Tuesday, October 10, 2017

I Walked With A Zombie Review

note; spelling right isn't scary. or is it?
I walked with a zombie
this is my review of I walked with a zombie
its by val lewton
after credits a chick sez a year ago she didn't know wat a zombie was
then we flashback I think
shes applying for a job and the job guy asks if shes into witchcraft
the job is in the west indies
I don't know wat dat is
then she takes a boat to da place
on da boat she chats with a guy about how the oceans beauty comes from killing and fear
like stem cell research
she likes the guy
on the island this black guy driving her somewhere tells her the history of how his people came to the island
she goes to live or work or w/e at a house
but theres like no one there
at dinner its just her and a man(the guys brother)
he introduces her to where the fam sits at da table and describes em
the boat guy (the guy) is his half big bro and one is named rand like the guy from Robotech
also boat guy as a brit accent from schooling in England (ewwwwwwwww)
also they can hear jungle drums
at night the chick sees a blonde walking outside
later main chick hears crying and goes to a place with a big rock staircase
she goes up it then the blonde goes up after her
they meet but the blonde is sleepwalking
boat guy comes up and has a maid take blonde down
boat guy sez there was no crying
he tells main chick that cuz f the people still feeling like its the slavery days, they cry when a kid is born and celebrate when someone bites it
that's f'd up
as long as theres life, theres hope
slaves can be freed
moses did it
plus these people haven't been slaves for nearly a century(its da 40s)
later main chick talks with boat guy about fear and cr-p
she thinks the blonde is mental
he sez no to trust the natives superstition
nowadays that would be called racist
later a dr sez the blonde is a zombie
then sez after a ever it burned out her nerves so shes f'd up
boat guy talks about beauty and the main chick being it
later main chick and dinner gut (half bro) are out and a guy pays a song that offends the bro
he tells her boat guy can use words the way men use fists
and he might've ruined the word beauty for her
sounds like we need sailor venus(sailor scout of love and beauty(cuz of her planet(venus)))
later the singer comes by and sings about the bros and why the blonde is a zombie
after she returns to the house the chick asks boat guy to help half bro get off the booze
later its dinner and half bro is disgruntled they didn't bring out da booze
btw the blonde is boat guy's woman
later boat guy tells the chick that b4 blonde went zombie there was a fight or something
later main chick realizes shes got the hots for the main chick
later main chick offers a treatment to fix the blonde
but it could ice her
they try it but I don't think it does anything
later the black people on the island have a new baby
one black woman sez the voodoo priest can cure the blonde
later another nurse advises a black boy to not practice voodoo and church stuff
nowadays that would be called racist
main chick talks to that nurse about voodoo and she tells main chick not to f with it
at night the black woman gives main chick directions to get to the voodoo place
main chick takes the blonde through the way there
theres creepy cr-p like skulls surrounded by peddles and a tall black guy w/o a soul standing and staring with dead eyes
they get to a gathering with drums and dancing and weird cr-p
dA other nurse gets main chick and tells her that the blonde cant be cured
once she had to tell a new mom who refused to boil water that a false god would fix water if she boiled it
at the ritual the blonde gets a sword through the arm but theres no blood
main chick goes back to the house and tells the boat guy
he sez he likes her clean decent thinking and appreciates her trying to help him
the next day main chick helps the black woman with a horse
the police left a horse there as they didn't need cops on the island
meanwhile, some guys are making a doll thing and having a ritual
later boat guy sez people say he drove his woman nuts
in the ritual the tall soulless guy and a mexicany looking guy do stuff with the doll
boat guy is gonna send main chick back to soviet Canada
but the moose might b0ne her!
he sez he tries to be rough with her to keep her away or something so she wouldn't get hurt
hes sorry he was rough with her and doesn't want her to wind up like his woman
later the soul less guy comes up to them but the other nurse tells him to get away, which he does
that was f'd up
he looks like a ghoul
btw the boat guy is paul and his bro is named something rand
rand and paul?
like that 2010s American political guy
the dr comes to tell the boat guy theres gonna be an investigation cuz of the soulless guy getting in
the other nurse (who I just realized is the brothers mother) sez the blonde is an undead zombie
she sez she got taken over by a voo doo god and did some ritual to give the blonde a spell
she was against the blonde and fearing blonde was gonna take her sons from her
what is this? norman bates?!
why was she against her son having a woman?
was she jealous??
was she b0ning her sons!?
its like all dat fan art of trunks and bulma!
then blonde starts going out as the mexiciany guy uses the doll on a string to pull it and draw her
the bros dispute natural and supernatural
the half bro is behind the fence signifying hes caged or on the outside of the reasonable bro
but really the supernatural is real and you need good supernatural to fight it
half bro sez main chick should execute the blonde by putting her to sleep with drugs
that's murder btw
but in Canada now its legal
but there you cant shoot a raccoon tearing up your kids
what a f'd up backwards a55 country
she sez no to killing the blonde cuz she cares for boat guy too much to kill someone he loves
later half bro lets blonde out and the voodoo ritual people kill her with a needle in the doll
he shanks her with an arrow at the same time and carrys her into the sea as the soulless guy follows
he goes under and later people spear fishing find their bodies
boat guy and main chick comfort eachother
the end
that was not bad
its based on jane eyre
but not deeply so imma review dat later
this has good b/w style
good light and shadow
good creepiness
good acting and theme
its sorta like tromeo and Juliette but for jane eyre as its a horror remake of a classic book
but this is more 40s and thts f'd up awesome
for I walked with a zombie 2 I want the older brother from the 1st film to go on a crusade against the voodoo black magic users for f ing up his family and he goes around beating on them til they bust open. he uses holy items to protect himself from their black magic and can fire good ki blasts at them with a holy item. also its a platform game like mega man x on sega genesis and snres and gba and has the guy going around voodoo bases on the island busting voodoo black magic guys and having one arm with a holy ki cannon and the other with a big metal fist guard to bust em.

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