The Ghost Ship

note; I fear the ocean. I don't spell right(the 2 are unrelated

the ghost ship

this is my review on the ghost ship(1940s)

its not the 2000s film ghost ship where the people get cut in half

after cool misty credits an eyeless guy panhandling notices a guy walking by is a sailor

he sez he heard his suitcase

maybe he sensed his ki

the sailor goes on a ship and asks a guy where the captain is

the guy is revealed to be mute through an inner monologue

all these disabled people

its like lon chaney sr

I never saw this film btw so this is a new experience

he meets captain stone (not lt stone from power rangers)

stone sez the sailor is like him as a youth

saulor is gonna wack a moth but stone prevents it

the moth harms no one

its not a wasp or a coon or a dog or some other pest

I like this captain stone

sailor goes to his room and finds the last guy in dat room bit it in it

its revealed the ship is bringing sheep parts

they have role call and make comments on the mute guy

only George jetson I mean jenson isn't there

jenson should be pronounced yen sin

so they find George jetson dead behind a box

mute guy has another inner monologue about how more will bite it

cant he write this out on paper?

maybe spit on the window and finger write?

1 guy talks with another about how if they do cr-p wrong it could wack em

sailor talks with captain about how hes not used to being an officer

i'm not familiar with sea rank

i'm from Slovenian ancestry

pretty sure theres no sea there

sailor I think talks with a guy who keeps saying cr-p in latin

ur American!

speak Japanese!

I do

yatsu ra gaijin wa yatsu okama oshiri gaijin

so sailor sez he likes da captain stone

later they pain something on da boat

and theres a huge hanging hook loose

oh they panted da hook

later a guy b--ches at the captain about the hook dangling but captain don't wanna f da paint

why paint a hook?

its like painting a hammer!

later the hook flails around and busts stuff

the men get it under control

btw the sailor is named mr merrium

like Miriam McDonald from degrassi?

at dinner sailor discusses the choice to not tie down the hook

he explains it in a way that sounds like he can have is men iced

later a guy is oiling up a shirtless guy and the shirtless guy blax out when touched on the tummy

so they do surgery on him with the radio guy giving him a step by step guide

the guy gonna cut I'm cant do it

back in high school a guy was hit by a car and broke a leg.

i had an idea where we recreate the surgery

where we play the dr's with masks on and use kfc for the leg

and do things like sneezing on the open leg

and getting mad at it and stabbing it up

and spitting in the surgery room

and ending with us eating a bit of the leg

so I think sailor does it

after surgery offscreen latin guy gives him a smoke

sailor don't wanna out captain stone over him not wanting to slice open a guy and f with his guts

stone explains it as he knew hes a captain and hes not meant for surgery

makes sense

know not to go too far when it could be dangerous

I wouldn't wanna do surgery

I cant even cut watermelon!

but I am good at carving jack o lanterns

but my watermelons wind up like jackolanterns

later guys argue over when captain should do

follow da rules, or the captain IS da law

1 guy tells da captain something captain dont wanna hear

later someone is in the place the anchor chain goes and captain walking by closes the door

its not shown if he know the guy was there

the chain crushes the guy in it

a guy (oh its sailor) sees it and captain sez to clean it up and he was a trouble maker

sailor sez he sees what captain meant by having something over the lives of his crew

he tries to get captain in trouble over being crazy\

but the rest of da (motley)crue don't like it

they stop at where they were going and sailor goes to out the captain

they have an informal hearing and everyone sticks up for the captain

later a chick meets the sailor and comforts him

she sticks up for the captain too and sez if he sticks to his story he'd have only a ghost ship to rule

later captain stone don't want sailor on his ship

later the chick talks to stone and I think she dumped her man to be with stone

stone sed his 1st sailor job the captain gradually went nuts

and he thinks hes going nuts too

later sailor saves a brittish guy from some german or Austrian sailors

but the brits are the bad guys!!

the next day sailor wakes up on the boat

he reveals a cop had him brought over and that he don't wanna be there

captain stone sez hes gonna be nice and other captains would hold it against him(him fingering the captain for murder)

he said dat to the guy the chains splattered

sailor tries to ask the crue for help but they don't buy him saying the captains gonna wack him

dat night he finds his door wont close

they took the thing off the frame

he rigs up a cloth thing to turn a light on when it opens

he hears a sound but goes back to bed

later he wakes up and finds the door partly open

also his window hole wont lock

he goes out and up and into the gun case and is gonna get protection

but captain holds him at gunpoint

captain sez he should've learned to respect his authority

sailor sez captains nuts

captain sez even if he tells the crew, they are loyal to him

is this like a jab at England and them being loyal to the regent who had daiana wacked?

the qween don't care about her subjects

they are less than dogs to her

once her dog mutilated a kid and she gave it a trial and had it get off easy

sailor tries to get the men to help but they don't help

even his latin homie don't want him around

oh and the mute guy thinks some monologue about watching things unfold

captain gets a message asking if merrium is on board

tom mirrium

like tom mason(dinosaurs for hire)?

that was a fun sega genesis game

latin homie tells sailor he believes in him and will help him the next day

well... that's the end of him!

oh and mute guy finds the message on the ground

captain gets sailor to send a message but its a lie about latin guy going away

oh he fell overboard

he fights captain but the crue restrains him

captain sez sailor is crazy and has him bound and gagged

also he has a guy give him a sedative he made

looks like that's the end of him

but hes the main character

mute guy gives the crew the note asking if aiolor is on da boat

they talk about it and captain overhears

he repeats the words "the boy is right" in his mind as the crew said; maybe da boy iz righte

captain snaps and gets a knife

hes about to ice sailor with it but mute guy arrives and they knife fight

captain gets gut cut

mute guy grabs the blade

mute guy shanks captain

later its revealed mute guy is captain I think

and sailor is by him in command

sailor makes it back home safe and meets a chick who he might b0ne

oh and he gives a coin to the blind guy

the end

that was pretty good

creepy but calm

good atmosphere and feel

good suspense

a bit of blood

kind of a slasher film as the captain is picking those against him off 1 by 1

for the ghost ship 2 I want the mute captain to be leader of a boat full of various disabled people who are skilled and bada55. they are all based off lon chaney sr characters and while on a delivery run, are under attack by sea daemons in a sci fi underwater u fo that wants their cargo to enslave men. but the crew's various disabilities make them immune in various ways to the sea daemons powers. also its a 16 bit fighting game on sega genesis and snes and gba with 8 human characters and 8 daemon characters and the daemon characters fight like the human characters as a way of tormenting them (like each human and rival daemon would be like scorpion and sub zero in mortal kombat, or chaos and blizzard in primal rage). but the human characters have cool crazy breakdance fighting moves that work with their disabilities and in the end they fight either the human mute captain(a knife warrior) or a daemon king with similar abilities.

I Walked With A Zombie Review

note; spelling right isn't scary. or is it?
I walked with a zombie
this is my review of I walked with a zombie
its by val lewton
after credits a chick sez a year ago she didn't know wat a zombie was
then we flashback I think
shes applying for a job and the job guy asks if shes into witchcraft
the job is in the west indies
I don't know wat dat is
then she takes a boat to da place
on da boat she chats with a guy about how the oceans beauty comes from killing and fear
like stem cell research
she likes the guy
on the island this black guy driving her somewhere tells her the history of how his people came to the island
she goes to live or work or w/e at a house
but theres like no one there
at dinner its just her and a man(the guys brother)
he introduces her to where the fam sits at da table and describes em
the boat guy (the guy) is his half big bro and one is named rand like the guy from Robotech
also boat guy as a brit accent from schooling in England (ewwwwwwwww)
also they can hear jungle drums
at night the chick sees a blonde walking outside
later main chick hears crying and goes to a place with a big rock staircase
she goes up it then the blonde goes up after her
they meet but the blonde is sleepwalking
boat guy comes up and has a maid take blonde down
boat guy sez there was no crying
he tells main chick that cuz f the people still feeling like its the slavery days, they cry when a kid is born and celebrate when someone bites it
that's f'd up
as long as theres life, theres hope
slaves can be freed
moses did it
plus these people haven't been slaves for nearly a century(its da 40s)
later main chick talks with boat guy about fear and cr-p
she thinks the blonde is mental
he sez no to trust the natives superstition
nowadays that would be called racist
later a dr sez the blonde is a zombie
then sez after a ever it burned out her nerves so shes f'd up
boat guy talks about beauty and the main chick being it
later main chick and dinner gut (half bro) are out and a guy pays a song that offends the bro
he tells her boat guy can use words the way men use fists
and he might've ruined the word beauty for her
sounds like we need sailor venus(sailor scout of love and beauty(cuz of her planet(venus)))
later the singer comes by and sings about the bros and why the blonde is a zombie
after she returns to the house the chick asks boat guy to help half bro get off the booze
later its dinner and half bro is disgruntled they didn't bring out da booze
btw the blonde is boat guy's woman
later boat guy tells the chick that b4 blonde went zombie there was a fight or something
later main chick realizes shes got the hots for the main chick
later main chick offers a treatment to fix the blonde
but it could ice her
they try it but I don't think it does anything
later the black people on the island have a new baby
one black woman sez the voodoo priest can cure the blonde
later another nurse advises a black boy to not practice voodoo and church stuff
nowadays that would be called racist
main chick talks to that nurse about voodoo and she tells main chick not to f with it
at night the black woman gives main chick directions to get to the voodoo place
main chick takes the blonde through the way there
theres creepy cr-p like skulls surrounded by peddles and a tall black guy w/o a soul standing and staring with dead eyes
they get to a gathering with drums and dancing and weird cr-p
dA other nurse gets main chick and tells her that the blonde cant be cured
once she had to tell a new mom who refused to boil water that a false god would fix water if she boiled it
at the ritual the blonde gets a sword through the arm but theres no blood
main chick goes back to the house and tells the boat guy
he sez he likes her clean decent thinking and appreciates her trying to help him
the next day main chick helps the black woman with a horse
the police left a horse there as they didn't need cops on the island
meanwhile, some guys are making a doll thing and having a ritual
later boat guy sez people say he drove his woman nuts
in the ritual the tall soulless guy and a mexicany looking guy do stuff with the doll
boat guy is gonna send main chick back to soviet Canada
but the moose might b0ne her!
he sez he tries to be rough with her to keep her away or something so she wouldn't get hurt
wait
hes sorry he was rough with her and doesn't want her to wind up like his woman
later the soul less guy comes up to them but the other nurse tells him to get away, which he does
that was f'd up
he looks like a ghoul
btw the boat guy is paul and his bro is named something rand
rand and paul?
like that 2010s American political guy
the dr comes to tell the boat guy theres gonna be an investigation cuz of the soulless guy getting in
the other nurse (who I just realized is the brothers mother) sez the blonde is an undead zombie
she sez she got taken over by a voo doo god and did some ritual to give the blonde a spell
she was against the blonde and fearing blonde was gonna take her sons from her
what is this? norman bates?!
why was she against her son having a woman?
was she jealous??
was she b0ning her sons!?
its like all dat fan art of trunks and bulma!
then blonde starts going out as the mexiciany guy uses the doll on a string to pull it and draw her
the bros dispute natural and supernatural
the half bro is behind the fence signifying hes caged or on the outside of the reasonable bro
but really the supernatural is real and you need good supernatural to fight it
half bro sez main chick should execute the blonde by putting her to sleep with drugs
that's murder btw
but in Canada now its legal
but there you cant shoot a raccoon tearing up your kids
what a f'd up backwards a55 country
she sez no to killing the blonde cuz she cares for boat guy too much to kill someone he loves
later half bro lets blonde out and the voodoo ritual people kill her with a needle in the doll
he shanks her with an arrow at the same time and carrys her into the sea as the soulless guy follows
he goes under and later people spear fishing find their bodies
boat guy and main chick comfort eachother
the end
that was not bad
its based on jane eyre
but not deeply so imma review dat later
this has good b/w style
good light and shadow
good creepiness
good acting and theme
its sorta like tromeo and Juliette but for jane eyre as its a horror remake of a classic book
but this is more 40s and thts f'd up awesome
for I walked with a zombie 2 I want the older brother from the 1st film to go on a crusade against the voodoo black magic users for f ing up his family and he goes around beating on them til they bust open. he uses holy items to protect himself from their black magic and can fire good ki blasts at them with a holy item. also its a platform game like mega man x on sega genesis and snres and gba and has the guy going around voodoo bases on the island busting voodoo black magic guys and having one arm with a holy ki cannon and the other with a big metal fist guard to bust em.

Billy The Kid Versus Dracula Review

note; this movie is too much to spell rigjt for
billy the kidf versus Dracula\
this is my review of billy the kid vs Dracula
its got john carridine as big D
it starts with a cr-ppy bat flying and some hicks sleeping outside by their wagons
the bat lands, cut to Dracula walking behind(its obvious they stopped and started filming to get the actor in)
he bites this blonde and leaves
then the rents find her with neck dots
then credits
wtf harry carry jr is in this
I assume this is based on a true story as its set in the past
that's how the history channel sees it
later these geezers are in a coach and being horse drawn with a guy in a red bow tie in it
I think its dracula
1 guy offers him whiskey
the geezers talk about why they're there
no one cares
just waste em drac!
the geezers have an 18 year old blonde bimbo daughter
they show drac the picture which is obviously taken not in the 1800s
near the geezer couples property is a mine or cave or w/e
drac looks at the blondes picture again and gets a b0ner
you can tell by his face
they get to the place and hear theres Indians nearby
drac sees one and uses his funky disco magic to hypnotize her
the next day dracs gone and they think hes a professer
oh and the Indians find the chick drac mindwiped dead so they attack the carriage
later Dracula flys down in bat mode IN BROAD DAYLIGHT and takes the geezer couples picture of their bimbo teen
the carriage people were wasted by Indians offscreen
I think they b0ned em dead
that's why it was offscreen
cant show b0ning in da 60s
then in the 70s fata55 marlon brando did butt p0rn0 in last tango in paris
later the bimbo teen ids in love with I think William h bonny
but she hasn't seen her uncle whos coming
oh and shes gonna marry him but something about her parents
later Dracula flies into town IN BROAD DAYLIGHT as a bat and rents a hotel room
he sez hes the girls uncle
and to call him when the geezer couple comes in
billy (willim h bonnie) comes by and talks to him
b4 he reveals hes gay for the bimbo word gets in that the carriage was attacked
also the people say theres a vampire after em
and billy works for the geezer couple
a guy sez something billy don't like so billy slugs his a55 out
the guy pulls a gun but billys faster and sez next time he'd cap him
do it now
ur gonna do it later anyway
skip da middleman
Dracula comes downstars and a  girl freaks out cuz she thinks hes a vampire
if only it was vampirella
billy sez the townsfolk have vampires on da brain(like twilight teens)
the bimbo comes to meet her rents but billy tells her they got iced
later its night and some Austrians or w/e are going to bed
the dad stands guard outside
drac gets in and makes a face to mind control the girl, then drain her
dad comes in and they find her iced
Dracula goes to meet the bimbo and tries his b0ner face
billy sees and later talks to the bar owner about Dracula
but the Austrian chick was iced and billy talks to her rents
the rents think its the uncle (Dracula)
they wanna stand and fight like the Spartans
drac talks to bimbo and billy comes back
drac accuses blly of being superstitious and thinking dracs a monster
billy tells em a vampire iced the Austrian but bimbo thinks its silly
like andersodom cooper mocking the spiritual on his biased talk show
u s-ck cooper!
and pit bulls need to go extinct!!
once he said in 2014; 100 years ago, the bible was used to justify slavery
yeah, slavery was a big deal in ww1 (50 years after the civil war)
like how 1000 years ago the romans oppressed Jerusalem
or a million years ago we fought the galactic confederacy
later the Austrian chick brings wolfsbane to the bimbo to keep out vampires
that's werewolfs ja dink!!
the BANE of wereWOLFS!!
she warns da bimbo of dracul trying to turn her into an undead
later drac trys to come in and stays out cuz of the wolfsbane
the next day she talks to billy about how silly superstitions is
later a guy beats billys big black blonde butt
at draclas hotel this woman turns the mirror around as it was facing da wall
oh its the Austrian chick
she tries to hang a cross but bimbo comes in and makes her take the wolfsbane
billy gets his bruised body repaired and da nurse gives him booze
oh and earlier they said a wolf ripped up a human
could be a pit bull
and they saw a bat near by
da nurse reads about vampires in a book
and how it turns women into vampires
maybe to b0ne
double necrofililia
why is there a legends book in a drs office?
also they don't cast reflections
drack asks who was in his room and tells Austrian chick to give him privacy
probably j-rkin off a lot in there
then drack and bimbo go to da cave
billy goes to the cave and talks to the bimbo
he gives her info on animal attacks but she denies it
billy asks bimbo to have drac stand in front of a mirror
but drac hears from the cave
why was he in a cave alone?
was he j-rkin off?
purvurt!!
billy goes back to town and talks to da sheriff about if drac isn't he real uncle and the real uncle might've been iced and his papers jacked
but the guy who fought billy hears and tells drac
later Austrian chick talks to bimbo about the mirror thing
drac comes in and tells billy hes p-ssed at billy beimg against him
drac tells bimbo billy is billy da kid
she sez that's in da past and they wanna marry
drac sez hes her guardian and sends her to her room
shes 18! shes a grown a55 woman! she can b0ne who or what she wants!
drac kicks billy kane I mean the kid out and sezif he comes back the guy who beat him up ill cap him
also drac sends the Austrians to live in the barn or w/e
at a bar billy drinks clear booze (like clear pepsi"?)
beat up guy tells billy to get outta town and pulls a gun
they gunfight and billy caps his fat a55
had he done it earlier he would've skipped the middleman
billy goes to da nurse and b--ches about Dracula
later drac comes into the bimbos room
oh hes gonna b0ne her!!
he sez tomorrow hes gonna turn her gay I mean undead
and mind controls her to consent
da next day da Austrian chick finds bimbo with neck marks
billy takes her to da nurse
then the sherrif arrests billy to let him stand trial
but it was self defence!
the dead guy started da fight!
u cant call someone an murderer if he won a fight YOU started!
drac comes back and finds billy took the bimbo
drac visits billy in jail and sheriff tells drac where bimbo is
he goes to the dr and is gonna take da bimbo
but nurse uses a mirror and drac freaks out
hes got no reflection
I feel your love! re flec tion! mitsu megae su hitomi ni!
the female dr (I called her as nurse b4) tells sheriff and billy holds sherif at gunpoint to get out
dr tries to give him a vampire killer but billy don't need it
billy goes off on sherrifs horse
drac carries bimbo into da cave IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!
at least when hne was in beast mode it made some sense
like in beast wars how their beast mode protected em from Energon
here Dracula walks around in da sun
even tommy wiseau dont do dat!
btw I know originally vampires wernt killed by sun and it was only started in F W Murnau's nosferatu it started
but this movie isn't good enuff to know that!
billy stops at home and then to da cave
by the time he gets there Dracula is putting her to sleep on a bed in da cave
billy empties his gun into big D but it does jack
drac fight billy in weird grappling
I think he was b0ning him in the real version
then sheriff and dr come in
sheriff caps drac but it does jack
billy throws sherrifs gun at drak and KO's him in da face (yeah that makes sense)
then billy nails a metal rod into big D
big D rots into bones and bimbo is ok
they leave the cave
the end
that was entertaining
good classic matinee cr-p
this is like the plot to a Castlevania game
if Dracula was in japan he can be in 1800s America
btw the guy who directed this also did sparrows with mary pickford
he also did So You Won't Talk, Dandy Dick, Boys Will Be Boys and Get Off My Foot
are these p0rn0es??
holy cr-p he did Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla!
that was so bad I loved it
so yeah this film was pretty good
it has that classic charm
for billy the kid versus Dracula 2 i'd like for billy and the bimbo to go to a part of America with mysterious attacks going on. turns out its sasquatch capturing people and b0ning them to made hybrid kids with em to create a new form of life to conquer the human race. and billy has a holy gun that fires holy ki at the sasquatch and never runs outta ammo. its also a run and gun on sega genesis and snes with 1 player as billy and one as the bimbo and they go through forest and ancient sasquatch ruins and towns and indian turf to clea out the sasquatch. also the bimbo has magic powers from her Dracula experience and goes around in a skimpy bikini and billy is big and buff and in a speedo like in golden axe

Captains Courageous Review

note; stuill cant type

captaibns courageious

this is my review on captains courageous

the 30s one with spencer tracey

as a kid my dad read me the classics illustrated comic of it

I remember the kid being a butt hole and wanting to crush poors with his big a55 boat

ooh, victor fleming did this

and its got lionel barrymore

after cool credits with waves washing away them on a boat, we get a rich guy eating and getting info on his cr-p

after he goes to work, his little p o s son bugs the staff to get breakfast in bed

the other boys there have to deal with the main kid

the kid is a spoiled brat and needs a good beating

if I were a cannibal i'd not eat him

hes spoiled

imagine me eating him

chew chew! ugg! this kids spoiled! bite! crunch! ugg! disgusting! slurp! i'm gonna puke his meat back on his corpse!

kid gives other boys his dads cr-p but just to f with em

and he sez cuz his dads hot sh-t, they better obey him or his dad will fire their dads

man

I was almost like that as a kid

I needed more beatings

one boy the main kid tortured comes crying to his dad about what a d-ck the main kid is

later main kid is on this newspaper thing and is f ing it up

they gyp him for coins when he speaks normal (not high rank grammer) like saying like as a something or either/or instead of neither nor

later main kid sez he only wanted in the paper cuz others wanted him out

the tortured kids dad trys to talk sense into main kid but main kid sez he gave him a bribe

he left 50$ in change for him to make the history test easier

main kid is punished with a thorough beating

jk

hes put in "Coventry"  where he cant speak or be spoken to

but he still trys

one kid has enough and slugs his candy a55 out!

so main kid covers himself in ink and goes to his dad and sez they took a bribe and silenced him and he escaped

but when dad sees the teachers, they reveal the kid was the bad guy

kid feels like he deserves more benefits than others cuz of some natural supremacy'

like a friedrich Nietzsche ubermench

this is like modern malcontent liberals who go on protests and whine when the cops beat em down

they decide to send the kid somewhere

dad sees kid but kid fakes being asleep and fakes having viet nam flashbacks of the teacher b0ning him

dad don't buy it

later dad and son go on a boat and son (kid ) wants to plow through the fishing boats under em

kid has 6 milkshakes himself with 2 boys

FATA55!!

i'm surprised hes not a tub already!

he goes back to see his dad but falls off the boat while hiding from the boys

that's the end of him!

spencer tracey is fishing and saves the little d-ckweed

he turns him upside down and barfs out 6 milkshakes

we don't see it (but it would be fun to see him hurling)

tracy gets him back to the main boat and he wakes up later with a big black guy cooking

kid sees the captain and wants to go to Europe or new York

but cap wont change his mission to catch fish to obey this little candya66

kid sez his dads a bigshot but they don't buy t

caps son gives kid some clothes and the boat gets to harvesting fish

cap sez in 3 months when they're full on fish they'll return to land

cap sez he'd pay kid 3 $ a month or day or week or w/e for working on their boat

kid goes on his usual tirade about his dad putting em in jail so cap slugs him out

kid don't wanna help so he gets no feed

tracey has positive views on koid but the rest of the crew don't

they think it might not be good to keep him for luck reasons

tracey tries to help the kid get to work but hes a little brat

kid tries to take a boat to new Sodom (new York) and attacks tracey for trying to stop him

tacey holds his arms and moves him to throw a fish head off the boat

then kid gets to eat

btw I heard tracey plays a Portuguese sailor but uses a Yiddish accent cuz he didn't know how to Portugal right

better Yiddish than brittish!

later kid and tracy have a nice moment where he teaches kid sailor cr-p

also tracy sings and plays a music box

they talk about fathers and how tracys dad raised him well with like 17 other kids

his dad musta been good at b0ning

the crew comes up and complains but I was talking about the 4th powerpuff girl in the bad series with a guy I know online

later tracy helps the kid and they do depth finding things

10 fathoms?

what about the cr-p from 10 000 fathoms?!

that movie s-cked!

later they're cutting fish and 1 guy chops his finger like sailor venus in that part cut from the dub

later kids gonna throw either fish parts or human waste over board and tracy tells him to spit 1st

he does and finds the wind blew it back

had he thrown it, it would splat him

later tracy is going out in a boat and kid goes mental

later a guy sez he can outfish tracy and tracy sez tracy and kid can outdo guy

they bet over it

tracy and kid go out and kid has lightened up and is more upbeat

tracy teaches kid to fish

kid and tracy talk about how tracey's dad bit it in the ocean

tracy is ok with it but kid is bummed

tracy talks with kid about how they fish in heaven and the apostles were fishermen

nowadays they'd make this look bad

then kid catches a fish

holy cr-p its huge

the other guy hes betting against f's out and kid reveals he f';d up the guys nets

so tracy throws back the fish and returns the kid to the boat

later kid reveals he f'd the guys hooks and he tries to wack him

but tracy defends him

oh and guy got hooks in his arm

later kid sez hes ashamed and tracy sings to him

later we get a montage of them catching an a55load of fish

later they get in a race with another boat

oh its a race back to land

I'm not paying much attention

tracy and kid talk about their plans when they reach land

tracy might be b0ning chicks

kid don't wanna go home and stay on the boat with tracy

later they're still racing back to land and I think its getting rough

the rival boat nearly busts the main boat

the weather tracy goes up the mast to fix something but it breaks and falls under with him in it

and hes caught in the ropes

holy f!

the bottom half of him was ripped off!

and he don't want the kid to see him with his guts spilling out

he tells the black guy in Portuguese

they start cutting him loose

oh and kids traumatized by this

if only he told the kid the truth that he was already iced

the rope is cut and tracy goes under

good thing he was catholic

otherwise he might've went to h-ll

well, that might not have saved r fk and j fk and gacy

who knows?

so later they drop off kid and his dads coming

kid talks caps kid into letting him have tracys cr-p

btw cap kid has like 3 scenes the whole film

wtf the captain is captain disko

is his kid captain grunge?

kid wants to stay with captain disko but disco sez no

then dad comes by and kid wants to be a fishing guy

dad is glad his malcontent son is back

later kid wants to go fishing and when dad sez he wants to meet the guy who saved kid, kid runs out cuz tracy bit it

dad is glad kid is not a dink any,more

captain gives dad advice on raising kids

later kid lights candles for tracy and tracys dad at the church

kid prays for tracy and sez he has to be with tracy one day

he leaves and dad sees him and heard his prayer

dad finds kid in a boat and comforts him

later theres a monument to tracy about those who bit it at sea

a man gives a speech in memory of them

they read names throw flowers in the sea each time a name is read

it ends with the kid and dad laughing and remembering tracy

the end

that was good

you really feel tracy's warmth

the kid is such a d-ck at 1st

but he totally turns it around

you feel for him

huh, Rudyard kipling wrote this

I never knew that

and the book is set near new Gomorrah (Canada) in newfoundland

for captains courageous I want the kid to have grown up and is a teen who is obsessed with fishing. he returns to the sea and when he sees the captain who had spencer tracy cut loose he has an episode and all the bottled feelings of wanting him to save tracy return and he goes nuts. captain reveals tracy was torn in half from the accident and this pushes the teen over the edge realizing he couldn't do anything and he snaps. he uses his dads wealth to create fishing based items and goes around chopping people up at night and feeding on their organs as his way of trying to save them after they get sliced in 2. also he has more enhanced awareness from being nuts and is one step ahead of the cops and knows everything happening in the room by his mind being super active. its also an action game on sega genesis and snes where you go round avoiding cops and getting people in rooms to chop em up.

Dynamite Review

note; this movie is long. too long to spel right
dynamite
this is my review on dynamite
its by cecil b demille and is from 1929, right after the silent era
ooh it has joel mccrea and William holden
so it starts with a trial and the main guy gets convicted of murder
he gets the noose
his sister freaks out cuz hes all she has
btw his sister is like 12 and hes like 40
his mom must've stayed fertile for quite some time
or maybe had him in grade school
elsewhere, this rich chick is disgruntled that she has to marry to inherit her grandpas cash
grandpa knew his daughter needed someone to help keep her in line
and theres a 1 month leftb4 her 23rd b day
after that, shes out of the thing
she reveals shes gonna marry another guy
but his wife wont let him
this just went springer
maybe maury
later at a 1920s country club these chicks play outside games
ooh, archery
in high school I watched Inuyasha and copied kagomes movements to do well at archery in gym class
I also copied hitomi's movements from escaflowne to do well in track long jump
so main chick talks with the guy she's b0ning about finding a way to get eachother and da cash
he reminds me of the white pride guy from the great Gatsby
got the moustache too
b0ning guy's wife casually chats with them about who gets who when
i'll call b0ning guy Gatsby
man, even in the 20s people were awful
they only care about cash and b0ning
they're like rappers
but they don't mispronounce words to force rhymes
wife and main chick talk about how much to pay for Gatsby
wife wants 200 000 zeni I mean screws I mean $ for her man
they agree to have a race and whoevr wins gets their price
this is the kinda stuff sailor venus or wedding peach would beat em up for
then theres a race in metal wheels where they roll and spin across the lawn
this is like a mario party thing
main chick wins but her and wife fall in da pool
later main guy offers his brain and body for science for 10 000 $
he was a weepy moment with his sister
he needs cash to keep her a place to live
main chick comes by and offers him enough cash to save his sister if he marries her
he sez to bring da cash 1st
later they build the gallows and the priest marrys them
they promise to forsake all others as long as they both live
no b0ning for 45 mins
can she do it?
place bets now
banzai
holy cr-p its 30 mins in already
that whizzed by
the next day (I think) shes in bed (no men there yet) and crys as the clock rings
elsewhere a nervous guy talks with a guy who looks like a manlier pee wee herman
pee wee keeps talking about what mai guy is going through b4 getting the noose
its really effing with nervous guy
he cant take it and nearly shanks pee wee
but peee wee caps him and he reveals hes the real killer and main guy is innocent
then he bites it
does he go to h-ll? I mean he confessed and all
and I don't think they show or mention pee wee ever again
does he get the chair?
was it self defence?
later main guy stops by main chick's place
shes disgruntled he wants to keep their promise to God
and wants to pay him to go
then her homies arrive for a party and she sends main guy upstairs
brw the main chicks name is Cynthia
her friends call her cyn
7 deadly cyns
cyn tells Gatsby the deal and he sez shes (shades) playing with dynamite!(yeaaaaaaaaah)
wife comes by for her 1st payment
she writes the check but main guy overhears
main guy goes to the bathroom and eats bath salts
if this were made today he'd go demon and eat people
but he spits em out here
main guy meets Gatsby and cyn and they reveal their parts
also he reveals cyn payed for Gatsby
despite him b0ning a lot of chicks, he thinks her paying for him is in bad taste
also Gatsby sez things stay as they are
and if cyn gives wife cash gatsbys done with cyn
wife wants to out cyn but cyn outs herself
main guy comes down and the drunk homies joke around
main guy cant take it and kicks the homies out
I think they tried to b0ne him
they swarmed him and all
some 20s bimbos crush on him as he kicks everyone out
I think in the real version the homies were on drugs
man we're an hour in and not much happened
but I'm enjoying this
cyn wants him to sleep in the servents quarters
he has gotten the 10 000 $ for the marriage
he goes up to see her and punches through a locked wood door
bada55
she fights him but he overpowers her and throws her in bed
he doesnt b0ne her but rather tells her off that he don't want her
then he returns to his mining town
2 weeks later his sister goes to school and sez; i'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on
that's what dennis rodman I mean Wesley snipes said in demolition man
in there his head came off and smashed
cyn comes to miner town and sez she has to be living with her husband on her 23rd b day to get the cash
he don't wanna go to live with her
esp after she treated him after he helped her last time
so she lives with him as his wife for a week
but not as in b0ning
just cleaning and cooking
I should mention that women wernt considered legally persons until the late 20s in soviet Canada
the unborn still aint
but raccoons have rights
cant shoot a coon or you get charged
my cousin's cat was shredded by those demons
and in japan they f up temples
later cyn tries to cook
but s-cked at it
he sister comes in and helps her by doing all the work for her
main guy likes it but cyn admits its not hers
they grow closer over honesty
he sez her diamonds are made of coal and love is like coal
then tells about his life as a coal miner
they listen to da radio and hear the song that played at their wedding
then a worker comes by and gets him to help in a dangerous area of the mine to help someone
later cyn is at a store and buys a kid a candy
then the kid gets run over offscreen
what is this? CHI NA!?
wait
the truck driver feels sorry
its not CHI NA
the kid needs a brain surgeon in the city
and they need cash and a fast car
so cyn uses her car she promised not to use
3 hours later they're waiting for her to get da dr
did the car crush in his head?
its all bandaged up
maybe they spilled out and need to be tied back in
cyn brings the dr and they can save him
main guy comes back and is p-ssed she took out the car and busted out his garae
he thinks she was b0ning her bf
she doesn't ever say what she did and decides to book it
then the townsfolk come by and reveal she saved that kid
and used her own cash to pay for it
and drove it herself
she calls her Gatsby and sez she wants him to get her
she gives vague instructions on how to get there
he somehow finds it and sez he sent his wife to reno
he wants to see main guy 1st as he don't wanna steal another guys woman
didn't stop u from b0ning a chick while married to another
they go to the mine and deep in it
a guy sez its not good for a lady in a mine
what about hermaphrodites?
like yubel from Yugioh gx
or baron Ashura in Mazinger Z?
they reach main guy but he don't wanna see em
they're gonna leave but da mine collapses in
good use of miniatures
the guys topside start trying to get em
but they deep underground
although there was light outside the tunnels when they caved in
main guy sez they can be saved in 3 days
but theres only enuff air for 15 mins
yu hav watt yu kneed co hae gen! nao geev deez peep ell eiya!(in Arnold voice)
also gas is getting in
main guy admits he loves cyn
but also hes not getting out
theres a place with air behind a wall
but they have dynamite but no fuses
so hes gonna hammer it and sacrifice himself
topside the workers are gonna drill nonstop to save em
Gatsby tosses a coin for who ets to blow apart
he wins
but they fight over it
this is like in Robotech where rick was into lisa and mnmei
cyn has to choose who gets to live
after hiding in a rock wall, Gatsby tells main guy she chose him
then has main guy say bye to cyn behind the wall
then sez; that's that. batter up.
and hits the dynamite and blows into chunks'
cyn sez she told Gatsby she loved main guy
topside the workers hear the boom and now they're alive in it
main guy and cyn (CYberNet) walk through the opening to air
wat about the gas getting in?
the end
that was well done
its like 2 hours but don't feel like it
demille did it again in the ten commandments
I like how the main guy talks sorta 30s style
and it captures life like events like kids getting in over and couple spats
I believed it
even if some parts were kinda convenient like him getting freed from the noose
but truth is stranger than fiction
I've heard worse irl
for dynamite 2 i'd like it to be the main guy and cyn in the tunnel as they wait to be rescued and start having psychic experiences of heir past as they reval eachothers childhoods. also they fight the urge to eat the pieces of the guy who sacrificed himself in the 1st movie to save em. in the end they realize he can live on as a part of them and they eat him then b0ne to remake him as their 1st kid. also the kid who got run over has psychic abilities unlocked from his brain damage and starts gaining powers that make him a super hero in dynamite 3 where hes a teen and taking on f d r's commie squads to protect real americans

Eraserhead Review

note; I never saw this b4. my thoughts and speling aint perfectp

eraserhead

this is my review on eraserhead

its by david lynch who did a lot of cr-p I never saw

except dune over a decade ago

it starts with some weird hair guy pverlayed in space over a rock

theres some wind sounds

wtf am I watching?!

I think the rock is moving

hard to tell

we zoom in on the rock to a house and a hole in da roof

its heavy shadow and black/white

if yoshiaki kawajiri directed this it would look awesome

like ninja scroll or cyber city oedo 808

some guy who looks rotted is in shadow an pulls levers and the main guy from space has overlayed sp-rm flying away from him

the sp-rm lands in a water thing

is this life beginning?

or did he j-zz in a puddle?

the camera goes through a white opening in a tunnel and main guy gos to a building

he walks around lke Charlie chaplain and steps in a puddle

was there j-zz on his shoe?

this has kind of a cabinet of dr caligari vibe

its weird silent distorted backgrounds

main guy goes in a building and its got a weird tim burtony floor

he goes up an elevator and looks kinda like brendon fraiser(anyone remember him?)

on the floor he gets off some chick invites him to dinner

he goes to his apartment and plays a record

after sitting silent for a bit he looks art a ripped photo

he goes out and theres either steam or smoke from something

he talks to some blonde about her not coming around anymore

he goes in for dinner an theres this geezer chick with em

a dog has a buncha puppies sucking its t-ts

dog nipples are like centipede legs; theres too many of em

and they having dog milk for dinner?

they talk about work and the blonde starts acting like a dog a bit

is she a furry?

a guy (bill )talks about how the neighborhood went to h-ll and his knees are f'd

the geezer (the blondes mom) stirs the salad of this grandma like chick and gives her a smoke

at dinner bill (the dad) sez he had an operation on his arm years ago

dr sed it would work anymore

so he rubbed it and got it back

but it went numb

dad has main guy carve a blue jay or some small cooked bird and it moves and bleeds

the mom has a freakout

then the blonde

is... is this a p0rn0?

were they b0ning in the real version??

I cant tell

later mom brings main guy in a closet and asks if he b0ned the blonde

he sez sorry and she starts doing mouth stuff to his face

blonde stops her and mom sez blonde pooped out a baby and its premature

after theyre married they can pick it up

its ot a sega game you get for getting a good grade!

later she's feeding the baby and its a weird slimy puppet

main guy brings some small thing for his puppet son

I think the real father is Kermit the frog

puppets b0ning humans?

is this pee wees playhouse?!

got some lusty puppets there

main guy looks t this metal thing and light come outta it

holy cr-p its been like 35 mins

nothing happened

just weird people moving slow

but unlike 2001 a pace odyssey, its interesting

or maybe its just cuz this is my 1st time

after the puppet crys at night the blonde yells at it

she then snaps and goes home for a night of sleep

she yells at him to take care of things while she's gone

if you want it done right, do it urself!

I its crying it needs something

the chick from b4 comes down the hall

in the night the puppet is calm and main guy puts a thermometer in its mouth

why not the a55?

does it have an a55?

holy f!

it suddenly cuts to dissonant music and the puppet covered in dots and moaning

freekjin picture of dorian gray!

he sez its sick and boils steam near it

right as he opens the door togo downstairs the pup[per crys and he checks it

it calms down but when he opens the door it does it again

so he stays with it

aw f it looks awful

like its got aids rot

later the metal thing lights up and we get a thing of a checkerboard floor an a chubby blonde chick with face swellings dancing

big noodles of sp-rm fall from the ceiling as she smiles and shuffles back and forth to music

then she steps on a  sp-rm

then another

is this a p0rn0?

is he j-rkin off?

then hes in bed and the blonde (I think) is taking up too much bed and all greasy

he keps pulling out intestine looking things from her and throwing em on the wall

this cupboard of the wall is shown with spotlight on it

then we get stop motion intestine piece moving around

it goes in a thing and we see main guy sitting in bed

I just realized if that guy got his arm working by rubbing it, why not rub the puppet to heal it?

main guy opens the door ad the chick from b4 comes by saying she locked herself outta the apartment

I think she wants to b0ne him

the puppet crys but he covers its mouth

she asks to spend da night there and they b0ne
I think they b0ne in a cauldron

its full of milk

we see the rock and then the chubby face swell girl singing about in heaven everything being fine

main guy gets on the floor with the girl and light shines on em and she vanishes

then he sees a rotted guy and the wind blows the dead sp-rm away

a tree wheels in and main guy's head pops off like a toy as a huge sp-rm is in him

blood oozes out his head on the floor(paper mache head) and his body grows his puppet sons head

his head falls onto the street and a guy gets it

I have no idea whats going on

say what u will about tommy wiseau but at least his movies made some form of sense

as in; u could tell whas happening

the kid who grabbed the head taes it to a place with 2 guys and they drill it

oh

they use it as a pencil sharpener

they turn on a pencil machine and make more pencils

then main guy wakes up and stands around

the puppet makes some sounds and moves

the puppet makes cackling sounds according to the closed captions I leave on so I can get a 2nd chance to get their words I miss

he looks out and sees the chick

later he cuts thre wrappings on the puppet and it freaks out

the wrappings open up and its all weird inside

he scissors the insides and the puppet pukes blood as the insides ooze

the insides release creamy cr-p and it keeps erupting

its neck extends as the lights flicker

the head teleports between light flashes and is huge

then the light goes out and the rock from b4 busts open

we see the rotted guy holding a lever as sparks fly

in a soft white light area the chubby blonde hugs main guy

then the credits roll

the end

wtf sissy spacek helped make this

wtf did I just watch??

I'm not sure what I just sat through

its like a dream but not a dream

I have no idea what this is about other than maybe putting deformed people to sleep

I hope its not that cuz dats horrible

I kinda liked it

I mean I didn't hate it

but man that was strange

everything people did in parodies of david lynch is true

for eraserhead 2 i'd like for the main guy to wake up and the chubby blonde with face swelling is there and revealed to be his daughter from the future. also he's pregnant with her as after he b0ned the neighbor chick, the puppet kid controlled him to release him from the wrappings and the head extending went into him and got him pregnant with the puppet kid(who needed to finish developing and the mom was out). the rest of the movie is the main guy being pregnant and having weird fantasies until he poops out the finished kid, the blonde from the future.