Friday, January 31, 2025

Ghost Town Review

 Note:L I spell towny

Ghost Town

This is my review on Ghost Town from the distant future year to f dr as he was burning in h-ll by then of 1956 (50 years bfore Transormers season III)

Its directed by Allen H. Miner wo's not on back door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, gender offender, crupple npple, frooty booty, banana crammer Wikipedia tha youtube use to spread lies

it stars Kent Taylor from The Phantom from 10,000 Leagues/Law of the Lawless, John Smith from nothing i saw Marian Carr from It's a Wonderful Life, John Doucette from  Outpost in Morocco/the 40s Batman and Robin/The Texas Rangers/Strangers on a Train/Deadline - U.S.A./50s Julius Caesar/The Robe/Cry Vengeance/Destry/Red Sundown/60s Cleopatra/7 Faces of Dr. Lao/True Grit/Patton/Big Jake, Gilman Rankin from Black Patch/the 70s Assault on Precinct 13, Edmund Hashim from Shaft 1/The Ten Commandments/Get Smart,and a unxha guuys on on aids needle drinking wikipeia

i never saw this but its 77 mins so like 2 hours on Grit

after a player piano to creidits and title we see a red man drinkingand throwing the bottle at a rock

a coach with people comes by in this mad max wasteland and stops to fix a horse shoe but this blonde chick is nervous

the guys talk of the area having potential but needs to be civilized and she ses shes meeting a gentle man at ridrock

at rim rock its f'd and ruined like that base Scott Bernard went to in Robotech and these 2 cowboys com across a shed in the wasteland and draw their firearms but find no survivors

scruffy cowboy whines of traveling 90 miles and used up his water but clean cowboy still has some andges a sip for 900$ like esau and jacon in thwe bible

cleanboy has a woman wjo scruffy sez will recognize him at 1st look from looking for gold and the coach comes by

a bunha guys come out like a clown car and blonde comes out and hardly recoginied him

the worry abut the red man attacking and retirn to the coac andshes a soft spoken blonde whos feminie and gentle like a good 50s woman

shes going to soviet san fran sucko with him andhe rides out but 1 guy there dnt like clean guy

they ride off and the cach guys talk of the red man attacs and 1 defends their ttacks while another says the Cheyanne did it but 1 blaes the White man for giving em booze

clean gy finds a booze bottle and scruffy sez it was from the raid on rim rock

they worry about te red man and how theres somethin on the coach tht gold can't buy and some American forces come by to warn of of the red man

they are going to rim ock but are told rim rock was iced and they worry of the red man in the way to fort killdare like dr killdare and talk with the guy who hates clean guy who dont wanna go out of his way

he's told clean guy is with the gov and knows of the reds and hate guy se tey can reason with the reds but is told it wont work and the coeach driver wants to go north awary from the reds

they have conflict but 1 guy gets arrowed and the reds come for em andthey book it bt the driver on the coach gets it

so a guy takes the reigns an they make it to a town like in shining force and theres no obe in it but the reds dont come as i guess its haunted or has yokai in it

the army guys son was in the coach and 1 of em vanished and they say he might've been a dr and they ready base in the empty town

They look around and the saloon has a player piano and is this a horror movie

army guy dont like killing and londe has a deringer

clean guy thinks the ton was wiped out by fever and theres X's on the twn

so they find a cffin in there and 2 guys talk on if the dr was cared for by the reds or cook by him which many tribes skinned and roasted people alive, you thought the axis was evil? the reds did some heinus sh-t

they gather suppies and have 130 rounds of ammo and there's mail bags to guar an scruffy wants a new hat but 1 guy offers him 1000$ for it but clean guy dont go for it and and dont want the gold seperated from the duo

blonde comes out in a dress that was hot in the 1800s and clean hero sez shes 2 as pretty as he remembered

the guys probably wanna b0ne her and have hard d0ngs looking at her so will j=rk off on the floor in a pile for a ritual

she wants to get out and  clean bf dont as its dark and not safe and she asks of the golf and he sez he has enough to by the  newspaper

sh sez if they are wedding she otta know how much he has and he sez if they marry it dont matter

she wants to open a paper in the east but he sez theres new cr-p in the west like mark train and bret hart not the wwf guy

i think hater yeah it him sez tae time for the clean uy and clean guy is in a barn with a horse

he whips out his 14 inch d0ng and jams in in the a55 like a brony

jk reallyhe finds a red hag and woman with a gun, wait, the hag is a dude, wtf

red chick is half irish half red and her moms side is wait its the non hag whos a chief and he has no onhue and turned over his arms for a treaty with the gv and were attacked

the reds sai he was a liar and cut it out as thats what you d when someone says something you dont ike, if you dont have a soul

her and dad he hag are fleeing the reds and wann get to the north andshe gives him his gun and he wants em to join em but she dont trust him and thinks he'd give em to the cheyeanne

in the saloon the son wans to have some water but dad sez ait ur turn and get a share like the rest an is a harda55 on him

the mutilated amputee red and his daughter whos half devolved wit the irish dna comes in and clean sez they wannacome wit m

army guy sez he used her for butt stuff i men scouting and not like the sailor scouts and she lead em to get 50 and found 300 but the calvery got em aved in time like birth of a naton

she sez it was meant to be a peace meeting but they attacked and ary guy sez it was peaceful after they wasted em

army guyhates reds and don truct her but main guy clean thinks this is not good

they hear bird sounds and a feather behind something rises and a red man is in it making calls

the people in the saloon are cautious and 1 guy sez the reds are regular people and not to fear but when red chick puts her hand on blondes mouth the army guy caps her

the arm was blown clean off and the stump blasts blood

jr i mean jk they put a cloth on i to handle a bulet in it and the people get mad at the army guy for giving away their position

the reds yell and ride off and it looks like daylygtb inside with the light from the windos andoutside looks clearly daylight with the sun on the roof and heavy shadows

a rat loudly runs across the roof andthe red men ride in and both sides fire at each other b4 the reds run off

its revealed the hater is a gun runner who sold guns to the reds for army rejects, so he's a traitor to America like cnn and  wikipeda

a red tried to get in but is nailed in the head an the sympathizer tties to stop em cuz he thinks they can reason with em

he dumba5edly runs out to reason with em and sez they are friends and is gunned down

grizzly man 0

so after bickering, the reds return for another rrun ndthe Americans are running low on bullets

a shot hits the player piano and scuzzy guys drink is shot out from him and the piano plays

1 red is shot off the roof andthe reds do another drive by like detriot but less homies

the rds leave as they dont work nights and the reds threw the dr's bag they took from the guy they ate

turns out he was a horse dr and they have horse meds and tools and hater says they are getting onto blonde and if she wants to, leave her door unlocked

clean and scruffy named crusty say they need soeone to get to fort killdare and son sez he knows the land but dad thinks hes a candya55 as he was in school and he likes making things grow 

a lot of people are good as farmers, we need eem to make food and keep people fed

he knows of his dads army map and can do it but they say its too dangerous

at night the hater goes to blondes room and its lockerbut as he walks off it opens and he goes inas crusty hears something

hater sez if you make people hate each other you collect on it and sell to em and he plans to ecape and get the clean guys gold but sez clean guy isn' gonna savr em and he can as he can sell em the hag man amputree as the reds are mad when they halfway tortute a guy and lose it

so hes gonna trade him for safe passage and assume they keep their word and wants t include her to gte the clean guys gold and sez to seduce himlike this(smooches her and she gays out with him straightly

so son books it to save em and sneak through and dad dont understand how beign hard on him made him snap and by now he's either there or in h e double soviet California

the reds come and stone knife arrives to leade e in fire nifes place like its mad max

they are outta ammo and bring guns to scare em and loo tough as sun tsu sez, look weak when you are strong and strong when you are weak

they want ampuree fiknifr and have until the sun is high or the reds take em but army guy sees the red has his sons gun and wigs out

army guy is broken from his son going to h=ll and wants to give em fire knif and hater has a gun and didn't use any of its bullets and is gonna give em fie knifr and takes main guys gold so he sees his woman was a 5kank and only goes for who has more money like a rapper

hater goes for fire knife ampte criscimized mouth and he wont go and he cant kill him cuz the reds want him alive

so hater ditches em and blonde and takes the gold but clean hero sez the bags were full of dirt and e'd be back

he dumps the blonde as she's a 5kank and leaves her to go commit seppuku in the back

clean talks with crusty and gives him a hat rental for 1000$ and crusty goes out to get water

crusty whos a bit of comic relief so you could call hm Krusty the Clown, goes out fo water and hdes and hater returns but is grabbed by army guy and disarmed and thrown in a chair as blonde laughs

crusty counts water drops going in the bucket and its over 900

hater yells at army guy for testing guns w/o rounds and main guy yells at hater for being a sleaze

army guy sez h cut open the mail bag and too the court marshall for himself for attacking non combattants and son knew and he was gonn dessert

crusty counts over 1000drops and 2000 and main clean gy thinks rd irish is pretty andshe sez she hopes if theres more Whites like him the treaties can be kept

he ez he didn't need a newspaper and only a story and the reds come and fireknife is out there and gos with em to be vivisected alive by the reds to save em

human sacrifice

crusty comes in with the water and spills it andthey go out on a new adventurewith army gy going back to accept his court marshall

lean gy leave cblonde and hater and they book it together and not with each otherand take the goldbut scruffy an the red irish took it back

he end

that was pretty good

nice b/w and fullscreen

didn't expect the dad to live an the son to get it or the blonde to go bad

the amputee going bac to be tortured dead wasn't expected, but had a tale of 2 cities thing 

didn'r expect the gun runner to live

it was surprizing and the acting was good with the musc and filming well done

i liked it and it holds up

kent was what inspired clark kent with clark gabel

the red man was shown both ways with being merciful to let the people go, but not as they mutolaed the guy dead

its a good movie and only 77 mins but 2 hours with adds on Grit

For Ghost Town 2 I want the reds who took the chief back to be executed use a trick to open a gate to the sasquatch realm and the guys bringing him back try to escape the dimension but one by 1 the get riped apart by sasquatch. Also its a 16 it game on sea genesis, snes, tg16, Atari jaguar and gba where youn play as the sasquatch and gotta take out all the guys in the dimension in a time limit and try to use sasquatch ninja magic like invisibility and teleporting to get em.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

The Dark Crystal Review

 Note: I spell darkly

The Dark Crystal

This is my review on The Dark Crystal from the itant fture year to J R R Tolkei if 1982 (40 years before Soulent Green and Robotech II The Sentinels and that thing in Blade Runner)

Its directed by Jim Henson wjo did Labyrinth and Frank Oz wjo did Dirty Rotten Scoundrels/What About Bob?/The Indian in the Cupboard 

It stars Stephen Garlick and Lisa Maxwell and Michael Kilgarriff and Charles Collingwood and Robby Barnett from nothing I saw, Billie Whitelaw from Mr. Arkadin/The Omen, sodomus Barry Dennen from Fiddler on the Roof/Jesus Christ Superstar/The Shining/Trading Places/Superman III/Titanic/Heavenly Sword/60s Batman/Batman: The Animated Series/Animaniacs/Batman Beyond/non anime Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jerry Nelson from sesame street, Steve Whitmire from Labyrinth/The Witches/The Muppet Show/Sesame Street/The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson/Dinosaurs/30 Rock, Brian Muehl from The Muppet Show/Sesame Street/Eureeka's Castle/Dog City, David Buck from the 70s animated Lor of the Rings, Seán Barrett from labyrinth and cyber cuty oedo 808, Toby Philpott from star wars episode 6 Return of the Jedi/Labyrinth/Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Percy Edwards from The Plague Dogs/labyrinth, Joseph O'Conor from Oliver!  and a buncha guys not on back door, aids bag, Sodom bottom, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, banana cammer, wiener cleaner, cripple nipple, gender offender, wikidia, which gets things wrong often and needed an overmastering

I saw this b4 and loved it, its dark and serious but cean enough for kids, like lord of te rings or don bluth or if star wars was good

after logosand crediys in color and widescreen, we get a nattarrio sayn in another wold and tme, a crystal broke and a piece was lost andso the planet f'd ou

2 races emergs, the skeksiesand mystics and in the castlethe skeksies which ae devolved bird monsters, ruled for 1000 year but theres only 10 left, and they recharge their life withlight from te dark crystal

then ttle and the light goes through triangle symbols forthe ccultists andtheir emperor is biting it so hey need a new one

far away the musticue natural magic andtheres 10 leftand they look like dinocratures and the leader is biting it and they make a humming sound

in the muaticvalley is the last male gelgling called jen and the skeksies iced his fam and hes the chosen one

jen goes to see his master whosez the time of III suns is coming and he's in danger and his times up and the prophecy sez he needs to find the crustal shard to save theworld before the III suns happen or the skeksirs rule forever

he tells to go go ogra or w/e to get the shard(like Kirby 64 the cryatal shards?) and he should have told him sooner

the graphics look great with dat 80s effort and style and in the castl the skeksies, who were said to be of the 7 deadly sins, gaher at the emperorsbed where he looks rotted andtakks like a bad transformer

after biting it and crublbing,we see the mysticfade out and this is a lot like the transformers movie with the clear mirrors of attitude and style of the  rival groups

also the guy fading out as the other bites it was used byDBZ with Kami and Piccol Jr

so en goes off an we see the skeksies, which i thought was the seksies long ago, bickerover whos the new leader and chamberlain grabs therod and this othr guyhas a challenge by syone where these slaves bring up a rock and blades

1 swings a blade on thestone and sparks fly, then the other does it. so the 1st swgs and busts the dark ro andwins so the loser has to paywith thegang taking off his clothes ashe screamsand they banish the chamberlain

he looks gross and devolved, i love it

then the crstal makes sounds and they go to the chamber and on the floor look like zodiac signsin the ring around it

they see a gelfling and fear it as the prphect sez he'd end em sothwy summon big blac bug nstwerto get the gelflig

the chamberlainsees and follows andwe see en going ovr this phantasy thing like they had in things like thing ad Barbarella andstar wars

he wonders whats up and these plant tantaclescatch im andtis dog yokai chicksees it and puts her eye in her head andsez hes like a gelfling but they are dead

he ez hes looking for ogra and the mystics master send him and he wants the crystal shard

she orders the plant tantacles to drop him and they go to a big Astro machine room where she sez it for looking at the sky and astronomy so she knows its comming, the great conjunction where its the end or start of the world

she gives him cryatal shards and he eventally chooses the one that glows and  the black bugs attack so he escapes and the blace goes up in flames as the chamberlain is near nd sees the jen

the myticssense its time to return to the caste and wal across theexpance gradually

in this fantasy forest jen has the sard and don't now wat t do with i but sees a vision in it of something hitting something with a staff

he wanders theplace ripped off by aatar andnot the last airbesnder but the space demon thing andsees a large footprint

he looksin a hole andthis tribble with a mouth umps out and bark and he falls

this female gelflingcomes out and is blonde like Eve in the Bible and speaks a phantasy language and each thought they were the only one

they talk of howtheir familyswere iced and were took in by new families andthy have a memory meldy holding hands

i stops and he's sinking in mud andshe yodels an a catfish thing rises and saves him and her tribledont likebhim

she se the skeksis are watching and they otta go andthen we see the skeksies  eating with podling slaves serving them

it looks so much better to see matter on film than cr-ppy g b0ning our eyes

the black bugs retun and caught urga or w/e the dog yokai was called and she b==chrs at em and sez the gelfling will end their rule

they send out guys to get the gelfling and in a swamp the blonde sings in a boat with jen who plats pipes

she takes out this flying thing the skeksies sent that the see through but it pops out of the water

she takes e to the village the podlings who adpote her are and its ike if star wars was good and they havetheir own language yet she speaks engish  somehow

eventually the black bugs attack and the gelflings book it with her tribble but the bugs catch podlings

i think the chamberlain aide em and they feel for the llage so jen blames the shard and throws it

blonde sees his arm is f'd so she puts moss on it to heal it and they go onward

they lay in an area and hes bummed and talks to hi master wos not there before realizing he's not there

they find they are near ruins and she sez its the place their ancestors lives

she finds the shard and he senses someting andse fears it as the gelflings wo lived there were ied

good shot of the abandoned city wth plants on it like south America or india andthey see imageson the wall hoqung the cystla

she dont know what writing is cuz shes a bonde and he reads it cuz his master taught him and they read a prphphercy  saying gelflings gotta fix the dark crytal

chamberlsin comes in and sez it was a mitake and hes their friend but blonde called kira ez dont trust him hes a matuta

they book it and come acrossthese creatures called land striderson limbs like the guys in mad max fry roa and she knows how to call em with podling tahngs

they both go even though he sez she dont gotta and they bring the tribble which roars like that meme its from

the land striders run fast on long limbs and then we see this h-l fire which reflects the dark crystals light at the podlings that sucks out their souls and makes em zombie slaves like they thought aliens would mae em in that mr rogers ep of Arthur

the new emperor drinks the erssance and its like THEM eating the unborn and other stem cells and he gets younger, een though te past emperor decroded and died

then his hand decroded as bit and emperor goes mental but the scientist sez it always worked and i think when they used gelflings

we see the black bugs carrying podlings across a wasteland andthe gelflings attack em riding on land striders like fire emblem

the gelflings get off and save the dropped poflings and the bugs take out the striders and come for the gelflings as th podlings aren't there anymore

she and him jump off and she uses her wings as shes a chick to float down and through this canyon thing where they see a way in the caslte

holy cr-p we're almost 90 mins in, tht really elt lie nothing, it whiszzzed by

they go through the cavernts and the chamberlain comes in and offers to let em ie together in peace andgrabs at em but they fight back and his hand is cut, which has a mystic to bleed grey green like saint seiya knights of the zoiac dic dub

chamberlain grabs the chick andknocked a ceiling over to crush jen but she sends her tribble to help him

chamberlain brigns her in and the skeksies are scared of her but he offers her to the emperor saying he did it even though he was wounded 

1 wants her iced and another offers to hae theemperor drink he reseence and i think this is why THEY iced im Henson

they take her to remove her essence and emperor gives back chamberlains robes but in the cave tribble digs a bit and gives up on jen

urga is in a cag and her eye is on a table like in the Greek story and they put her in the chair to suck out her soul liek a vaccine and open the gate to move the crystal and beam purple light on her face

jen crals out of the rocks and tells her to gfght andshe hears as they got a bond and urga tells her to call the animals

sh say gaijin words and the muppets in the cages go menal and the science skekises has a light for a right eye

the animals break out and i uess the machine stopped draining her and the animals attak the sciene skeknies unti he bumps bumps the machine off and falls in th file pit to h=ll

after hes iced a mystic vanishes and urga sez its too late and the conjunction is gonna happen when the III suns unite and the seksies ill rule the stars(like the fallen angels?)

so the mystics are comming and jen falls in a put with the black bugs but evades tei attaks til they punch a hole in the walls a55 and into the red h=ll of the pit of fie

he sees te dark crystal above him and climbs and gets to the life drain room where ogra sz theres no time as the great conjunction comes

the mystics come to the castle and the black bgs block em but they hum and the bugs step aside

also the long faces reptile people the mystics are seesms liek  ref to THEM who own things from the dark, plus the magic they use

jen sees the crystal and is higher up and the skeksies walk by as the kira hides adn the effects are so great she loked real

jen sees the  suns with a triangle above and a trigle beloe the crustal andhe has to unite it and man theres a lot of occult refs in here

the skeksies come to surround the  ctystsl and h sees kira on the other side of the ipper room

the skesnies sez they will live forever like jarlic jr andthe tribble stats spazin out which draws their attentionto kira anthe skeskies freak out like someone tld em humans cant be dogs

they see en and the blak bugs come for him so he jumps on the crystal but drops the dshard

the tribble bites the skensies who grabs it buttrible bites  im so he thtos it in the fire put

kira bgrabs the shard and fights off the skeskies but when jen sez to gve em it and live she sez no and throws it to jen and gets shanked

the suns alighn and jen shanks the shard in the crustal andi turns white from putole andjen is is blown to the ground

the bugs and castle crumble and the myrtiscs come in and the catle falling is lik the dragon all movie pricess in the devils csle 

urga finds trible hanging on a thing in the shaft pt o file and saves him as they cant kill pets but people are ok

jen holds the ira and the light on the crystal pulls the skeksies and mystics together intoa fusion of otherworldly beings

one of em sez the prophecy is fulfilled and they are on again and lon ago in their arrogance and delisun they shattered the pue crystal and it broke the wolrd but he saves em and restored the true crystal power

they say shes part of hima s we are part of each other and revive him i mean her and leave with the cyrsital of truth being their to make the world part of its liht, like how the trust missing a pice becomrs a black ie

they go up the trianle hole and the land is healed like with raoh in hokuto no ken and the caste is a crystal astle of white gem

then credits towonderful music that we need more of

the end

that was great

it has really good flow and doesn't feel long at all with no drag

it holds interest and the scenary and characters are all great

the effects work so well and the story is dark but clean so kids can watch it and adults can enjoy it

its said to be like the Brothers Grimm to try to have fear but in a safe way as kids need to learn how to ddeal with it instead of censoring it andv making it bland

the music was great and the acting fit

its like if Star Wars was good

Its a solid film and the puppets look far more real than anything cg has done

and jim hhenson went on to to Ninja Turtles and Farscape withch both looksed amazing

For The Dark Crystal 2 I want it to be years later and the last Gelflings have repopulated their kind and started a kingdom and we see flash backs of them doing so and dealing with Neo skeksies who miss the old order and try to start a pseudo skesis kindo and take back the crystal. Also its a 128 bit  Harvest Moon like game on Dreamcast, GameCube, xbox and pa2 where you pla as Jen and deal wth Kira swelling up pregnant and you and your podling people refurbish the Gelfling city while using the Cryztal to do things like healing or giving life to earth to ake dirtmen to byuild things.

Saturday, January 25, 2025

Mazinkaiser Vs The Great General of Darkness‏‎ Review

 Note: I spell like zee kaiser

Mazinkaiser Vs The Great General of Darkness‏‎

This is my review on Mazinkaiser Vs The Great General of Darkness‏‎ from the distant future year to Benkei Musashibo of 2003(20 years before Robotech II The Sebtinels)

Its directed by Masahiko Murata who did a few MazinKaiseroavs/ eps of Naruto/an ep of Power Stone

It has voices in Japan and a dub by Discotek but Im watching it subbe

So Mazinger Z was by Go Nagai then we got Great Mazinger and Grendizer, but in the Super Robot Wars or w/e they wanted an upgrade to Mazinger Z to compete with higher level guys for Koji, so they said "It evolved with Getter Rays and made Mazinkaiser, so Go Nagai did the series Mazinkaiser as a sequel kinda to Mazinger Z and Great Mazinger, but ignored Grendizer, but its kind of its own things as Dr H is around in the oav but Great Mazinger is around and they fight the mykene in this one.

I saw this before and its pretty cool with great action and music and animation

It starts with a map of the world but makes it look round and not flat for some reason and places all over it are blowing like cities getting nuked. hay they got china, good, moero maruta!

Archduke Gorgon calls out or Koji Kabuto and then we see Sayaka and Koji in a plane by Dr Morimori who isn't sure the plane can make it to Japan as its ow on fuel

Lori and Loru are flying with em in the meh Million Alpha and Morimori is called to the cockpit to see theres black clouds and he tell the pilots not to enter em, as once you go black, your dead!

the plane tries to evade but the cloud fires missiles that blow near the plane and the cloud bursts apart to reveal a big a55 Beyblade looking skybase like  that Metal Masters cr-p that made no sense

General Birdler‏‎ is riding it like its an anime and sends flying monsters to send Koji to h=ll but Million Alpha wastes em  by crushing 2 with its hands and a magnetic beam from under the face for a third, then splits a 4th in half with its arms

Lori and Loru tell the heroes to get to Japan as Mazinkaiser and Koji are the last hope for humanity and fights on knowing they can't survive lie true Japanese warriors like in WW2 against the soviets and gaijin and maruta.

General Birdler‏‎ grabs Million Alpha from behind and crushes its t-ts that the girls are piloting from while biting off pieces of it

Koji sez to save em but Morimori sez its a cargo plane and unarmed, like in the Bible how the Savior said "If you have no sword, sell your cloak and buy one" or like how candya55 England has unarmed cops

General Birdler‏‎ crushed in Lori's cockpit t-t and Loru's after but she's not fully dead and hit a button before being finally crushed to goo so Million Alpha rockets towards the skybase and blows General Birdler‏‎ and his guys back to h e double England

Koji feels for the curvy blondes getting it and punches the wall with a hand bleed like Jiro Shutendo in Shutendoji OVA 1 and vows to beat the Mycenae Empire‏‎

Then title as this church like song plays of The Kaiser as opening credits play and we see Warrior Beasts busting up places, including a monorail like in the opening to CB Chara Go Nagai World

The song got more rock and we see Tetsuya Tsurugi Great Mazinger losing to a Warrior Beasts but melts with buresto burrn and using thunder break to waste another but theres more after him in a swarm

If the Mycenae Empire‏‎ is so damaging with all their forces at once, if they did that in the 70s anime they might've won instead of sending 1 monster at a time like Power Rangers.

In Egypt Shun Azuma in Baion Beta uses a Rust Hurricane on a Warrior Beast to no effect, while Masao Ooide in Daion Gamma uses Brest Fire on 2 monsters by the great wall and does diddley d0ng

Jun Hono in Venus A fights but is strangled by this long white haired monster and thinks how the Mazinger Army can't stop the Mycenae Empire‏‎ if 2 of em are this hard

On the plane the captain's head by splattered after a landing w/o wings hard and they come across a base and go in to find its the army of the European union(so its the bad guys?) who were beat by the Mycenae Empire‏‎

Koji sent signals but the enemy used jamming waves and Koji explains in flashback he, Sayaka and Morimori were vacationing in candy a55 France and Million Alpha flown by Lori and Loru is going around by the ground and the arc de triumph

Koji eats a lot at a restaurant and Lori and Loru are in skimpy dresses that show off their b00bs and the 3 chicks are amazed at his pig out.

Koji wants to have Mazinkaiser in a mock battle but Sayaka sez her dad sed to rest and relax on a business trip but Koji sez he's hungry cuz he feels like its a vacation and Sayaka's amazed he's still hungry after that stuffing.

Then the power goes and people freak out of a monster with Chilled Tofu or w/e Go Nagai calls his insert by pictures of Paul Tamamoto from Cutey Honey and UFO Robo Grendizer and Koyayashi and Kogoro Iboji

The Great General Of Darkness appears over the city and sez the 7 armies the Mycenae Empire‏‎ awoke to wipe out humans civilization, claims the Earth for his side, and summons his generals who nuke the France like we always wanted(Maybe they ain't so bad)

Koji sez they escaped Paris but were ambushed over the North Pole(Isn't that where Groizer-X had stuff happen?) and the blonde commander asks what are the Mycenae Empire

Morimori sez Juzo Kabuto left a hint in his diary like that WW2 guy in the south pole about the beings within it, saying they made an empire on Bardos Island but vanished underground for no reason and wanted to invade again for years(Like Getter Robo? Or Devilman?)

blonde commander never knew they were this tough and Morimori sees the map of the attacks and goes in a hidden room in the base

This jet piloted by Naojiro Abashiri from Abashiri Family is gonna bring em to the Photon Power Lab but they hear gunfire and Archduke Gorgon is wasting guys with his tiger body that is probably what kaiserneko phantsizes of being.

he leaps to ice Koji but is nailed by bazooka's, while taking no visible damage and blonde commander sez Koji has to return to Japan

Koji and Sayaka get to the jet as Blonde Commander is chewed dead by Goagon and Sayaka calls for Morimori to get to the jet

Gorgon took out the Eurotrash but General Ligern‏‎ sows up and wants payback for what happened to him and his soldiers

The base starts blowing and Morimori is still in the secret room but when Gorgon mouths off to Ligern he gets the backhand like a homie and a h==ker

Morimori tells Koji t get to Mazinkaiser before its too late or Lori and Lori will have bit it in vain and after waiting a while, Koji accepts this begrudgingly and Naojiro starts the jet(like Moromori could make it past all those monsters with the jet there and they'd all live)

The monsters chase the jet but Morimori launches missiles and sez to try mans stoopidest invention as Gorgon and Ligern get iced by em

Morimori sez to give his regards to Sewashi and Nossori and gets blown out with the base as Koji is shocked

In Egypt Shun Azuma in Baion Beta gets both their heads removed by a spinning fire wheel kinda like that yokai thrown by General Julicaesar‏‎

in china Masao Ooide in Daion Gamma gets roasted by General Draydo‏‎

In soviet Australia General Hadias chops up Venus A but Jun survives cuz shes a main character, jk Go Nagai kills those all the time, Really the Pilder falls out and she lucked out as it only tore open her skin tight outfit an a bit of a cut between her t-ts

She crys for her robot getting busted  but in I think new York, yeah its there, General Angoras‏‎ and General Scarabeth‏‎ bust up Tetsuya in Great Mazinger.

He uses Thunder Break on Scarabeth but it does nothing and he wraps up G M in web despite being a scarab and not a spider, then Angoras‏‎ nails him into a building

He free of the web from the impact and uses Great Boomerang which Angoras‏‎ dodges then Great Typhoon which is as useful as t-ts on a man, and Great Mazinger f==ks out and barfs roboblood

they mock him and go in for the kill but the Great Boomerang returns as they do and rips through em like a katana on a thief

i guess they never knew what a boomerang is and G M finishes em with breast burn, only to f==k out from damage, but Tetsuya is alive and begs it to move

Koji and the jet get to Japan and its f'd like after the evil allies attacked in the 40s

Naojiro sez he'd contact Tetsuya and the others soon and flies off leaving Koji and Sayaka in a f==ked out H=llscape like Violence Jack

Koji gets a motorcycle but its outta gas so they meet Rikki Muso from Shutendoji and Violence Jack who's a trucker and gives em a lift

she sez everyones hiding in the countryside and she sees  if they're gonna wipe out the humans, there's no safe place to hide and has to get em to the lab(What was she doing out? Did she know they'd be there?)

they stop at a gas statin and buy food by leaving what they think it costs on the counter but Sayaya and Rikki see a radio and check for transmissions

they hear the photon lab in Mt Fuji was destroyed by monsters with no survivors and Sayaka freaks out and runs and rides the motorcycle to try to do something about her dad which won't be much as the high tech lab got f'd by monsters and she don't got Aphrodite nor Diana.

Rikki drives Koji to get her from her woman freak out and the sun is coming up when she nears and sees the fd out lab and stops

a blade comes down and blows her bike and knocks her out as Koji and Rikki arrive and Archduke Gorgon is here an f'd up and wants to do his mission to end Koji

Koji dumba555edly charges to punch the guy who tanks missiles and bazookas and is grabbed by the throat but Rikki swings a pipe which bends on Gorgons arm and he slugs her out

Gorgon squeezes Koji's neck, which should snap it or crush his windpipe, but I guess he didn't end hi instantly as he want him to suffer

Then a chain by Boss Borot gets Gorgon by the neck and pulls him off with Boss, Mucha and Nuke in it

Gorgon sez they blew the lab but Boss sez its an illusion to hide it and everypnes alive

Rikki wakes up to see Boss slamming Gorgon in the ground then into a gas station and it blows and no shrapnel gets Koji or anyone else there

Sayaka wakes up and Gorgons still not dead cuz he's like Chucky and announces his attack from the fire but as he leaps, Boss throws Koji a raygun and he ends Gorgon through both heads and blasts away til he's in the fire

Gorgon sez the Great General that Koji and Mazinkaizer still exist and burns up in the gas station fire

General hears and tells is generals t take it out and sends the Invincible Demonica Stronghold base from the sea to the air

Bos sez they new Koji would arrive and Koji thinks of his droogs who bit it and gives Sayaka to Boss to defend.

Boss vows to get the Mycenae in a flashback and in the now they get to the lab and its a hole in the earths a55between them and the lab

Boss sez Mazinkaise was send away for modifications and they didn't tell him cuz he was on vacation

Then all these monsters pop outta the ground to end em and Boss reveals the Pilder is in Boss Borot(So is it pregnant with the pilder?)

the monsters attack Boss Boot and he runs as it opens and comes out Borots chest like the crotch monster in Alien

This goth looking monster kinda Cenobite looking is chained by Borot in the neck to stop it from getting Koji but Draydo and General Julicaesar‏‎ attack in the sky

k I looked it up and the Cenobite guy is Dante and he slices the chain off with an energy ring in is hand and slices up Boss Borot like Rei in Hokuto No Ken

Goku I mean Koji goes by water and an aquatic Warrior Beast attacks but he evades the Hadias attacks and he dodges that too

Koji wonders what to do and wheres the Kaiser but Prof Yumi calls him and sez fly in the sky to get the Kaiser which he does

the lab launches Mazinkaiser from space on an orbiting station like Robotech and with the speed of reentry and Koji soaring up high, the impact otta kill Koji like being hit by a meteor

A light beam comes from the Kaizer to guide him and Yumi tells Goki I mean Koji to use it and they link up in a burst of energy and nails the ground melting Warrior Beasts

Everyone thinks Koji died but he wastes the guys with Turbo Smasher Punch and ends Dante with Koshiryoku Beam a he burns away

The Mazinkaiser song Mazin Kendan plays as Yumi sez they made a new super alloy in space that made Mazinkaiser stronger than anything

Koji sez he wont forgive them for icing people and takes out Julicaesar with a Rust Tornado that erodes a carving in t Fuji(Isnt that sacred to the Nipponjn?)

Then a Glacier beam that freezes Hadias and shatters him

Draydo flues off and Kji calls the Kaiser Scrander from some unknown area and links up to chase hi like in Transformers Zone where Dai Atlas and Sonic Bommer nukes the Deception Mashogun and Predaking fled, only to be cleaved in 2 by the Zone Powered Cutter

Draydo tells the Great General he's in trouble and tries blasting fire on Mazinkaiser who survived Reentry and an impact that melted warrior Beasts, but as expected it does jack sh-t better known as jack black, as Koji used a Fire Blaster to outfire his fire and only singe him

he flees amazed the 7 general were wiped out so easy, wait, 7 generals? like the Rainbow Crystals in Sailor Moon? and Demonica comes down and plows through him, into Mazinkiaser and tries crushing him into Mt Fuji

The General of Darkness on the base and admits Koji is strong but he's not giving up and is gonna try crushing him

Koji lifts the back and forces it back with Kaiser's power and General Darko rockets off as Koji throws the Scrander like a boomerang and cleaves through the Demonica like butter before it blows

In Space they watch the fight and Shiro is amazed as Yumi sez its invincible and can surpass god and demons(Don't say that! Now both will come for ya!)

Koji faces the Dark General and sez he'd stop him so Dark pulls a blade and Koji pulls Kaiser Blades out mazinkaisers shoulders and attacks

Dark knocks him back and charges so Koji uses Koshiryoku Beam that General counters with his own eye lasers and blows for no reason after having a beam struggle

Koji uses Fire Blaster but its blocked by a cape like Superman and General beats on Mazinkaisr with a big a55 blade

Koji's pinner and holding off the sword with his 2 blades but hears his dead friends voices encouraging him and he uses a turbo smasher punch to send all the blades in the air, then burns out Darko's eyes with a Koshiryoku beam

The arms return and he throws away the swords and beats on him with Kaiser Knuckl with a punch for Lori and Loru and Morimori that brings darko to his knees, amazed at the unlimited power of Mazinkaiser

Koji Turbo Smasher Punches off the generals top head and sends him flying in te hole in the earths a55, amazed he was knocked down and if this is the end of the Mycenae Empire‏‎'s ambitions, before the blade that was in the air comes dow and gets him in the center of the face.

Shiro, Sewashi and Nossori celebrate in space, Boss, Mucha and Nuke celebrate on Earth and Rikki holds Sayaka who's away and they didn't want Boss b0ning her so Rikki looked after her.

Koji fires Koshiryoku Beams in the air for no reason and sez he avenged his friends

Then credits to a soft song with Piano that sounds like queen and clips of the survivors and we see Ju carried by Tetsuya in his Pilder and the ruined robots Great Mazinger and Venus, and them having graves forMorimori, Loru ad Lori

Mazinkaiser carry's Great and Venus back, Boss Borot fixes the damage to Mt Fuji with I think that Robot Shiro uses, Robot Junior(Like Garlic Jr and Cell Jr?) then a peaceful shot of Mt Fuji and the lab.

The end

That was great

good action and music and the animation fit well

good violence but not too graphi, just blood and pieces flying

Mazinkaiser don't show up til the end but it works and its an adventure where he gets to it and tries to survive

It shows how deadly the enemy is if they sent their whole force at once and overwhelmed the heroes

the Japanese acting is good and its cool to see the enemy get it after dominating the good guys the whole time by the overpowered hero

So if the fists did that much damage, he could have done that from the start and beat him? Or did the sword the General used mean he might chop the arms?

is under an hour and tells a good story with good characters and good action

glad I saw this

For Mazinkaiser Vs The Great General of Darkness‏‎ 2 I want the emperor of Darkness to rise up and take on Mazinkaiser bt after he beats him, the other Greek gods coe for him as Proffessor Yumi said its more than gods and demons. Also its a 16 bit fighting game where you play as Mazinkaiser or other Go Nagai Robots and fight these demon gods and pagan gods and plays likr Street Fighter. Its on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA.

Friday, January 24, 2025

Along Came Jones Review

Note: I spel long like a d0ng

Along Came Jones

This is my review on Along Came Jones from the distant future year to openly bada55 Andrew Jackson of 1945(60 years before Transformers The Movie)

Its directed by Stuart Heisler who did Tulsa

It stars Gary Cooper from The Eagle/the 20s Ben-Hur/Wings/The Texan/A Farewell to Arms/Alice in Wonderland/Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/Sergeant York/For Whom the Bell Tolls/The Westerner, The Good Catholic Loretta Young from The Sheik/augh, Clown, Laugh/he Hatchet Man, William Demarest from The Jazz Singer/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World/60s The Twilight Zone,Dan Duryea from Scarlet Street, Sal Mineo from Rebel Without a Cause/Giant/Exodus/The Greatest Story Ever Told/Escape from the Planet of the Apes/Stranger On The Run/Tagart, Frank Sully frm Fury/Captains Courageous/The Grapes of Wrath/Yankee Doodle Dandy/The Red Badge of Courage/The Rifleman, Don Costello from nothing I saw, Walter Sande from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/Citizen Kane/Sergeant York/Tortilla Flat/Dark City/Warpath/Red Mountain/Apache/Bad Day at Black Rock, Russell Simpson from The Trail of '98/Abraham Lincoln/San Francisco/Valley of the Giants/The Grapes of Wrath/the 40s A Boy and His Dog/Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Arthur Loft from Scarlet Street, Willard Robertson from Doctor X/I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang/The Last of the Mohicans/Jesse James/The Ox-Bow Incident/My Favorite Brunette, Ray Teal from Sergeant York/The North Star/Captain Kidd/My Favorite Brunette/The Snake Pit/Samson and Delilah/the 1950 No Way Out/Along the Great Divide/Ace in the Hole/The Indian Fighter/The Guns of Fort Petticoat/Inherit the Wind/One-Eyed Jacks/Judgment at Nuremberg/Chisum/Taggart, Lane Chandler fro m the 39 The Man in the Iron Mask, Erville Alderson from America/39 Jesse James/Santa Fe Trail/The Grapes of Wrath/Sergeant York and Hsnk Bell from Abraham Lincoln/the 35 Call of the Wild/Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/The Ox-Bow Incident/Duel in the Sun

i nevr saw this but its based on a book i never rwadUseless Cowboy by Alan Le May ho did unforgiven and the searchers

also its produced by gary cooper

afte title and credits to fullscreen b/w of a cart puled by horses, these guys cap em, the cart breaks away and he caps a guy on the cart, only to be capped by a survivor and drop an itenm saying monte jarrad

they put out a wanted posted for him and then we see cooper and a geezer on horseback andthey come to realize they went the wrong way

they stop by a town and 1 guys intials are mj and they think its monte and fear him

loretta young is there and the chick of this movie and cooperfollorws her to a saloon cuz he wants to b0ne her and guys comment on her looking hot so cooper slugs him for being hetero

the hetero is gonna kick his candy a55 but sees the mj on his thing and backs off and cooper sez dont remark other mens girls

he goes inthe saloon and the Mexico in there is afraid of him and gives hi canned peaches or w/e as his geezer drinks booze

he goes around and everyone steers lear as a deer withn a queer in its read and gives advice to a guy to be more strong and bada55 and when he goes in they fear him and the guy he helped tells him off for something and sez hes not a gunfghyer

a guysgonna j fk him like harambe but young pretends to be his gf to block the gun and get him out of the way and save him and rides out with him on a cart with wheels and guys on horses a55es

she explains outof town hes mistaken for monte jarrad and hes melody jones (melody is a girls name ie michelle and alexis and Justine and Nicole and evelyn)

they get to a shack with some guys and she tells him to skip town as they wanna lynch him and he sez he did nothing wrong but she has her cousin i mean brother and he goes on his way

she and brother are with the real monte and he's wounded and sez the other guy shot the guy and it wasn't supposed to be a shooting and th other guy was leo and wants to know about the cooper but she sez hes only a cowhand and got the town to thnk he was monte and now they'd hunt cooper and monte is free

monte dont think its real and th guy cant be so stoopid and he is a bit jealous of cooper and sez if she cheets on him he'd blow her belly open with his shot gun

weird as gary cooper wanted to ice his unborn kid and loretta protected hers and went out of her way to be with her

copper on the trail with geezer thinks somethigns up and wants to catch the real monte but s-cked at draing his firearm

his name is melody so i assume hes a hermaphrodite like in Devilman or Mazinger Z or Yugioh GX

in a cool shot of the camer moving around the shed or w/e, we see geezer and cooper snooping as usual around at night and go in for breaking and enterin

young complains to brother about monte changing and used to be fun as a y=kid but is mean no that he go capped and is a wanted man

she goes in her bedroom and sees cooper in there saying the mattress is full of skuls like ortal kimbat and he sez his horse ran off

she offers t get him a new one but he can't leave his horse and sez his partner is in the brush

the yongs dog grouwls at something andn stops and she sez he cn stay in her room in her bed til daylight and dont want him going out at night

woe, we're half an hour in woth adds, that felt like nothing

in daylight copper takes the geezers gun but he knew it was him for 5 mns of hi chmping around and sez to shoot a guy in the right eye to f their aim

geezer goes over the 5 groups that are hunting for monte and will stroing him up

also the real monte wasn't around for a while and cooper didn't trick anyone who knows the real monte and the chick is bad news

he has a letter for monte and wants cooper to use it but chick comes by and whines over being called a skunk as they didn't have 5kank back then and she sez sorry for involving him but he wants to help her

she sez she knew monte since they were kids and helped him when hut and needs help to lead the posse away but don't wanna drag main guy in but cooper sees montes saddle is in the cart with a blanket on it

he agrees to take monte's saddle and ride out for her and sooches her on the mouth with his mouth and he gives her a scarf he won for getting 17th place in gromp stomping w/e that is

she tells the real monte but hes b-=chy over cooper staying in here and suspects she was with him and is jalous

today on springer!!

so cooper goes to town andkicks down a poker table and goes to meet this guy who i think is leo the other shooter wo knowcooper isn't monte butonly III men can equal hm nd 1 is monte

leo i think wants his share and aims his gun under the table and clicks it anfcooper dont know but fakes it  an tries to get him to turn around to look at the glass door behind him

gunmN KNOWS the door is ainted over andthe real leo comes in, i was wrong on whos who, and takes cooper outside as cooper has motes saddle andthinks cooper iced monte

he smokes a faeg and sez when he's done he'd ice the cooper and thinks coopper sho monte in the ack but he explains the girl game him the saddle an monte lives

leos gonna ice him but young gets him at gunpoint and srnds him out in the desert with a guy to dite=ch him there to probably die

cooper goes with young who sez monte would kill if someone did what she did to cooper to monte and cooper sez monte dont get women

they grow closer andshe wants him to give ack monte's stolen money  bit they gotta wait til monte is gone

he wants to giove back the money now, she sez he cant cuz he promised, he sez he didn't promise, so she has him promise

they go to get the mney ut a guy in the shadows gets him at gunpoint and wants to gibe cooper to him but cooper sez hesnot monte

shadow gy sez this is monte's hideout and girl and he looks lie him

the cooper and young talk in a closet and not play 7 intes in heaven andhe wants to give the money

they coe out and he sez he dont now where it is but she sez where it is an he gets it and gets capped by someone ouyside

his parter comes in and the one who capped him and wai it wasn't and they argie a bit and think its del monte

they are in a cabin with maniacs after em? its birth of a nation

chick and geezer berry the body as cooper goes oyt but these guys in a posse go in and catch em

cooper returns and they take his gun and heoffers to gie em te money and geezer maes sounds til he gets beat out

he changes his ind and knocks out the calde z dhides behind the door so the guys shoot each other and run out thinking hes out there

he dint get away and staye as he didn't grab her in time and these guys come back to beat the info outta him and he holds out til they 2 on 1 him

head of the posse looks around for the money but finds the body and when the guys look, chick/cooper escape and lock em in the place

cooper gets to this place and monte is around arriving neart and gets him at unpojt where hes too far from a gun and its too lat to throw a can of soup or w/e

monte makes cooper undress and gets his cloth4s nd is gonna blow his head off to fake his death as cooper dont got a scar

cooper shows some smarts and screws with his head aboutn if he b0ned the chick and or not and if hes dead then he cant tell

he mokcs monte about being a loser and chick comes in and monte lets him go out and she asks why he iced the shado guy and monte sez he got in my way

she horrified monte as gonna ice cooper and fake hs death and partner is shot somehow and did i miss a scene? andhe givs cooper a gun

these groups come for monte and chick ditches hi for cooper and geezer is wounded and monte cant ride a horse with the side wound anda gunfight breaks out

coopr shoots to make a guy nervous to not shoot straight and hides geezer beind a wall of bags of items and we get a death scene where geezer talks about wanting to be someone and cooper talks of how she likes monte

1 guy is capped in the right eye like he mentioned but i think he bites it and got to h e double soviet england and ggeezer bites it

thn monte and cooper have a stand off and monte puts a few bullets in cooper but b4 he finished him, chici gets a headshot on monte and ens him thrn crys and geezer isn't dead 

in the real version his head blew apart like a water mellow ful of fireworks

so later cooper is coming out of jail with bandages and gives whats left of his reward for icing monte to geezer after paying for medical and room and board and other thing

cooper knows she capped monte and thinks she aimed at him and accidentally hit monte and leaves so she shoots accurately at a thing in his hand and the top of his hat and shows she has perfect aim like lilian gish or sheena etranzi

he decides hes not gonna b a sherrif and is gonna work for her on the ranch and goes back in and smooches her and they smooch

the end

that was petty good

pretty lite and fun but cool

cooper plays a nice guy who gets through but can be pretty bada55

the chick is a good woman by the wonderful Loretta Young

the bad guy mnte was well done and Dan Duyra did well as a cranky crotchety dude

the music and filming is good and a lot is guys on fake horses with rear projection of background going on

its a decent filma nd has some light and charm but isn't too harsh, though theres a little darkness

and cooper isn't a dumba55, only a nice guy, like gomer pyle

glad i saw this one, it holds up

For Along Came Jones 2 I want them to be living o the ranch and ufos come and start mutilating cattle, so he gets a priest to bless armor and guns and bullets to take on the sky daemons who come for em. also its a 16 bit beat em up ike alien storm but with 1800s guys on sega genesis, snes, tg16, Atari jaguar and gba where you play as the guy or the chick and fight sky darmons and their flesh based bio armor and mechs that rupture in orange an blue slime.

Sunday, January 19, 2025

Labyrinth Review

 Note: I spell mazed

Labyrinth

This is my review on Labyrinth from the distant future year of 1986(40 years before Transformers Zone)

Its directal by Jim Henson who did The Dark Crystal

It stars back door David Bowie from The Last Temptation of Christ/The Hunger/Zoolander, openly he broo Jennifer Connelly from A Beautiful Mind/Hulk/Blood Diamond/The Day the Earth Stood Still reboot/9/Alita: Battle Angel, openly brittish Toby Froud from 00s King Kong/ParaNorman/Kubo and the Two Strings, opebly Canadian Christopher Malcolm from star wars episode 5 The Empire Strikes Back/The Dogs of War/Superman III/Highlander, Mia Sara's man Brian Henson from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1/The Witches/The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland/Dinosaurs/Dog City/Bear in the Big Blue House/Farscape/Sid the Science Kid/Dinosaur Train, David Shaughnessy from Big Hero 6/Peter Pan and the Pirates/Robot Chicken/Star Wars Rebels/Star Wars Resistance, Christian Timothy Bateson from The Evil of Frankenstein/Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Michael Hordern from 1951 Scrooge/1963 Cleopatra/1965 Genghis Khan/The Taming of the Shrew/Watership Down/Gandhi, Anthony Jackson from 2001: A Space Odyssey/The World of Peter Rabbit and Friends/Watership Down the cartoon, Douglas Blackwell from the gay a55 uk dub ofv Wicked City, David Healy(like big be healy from problem child?) from Patton/Phase IV/The Ninth Configuration, Robert Beatty from Captain Horatio Hornblower R.N./2001: A Space Odyssey/Superman III/Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, ex hetero Kevin Clash from Captain Kangaroo/Sesame Street/The Cosby Show/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze/Dinosaurs/Dog City/Elmo's World/The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland/The West Wing, Danny John-Jules from Blade II/Red Dwarf/Chop Socky Chooks(is that a slurr?)/Bob the Builder, Percy Edwards from The Plague Dogs/The Dark Crystal, Seán Barrett from the dark crystal and cyber cuty oedo 808, John Bluthal from Superman III/The Fifth Element, Enn Reitel from Corpse Bride/The Adventures of Tintin/The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause/American Dad!/Barney/Batman: The Brave and the Bold/Boston Legal/Family Guy/Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H./Mr. Bean: The Animated Series/Phineas and Ferb/2006 The Da Vinci Code/2010 Clash of the Titans, Kerry Shale from Superman IV: The Quest for Peace/The Jacket/Universal Soldier: Regeneration/Thomas & Friends and a bunch not on back door, candy a55, aids bag, banana crammer, frooty booty, quewr as a deer with a steer in its rear, sodom bottom, cripple nipple, gender offender hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants Wikipedia that lies and wants your money,

I saw this b4 years ago but dont recall much

ew its super widescreen but the tristar logo is cool

Lucasfilm and geoege lucandid stuff with it and in the opening we see a cg owl and credits thatlooks cool to 80s musi andthe title

and the screenplay was with tery jones from monty python

so the owl lands in a park and msin chicsays things of fighting to get to the goblin cityto rclaim the child and her will is as srong and kingdom is as great

shes preparing fr a play or somethingbut its time to go and she with her dog runs to 80s music as it rains

she gets hme butthe dog cant come in as its a lower life fornme and mom b--ches at her for being late and her rents got cr-p to do

se gets b--chy and storms to er room andrecites the oblin city lines and pts on make up as dad wants tp talk but shes b==chy an se finds someone took her dool and finds it in her kid brothers room

she gets b==chy and whines and tells a story to her haf brotheraboyt the goblin king loving thing oppressed chick with a wicked step mom and se recites a thing offering the half brother to be devolved into a goblin but stops

her kid half bro crys nd thesepuppetslisten and she offers the kid to the goblin ig butdoesnt say it right but the goblins say it andshe almost sez it but leaves and se he wishes the goblins would get hm

you offered your family to daemons? hat a b==ch! I hope the hulk b0nes her til she blows apart in a spray of pale green goo

the crying stops and she looks in and fnds the id is gone and a owl spazzes at the windowtil it busts in(is this where harry potter got it?)  and David bowie is there and hes the gblin king

she sez she difnt mean it and wants him backb bowire sez fugget abot it and offeroffers her a glass sphere that shows her dreams and does ninja moves with it

she cant ditch her fam, and the ball turns into a snake he throws at her but its a cloth and he sez the baby is in his castle beyond goblin city

they are in a mad max thing and she has 13 hours to solve the labrynth and its a big a55 maze she goes into hinking its not so bad

its ne ver as hard as it seem

she comes across a midet spraying faeries with bug spray but she thinks its bad and picks it up only to be bit

he shows her the ay in the labrynth's a55 and in there it goes on forever as midet sez he wont go either way and if she gets in she'd never get out and she takrs things forgranted

i love how the effects aremade out of matter and on camera instead of green screened on

she gets nowhere and ses hes taking i for granted andgoes on for a bitand see fungus or mss with eyes and a caterpillar she talks towho se shes not looking at it right

its a wall and shes told to walk through it and its an illusion as theres a pathahead a bit and shes tild not to go that way so she goes the other way but it would've lead to the castle

in giblin cty which sounds like a yugoh card theres all thesedevolved puppet peopleand bowiesings as the kidsmiles

i love this, its fun and 80s and takes be backto when movies were good

chic draws on a tile with lipstick not her dipstick and a midetturns it over

bowi sez in 9 hurs the kid is his and sings.

hur ry up go ku, time is run ning out

she reahes a dead end and goe back but sees her mark she just made changed and looks around and finds 2 gate keepers thathave 2 heads each like cards

1 tells lies and 1 tells truth and 1 door is the astle 1 is deathsaurus she does the thing where she asks"what would the other one say" that i never understoopd and goes in and is in a dark room

she mees the faeire killer wo sez shes in a place they put people to forget of em and sez to gie up but she offers him a bracelet to bring her as far as he can and he consents

he puts a door on a wall, pens it andits got a hole then moves it and its light all in 1 take and looks great and impressive

these huge a55 headsin the wall say not to go on and midet sez stfu

bowie comes in and accuses him of helping her but he sez he was leading her to the start and sees the bracelet and might put him in the bog of etrnal stench

bowie advances the time and sez if she thinks its so easy, he summons  drill thingthat chaws emad hey eventually escape through a wallas it goes by with midets on paals to move it

se dont trust him but he sez he sed that to thro bowie off andwhat choice does she got so she goes up a ladders a55 with him

they cme out a vase off the ground and midget is gonna ditch her butshe takes his jewels to have him tell the way but midget sez its not air and she sees thats how she said too much

they meet a geezer with a bird on his head wo sez i seems like they aint getting anywhere but are

sh gives him qa ring and the midgt/chick go off through a hdge maze like te shuning i mean sgining i mean shining

they hear a soubnd andmidget books it butshe has b--lls andsees a big sasquatch thing tortured by midgets and a rock comes by her

sh throws it at em and they bump each other til they run away like frenchies

lets him downand he looks like something outta the misadventures of flink on sega genesis

like dogs, the small ones are c=c suckers and the big ones are friendly and he likes her and  they see 2 doors wi door knockers on em that talk like in mickey's Christmas carol

she takes the ring out of the muth of 1 and the other has a ring through the ears and can't hear

the faces move fluid and well and liek lesh but loom bronze

she tricks the door to open its mouth by pinching its nose lik some amputee thing and knocks to open it

they go i this woods and sasquatch is scard like the wizard of oz and theres other refs like the 1st guy saying dont go that way and the caterpillar is like alice in wonderland

midget hears chick talking an goes to her but meets bowie who thinks hes gonna help her and he sez hes gonnatake her to the start

bowie gives her an item to give her and sez she wouldn't like a devolved thing like him and he might send him to the stinklands(the third world??!!)

chick looks for sasqusth gu and these bird gremlins come out and dance in front of a green screen to a son

man we're an hour in, taT felt like nthing

they fall apart and reassemble with eyes falling out and heads coming off and a leg hops off

thy wanna remove her head like shes a rabid dog andshe throws their heads and runs off but they chase her like a colored king kong in 33

she gets away czmidget throw a rope to her and she climbsa wall but they fall through a trap dustchute and nearly fall in the bo of eternal stench that poots

he denies liking her or being a friend and they fall onto sasquathwo sits on midget and this went princess bride with a small guy, big guy and human sized one

they try to cross on a bridge as if you step in it you stunk forever but meet a furry who is noseblind to it and might like befouled thinfs

he hits the guys with a stick but sasqyatch fgts him with a log and impresses furry with his power and earns his respect

robotech/vlron: rated R forall the shower scenes! Claudia: lisa! Do you HAVVE to take so many shows? Lisa: I HA VE to! I gt the alien stink on me! midet: If you touch it, you stink forever!

she crosses abride but it f==ks out like its maede in china andis on these rocks but therocks rose u from the swamp and let em pass

wont the srynk from it be on the rcks as its still wet?

frry ridrs a dog over the rocks and midet is gonna throw the item in te swamp but bowie sez no and he don't wanna give it to the chick

bowie watches em on a glass sphere and sez she'd forget when she gets the item

midet gives her an appleor pea and she bites it andnot ces it tastes strange and he sez the D word at bowie and himself

oh he ave her drugs!!

bowie plays with glass spheres ad sends some out that have mage of her as a princess in em

the furry and sasqutch find the caslte and in a bibble see a masqued ball and chik ina dress with big hair like austia andmasked guys in phaIIic makss and its like yokai

bowie dances with heras 80s music plays but things get weird and she throws a chair in a wall and breaks out o the phantasy like its cutey honey with sister jills magic illusion

she winds up in a dump and midget is bummed he f'd up his only friend

he pulls ou a knife and holds it t his belly and says"Nippon Ichi!" and cuts himself ipen

jk really she meets a hag and dont recall what shes looking for and she wakes up in her room thinking its a dream

she opens the door and hag omes in and she reads the labrunth book and remembers she needs to save the kid and sez her toys are junka nd busts the dimension like the boory boyn in that Disney chow they blocked the ep of

furry and sasquatch are there and they are outside the goblic city and they go in yt there s ahge metal monster with an ax and the doors close and spikes come out

they evae its slo blade and midet comes in and kicks oits head off so theres midgets in it piloting it like getter robo

he beats em out and commandeers it and f's with the controls and it busts

he jumps and falls andsez sorry for tricking her and she forgives him and furry sez hes brave and chick returns his things

a midget looking like date masamun sez the chick is back and bowi hides the baby

in the goblinton these soliers attak and fire a cannon that blows their homes andrun around aimlessly ad the heroes get by

furrythinks hes hot sh-t and aces a bucnha goblins then jousts 1 riding a reptile bird and wins but falls after and the dog runs off

the trio gets in a house by sasqyatch pulling the wall off and goin in and coming out the roof  as the chick fights off enemies attacking in the hosu like its birth of a nation

furry si caught by gaurds and offers them a chane to surrentder and sasquatch roars and ll these rocks roll in andf up the goblics

is this a thing on the ussr and soviets with the chick beign an Ameican and the yokai being slavs an other oppressed teaming up to stop em?

plus the rocks could be like the church as Jesus said "This is the Rock to build it on"

they get in the castle and its almost 13 hour and she ants to go on her own buteasts time thanking em and goes up the stairs lie ro9nhood men in tights

she getsto an m c escher area of various upside dowb and up stairs and doors and bowie sows up at various angles and throws a sphere as he sings

its distortion world with gitatina in Pokémon Platinum!

she wanders around afte the kidand theres grea camera work and as hesgonna fall in a hole she jumps and the area comes apart

bowiesez he was generous but can be cruel andsez he only did what she asked and f'd space and time for her

se sez the line she keeps aying about fighting to the goblin city and he shuts her up and offer her a sphere andanything she wants btshe goes on about the lines but forgets

he offers tobe her slave bt she sez he has no power on her and he throws the sphere and itturns back to her home as the owl flies out and it turns miknight

she chex her bro and hes ok and lets him have her doll in his room

but then he pulsats and ruptures and all this red goey mush is there as she screams

jk reall she goes to her room and her rents come hme and she seethe muppets in the mirrir who helped herand say if she needs em they'd hep her

then she sez she needs em and the are in her room an all the puppets from b4 are there an they dance and party as the owl outside flies off to the moon

then credits to that 80s song

the end

that was grand

wonfrful effects and puypets

grwat story

nice 80s music

the colors were duller but alive

its a great 80s film

it draws from the wizard of oz, and alice in wonderland and while it didn't nail the box office, its got countless fans who grew up with it

it looks more real and good than mot movies tha greenscreen or high def it

jim Henson did great on this and its like his last movie he directed but it holds up

It has good flow and don't dra and goes by at a nice pace and don't feel over 100 mins

For Labyrinth 2 I want bowie to come after another teen and the chick from the 1st movie senses bowie and faces him. Also the Labyrinth is different and is an arena of chaos so it assumes new forms and the goblins have devolved into bugoblins ith extra limbs and wings and stingers and there's a new crew of puppets that have different abilities. And its a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, sns, tg16, Atari aguar and gba with 6 playable characters, 2 chicks, and 4 monsters and they hve different abilities and fight the various gopblis and bugoblins.

Friday, January 17, 2025

The Last Bandit Review

 Note: I spell like I record off Banduicam

The Last Bandit

This is mt review on The Last Bandit from the distant future year to Tojo of 1949(50 years before the sdf-1 ended the global civil war in Robotech)

Its directed by Joseph Kane who did nothing i saw

it stars Wild Bill Elliott aka billy eliot from the Red Ryder things, Lorna Gray from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Forrest Tucker from The Yearling/Chisum/Fort Massacre, Andy Devine from the 20s Noah's Ark\30s Romeo and Juliet\30s A Star Is Born\30s Stagecoach\The Red Badge of Courage\the 50s Around the World in 80 Days\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\How the West Was Won\It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World\The ballad of Josie\the 73 Robin Hood\60s The Twilight Zone\60s Batman/Myra Breckenridge, Jack Holt from Black Moon/San Francisco/Cat People, Minna Gombell from the 39 The Hunchback of Notre Dame/The Snake Pit, Grant Withers from nothing I saw, Virginia Brissac from the 39 Jesse James/The Snake Pit/Rebel Without a Cause, Possible Pole Stanley Andrews from Mr. Deeds Goes to Town/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington/Kit Carson/The Westerner/The Son of Monte Cristo/The Ox-Bow Incident/It's a Wonderful Life/the 49 Samson and Delilah, Martin Garralaga from Casablanca/The Outlaw/For Whom the Bell Tolls/Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla/The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Joseph Crehan from The Big Sleep/Deadline - U.S.A./Judgment at Nuremberg, Charles Brown Middleton (Charlie Brown?) from The Hatchet Man/I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang/the 33 The Three Musketeers/Duck Soup/The Good Earth/39 Jesse James/Gone with the Wind/The Grapes of Wrath/Santa Fe Trail/Sergeant York, and some guys not on back door, candy a55, beta male, aids bag, soy boy, banana crammer, cripple nipple, Sodom bottom, queer as a deer with a steer in his rear, hippie stoer vegan peta tree kung fu based on plants wikipefia which thinks global warming is real but the 2020 thing wasm't fxed.

I never saw this b4 but its a remake of 1941s The Great Train Robbery and later remade in 1952 as South Pacific Trail. either ive seen, bt i did see theoriginal 1900s great train robbery.

after logo ad credits in 40s color of a book opening and showing pages of crediys  lol music dale butts, we get a narrator saying brave men aint forgotten and frank amd jim plumber were 2 of these and in the Ozarks of misouri jim was gonna get married and invited his fam and droogs

we see a guy doinf 1800s breakdancing we hear an old lady sauing to her daughter not to marry jim cuz hes an outlaw and don't got avings and she dont really love him but mom won't give her blessings

a moystache guy tells her a letter from winnie mcfail sed theres look all over this area and frank is working for a bad guy and main chic sez frank went straight like james wants to in pokemon

mountache wants her him weoinne and frank to make money there but she wants to bring jim but he dont wanna but a priest is coming and theres nt much time

moustache comes to the party andtells jim she left hinm for another guy and he thinks moustache did it and beats out moustache so he leaves and jim sez don't come back or ypu'll gert worse

the letter dropped by moustache from mcfail is read by jim and he wants to go for it in Nevada which i think was where road rash was on sega

they got a price on em but wanna ho anyway and chick gets there by train and goes in a saloon but a guy tells her women aint allowed w/o an escort as they cause troupble

she meets winnie mcfail and sez her dad was lex like lang or Luthor and she sez she looks like him and ued to be b0ning her dad b4 da mom

she talx with her about getting a job and takes a bubbl bath with plenty of bubbles like Cutey Honey and gets a dress from ewinny

they talk about jim whos reformed and a straight arrow and has 1 glass of beer and plays poer with his railroad pals

winnie shows em some guys at a cardgame and she merts frank wo sez hes Morrie and i think its plumber and they fance

also tis has guys talking fast and goes by fast but is only 80 mins but on Grit is 2 hours with adds

jim goes to rob a coach in front of a background and 1 guy has cigar samples and i think moystache guy is one of em and call him jim and gets slapped and sez he dont know him

they scatter horses and take cr-p and ditch em to recollect the scattered horses and ride off

chick is dating frankand andy devine likes it ase trys to take matches from a crippley guy but finds none cuz they were hidden

chick and frank look over the area and don't b0ne and he sez the people gotta civilize it but she sez if the railroad comes y then he'd get paid less

he sez theres a big shipment coming and she asks if he wants to get a lot of money to get rich but with her he sez hes the richeset and smooches her but she books it

home alone 2: you were here, and you were smoochin my brother!

holy crp we're hslf an hour in, thact whizzed by

she goes to the saloon andmeets winnie and in the room is jim and she admits the plan for the money was for winnie/er/miustache/frank but she claims to be intojim still

a love triangle, like rick lisa andminmei, or mina tigers eye and hawks eye, or serena darien and rini

jim comes in and finds jim and that she's jims woman who came to get fran to help him rob the gold andhe'd be jims

they fight like its a 40s movie andeventually the owner sez to calm it down or the shrfif will get emand he opens the door so the fight and fall off the balcony and bust a table

franks ok, jim's busted and frabk lwaves and the cart with the robbed guys comes by and sez jim plumber attacked and the plumber boys are back

sherrif sezfrank looks beat yup and frabk sez he dbont know who fid it and thought he was his riend

frank tells andy called casey he's ditching as if word gets out he hired frank plumber for god he's get fired but any sez franks dad aided him and he trusts him and frank knows the bad uys tricks

btw, frank and jim, or james, like frank and jesse james who wre Confederates and not in the union nor european union nor soviet union

wait, frank Norris? the author? what year is this take place?

He did McTeague wgich Erich Von Stroheim made into Greed which was one of the bet films eve

so chick and mcfail come byims shed and talk of where to stick up the train by where theres no ranches but the vault is solid steel and frank wont open it

then frank comes by and jim invited him but frank sezhe's gonna guard the gold and giveji 3000 dollars to buy him off and et him go to sovuet California and start again as a good guy

jim wants to bring chick names kate andfrank is ok with it but kate isn't andfrank goes

jim gies the money to a goon to buy blasting powder and is gonna steal it anyway but kate wants him to not betray him cuz frank worked hard for it

mcfail sez theres a wind that  blows sand on the tack and they wanna trick t into another tack to an abandoned mineshaft from 20 years ago

frank took out hs hole savings and 1 guy i think sherrif sees a wanted poster for the plummer boys and puts out a call to loomk into it

mcfail sez on august 4 theres a thing of 1 million dollars like dr evil and a calandar sez its august 4 1870

we're an hour in, that felt like nothing

kate sings a love songlike all these movies got in the saloon and eventually frank comes in anmd meets moustache who sez a gang sipped town t canda5 California

jim dancers with her and the pople andsez hes handling the train and she asks mcfail about what'll happen if they find him and is told they'd cap him if he tries to stop em

she goes to her room and ncfail loxks her in and he makes a rope outta bedsheets to climb out the wibdow

so i was reading tweets on blue sky from beta males and andy's boss suspected frank of tring to rob the train and tried to arrest him but kate aims a gun at him and makes him jum as mousta che gets on the train

boss sez to andy frank is trying to rb the train and andy deenceds him

frank sez he dont know the combination but she sez they'd ice hm if he dont do it and moustache clims over the train andcaps a drier but frank follows and trys to stop him ut gets capped

wait i thinkthe guy he capped was jis partmet andwait it wasn't its frank andthe train stops and the gang comes on and geys the capped guy wo was grazed but ko'edin the frot and drives on w/o the staff on the train

the boss sherrif sends a train to bust the train stolen as its easier to lose a 50 000 $ train than a mollion in gold

fank i think gets up andbeats out te guard on the engine cpntrols and  mves on but jim moves the train to another track to escape and change the rack bacl so the followers dont notice

sherrif finds the train gys dumped off and the gang moves the train on the sanded over tracks and recoes the track  and thers another frank in the gang

sogood frank goes around outse andwe see th train going in the cave like a poop goinf backwards in the a55

1 guy sez frank fell out in a fight and was out kold and they get the blasting powder and the andy and sherrif tinks the train line goes soon to the next station or nexus

jim gets kate out the cart and has her tied up so she dont esca as shes his fururd wfe like tommy wiseau

half an hour left, this is going fast.

also despiyr it being clearly bright blue skies of day they tinted it to fake night

sherrif gets to the station and fibds the stolen train didn't show up and this Mexico sezhe was told something nut it didn't show up and he has a recipt and the rail guy sherrif owes him 1 million $

sherrif or boss or w/e accuses em of conspiring to end him nd his railroadand take em over bt Mexico sez the thing seems like an insie job

the gang blows the safe and it avalanches the area oer the hole in the walls a55

shrrf sez the station or line or w/e is in cahoots with the plimbers and wants to catch the crooks to prove it

frank, but i wanna say kvi comws by this opening and the gan is carring out gpd in to a wagon and sneaks in to free chick kae

the gang fids kate is gone andgoes after em but they drive the rain out w/o having to power it up or have the fire brn or w/e

it busts through the rocks as like how superman is more powrful than a locomotive and escapes

jim betras mystache ed after not needing him now andcaps him when ed tris to cap him

sherri and andy find frank and he sez the gang has the gold but sherri thinsfrank too it bt andy defens him and they go tob get the gold

the baddz are on a carf of horses and theres a caseacros the wasteland lie hokuto no ken and the heroes fid the gang adfollow

jim diches the gold and chick issaved from te wagon by frank and it falls over

hey chase the gang adfire on em til they get to a star rek hill of rock and fre on each orher with a few falling

no dialogue, ony action, like a 20 film

jim gets capped and falls and they find hi sp-lattere like a pica ocket busted, jk really hes ok and bites it

frank sez chick wasn't part of the train robbery and it cuz of her saving jim i mean frank from being married i meanarrested and that let him stop the train heist

he takes time off to clear his charges i  misouri an marry kate

the end

tht was pretty good

goes by fast, talks fast, god actions and i like the color

its got nice music and is filmed well and ha good styple and is pretty 40s

kinda expected jim to go to h-ll ike earthworm jim gong to planet heck and frank getting the dame

i liked it and its pretty cool with a nic olde style

i like how the 2 broethers were different and like Cain and Abel but the bad one got it and the god one successfully reformed and didn't give in to temptation

like Optimus and Megatron being opposites but not brotehrs as thats non canon

For The Last Bandit 2 I want him and his woman to be going around from place to place to clear is name and doing various missions to help people. Also he fightscryptids and Indians and gajin and a a inosaur in an underground sub world. Also its a 128 bit game on GameCube, Dreamcast, ps2 and xbox where yuo go around liek in Zekda and do missions andget better items and longer life bars.

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Azuki Chan Review

 Note: I spell like a Japanese school girl

Azuki Chan

This is my review on Azuki Chan from the distant future year to Osamu Tezuka of 1995 (30 years before Transformers Virtory)

Its directed by Masayuki Kojima who did Genesis Climber Mospeada(Robotech Season 3) and The Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross (Robotech Season 02)

Its based on a Manga by Yasushi Akimoto and Chika Kimura that i neer read

It stars Issei Miyazaki from Barefoot Gen/BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad/BioHunter/Cardcaptors/Devil Hunter Yohko/Pokémon/Sgt. Frog/Tenjho Tenge/Wedding Peach, Yukana Nogami from Bleach/Dragon Ball Super(ew! and she was kale, one of the cr-ppy loser saiyans )/Flint: The Time Detective/Inuyasha/MAR/One Piece/Pokémon/Pretty Cure/Sekirei/Sgt. Frog/Super Dragon Ball Heroes/Cardcaptors/Ghost Stories/Wedding Peach/Toei Yu-Gi-Oh!, Kyousei Tsukui from Angel Cop/Call Me Tonight/Case Closed/Cyber City Oedo 808/Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex/Midnight Panther(wasnt dat p0rn0?_Mobile Fighter G Gundam/Monster Rancher/Magical Doremi/Sgt. Frog, Mitsuaki Madono from 00s Astro Boy/90s Berserk/Beyblade/Bleach/Case Closed/Cybersix/Digimon Fusion/Dragon Ball Z Kai/Flame of Recca/Flint: The Time Detective/Fullmetal Alchemist/GaoGaiGar: King of the Braves/Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex/Monster Rancher/One Piece/Pokémon/Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal/Saint Tail/Sgt. Frog/Shaman King/Street Fighter II V/Tenjho Tenge/Escaflowne/Wedding Peach, Rei Sakuma frpm Agent Aika/Angel CopCardcaptors/Case Closed/Cosmos Pink Shock/Dragon Half/Hamtaro/Mobile Suit Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz/Pokémon/Pop Team Epic/Shuten Doji/Wedding Peach, Rica Matsumoto Rica Matsumoto fromGravion Zwei/M.D. Geist directors cut/Mon Colle Knights/Naruto/New Cutey Honey/Pokémon/Sgt. Frog/Yu-Gi-Oh, Taeko Kawata frpm the sonic games/Bleach/Cardcaptors/Pokémon/Sonic X/Wedding Peach/Zatch Bell/Dragon Half/New Cutey Honey/Sailor Moon, Yukiji from Duel Masters/Flint: The Time Detective/Inuyasha/Pokémon/Sgt. Frog/Zatch Bell/Wedding Peach, Etsuko Kozakura from Sonic Games/ 00s Astro Boy/Case Closed/Daigunder/Ghost Stories/Inuyasha/Pokémon/Pop Team Epic/Sgt. Frog/Sonic X/Yo-kai Watch, Keiichi Sonobe from Amazing Nurse Nanako/Case Closed/Daigunder/Digimon/Digimon Frontier/Dragon Ball Super/Dragon Ball Z Kai/Fist of the North Star - Legend of Raoh: Chapter of Death in Love/Fullmetal Alchemist/Gintama/MAR/Monkey Magic/Monster Rancher/Naruto/New Fist of the North Star/One Piece/Pokémon/Pretty Cure/Sgt. Frog/Spider Riders/Zatch Bell, Kunihiko Yasui from Capcom vs SNK/The King of Fighters/Rockman ZX Advent/Apocalypse Zero/Cardcaptors/Case Closed/Demon Beast Invasion(a p0rb0)The King of Fighters: Another Day/M.D. Geist directors cut and 2/Naruto/New Cutey Honey/Ninja Resurrection/Sgt. Frog/Venus 5(a p0rn0)/Wedding Peach, Saori Higashi from Case Closed/Inuyasha, and Yuko Minaguchi from Tales of Symphonia/Sonic Shuffle/Klonoa/Dragon Ball Final Boot/Jushin Liger/BioHunter/Cardcaptors/Case Closed/Devilman Lady/Dragon Ball GT/Dragon Ball Super/Dragon Ball Z/Dragon's Heaven/Fist of the North Star 2/Fist of the North Star: Strawberry Flavor/lame of Recca/Golden Boy/Inuyasha/One Piece/Pokémon Chronicles/Sailor Moon/Super Dragon Ball Heroes.

I never sw this but my homie likes it and it was part of a double bill with the Sailor Moon SuperS movie, which I saw once but it was pretty good

ooh, it animated by Madhouse. Thye are usually great

so after the toei logo as they did some work on it, we get a drawing of azuki or red bean to soem 90s msuic and she dudnt like it but after a guy shes gay or yuunosuke liked it she became hs friend

her rival is yoko who wants yuunosuke and it valentines day where she ants to make chocolate wirh ore love than yoko for him

then an opening thats fun and nice and well animated to a nice song

this is when anime was good, its fun and creative and nice

also its widrescrene and colored but looks ike it should be fullcreen and was cropped for theatres as a lot of stuff is half offscreen, kinda like the dbz movies or transformers the movie

so kaoru shows azuki home bmade chocolate in a magazin and azuki wants her to mak it for ken the guy shes into and kaoru thinks it would be a waste as he sed men dont accept those things ad sh-ts of it(not literally)

azuki sez hes embarrassed and offers to team up to buy the book and do it with her(and not b0ning)

they walk home and talk about the chocolate they'd make and then yoo comes out and not like yuri on ice and sez shes havign a girls party in her vacation hosue wih skiing and its 2 hours away by car

is this like the lake epsiode of sailor moon where they go to the hot springs and sammy takes off serena's towel and the 90s dub kept it in??

So the 1st day of holidays is valentines day and at home this chick with red hair sez she dont wanna go to a snob party and suggests they say they got a grandma's b day

azuki calls yoko whp sez others didn't wanna come andseems like she dont thin girls like her

i assume shes gonna get disenfranchised and shoot the place up

ay school later red gead sez se'd be ok abd the other chicks dont got cr-p to do

yuunosuke comes in and heard she turned it down so hes going with en and matoko who are guys the azuki gang likes(azuki gang sounds like its in a Sukeban thing)

ken wants to ski/sowboard ad yoko comes in and is chumy with yuunosuke and not as in b0ning

red hair sez this was a plan yoko had to invite the boys to her vaentines party ans auki ssz had she known yuunosuke as coming she'd hae aid yes

I think this party is how spike hot ptegnant with emma in Degrassi jr high

so red head ssz sez theyd have a party  for her grandma and kaoru and azuki think yoko will give yuunosuke fancy chocolates

its probably got exotic spice in it that'll give him the runs

hnnnnnnng schlopppppp!!!

azuki thinks their home made chocolates will be overshadowerd and they cant give em to yuunosuke cuz hes 2 hours away

azuki gets home and her kid bro like Sammy in sailor moon is gonna go skiing and sh-t off fireworks in the place the yoko has her party as ken is bringing him to yoko's party

azuki looks at the chocolate book and imaguines giving yuunosuke home made chocolates by the fireplace

then he clutches his stomach and groans and tentacles erupt from his body and a big yokai bursts out his skin and says "At last, a virgin to impregnant with my demon goo!"

jk really dad sez yuunosuke is calling her and yuunosukeasks what soubineer she wants  and how her bro is coming and he looks forward to direworks and is picking up her bro day after tomorrow(When the ice age happenas and wipes out soviet Canada) cuz her house is closest to his

she's happy hes comming to her place and after hanging p ecides to get her a55 in gear

then we see a montage of her trying on aruous sexy outdfits cuz this is Japan, and wearing SM Gear and that Japanese rope thing anddressed like a h--ker in a string bikini top and microskirt and thigh high pleather neon high eel boots and buying a lot of c0nd0ms

jk even Japan won't do that, well,, not in this show anyway, really she

she alls kaoru and sez ti make choolate for the boys tomorrow after school nd she sez she needs moms apron

then they try making chocolate and hocolae and cream dont mix at that temp

her brother tries dipping his finger in the chocolate but burns it cuz its hot anc i hope that finger wasn't in his a55

mom ass if the cholcoate is for a boy and aziki sez go away and they make chocolaye in molds like creepy crawlers and she gives the devolved pieces to her brother

at night she prays to The Creator for the chutzpa to give yuunosukechocoateand he'd be happy with it

praying in anime? the dub might cut it like Saint Tail, but Escaflowne didn't censor it when Allen got shanked

the next day yuunosuke comes by and she sez fr bro to stay til she tells him and he knows of the chocolate but se denies it

she opens the door and its ken as yuunosuke had smething come up and he left on his own so he sent ken for the kid bro daizu

aziki is bummed and asks if he saw kaoru but he dsnt

kaoru is bummed as shes waiting fr ken to come by to yokos place buthe didn't go and the 2 broads wait inthe main room bummed

they start cutting themselves crying tears of blood and screaming crawl ing in my sin, these wounds they do not he al

jk really azukis rents say thety're going out and leave em alone til they return in the eening

the girls say 'the h-ll with boyts! lets try smething else!" and start making out

jk thats go nagai, really they think of the guys they like and yoko is driveb by her om wirh ken and daiz in a snowy road

moms a female Asian driver and drive off the road int the woods and nails a tree

this is how horror movies start. i assume a yokai will get em. Better call enma kun or enpi chan

red hea called idama is witrh the main 2 and laighs and sez they were s bummed they forgot er grandmas b day but the boys brobably frgot its valentines day as yuunosuke isn't the kinda guy to do cr-p like go to her party like thar

azuki gets a cal from yuunosuke saying the yoko ad cums never got him abd mijt br a car accident and the place he called isn'r responding

kaoru thinks something happened and jidama sez ken won't die while azuka thinks her rents are out and this is the 90s beore sieve jobs ruined the world with his apple cr-p, there's o cellphones

the teacher comes by and sez yuunosuke called him but they dnt now what happened so he's goung there and tey have teacher bring em in hus cr-pmobile

the teaher just brings a buncha ids somewhere? the 90s were innocent

so at night they find yokos oms car and yokos mom comes out of a builing and the others are in there and ok

a tow trick brought em to afety and yoko gt a fever being in the cold as se lower evolved

yuunosukes taking a tran and isn't tere yet so azuki thinkshe might be lost

we se him walkin the snowy woods ancomes after a car but dont contact it and it goes by

then he hears a sound and tuns to see a dog headed yokai with oozing rool and blood red eyes that glow

j rwally azuki wants to go but teacher sez she might get lost too

ken sez he wishes the house ha a ignal but 1 guy sez use a smoke signal like a nina so aziki ssz usefirework

they do and yuunosuke seez em and recalla azukis words and runs to where they are like the Wise Men and the Fist of the Star Of Bethlehem

he gets there andsees zuki and sez its ciz she tod hi and asks why ses here

ken sez she was woorrosd anfken wants to go night skiing like that epof sailor oon when daren was evil and raye skied wutserena and chad

yuunosuke wants to go if aziki and kaoru go and yoko ties togo but is f'd out and goes inside

seeing yoko's resolve they ganbare and night snii i mean ski and ken sez he ddnt gr choolate ton yoko but did rom daizu and it was gomemade and good whch makes kaworu i mean kaoru hapy

yuunosukesaid he as bumed she wasn't coming but is glad shes here anfd azikis brother snowboards into her

her leg is snaped and se's bleeding out but saus "ill see you in h-llyuunosuke-kun" andbarfs blood

jk rwallyshes ok and daizu gives herhis chocolate he ave herand its the devoled piece and shes worried it might be dtoo devoled for im

she offers him it and he laughs and sez he forgot it was alentines day and if he knew he'd have turned dwn yoko

e accepts her chocolate and j-ZZ spills n it, jkits a snowflake anf he eas it ad sez it tastes like her, but nt in a cannibal way but its sweet cute and jealous

she sez she'd never forgt valentines ay and creits roll witna water color image of azuki and other guys in it to bell ad orchestral music, wait its her and yuunosuke

the end

that was nice

cute innocent, fyn, kind and whlesme

its lite an positive and has heart and seems like peanuts eith Charlie brown in more than art and looks

i enjoyed it and the animation is good and it has charm and heart

glad i saw it, and thanks ryan for suggesti i review it

For Azuki Chan 2 I want it to be years later and she's married o Yunosuke and she's getting knda fat but don know if she's pregnant, so she ries to get a pregnancy test and stuff keeps coming p, lus hes pretty fat and keeps getting stuc in thins and haing to stop to breathe and chug a 2L bottle of pop. Also its a 128 bit game on Dramcast, GameCube, ps2 and xbox where you play as her and do miniames to get places and do tasks and stuff and press the right buttons to ecover stamina.

Friday, January 3, 2025

Crossfire Trail Review

 Note: I spell like i got caught up n the cross fire!!

Crossfire Trail

This is my review on Crossfire Trail from the diastant future year to alec iinness of 2001 (10 years before Robotech and Transformers the headmasters)

Its directed by Simon Wincer who did Quigley Down Under/Free Willy 01

its based on a book by openly French Louis L'Amour tht i never read

It stars manly Tom Selleck from The Rockford Files/Magnum, P.I./Friends/Boston Legal/Blue Bloods/Myra Breckinridge/Coma/Quigley Down Under/The Shadow Riders/The Sacketts/myra Breckinridge/Last Stand At Saber River, Openly Blonde Virginia Madsen from Dune/Candyman 1/The Number 23/Wonder Woman the direct to video 09 movie/Justice League/Spider-Man: The New Animated Series/f==kin gay a55 Teen Titans/Justice League Unlimited/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Pickle and Peanut/Designated Survivor/Voltron: Legendary Defender,  Wilford Brimley from The China Syndrome/The Thing/Cocoon 01/Seinfeld/Hard Target, David O'Hara from Braveheart/The Devil's Own/Hotel Rwanda/Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1/Gotham, Christian Kane from the 2004 movie Taxi, Mark Harmon from Natural Born Killers/2003 Freaky Friday/Chicago Hope/The West Wing, Brad Johnson from Left Behind/Left Behind II: Tribulation Force/Left Behind: World at War, Barry Corbin from WarGames/Critters 2: The Main Course/Ghost Dad/No Country for Old Men/M*A*S*H/Life with Louie/King of the Hill/Walker, Texas Ranger/The Looney Tunes Show/opebly cr-p Modern Family/Anger Management/Young Sheldon/Yellowstone, Ken Pogue from Silence of the North/The Grey Fox/The Dead Zone/The 6th Day, Joanna Miles from Judge Dredd, Rex Linn from Thunderheart/Cliffhanger/Iron Will/Clear and Present Danger/Rush Hour/Ghosts of Mars/Cheaper by the Dozen/Unsolved Mysteries/Doogie Howser, M.D.The Gambler Returns: The Luck of the Draw/JAG/Walker, Texas Ranger/Young Sheldon, William Sanderson from Coal Miner's Daughter/Death Hunt/Blade Runner 1/Married... with Children/Batman: The Animated Series/Santo Bugito/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/Jumanji the show/Walker, Texas Ranger/Cow and Chicken/The Angry Beavers/Dharma & Greg, Marshall R. Teague from The Shadow Riders/The A-Team/Quantum Leap/Baywatch/Walker, Texas Ranger/Sliders/Armageddon, Carmen Moore from Blackstone/Arctic Air/Bates Motel/Vikings, Glen Gould (Not the pianist) from Wolves from 2014/Bones of Crows/Yvon of the Yukon/Mary-Kate and Ashley in Action!/Blackstone/Murdoch Mysteries/Hard Rock Medical/Unsettled/Diggstown, and a frw i neer saw in anuthing or aint on back door, candy a55, aids bag, weener cleaner, Sodom bottom, banana crammer, cripple nipple, gender offender, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants Wikipedia who wants to be paid to lie to yu.

i nevr saw this b4 but its a made for tv movie and it was the most-watched made-for-cable television movie ever, until High School Musical 2

so in 1880 by soviet California a boat comes by and a dying guy talks with tom delleck and bites it so tiom beats the gay ut of the captain for what he dd to dying guy and takes oney from his box

some guys come by and hear mutiny is punished by hanging and they book it to the mountains and cr-p and say the money they took was back wages as creits roll

to caps a buffalo and 1 of his guys wants to ice more but tom sez they'll be gone in a few years

at night they camp and 1 is an irish andwants to go to montana for gold mines so in later he goes off

tom and homie goes to a place of 40 000 acres from the soo cheef red cloud by someone and on the place he goes to the town leaving homie there

in the store he orderssupplies nd sees a winhester for 32$ spcial order but the guy bit it

he meeds a blone playing moonlight sonata and recognizes it and talks with her of Beethoven wo b0ned wh0res and she thinks he's a redneck but he surprizes her

shes ann Rodney nd he sez her husband sent him there and she sez he was iced over a year ago

in the store he sez he'd get the cr-p in a day or 2 ad goes to get a drink where he mentions Charles rodny wjo everyone notices and sez rest in peace

1 guy sez a guy was caught by a raiding party or indiabs or w/e and i think the Brimley notices and followes him to the barber

as tom gets a shave brimley sez he worked with charlrs and wanted to go with him to sovet san fran Sodom

after cleaning up tom asks a guy what Rodney wore when the soo raiders took him but then notes te guy lied

a guy in a suit senfs the liar off ad makes peace wth tom  but seems sinister and the liar is called snake

on the way back brimley talkswith tm of stading up to snake and tom sez Rodney didn't get it from soo and he knows brmley speaks sooand has him say smething nice

tom goes in the woods and finds a leg broen red girl wos the chiefs daughter abd brimley wants to ditch her buttom tends to her

three toughs on horses come for the red chick but tom stands up to em and notes 1s gun is lashed dowb and  brmley has em at riflepoint and they go

rimley wants to ditch tom as he p-ssed off all the toughs and thers a red attack squad on the hill

manwe're half an hourin, tht felt like nothing

the reds come down with red cloud  and 1 sez they stole his daughter and to ice em but brimley tells em they helped her andred chck backs em up

tom sez Rodney said to look af his ranch and the red cloud lets em gobut 1 redhassles wm an runs off as tom knew he was only tying to scare em

virginya blondeis fiancé to the guy who sent liar off and wears black and tells his goons to take cae of something

blonde sez she can' pay the mortgage this month as theres not enough school kids and she might sell the ranch tinking charlies Rodney ha property in san fran sick and black suit loaned him money

at da ranch brimley and tom eat and irish comes by and then we get a montage of them getting hores and cr-p

brimley shows 1 guy i think homie a better way to file a horse hoof and do each side a bit instad of all 1 side

tom goes to chuch for prayer and blonde comes by and he tells her Charles die 6 weeks ago but i think dark syit cmes by in gray and a buster Kearon hat and tom  sez he'd be at da ranch and  goes

blonde asks if he's right of charle biting it recent anddark suit out of dark suit sez he only wants her ranch

after more ranch cr-p irishmmcirishmakes another irish joke and plays ches with brmley who wants no more irish jokes but homie likes em

in day timeblonde comes by and tom sez he promised cgarlies to lookm after his place and woan but he dont believe it cuz he never mrentioned tom

she goe of bt tom follows and she sez she met Charlie in san fran sicko and he wanted to be a big advsnturer but their daughter bit it at 4 months and they are at a grave and she gets jittery

tom sez charlies talked of da racnh al; the time but loved her most

tom goes to the bar and has a drink and tells blone carlies sold hi san fran cr-p to pay the mortgage and was shanghaied when drink to celebrate and when he trid to escape the bot the cptain beat him dead

one of the toughs wants to face tom so he gets the gun from the store and tells the tough he otta thank tom as the red chick was red clouds daughter AND red colud would skin him alive

tough shoots at tom but he went from magnum to 1 gauge an dtakes hi out and another guy on the roof cuz hes like a ninja and sensed his ki i think

at dinner dark suit in gray sez tough tried to b0ne a red girl and tom interviened and tom is lying about the holding in san fran solfd to pay the thin

at the ranch a cow is caught in a tar thing and tom ants to sell it as ashphalt to pave the streets o pay the mortgage

at the ranch they see the brother of tough who wants revenge and the sherrif wants to arrest him but it was self defence

dark uit guy sez hes the orghate holder and wants tom and friends out in 3 days but tom sez he got the money but dark suit se prove it

at home blonde dont lie hi wanting to send away tom but he tries to explain and she sez tom put flowers on her kids grave and when he sez the ranch is still hers, she sez she chooses ho stays on it

aftr tom and friends shoot cans blimey is at a bar and dark suit named bruce like booty boy offers him a stay at the ranch after tom is out but he dont anna

so this black hat comes bylookin like David kaye from beast wars and tom knows he;s gotta deal with him and comes to town

in school blonde reads a poem to kids and Tom comes by and reveals his name is Raphael like the angel or Ninja Turtle or Painter and his om got him good protoculture like Beethoven and Milton and sent him to the Jesuits but he didn't stick wth it

bruce meets with David kaye guy and revelas they were the ones who sent Charlie to the sea and expected him to bite it but didn't expect tom to come in liek an angel and not David kaye thought he otta just cap Charlie and could cap bruce and get it over with

brce goes to blonde and wants to marry her and later she goes to see tom and finds the tar on the property and its what back door bruce is after an they wind up smooching

not David kaye is gonna sniper tm but really he gets i think the irishma as the iris were the ethnics in that era and not considered White

wait its the homie who got it and the irish screams noooooooooooooooo

she goes to bruce and when she dont go with himto marry he slaps her and brings her to the barto force a marriage like hes a gaijin or something

sherrif sez object or hodl ur peace and barkeep sez he onjects cuz its not right so bruce caps himin the heart in front of many people like hes era miller

sherrif regrettingly marries em as she sez i do n- and covers her mouth and sherrif regrets it after

he takes her to a room to b0ne but she fights back and he slugs her out and leaves as i guess he's ot into b0ning what seems dead

after a servive for the homiethe three musketeers as aramis got capped head throguht the woods at night to save the day

in daytime bilmemey tsueis to sniper the davi kays sniper but htis the church bel nesxt to him an chaps brewaks out

eventually theres a gunfight and tom and firends with help from a geezer fire on the saloon and tom learns his woman the blonde is captive by the bad guy like t r Edwards having lisa hayes pregnant captive as rick hunter fights him in the original script for robotech ii the sentinels

sherrif leaves after a drink and throws his badge and tom gets shot but when down the David kaye comes by and tom takes him down but 4 he ends David kaye, bruce caps him

b4 the bruce finishes him, blonde wastes him and they walk off bullet wounds

the end

That was petty good

people hated it cuz it didn't do much new, but you don't gotta reinvent the when each time you make a new car

good acting and Tom was good in it

nice twists but i saw em coming but were still good

the music and acting was well done as were the effects and action

didn't expect the chick to end the bad guy but it works, like Sailor Venus killing queen beryl in the manga

its a solid movie and goes by at a good pace with no drag and nice flow

it doesn't feel like 2 hours with adds and had good heart

Glad I Saw This One

For Crossfire Trail 2 I want it to be years later and the oil sees to run dry and their daughter goes into the hole in the earths a55 to find the issue, turns out this underground city of coyote people is there and has plugged the hole the oil was abiotically made in for their oen reasons, so she has to take em out with a plasma rifle with infinite ammo and upgrade ammo packs she takes fro em to wipe em out cuz they're daemons. Also its a 16 bit run n gun game like Life On Earth on Sega Genesuis, Snes TG16 Atari Jaguar, and GBA.