade to black

j really fat guy comes in and  hes mad at hhim for ruining his marriage butn he sez wife want to see him at the lawyers for divorce but he sez he's gonna be a witness for her

at night fat guy comes with wife andhe sez sorry but she ass where his wedigg ring is and he sez it fell in the shower

on the tv next door ddino sings th song wife got him to use b4 b0ning him and she wants more alimony to leach off him w/o having to work liek a parasite

dean sez he heard it in a small town and listedn to it after turning back and if you got wat itt take, someone will listen to you

these small fmales mayne 12 year olds lie sailor Saturn fangirl over fat guy and for writing the song

kim pitol polly lie polly pocket but with guns comes by in a car pulling her trailer and he sez shes a manicurist and he dont get how wife got back the ring and she sez "iss me stppoid"

Wo am i? I'm Spider Man!

I wanna take his face... Off!

look for it only it books, its nothing more than a dream remembered, a civilization, gone with the wind!

The end

That wasn't so bad

noeadays femnists would whine of a lusty italiano and but its ell acted and ditected

its like a sitcom but better filming

i can see why it was too hot or the 60s but nowadays the simpsons is edgier

interesting idea, kinda sinful an dean gets away with it

its well made but makes evil lo lie not a big deal

this is why jerry spriger happened, devolving lust

For Kiss Me, Stupid I want him and the wife to have a disease from b0ning and try t find a treatment, in the end, they go to the rainforest to find soem tribal plant to cure them, but are rotting and falling apart and gotta get to the hien temple with the golden water. Also its an 8 bit game like Montezuma but as animals in th jungle and tmple attack, you lose partd and if you run outta partits game over. Its an 8 bit game on Sega Master Ssyte, a dn Game Gear, NES and Game Boy, TG16 Atari Lynx and 7800.

Saturday, May 17, 2025

Munchies Review

Note: i spell bad so i don't get roprd off, nag i ust spell bad

Munchies

This is my review on Munchies from the distant furure year toJohn Waybe of 1987 ((40 years before Transformefs Zone an The Robotech 80s Movie)

Its directed by Bettina Hirsch who's oenly female and did editing on other things but this was produced by the ubermench Roger Corman

it stars Harvey Korman from Blazing Saddles/High Anxiety/History of the World, Part I/1994 The Flintstones/Dracula: Dead and Loving It/Jingle All the Way/60s Dennis the Menace/The Flintstones 60s/Star Wars Holiday Special(aw f--k)Mama's Family/Garfield and Friends/Hey Arnold!/The Wild Thornberrys(ew)/Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Nadine Van der Velde from JAG, Robert Picardo from The Howling 1/Back to School/Total Recall/Gremlins 2: The New Batch/The Pagemaster/Star Trek: First Contact/Small Soldiers/Looney Tunes: Back in Action/The Golden Girls/The Wonder Years/im hesons Dinosaurs/Batman: The Animated Series/Home Improvement/The Savage Dragon/The Outer Limits/Cow and Chicken/Buzz Lightyear of Star Command/Justice League/Sabrina, the Teenage Witch/The West Wing/Justice League Unlimited/Cold Case/Castle(f dat show)The Good Fight/Justice League Action/Young Sheldon, Wendy Schaal from My Girl 2/Small Soldiers/Welcome Back, Kotter/Little House on the Prairie/Happy Days/The A-Team/Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction/American Dad!/Family Guy. Paul Bartel from Eating Raoul/Frankenweenie from te 80/Chopping Mall/Gremlins 2: The New Batch/Hamlet 2000, Ellen Albertini Dow from Sister Act/The Wedding Singer/Patch Adams/Road Trip/Eight Crazy Nights/The Golden Girls/The Wonder Years/Star Trek: The Next Generation/Seinfeld/Beyond Belief - Fact or Fiction/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/Just Shoot Me!/Will & Grace/Scrubs/My Name Is Earl/Cold Case/Family Guy, fran welker from pretty much everything, and a buncha guys not on back door, aids bag, sodm bottom, frooty booty, gender offender, cripple nipple, banana crammer, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants Wikipedia which dont have pages for most of Go Nagai's things but has eps of svu.

I never saw this and its not Munchie the 90s move by Jim Wynorski

its said to be a gremlins rip off and was filmed over 12 days and 3 for puppets and bugs

after a logo this guy goes star trek and sez he's captve by Klingons but really hes on a trip looking for rocks and aliens with his dad or w/e and is in the 3rd world and wants to go to sovet LA to be a comic

dad dont want him to go to that cesspool and sez its like new jersey with earthquakes

they go in a temple in the rock wall and theres carvings which is probably from some ancient high tech roup THEY wanna cover up

dad thinks the aliens cut the stones with lasers but alsiens are fallen angels from another dimension an the past had giher tech than today like shining force and the ancients

he finds a thing to a pagan godand the teen paul like paula abdool finds this creatie dad thinks hes an elien o son thins is a german ww2 genetic xpeeiment

dad thinks machiu pichioo is a control tower for aliens and they ships and son gets his duffel bag and dad puts chocolate in there but if its a dog it'll ill it

dad tells the a Mexico to keep the wokers silent and we get title and cretis to colored fun letters and music

edited by james A stewart? jmmy sterart??

so they get back form south America and get back to the 1st world and paul meets his woman

they were in peru which i think is a slum but maybe not and she sez the giants won

she drives em wearing a newspaper hat and goes by  cop who has a radar gu and sees she sped and stops em

cop mocks dad angives her a ticket even though she treid downshifting to avoid speeding

they go to a plac with a guy in a mounchase listening and chic went warm blooded vegateation and dont eat mammals or birds

she calls the monster a munchie as he eats a lot of un food

dad bets son if he can keep the mystierious alien creature safe and hidden for 1 day, he'd talk about the l a thing, bu if not, he statys hhere and does community college

mountche gu wants to buy the land from dad whos leavibg and is his brother and dont wanna

moustache's stepsonis a stner andbum and wants 500$ andstepdad slaps him around for being on drugs and wanting to go to a hackey sack tourney

chic whines about how she eats sea food and pal sez what can they eat together an she ont like fillet o fish cuz its made with beef

stepsonlistens to music and mouchsnescratches the record and sez i he dotn help him he'd send stepcson to a teepee in Utah

paul and gf go to b0ne andmouchate and stepson cnean around

as they sart to b0ne the munchie comes in to bed and they notice him

they say "you know what they ay, the more the merrier!" an he crawls into thwyir butts

jk relly they send him downstairs to watch tv

moycchste and stepson come in and see him eating in a cupboard and try to getn him but he escapes

moustache lures it in with a rope and stepson egts it in a garbage bafg and they escapebut paul and chick hear they leave but dont care and go back to b0ning

mounstche and stepcson have the muchnie who looks like the crypt keeper meets baba yaga meets a hobgoblin and mouschse threatens stepson to guard him by usin a small toy looking guh

stepson dont like munchie who turns on the tv wheil stepson is listening to muic and smacks him awayso he throes pool balls at him and recorfs that he surfs on

i like the black and white classic design of the room, its ike a checkorboard liek some kida pee wee herman thing

so he beats the cie but ittransfom nd fights back and he gets a gunbut isses

in the itchen he egts a knife thrown in his leg and shoots muncheie so when munchie attacks h cuts him in 2 at the waite with a bi a5 knife like violence jack

this is surprisingly more violent than i thought, but thn again so was gremlins with the knife and the microwave and th rotting into slop in the sun

stepdad driving with his woman sez he dont know why she adoptd him

the muhine has fregenerated anfthere's several of em now

in the home paul and chick look for minchie andhe sez she narly married a jo montana impersonator in soviet Hawaii

outside they see several munchies wth a gun on the roof and chic does a sexy dance as paulputs a garbage can on em

he didn't remember they got a gn and they know the can off and fire on em then get in a car and drive off soehow

what if these fought the smurfs?

the couple chases em but s pulled over by the cop ad paul sez the car has soviet spys with silicone valley secrets who wants to blow golf land

the munchies wreak ggavoc on the roadlike its mad max to 80s muis9oc and blow a old ladys car

moucstchee sez he needs more lad to store toxic waste and se;;s some as beef jerkey

they get back and find the place fd and stepson dead andhis fish too and tells her stepson f'd p andthey call in help

on the road again the m inchies hassle a biker gang and run e into a lake sowhen the paul abd chick come by they hear from where where they went

cop sez he knows its not soviets and its the stepson and his stoners and couple wants em to put out an al points bulleton but he dont wanna

muscahe comes by, sez stepson is dead and cops gad he gets a murder case

paul tells off ichate or capturing munchie and he calls e non American so they say his food isthe number 1 ood o cosmonauts  so he ez u gotta let the soviets havw a % instead of a brone and the fo ff

the munchies see some blondes in a lake and drive aroundand launch in a lake and take 1 chicks bikini top and pop the oher ones inner toob

they get to shore anfpaul come in beating m with a baseball bat and goes after the main mubnchie he calls Arnold like the weener in the maoc school bis

it really a skunk in the pipe and they go on but out the pipe by a kids place  they come out

this kid nearly does a finfer touch with1 like Adam and The Creator i the art piece but his ad comes out and hoots 1 but gets attaced as they hie inside

mouschate guts womanfixes he tire and they go on and paul gets in the house but kids dad pulls a gun but  a munchie mauls him an escapes so he brin em to a r to get help where kids dad sez he was mauled by a grizzely  b4 so hes pret bada55

mustage has an add to loby for malls in places to ekp kids with acades and paul reads there was stories ofthings given life with the fire of the gods that maks em indestrucrtable

like Prometheus giving man fire?

in goldland the mungies screw around and a highe rank cop comes by and mounchese sez if they et in the mines the town will find they store toxic waste there

the paul nd gf ome buy to tel em of the new info on he munchies but he dont wana hear it stheres a  ting at gold land

in there he opens a 36 round mini gold land and as kids dad plays kid rys to wan him but he dont care and 1 attacks so his woman maces him bt hes ok

1 guy gets attacked in a vending machine and tell a cop and paul and chick arrive

cop and oher cop whos his dad compliment each other and moubchece sez to get the things and the pull guns and go iff

paul sez u cant kill em with guns and muchce dnt care so he cuts e up wth ee clippers but they regenerate

paul and chick are being brought in by cop andtheytalk him into going back as the hobgoblins head for the facrory with the toic waste

at the factory they see they can kill em with electricity like The Thing

they go in and its cold lie in thecave in peru andcop has a tarantula on his nec an gets scared even though they are peaceful kind crwatures so chick pcks it ip and puts i safely down

they synchr the watches and go down sperate paths and why is it so light i here? its a cave at night!

in a restaurant theres these midgets cleaning and its a burger place that the miuche an woman an ad cop come to but the munchs too over and killed the lights so when they come on the moustache has ahredded pan  legs

in the cave cop hits onchck but she dont want him but hes knocked out in the nex scene and he tru to get hi up by prom iing him t be his but goes back a bit each rime

she goes bak and the munchis come after her as mouche whe and da come cme in

payl wakes up cop an mounhe and gang gets in the elevator to the bottom but ses chick and closes it and goes up

she climbs and lugs the floor at the ladder as munchies chase her anlater is chased by munchies and hides in a coset

the paulgoes up the ladde r and 1 munchie eats his waty through the wal  and paul sees he nunies i a facory thing being cut up on a convwyor belt as the last battle's gotta be in a factory

paul unplugs it andthey attack im with a nail gun but e gts an axe an chops a cable and ams t at the metal thin to zap em

chic uses a wire hanger like myra breken ridge i mean monmkie dearest andunlocks the door and gets out to meet paul

1 uncie survived an ruggles with paul wgo throws it an its zapped

she has a graven idol and sez he had to brin e someting

in the elebator stck after the munchies cut the power the cop comes by and sees his dad is in it and ad seto hit the switch and they get out

paul has asbeston forator tot mix an agent orange for orange things an moubchce sezhe made it with a specialnaytraLIZEr an offers paul a ob

paul slugs him and dad cop arsts em for poisning the ood like THEY do with soy and other things and pig enzymes

op gives em a lift home and teyhow the guy from  eating raul an idl he givs em 25 000 dollars for

dad sez he had the ample analu=yzed and it had toxins not from earth so mavhoo pichoo is an lien toxic waste dump he canmake a book of

paul gets to so to l a and i think the idol is th main Muncie Arnold and dr raul eater goes off as dark clouds are over em and we hear the munchie talk

the end

that was pretty fun

nice effects and backgrounds

good acting

positive armosphere

good violence

likable writing

the effects wre puppets an not cg

pretty decent rip off of gremlins

glad I saw it

still need to do Critters, things, chubbies, beasties(not beast wars), ghastlies, little devils, and munchie.

For Munchies 2 I want it to be the revealed that the aliens who used macho pichoo were from another realm and the miunchie thwre was a yokai sent to geuurd it. But without him guardinb t, a sout amercan yokai takes over machu pichu and plans to use the elements there to reverse engeneer the chemical they used  for conqest. an now its up to the daughter of the tofessor wth he statue to brng it back to thetemple and revive it. Alao its an 8 bit platfotm game like the master sstem zillion 1 on Sega Master System an Game Gear, Nes an Game Boy, TG16, Atari 7800 and Lynx with yu going through the passages in machu pucku with a lightening gun that shocks the enemes and a power suit that lets youump higher and tank hits better.

Friday, May 16, 2025

Urusei Yatsura Only You Review

 Note I spell like a yokai

Urusei Yatsura: Only You

This is Ore Samma No Review Of Urusei Yatsura: Only You from the distant fiture year to Yagyu Jubei of 1983(30 years before Roborech Season 01)

Its irc ted by Mamoru Oshii who likes Guns who did Ghost in the Shell the 2sy movie

it stars a buncha guys from the 80s and was dubbed by no one i know of

Its based on the manga by Rumiko Takahashi who did ranma 1/2 and UnuYasha

i saw it b4 and liked it but never really saw the tv anime or read the manga

ater logos we see kids playing in a simple colored styleand at a playground and the boy jumps o the gitls shadow

she sez its her planets marriage proposal and they gotta get married and she goes off in a space craft saying she'f be back in 11 years

he sez ih 11 years he' be 17 which is th same as 7 to mokey brains

we see this bird thing fiding a bike in the air like that robotech ep put a leder in a bo an his w2 german like sldeirs deliver it in an actionyt scene of racing on motorcucles

the master sez read it and it sez he's invited to a wedding of Moroboshi and he wigs out then thinks it a joke then sez in case its not contact the intelligence chief

he thinks lums unhappiness is assured a cuts i think a tatami mat human training things head and sez he'f cut Moroboshi i 2

then title ad a song of the bird yokai handing out invites

later word spreads that ataru is getting marrie as he walks and lum his alien oni or w/e gfflys behind him  and worry lums gonna have a woman episode and bust of the school

in class ataru eats and gets a note saying to meet at the clock tower for a cutey and dont tell lum

in therethese nerds have ataru chained up for biamyand are lum fans cuz shes a bikini girl thwy lust for

ths dolza from robotech looking guy tickles his foot cuz thats a fetish and they wanna kno who L is and I'm getting dear note flasbavcks

this nerd wants lum like theseguys lusting for hatsukne miku anddont mind him getting her ifit means shes happy like the beta males they/them are

they'e gonna urture him but Shinobu comes in sayingshe thought she was his 1 and only, son of maryy lou Malone, we gotta fin em all, gotta find those dragon balls, but lum came in and dumped her

she beats on him then l8m comes inwatig to know wo is L and after the betas attack, she hug and zap himwhich f's out the clock tower like castlevania

the master, mendo, and his ss guys comev in and he goes toslice maruboju  in 2 who i thin is ataru

lum defends him and the clock tower shakes as the sky goes stormy like my dreams of the rapture or Rubeus's ship in sailor moon season 2

the mendoguys are gonna fire tanks at the sky ut white flower pedals rain and a big robotech space caft comes in

stairs beam downwith an anime chick in a sci fi thing comes to bring Ataru o L

Ataru wants her and goes with her but lum objects and she sez shes not L and he made a ptomize to marru 11 ears ago and brings out a hag who's said to be L

Ataru runs but hag sez shes L's nanny andhe goes with it and hag sez they'll get him tomorrow cuz things gotta be done

lum attacks and a barrier protects him as he can't be harmed til the wedding and ataru is giddy lke jamesin that pokemon game

the ship leaces and looks like a flower bug andlum goes off whining as sme chick wth long dark hair lie sailor mars thnks smeone exists who can compete with,ums bad taste in men

at a cafe or w/e lum sits and piano playsand she goes arund town as a chic follows

rh chick wips out a 9 inch d0mg and b0nes her, jk thats violence jack

lum thinks how shes got nowhere to go an nothing to do and this 80 red bkini chick comes by and the chick i sai had the d0ng is revealed to be following her and vainishes in a spray of flower pedals

red bikini eats with lum and a restairnt and talks of what to do about ataru as bikii chiv like marie crytal in robotech sez in a fight the 1st move wins

red bikini chick an not red like siviet, is benten like the goddess or cyber cuty guy and calls for a star ship and bill planet L

an oni guy in a ger suit wh seems kinda slow wants miso soup but is ent by benten to get something

lum goes in a ufo and ataru is getting reay to wed L as his mom whines and dad ez ur still in high school so no borrowing money for a wedding or honeynmoon

a hairless miget or budisht prorst who migt have a shaved head and swastika tattoos  sez bys leave their moms to live and mom wigs out

lum comes into take aaru to marry hwr on her planet and uses a vacuum to suck him in as its not lighting or an attack sothe barrier wont stop it

she takes the monk midhet and ges off in a ufo as benteni a ship goes off with her

mendo's zone reports a yfo an his forces are useless at stopping lum getting mrndand they adbst motr people

 ti attend the wedding and ly off with an 80s song playing

this is how anime otta  be not wiener kids crying in the wind

they go through space an gt more anime chicks fron i think the show but i never watched it

the use tch to bust the barrier and ataru meets lums dad a big oni died and ataru's rentsare there saying they otta get married and lms mom is ataru's moms friend and da will give atarus dad a job

he begrudgingly agrees and if this were a womn coerced to marr a guy, i eould seem "evil"

lum/ataru look inti space and lum is happy and gives ataru a ring of tiger stars from her bra to onnect em but he sez he wants L

she holds him ow and puts the ring onlike a slave but not fun andhe ont want it

the ship comes to an anomaly and lums da sez revere thrustbut they come to a fleet with the flower ship the L fleet waited for em

lums a sez reay da weaponslike 1 small ship can handle a flet like a shmup like zero wing

they launch their ships and it loks like macros do you remember love insie he ship but the following grl i said had a b0ner is on there and hid in a fae animal

aaru sezt turn him over to space em i mea spare em andlum gts whiny and eventually beats him out with a hammer to store him somewhere safe

b0ner chickhammers lum out abd gets Atari and we see this beefy chick coslaying as lum and beating out guars and lit9ng a door open

the beta brigaide is amazed at the war and later i think its actually the b0er chic andsheis gonna take atarunout in a jet as ataru wakes up and is glad to be saved from lumand is broadcast the ship

lum comes o and takes a damaged fighter out and if she uses the afterburner it'll blow

lum chaesctaru but her shup blows like ses florida man micowaving a microwave andataru is shocked but shes in a barrer like in seailor moon ith the moon kingdom veing reborn and floats off

atru gets tothe flower ship and warps off and b0ner chick is told she was to only brig the groom but brought others

on te planetits really 80s anime like Outlanders but light anataru's homies are with him

beta b--ches at ataru for livig on this world nt urth and they hav a beef restaurant there too so beta whines of other thibs like ramen with tofu like etas eating soy like

ataru is glad to matru L and becme kin of da plnet like Edwards wanted in robotech ii the sentinels andcan have all the wmomen an offers beta some as having a universal haem

L gets dressed in a weeding peach i mean ress andhad small red air and eets ataru with joy

they getta lomg and beta wants to ry to et her as does mendo and L tals of her childhood tme wit ataru as a kid yars ago

ataru is glad shes queer of the wordl but she sez it was chozen for her and gos for a itting

mendo shutaro flrts with L at night an he brings him to aninner part wiha lot f guys frozen in tubes lie Jewel Princess in New Cutey Hney

she dont want the love to go ad so she freezes the guys to keep em and wants mendo

mednos gonna be frozen as  sazd out chained to a thing but a chiockholds the freezing thing up andoverpowerit to bust it

so the gus are catute by Ls men an Ataru dont want her anymore so L has him locked up and is gonna srnd th guys back to earth

hag wonders why LL wants him and she sez hag wont undersatan

lum and her crew are on the planet i think and shes gonna hrow away her ring but dont and we get a sft song seeing her go around space and 1 hin like the doom tree in season moon

this small onikid who flys around but is chained to a ball in the cll wth ataru and insults him fir deerving this ir what he did to lum an ataru whies as he eat

laer its the weddg day and broadcast aroud the cosmos as b0ner chick is drinking in a bar over getog f;d for her misake and sees lum in disguise on tv

his pink haired bimbocomes t benten an sez she found ataru and they gonna go in

on an air bike this chic i thinklum in a black cloak lke gaijin wear even though theyre in the 1st word, comes by  an security chaes eher

the lum homies attack in various place and throw the ecuriy into chaosas they scramble and i think all L husbands get out an run wearing roboteh masters like outfits

lum heads to the ritual sactuayt where atri maruboshi is gonna marru L and ries o get awaya this blue glem looking minister is gonna hold the heads togeydet like arlic jr with krillin and piccolo

lum breaks in an ataru runs to her and L mers he

then the husband swarm busts in and totaks the place and lum tries to hold ataru wuth L holding him

brnten sucks en up and not like muroku an they're attacked by the deence force so they go vack in time somehow and it looks cool like 80s anime does

they see kid ataru and L playing as kids when her dad brought her to earth and a soft nice song plays

they say an old cstom sez if you jump on a shadow ur engaged and kid ataru jmps on it but ault atatu points out he never actually did, as it was a bit of

the kids whines and adult them comfort em as big ataru beats on kid ataru for hugging lum

they go back to their time and L sez get out and on come back and  tells ha to catch her husbands

the urisei dudes get home ad lum is gonna marry ataru who freaks out at the alter and runs and everyone chases him

then credits tochibi aaru running, then credits in English with clips rom the film

the end

that was pretty good

nice 80s comic fun

its based on the legend of Urashima Taro and wasthe the urusei yatsura movie Rumiko Tatahashi sed was closest to her work and the drector didn't like the chanes the producer made him do

but thats according to aimenewsnetwork and thoe aids bags are devolved

i liked it and it lightened my day after se bad luck

glad i saw it

back when anime was creative

For Urusei Yatsura: Only You 2 I want it to be the 20000s and apan is in a cyber city with magical tech from lums people. Ataru is married to her and she keeps breeding with him so all the pregnancy's have made her fat and ataru hads grown buff from having to b0ne her all the time and handling her tonnage. then L's forces return toget revenge as she's never got over her issues with him and had enough when her husbands all gang sicide and wants ataru now. So Atarui and his female bodybuilder daughter team up to fight her army of cyborg husbangs using their bodies with mechanical equops to move em, andfaces her 4 heavenly king generals, then the hag and finally L who's been eating her usbands not made into robots and is a blob on a throne andbarfs acid at em. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, tg16, Atari aguar and ba with 1 player as atau and 1 as his daughter andlum and the othe kids were captured and are gonna be eaten so they gotta brig it to em ginga! Bull!  Bull!  Bull!  Bull!  Bull!

Monday, May 12, 2025

Relentless Review

 Note: my keboard is f'd, so imma spell bad

Relentless

This is my review on Relentless from the ditant fiture yar toJefferson Davis of 1948 (80 years before Robotexh Season 2 kinda)

Its directed by George Sherman who did Big Jake and many more films bt i never saw em

It stars Robert Young from Crossfire, Marguerite Chapman from The Seven Year Itch/Coroner Creek, Akim Tamiroff from Queen Christina/Tortilla Flat/Five Graves to Cairo/Touch of Evil/The Rifleman, Barton MacLane from The Walking Dead/Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 1941/The Maltese Falcon 1941/Law of the Lawless/Town Tamer/I Dream of Jeannie, openly ukranian Mike Mazurki from Rope of Sand/Samson and Delilah/Dark City/Davy Crockett: King of the Wild Frontier/Some Like It Hot/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World/Dick Tracy/Gilligan's Island/60s Batman/I Dream of Jeannie/The Beverly Hillbillies, Robert Barrat from Captain Blood/Mary of Scotland/The Last of the Mohicans 1936/Marie Antoinette, Clem Bevans from Valley of the Giants/They Made Me a Criminal/Sergeant York/Saboteur/The Yearling/Harvey, and a chick i never saw i anthing

i never saw this butits based on the srory Three Were Thoroughbreds by Kenneth Perkins that i never read

after logo tilele and credits to 40s color and proper fullscreen we get a rainy town where these gold hunters go to a bar for champaigan cuz they made it rich in gold digging

main guy comes in and is bringing a horse to some place and a guy sez to put it in some place for the gold diggers

the gold diggers go back drunk and singing and someone wastes em in their cabin and the killers split up and say to meet on the other side of the mountain

then its sunny and a chick comes in on a wagon wit cr-p to sell or w/e and goes to get restocked for her selling busnes she got from her dad and is going east and her godfather wants her to marry a guy

she talks with mai guy and they getta long and he buys some beer or w/e using buttons he cut from his coat and is going out and she offers to sew buttons on his vestso main guy goes out in a snowy place and the horse is gonna poop out a baby and dont wanna go on and its clearly them in front of an edited in bg

after pooping it out offscreen we see the killers mmeting and the  main bad guy wants his half of the map and they fight

1 falls off a hill and opens fire on the fleing other and wastes him

bad guy steal main guys gorse even though the baby needs its milk and beats out main guy but he comes to and follows

he finds the horse dead and  finds him but the other bad guy i think who gave main guy the horse caps the horse thief or maybe main guy did

the talk and othr killer sez to go on as he'd get strng up by the town b4 a trial and the people won't get it

he goes on and meets chik who gets him canned ilk to feed the horse kid but  it dont work

they go to a farm and theres a horse who's kid was sold and has horse milk

he buys the milk horse for 3$ and wait, i looked it up and the pregnant horse is mai guys and he was gonna go in the gpld diggers place but bad guy told him not to so they could ice them

so they go on and a posse comes after main guy for icing the gold diggers and 1 bad guy

main guy rides with chick and talks of how her job is good as shes her own boss and how he sees her as another man as shes not looking for a husband

man we're half an hour in, that felt like nothing

he tells of the guy who took his horse and him icing him and is gonna turn himself in after getting help fir the horse kid

the posse comes by and he hides in he cart and posse sez he iced the 2 gold digger ad the guys had their vests cut open and he was said to be in the gold diggers place

they go after him and sherrif comes when main guy comes out and gets him at gunpoit tells his side and they realize the bad guy is rex i mean tex and main guy goes off and sezchic hadnothing to do with it

sherrif has chick getta file to cut the cffs main guy chained him to the cart with and chick sez he might be innocent and sherrif thinks shes gay for him

so after a montage ofmain guy looking for tex and herrif looking formain guy with a risinf reward he mets chick who has the horses and she looks kinda ike a hetero katy perry with her dark curly wavy hair

main guy sez da horse has grown and looks cr-ppy and main guy sz he looked in a town for tex and sturred up a posse

she offers to hekp him and he dont want it and suggests he brings the horse but he dont wanna when looking for tex

after some bickering some guys come buy and open fire adhe escapes i the grass after taking a billet and the guys wanna torch the place and do it

as he burns demons appear and he makes a pact with em and crumbles to dust but sez he' be back next year

k really he escapes and gets on a horse and ecapes as the posse chases bt he ecapes with a bullet hole in his arm

man her 1 hour in, that didn't feel it

he goes to a bar and blacks out but some guys tend to him and think he's a drunk and 1 thinks he's wanted as if he wasn't he'd have went to da dr sooner

main guy comes to an the soviet sounding guy sez he might tell the sherrif and th posse comes

the sinal f'd out  but they agree to a deal and sherrif talks to a dr and goes i thesoviet room but main guy is gone and soviet guy covers for him and i hope he didn't bne main guy when sleeping

tex has main guy wait its soviet guy and wants the map to the mine and he sez he dont got it and dont draw it as he has it i hi mind and gets beat up

after that he draws something and not a butt like Arnold in escape plan and soviet guy goes out to see if its real and has main guy tied up

how does he poop? does he go in his pants? does he stink? like a gaijin?

in town da dr sez he dont get where main guy went and chic hears

soviet guy checks the office and the map guy se the map is fake andhe goes back

main guy cuts himself loose on broken glass not up his a55 and chick comes by offering to sell em cr-p

main guy sees a chance and bats out te guard and WWF chain nails him and ecaps with chick as  a guy fies on em and  soviet guy returns and sez hes iseless when dead

she sez to give up and run away but he wants t9 catch tex and prove his innocence

they come across a saddle and he equips the milk horse and gets supplies from her and she sez she changed the horse jrs nam from storm to breeze amd sez its the stock u come from that counts(eugenics??)

he goes off and soviet guy and another are near and see em and the signal f'd out cuz i'm watching this on GGrit and Antenna TV

and we're 90 mins in, that didn't feel it

the sherrif guys by a geezer i thin might or not be the guy who sold em the film horse

around now the sinal f'd out and we watched it on youtube

jr horse chewed the rope holding him and goes off and the milk horse dont go as it has a bullet in it and he finds by finding the water thing has a hole in its a55 and he operates

sherrif comes by chicks wagon and is gonna arrest her for helping the outlaw but she sez main guy spared him and is only trying to clear his name

they agree to look together and go off andmain uy makes a tent for his milk a55 andgives it water

jr horse comes by on a cliff like a heoab makes devolved horse sounds that make bronys j-zz their pants and comes down

main guy saddles jr up and they go off despite jr not wanting to leave its milk a55

they go on to a rcky hill i saw in many westerns and main guy feeds jr water in the top of his hat b4 going up with a gun

te is at thehre andi think its the gold mine and fires at him but dont hit andmain guy takes cover and firs to make tex scuttle aeround

main guy sez es nik bucley like William buckley calling gore vidal a queer and  creeps around as tex fres on him

he returns fire and sez he wants to take him alive and sezhe wants him alive and i think he shot the waer tanks sohe's got a time limit in the sun

then drinks and enjoys it like in the third world how the dark followers burn guys alive in cages as i drink mountain dew an laugh at em

then he tells how dring of thirst makes the tongue swell and eye come out and the soviet guy and his droog are there

he fiishes hi water and sez it been 5 hours in the sun and oferes him a chance to surrender like the frechies

he gets nearras Texas alexis nt Hannah montana is not looking and sez togive him gold to let him go as if tex wacks nick, nicks an outlaw, but if nick kills tex its another murder

that gold wull do tex a lot of goo in h-ll

tex wigs out and wants enuff wter to get to town andofers to come out s behind him nick throws a rick and tex fires where it hit a lot

main guy nick, which is an n work like necro and ninja gets him at gunpoint andleads him down then has him at gunpoint in the sun as nic is in the shade and sez cook til you talk

tex starts talking and sezthe guy doublecrossed him but the soviet caps him and takes nk captive

sovietis gonna have nik capped and take the mine as no one as it now but sherrif comes i with chick and soviet sez it was nik who did him

tex aint dead yet and gives the ma he took, admits he iced the gold diggers and finger the soviet and his droog for capping him

then main guy and chick go off and kiss with the a55 with a hole from a bullet in the wagon and the jr horse walking

the end

that was pretty good

nice color and filming and the music and acting is good

it goes by at a good pace and has flow and don't drag

it dont feel long and has a good feel

classic western with good light and honor and a guy trying to prove his innocence

nice effects and its got good action and the horses did well in here

glad i saw this, its a nice one

For Relentless 2 I want them to be going around and run into an underground city of prariedog people o want the horse for breeding with to make horse prarie dog slaves. so the guy and girl fight through em and use items from the chicks wares. Also its a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where 1 player is te guy and the other is the chick and they beat through a hive of prarie dog yokai people and fight the queen who's a big background thing they gotta beat iys swelling that pop out and it blows with green ooze.

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Two Rode Together Review

 Note: I spell 2 at a tie

Two Rode Together

Tis is my revrw on Two Rode Together from the distant future yar of to D W Griffith of 1961 (50 years before Transformers The Headmasters and Robotech Season 1)

Its directed by John Ford who did The Iron Horse/Mary of Scotland/Stagecoach/The Grapes of Wrath/The Quiet Man/The Searchers/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/How the West Was Won 

it stars Jimmy Stewart from Made for Each Other/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/It's a Wonderful Life/Rope/The Naked Spur/Rear Window/The Man Who Knew Too Much/Vertigo/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/How the West Was Won/The Rare Breed/Firecreek/Airport '77/An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, Richard Widmark from Yellow Sky/1959 Warlock/1960 The Alamo/Judgment at Nuremberg/How the West Was Won/1974 Murder on the Orient Express/Coma/The Swarm, Shirley Jones from he Music Man/Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth/The Partridge Family/Sabrina the Teenage Witch/That '70s Show/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Hot in Cleveland, Linda Cristal from The Alamo, Andy Devine from the 20s Noah's Ark\30s Romeo and Juliet\30s A Star Is Born\30s Stagecoach\The Red Badge of Courage\the 50s Around the World in 80 Days\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\The ballad of Josie\the 73 Robin Hood\60s The Twilight Zone\60s Batman/The Last Bandit, John McIntire from The Lawless Breed/War Arrow/Apache/Psycho/Seven Ways from Sundown/Rooster Cogburn/The Rescuers/80s The Incredible Hulk/The Fox and the Hound/Turner & Hooch, Paul Birch from The War of the Worlds50s/Rebel Without a Cause/Joe Dakota/Queen of Outer Space/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Willis Bouchey from Deadline - U.S.A./From Here to Eternity/Them!/A Star Is Born 1954/The Violent Men/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/Panic in Year Zero!/How the West Was Won/Support Your Local Sheriff!/Young Billy Young, judy garlands 4th husband who went queer, probably cuz of her, Henry Brandon from The Son of Monte Cristo/The War of the Worlds 1953/War Arrow/The Searchers/The Ten Commandments/Assault on Precinct 13 from 76, Harry Carey Jr. from Red River/Blood on the Moon/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/The Searchers//The Rare Breed/Billy the Kid Versus Dracula/Big Jake/Cahill U.S. Marshal/The Shadow Riders/Gremlins/Mask/The Whales of August/Back to the Future, Part III/The Exorcist III/The Rifleman, Olive Carey from The Searchers/The Alamo/Billy the Kid vs. Dracula/The Rifleman/660s Dennis the Menace, Ken Curtis from Santa Fe Trail/The Quiet Man/The Searchers/The Killer Shrews/The Alamo/How the West Was Won/disneys Robin Hood, Arthur conan doyles goddaughter Anna Lee from Bedlam/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?/Mutiny on the Bounty/The Sound of Music, Jeanette Nolan from Psycho 01/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/60s The Twilight Zone/The Rescuers/The Incredible Hulk 1980/The Fox and the Hound/The Golden Girls, John Qualen from The Grapes of Wrath/Jungle Book 1942/Casablanca/Captain Kidd/The Searchers/The Big Land/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/7 Faces of Dr. Lao/A Patch of Blue/Firecreek/Mister Ed/The Andy Griffith Show/The Partridge Family, Ford Rainey from White Heat/The Robe/Rawhide/Halloween ΙΙ 1981/The King of Queens/Little House On The Prairie, Woody Strode from Sundown/Demetrius and the Gladiators/The Ten Commandments/Spartacus/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/Once Upon a Time in the West/The Quick and the Dead, O. Z. Whitehead from The Grapes of Wrath/The Pirate/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/Panic in Year Zero!/The Lion in Winter, Regina Carrol from nothing i saw but did Brain of Blood/The Female Bunch/Dracula vs. Frankenstein/Blood of Ghastly Horror/The Naughty Stewardesses/Girls for Rent/Blazing Stewardesses/Black Heat/Black Samurai/Doctor Dracula, which sound like p0rn0s, holy cr-p Mae Marsh is in this! She was in The Avenging Conscience/Judith of Bethulia/Intolerance/The Grapes of Wrath/Jane Eyre/Miracle on 34th Street/Fort Apache/The Snake Pit/A Star Is Born/The Searchers/The Birth Of A Nation, and a few guys not on back door, aids bag, sodom bottom, banana crammer, frooty booty, gender offendr, cripple nipple, Creato hater, dingo sodomingo queer a a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants wiipedia who colors the truth to mae good people look bad and bad people look good.

Its based on the 59 novel Comanche Captives i never read

i never saw this b4 but Jimmy StewaRT and Jon ord and Ady Devine are usually good

after tital an credits we getta mexicp village and a guy rings bells and a horse thing comes in

a guy sez a chick pooped out a boy and a guy was dead for a while and jimmy stewart is herrif and guys bug him but he sez hes McKay and they fear him

the forces come in with a leader and any devine who jimmy sez is fatter and leader is hard on em but is nice with jimmy and jimmys giving em each 1 beer like in tiny toons

some redneck possible militia comes by and sez the judge is too drunk and wait its 1 guy and immy turns em loose and they have jimmy buy em each a beer

a chick called mrs aragon like lord of the rings in the bar whines of them coming in her saloon and leader being dusty and not like dusty Rhodes the uncle of alexis rhodes in Yugioh GX

they have a beer and leader is ordered to bring jimmy back and dont tell why

they go out and have cigars and talk of a girl with a syilletto se carrys that he waned to marry and he reveals he gets 10% of everything in town and ant handle a marchalls salary of 100$ a month but leader sezhe gets 80$

they go to a town or camp or w/e ad the people spazz out over immy and seem scared and 1 chick sez jimmy had a halo as i guess she saw his aura

wow, e're half an hour in with adds, that felt like nothing.

jimmy don't like what he was called in to do and they offer him money, so he gives em 400$ to buy scouts to go to the Indians and ask for the Whites to be freed and is gonna go

they still want immy and jimmy wants 500$ for each man saved from commanche and army guy dont wanna and jimmy sez they can't send the troops in w/o breaking the treaty and need a civilian to do their work

army guy se the people wanted a Moses to save em and jimmy walks out but talks with the eurotrash there and sez to forget this guy had a daughter as the commanche probably b0ned her and had halfbreed kids

eurotrash guy don't care and waited for 7 years for the army to save em and he has 200+ money andjimmy accepts and he sez his daughter has blonde hair and blue eyes like Mexicans lust after

the blonde from the partedifew family has 2 guys wanna b0ne her an she throws flour or cocainum in their faces and a soldier tells em to stop and the guys wine that 1 guy the yankees brought in i better than all of em

army leader sez the only way e an answer is off duty and outta uniforme so meet him later at a place as i guess he's gonna be swearing lie an Italian rapper

blonde ells off the guys wanting to dance or b0ne andlistens to a music box and her dad sez not to orture herself with it

army guy tells leader togo off with the guys and he sees it means to desert

he and the pople go off in wagons and he grows closer to blonde w sez 9 year ago her brother was captured and she hid when the idians took hi and he was 8 and she was 13 which is old enough for THEM

he comforts her and gets a pictue of her bro togive to jimmy andjimmy is drnking booze and talking with a guy about his stepson his wife made him promise to look after so he offers 1000$ to find a boy to replace him and say its the son

leader comes in and bickers with immy whos drunk and immy goes off after they change plans to launch before sun up

they give jimmy the picture ad he unkenly whines of how its been years and how he's got greasy braids and scars from the sundance ritual o sticking wood spikes in his flesh til they rip out and he's calped Whies and grunts in their red tonge and he's raepe her and pass her around to his reds

se runs off and is sad her brothr was devolved and leadr tlls off jimmy and comforts her

some rednecks hassle leader and get a chip for leaer to nock off his shoulder from jimmy and evenrually it devolves into a fight but its clearly daylight but tnted to badly fake being night

also this is colored and widescreen

so blonde getsand to come and belly bump the rednecks in the pond and blonde treats the leaders cut hand

then its a gunshot and they find its the commanche and1 woman goes out in the river to get her boy but it dragged back by soldiers

latr its openly day and leader sez he wants to ride together and immy sez its ur scalp

then Comanche are around em and bring em to the camp and jimmy knows commacnhe and talks wih a steven segal looing c-ck sucker

they have guns and a mohawk guy comes in and acts apish and its revealed leader encountered this red b4

they meet a geezer who's cautured by the res and is one of their women and they know of her boys and she'd rather be thought of as dead than be nown ti be a red slave and not red soviet

geezer sez some Whites were sod off in Mexico andmost are dead and thres a White woman there

later its openly night and seal guy dont like em and theres a pary or ritual and they meet segal in a tent

they tlk of a guy called stone calf whith a White wife as a captive who wants to be in charge

imym wants to buy back the captives like slaves which is funny a THEY whine at the Confederates for owning slaves but the reds did worse and ae seen as "innocent" o "victims"

thy talk to a red guy but he's the brother and  he wigs out over being called his real name, or deadname as the mentally f'd say, even though names don't die, those who fea them do.

jimmy makes a deal for more rifles  with segal and buys whites in red outfits and 1 is a Mexico and was sone calfs woman who sez to send her back to not p-ss off stone calf but dont have free will as she's been enslaved and b0ned by that aka saru

they bring her with em as she fears stone calf and when they stop leader wants to not stay and fight stone calf as it might start a war

jimmy pulls a gun on leader and its tense but they split up and leader gets the boy and jimmy the Mexico and stays back

leader brings backthe Red assigned White at birth andhe treis to run and gibbers in Comanche as his momcalls to him as he's brainwashed to hate his real self

they put that thing in the ail and he goes ape an the army guy sez the people wont be ok with only 1 guy saved

he thinks the people won't give up on their family and he dont wannna pay jimmy as he probably fled and the white acting red isn't really the guy they wanted

the guy who wanted jimmy to bring back a guy to be his son wigs out and gets b--chy

mexichick tells her story of how she was in love with a guy and went with her surviving fam but the Comanche caught em and used her like a woman like the alleged axis allegedly did in the alleged camps in the 60 movie Exodus

immy comforets her and hads her near him but hes ot tryng to b0ne her but neep her outta the way hot rod as this red guy i think ston calf comes in and jimmy sends him bac to h e double india

she mexichick does some red screaming thing and jimmy kicks the body and in the real version, probably stuck pine cones up the butt hole

in town th dror army guy or w/e sez theres no evidence this boy is who they say but a fam sez it night be a chance as a kid taken young and raised in only commanche might forget English

no one wan to take this ruined kid and the people wanna give up but the crazy chick wigs out thinking its her tony and 1 guy takes it in but thinks its not his but will take it as his toby(i thought it was tony)

Good thing for Heroes like Custer takig on those jigoku no aka saru, they devolve the people into apes

jimmy brings the mexichick back and the peope aint glad to see him

he finds the guy he got the e white teen for dont want him and abnothe guy took him and leader has jimmy arrssted or something

leader has a thing with blonde and want to marry her

jimmy meets with i think army guy who never liked him and is glad for jim wacking stone calf and discharges him from the temporary service and pays 40$ as its 80$ a month and he did a fortnight

mexichick thinks the Whites fear her and dont trust her and worry she'd jump on em and maybe eat em

in the commanche she wasn't sad even though she was f'd by those things and now worrys what he Whites thin of her

jimmy thinks she'd be dead by 30  as a Comanche and otta toughen up and be a man and theres a dance tonight and she otta get her hair done and smooches her even though he's like 40n years more than her

at the dance the blonde dances with leader and they go outsid to smooch

the crazy mom unties the white red teen and is otherly to him and treis to cut his hair but he gets the scissors and she screams and it cuts away so i tik he stuck em in her a5 and pulls out her butt pipe and ate it as she sceamed

jimmy and mexichick comes in and the people dont like her but leader tries toget his men to dance with her

1 chick asks mexihick if she bred with the red and she sez no and another asks something but she runs b4 the question is finished

i gotta say, after 2 hours i thought it was gonna end with them retuning but the afterward with the ex slaves to the reds adapting to human life is lie rovotech with he last buncha eps after the 1st war

leaer clashes with his men over theyir treatment of the mexhchick and she comes in and tells her story

she worked hard and took beatin by those apes but didn't have any kids with that animal and didn't ice herself instead of being a red butis gonna go but immy sez she didn't suicide cuz its a sin and she had Good Faith

immy sez he limits his time in the cmmanche camps and its h-ll but she wanted to go back today cuz the people here treated her worse

the town finds the red white shanked the mom who cut him loose and ran off and they wanna string it up but say something of a trial and are gonna lynch that animal

they drag him off and he's fraking out over a music bo the blonde had and sez MINE all devolved and blonde seez it her bother

they bring it out bak in the woods and slap it around and string it up and cut away as the horses run off

blonde is devastated that thing was her brother and no he's in h-ll and i thin busts the music box

i guess she's gonna eat her gun later

later immy comes back and the militia guy redbeck is now marshal and gets all his perks and clothes as its supplies by the town and they had an election while he was out

mexichick comes by and they go to aragons place and she nows of her red past and b--chily offrs to have her be the red mascot fo the place and mexichick runs off and wants to to to soviet California

immys gonna beat the black offa her but aragon pulls a knife and he goes off after paying his 6 months room rent and meals and tells the leader to take care of the army

immy goes off wih the mexichick and the leader and aragon thin he found something better than 10%

the end

that was pretty good

didn't expect the way it went but it showed the danger of the reds and the damage done to people by them

good acting and jimmy was pretty bada5 and you feel for the people in here

good music and colors but the obvious day scenes as night

it don't feel like 2.5 hours with adds but goes by well and has nice pacing and flow with no drag

Its well made and Ford does it again

For Two Rode Together 2 I want immy stewart and the Mexican chick to be in California but theres a dark cult sacrificing people it captures that runs it and immy and the Mexican go out to end em. Its also a 16 bit beat em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where 1 player is Jimmy and the other is the chick andshe uses commanche kung fu. In the end, the cult sacrifices themselves and Jimmy and the chick use holy bllets and blessed limbs to beat this monsterous daemon that's like a blood red repile melted and bulky.

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Romance Of A Jewess Review

Note: I eat Kosher but spell non kosher

Romance Of A Jewess

This is my rebiew on Romance Of A Jewess from the distant future year to King David and Sauil AKA Paul of 1908(120 years before Tramsformers Zone maye)

Its directed by the amazing D W Griffith who did The Musketeers Of Pig Alley/The Birth Of A Nation\Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience: or "Thou Shalt Not Kill"/Broken Blossoms/Intolerance\Way Down East\Orphans of the Storm/Abraham Lincoln/True Heart Susie/America/A Corner In Wheat.

It stars the 2st named American star who wound up suiciding afye her life fell apart Florence Lawrence from nothn I saw, George Gebhardt from nothing I saw, Gladys Egan from A Corner In Wheat, John R. Cumpson from nothing i saw, Guy Hedlund from nothing I saw, Arthur V. Johnson from nothing i saw, Alfred Paget from The Musketeers of Pig Alley/Judith of Bethulia/Intolerance/, Hly cr-p its got Mack Sennett! And Harry Solter from nthing I saw.

I never saw this before but Griffith is good but most of these actors died soon after like before the talkies.

Its by Biograph which I think was Thomas Edisons company and did countless films mot of ehich no longer exist

after title we see a family at this possible chicks eath bed and act exaggerated as was custom for the time

so the woman in bed bites it and her, i wanna say daughter, but i guess it wasn't only the 80s an 2020s that you can't tell guys from gitl, hugs what i think is her dad or grandpa

then in a music store i think this guy with a huge a55 tua comes in and starts tooting but its silent and the guy who does the sound effects in the thearre has been dead since like the 20s

a guy is a striped shirt like a Frenchie leaves and the da and daughter help him with his tooba

a lay comes in with white clothes and i think its pantloons and the dad or grandpa unfolds em and she gets b--chy over it

a moustache and top ha guy ina striped shirt i wanna say is yellow in real lifr comes in an has a stick an gives em his jacet an neck thing and starts taking off his pants after tuning the head of the chick but is stopped

i guess she is a chic but sh could always turn her head back

after miusgathe guy gos off a spazzy guy comes in and givs his coat but is given it back and leaves

a dark suit guy comes in as dad or granpa is out and meets the chick and gets some books i think but keeps stepping back to talk to her and kisses her arm but leaves as dad returns

dads gonna pull off his parts!!

So a beardo in a top hat with a Moses Beard comes in and brings a dark beard guy and tries to get the girl to hold his hand but she don't wanna and jerks back

ark suit guy who kept coming back goes in a room and drops his books, looks in 1 and walks back to the store with the girl

he hols her and leaves as dad comes in  with his irish up and not hs b0ner like soviets on 1940s Germans

dad goes to the next room with dark suit guy with books and trys o convince hom not to like his daughter, which isnm't said but yold in expression and body language

dad leaves but dark suit guy imma call book guy cuz he holds books looks bummed then gets his chutzpa up and storms back in as da tells daughter and shes bummd

they flail their arms like italianoes  and daughter  gets etween em and book guy smooches her

dad tells her off but she goes with book guy and hugs and dad tells em gtfo as she begs for mercy but goes off with book guy

then we see book guy and gorl wit a kid and i tink its yars latr like dbz going to the android arc and they are happy and seem to have a book store

kid goes off but book guy falls off a ladder with books and girl trys to hep him but the guys she brings back seem to say he' dead and she freaks out and seems to do cpr but maybe kissing his cprpse

the ttle card sez they are forced to sell and the books are accounted for as shes crying and leaves with her kid

tiytle card sez living in poverty and they are in a cr-ppy place sleeping on the floor ad probavly doing mouh stuff to pay the bills

her kid goes out and winds up in dads shop her grandpas and gors to sell something as he owns a pawn shop

he recognizes it and talks with her and shes shocked and sees its his grandkid

he gives her  hug but not a creepy one with him sniffing her hair like an irish demon and they go to her slum home

they find the girl hanging from the rafters and dad can't take it and pulls out a gun and shoots himself in th had as the kid screams

jk really they find the girl sick and they reconcile but i assmue she caught somthing from b0ning guys for money but not aids as THEY didn't invent it yet

he kisses her n the mouth and she bites it and he comforts his grankid

the end

that was well done

mostly old in body language and very few title cards

most of it is in 2 rooms with a few others

good acting and filming

much was made in long shots and it has good movement and feelings

goo story like the Prodigal Son but darker

nice bookending of the story with chicks biting it an cophorting the daughter

its a well done film and only like 13 mins

glad i saw it

griffish was starting out an most of these actors would be dea in  few years, but it shows his skill in film making beginning

For Romance Of A Jewess 2 I want the grand daughter to be a teen and falling in love woth a gaijin and grandad isn't keep on it but knows what happened last time he rejected his girls love and tries to hold back, but whn he sees how the gaijin is gonna sell her into slavery and use her to breed gaijin kids to use tell, he gets his alchemy out and casts a curse that cuases the gaijin to start rotting and when they go to get married, he falls apart into a pile of moldy flesh. Also its an 8 bit mini game thing lie the Saint Tail Game on Game Gear but for Sega Master System and Game Gear, Nes and Game Boy, TG16, Atari 7800 and Lynx where you do mini games to hold back the anger and when you find otu, you get the ingredients for alchemy and then do mini games to cast the spall.